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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:14:07 PM EDT
[#1]
I’m really offended by all the ADD talk.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:15:08 PM EDT
[#2]
I have no advice as I don’t have kids.
But, OP you come off as a well intentioned upstanding man that is a damn good father. That’s all I have. /Cheers |
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MP, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:15:45 PM EDT
[#3]
I appreciate all of your replies because it shows me different ways to think about this whole matter. Angles that I never even thought about. Even curve balls like the possibilities that the other parents might’ve bullshitted me, to not even getting involve with any of these nutbags any further. I only took the risk in going to speak with the other parents because I had done work for them before and had met them previously. Lord knows some parents might fly off the handle when confronted similarly.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:17:32 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: I appreciate all of your replies because it shows me different ways to think about this whole matter. Angles that I never even thought about. Even curve balls like the possibilities that the other parents might’ve bullshitted me, to not even getting involve with any of these nutbags any further. I only took the risk in going to speak with the other parents because I had done work for them before and had met them previously. Lord knows some parents might fly off the handle when confronted similarly. From what you’ve said about how they responded, I don’t think they’re lying, but that’s probably what the principal will claim. |
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MP, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:18:34 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Concentricity]
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Fence_Post: I’m really offended by all the ADD talk. Back where I came from, when I came from there, it was instead referred to as either mildly retarded or severely retarded. But that’s not PC nowadays so we say ADD, even when the kid is just a little asshole that lacks discipline. Regardless, I’m sorry. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I would feel redeemed. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:19:25 PM EDT
[#6]
Tell the school you want a copy of the assault report for your lawyer because, your son has been having nightmares about it.
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USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:20:22 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Master_Blaster]
[#7]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Malbec: You inserted yourself in something that had absolutely nothing to do with you? Someone needs to do the principle's job. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:20:35 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SpeedYellow: You don’t actually know the principal lied to you— you’re simply choosing to believe the parents instead of him. Not sure that’s a smart assumption. Yep. Good chance the parents are full of shit and playing dumb. Almost as dumb as injecting yourself into a situation that doesn’t involve you. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:20:57 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By tveddy: Run for school board Yep. Get a crew to do so, get your shit together and weaponize this kind of behavior against the existing super, principal and board. There’s a very good chance the board is intentionally pulling a Sergeant Schultz and keeping themselves in the dark. If you need advice on how to do so PM me. I’ve helped establish conservative majorities on two school boards in my county. |
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MP, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:23:26 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By AlabamaFan64: From what you’ve said about how they responded, I don’t think they’re lying, but that’s probably what the principal will claim. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By AlabamaFan64: Originally Posted By Concentricity: I appreciate all of your replies because it shows me different ways to think about this whole matter. Angles that I never even thought about. Even curve balls like the possibilities that the other parents might’ve bullshitted me, to not even getting involve with any of these nutbags any further. I only took the risk in going to speak with the other parents because I had done work for them before and had met them previously. Lord knows some parents might fly off the handle when confronted similarly. From what you’ve said about how they responded, I don’t think they’re lying, but that’s probably what the principal will claim. Which is why I think I’m going to take the advice also of another member who advised on page 1 to not meet individually with either one of the School Administrators and instead take the matter to a public forum of parents. Lord knows that they’re out for Admin blood anyway. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:24:30 PM EDT
[#11]
OP went and confronted some strangers based on a situation that didn’t involve him, after hearing a third-party story told by children?
Seems wise and well thought out. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:25:04 PM EDT
[Last Edit: StealthCRF]
[#12]
Originally Posted By Concentricity: What advice do you have for me? 2.) Tell the other dad that if he doesn't straighten his kid out you'll be the one strangling him. 3.) IF you know he lied, tell the principal he is a lying sack of shit who cares more about reputation than the welfare of the children. 4.) Teach your kid some honest to God disabling attacks and tell him that there won't always be someone there to defend him and the attacker may not stop. If he got choked, he'll probably be receptive to instruction. |
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MP, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:27:20 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Concentricity]
[#13]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By FightingHellfish: OP went and confronted some strangers based on a situation that didn’t involve him, after hearing a third-party story told by children? Seems wise and well thought out. I see the risks and respect your point of view. If it makes you feel any better, I’m told that the ADD asshole kid is normally a boisterous loudmouth and verbally abusive to anyone, and for some reason he was quiet and reserved in school the past couple days. I wonder what might have contributed to that change. I grew up with a small handful of assholes just like that kid. One of my largest regrets in life is not beating the brakes off of them when I was still young enough to not get in any significant amount of trouble for it. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:27:34 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By StealthCRF: 1.) Don't mention ADD 3 times in one line like your post, because forgetting where he sat down the TV remote has nothing to do with his behavior towards others. 2.) Tell the other dad that if he doesn't straighten his kid out you'll be the one strangling him. 3.) IF you know he lied, tell the principal he is a lying sack of shit who cares more about reputation than the welfare of the children. 4.) Teach your kid some honest to God disabling attacks and tell him that there won't always be someone there to defend him and the attacker may not stop. If he got choked, he'll probably be receptive to instruction. 
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:28:22 PM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SpeedYellow: You don’t actually know the principal lied to you— you’re simply choosing to believe the parents instead of him. Not sure that’s a smart assumption. |
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WA, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:30:18 PM EDT
[#16]
I had to do jury duty once, involving a case of a developmentally disabled boy who sexually assaulted a developmentally disabled girl. It blew me away at the lengths the school district went to cover things up. Turns out the kid sexually assaulted many kids. Boys and Girls. Those people were scum and I hope they rot in hell.
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:32:14 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: I see the risks and respect your point of view. If it makes you feel any better, I’m told that the ADD asshole kid is normally a boisterous loudmouth and verbally abusive to anyone, and for some reason he was quiet and reserved in school the past couple days. I wonder what might have contributed to that change. I grew up with a small handful of assholes just like that kid. One of my largest regrets in life is not beating the brakes off of them when I was still young enough to not get in any significant amount of trouble for it. His parents probably told him to take a chill pill because some big meany knocked up and embarrassed them directly. I'm certain he hasn't turned a new leaf and will be back to his shitbag ways shortly. The kid needs an old fashioned ass whuppin. |
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MP, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:33:13 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Harmonic_Distortion: Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Harmonic_Distortion: Originally Posted By SpeedYellow: You don’t actually know the principal lied to you— you’re simply choosing to believe the parents instead of him. Not sure that’s a smart assumption. You’re not the first person to mention this and I respond that you’ve got a great point. The reason I brought this matter to all of you here at GD is because I wanted your opinions and I’m learning from all of you. Thanks! |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:40:14 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By FightingHellfish: OP went and confronted some strangers based on a situation that didn’t involve him, after hearing a third-party story told by children? Seems wise and well thought out. This is a far more logical response than the usual GD peanut gallery responses espoused in this thread. The principal couldn’t have told you what was done discipline-wise anyway. It violates FERPA. I’ll say a physical altercation like that is a pretty much automatic three days out around here. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:42:16 PM EDT
[#20]
Interesting story indeed. I have two kids, 9 and 12, making their way through the public school system. We're in a DC suburb and I've watched as the quality of public schools here has degraded. We don't have a lot of private school options and though we've looked into home schooling programs, my wife and I both work, a lot. That said, both of our girls are doing well in public schools, both in gifted programs, both A/B students. I mention this just to give you some background.
I have a general disdain for the majority of government employees at any level. That disdain is magnified for school administrators and some teachers. I don't give them an inch. I've come close to filing lawsuits against our school district twice since 2020. I've had to have meetings with teachers, principals and school board members over a handful of incidents and policies. If I were in your shoes and these were the facts...I'd start with a few letters to school board officials followed by sit-down meetings. Let them have their investigation. If I didn't feel satisfied with the results I'd be looking to have an attorney depose the principal while posturing for a lawsuit. I'm sure your school board has in-house counsel and a budget for these issues. I've found a lot of public employees, especially school boards, don't give a shit about lawsuits or threats of legal action. It's not their money being wasted to defend it. They do care a lot about bad publicity, however. |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:44:08 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Kraquine]
[#21]
Was a time when kids settled matters on their own behind the school. Much simpler times. Less litigious times. Less entitled kids. Less helicopter parents. |
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NE, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:45:08 PM EDT
[#22]
If you really want a change.
1. Keep your appointment with the super 2. Agree to nothing in the way of actions to be taken 3. Organize other parents 4. All of you go to a school board member AND the board president. Not just one board member 5. Present your concerns - everyone presents. Do not stop until everyone is heard. All of this is done cordially with emotion shown See it to the end |
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MP, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:45:44 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Concentricity]
[#23]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Master_Blaster: Someone needs to do the principle job. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Master_Blaster: Originally Posted By Malbec: You inserted yourself in something that had absolutely nothing to do with you? Someone needs to do the principle job. Suppose Mal-bec that you were the grandfather that died. Then that little ADD asshole picks on your grandson and says that you were a bad person and a lot of other bad things. Then think of how distraught this all makes your grandson just a few days after your death. Are you ok with people standing by, acting like nothing is wrong with that? Because it sounds like you would be. Based on the information that you provided, have I misjudged you? @Mal_bec May your chains rest lightly. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:45:56 PM EDT
[#24]
Sue the district, use the money for your kid’s further education. Covering up an assault especially one that rendered your kid unconscious is fucked.
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TX, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:46:30 PM EDT
[Last Edit: tsg68]
[#25]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Fence_Post: I’m really offended by all the ADD talk. Why? Kid is probably on adderall… |
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NE, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:46:34 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Malbec: You inserted yourself in something that had absolutely nothing to do with you? Yeah OP did that but found out intel on admin in the process. I’d call it a wash |
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:51:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: Im_Awake]
[#27]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: You’re not the first person to mention this and I respond that you’ve got a great point. The reason I brought this matter to all of you here at GD is because I wanted your opinions and I’m learning from all of you. Thanks! I don't work with child behavioral issues, but I do work with adults. This is what I'll say...the behaviors this child is exhibiting are more than simply being mischievous and obnoxious. This kid does and says things that are intended to hurt. Boys fight and get into it. That's part of being a boy. But the dead grandfather thing...that shows progression. That kid saw vulnerability and exploited it for no other reason than to torment another person. That is typically a learned behavior and it's an acquired trait developed over time. Now where he learned that is anyone's guess, but probability would suggest it's someone close to him. Whether that's the parents or someone else, I don't know. But for the parents to seem shocked and/or surprised of this behavior tells me they're either completely oblivious, complicit, or you're dealing with a young psychopath that is able to manipulate his parents. Or perhaps a combination of all 3. Before you shakedown the principal, I'd step back and take another look at the situation. You're obviously taking the cerebral approach with this which is admirable. This is free advice and it's worth as much as you paid for it. Good luck |
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MP, USA
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:55:56 PM EDT
[#28]
That free advice is worth a lot more than I paid for it. Thanks Im_Awake
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Posted: 4/26/2024 11:56:30 PM EDT
[#29]
Homeschool and run to sit on the school board
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FL, USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:00:03 AM EDT
[#30]
Sounds like the reason I resigned as an SRO. Discovering from staff and records that the principal was trying to cover up safety issues so I wouldn't take action. When I uncovered the extent of it and brought my own Sgt in, the principal flat out admitted to the cover up and claimed that they have the right to overrule state statute because of "principal's prerogative" and decide what to mandatorily report or not. Admitted to the Sgt that I was deliberately not told about major issues (bomb threat on campus, suicidal students, threats to kill staff) because "then he'll write a report, and parents will find out, and they'll think the school isn't safe and take the kids out".
It ended with a shouting match between the Sgt and the principal, and I walked out and resigned to go back to the road because of the target on my back. Nothing we could do to remove the principal. Years later and they've been promoted to run a bigger, better school. Nothing's changed. Running for school board and then draining the swamp is the only real way of fixing problems in schools..and it's a huge uphill battle because the political machine is so deeply entrenched in most jurisdictions. |
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CA, USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:01:17 AM EDT
[#31]
I remember read your thread from last year.
I would be pissed learning what you just have. Nothing further comment on what to do, I wish you luck in getting justice for your son and others that was bullied. |
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ISR
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:04:57 AM EDT
[#32]
 Walking Dead Chappelle's Show - SNL |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:15:25 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Malbec: You inserted yourself in something that had absolutely nothing to do with you? Sometimes as men we have to do what's right, even if it's uncomfortable. Good job op, I don't have any great advice, but I don't think you need it. We need many more Americans like yourself that are willing to fight, and I'd stand beside you any day. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:24:39 AM EDT
[#34]
Have sex with the principles wife and then lie about it.
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:29:58 AM EDT
[Last Edit: mousehunter]
[#35]
I used to have at least some trust for my small school system. Most of that dissipated yesterday. My son has been bullied for years in this school. The last couple years, even the teachers are doing it as well. This year, 3 teachers have taken personal vendettas against him. The last one really pissed me off.
School requires the kids use school issued computers, you are NOT allowed to do homework on a personal computer - only the school one. My son's laptop from the school is apparently FUBAR - he has gone to get it worked on multiple times in the last month - they can not fix it. He did his homework on a different school computer - they would not give him credit for it. He eventually submitted it again for fractional credit... This was in a NON academic class. Due to the fractional credit, they kicked him off the school academic team - he was doing good, he would have probably gotten scholarships because of it, it would have helped him with college admission - all that is fucking gone now because they refused to fix his school computer. That $200 peace of crap laptop just potentially cost my son a full ride scholarship and might even prevent him from getting into a college he wants to go to. But they also kicked him out of competition programs in the fall, and they kicked him out of the athletics program this spring. The fucking teachers are more concerned with their feels than a kids future. Sure, my son most likely has diagnosed ADD. I don't have a problem with that - I suspect I do to. I learned to deal with it, it was an asset. Now it is just an excuse for a punishment. --- but the school does not care the last fucking contest he went to he was fucking forced to sleep in the closet - bullying is prided upon apparently. |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:34:28 AM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryThis was the first thing that popped into my head. I don’t think people realize exactly how effective this method of handling problems would be. |
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USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:35:06 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By tveddy: Run for school board This. Plus: Lawyer up. Send kids to private school. Fuck Government Indoctrination Centers. |
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USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:35:37 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By GilTPayne: Whats the parents hair color have to do with the story? One of the parents has no soul. Hence defective offspring. |
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NM, USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:38:35 AM EDT
[#39]
At this point, I have no idea why parents willingly send their kids to public schools.
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:38:44 AM EDT
[#40]
The school system doesn’t care about you, your kid, or the bad kid.
The school system cares about more funding and growing its bureaucracy. You don’t know if the parents or principal lied to you. Maybe both lied to you. |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:42:32 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: Back where I came from, when I came from there, it was instead referred to as either mildly retarded or severely retarded. But that’s not PC nowadays so we say ADD, even when the kid is just a little asshole that lacks discipline. Regardless, I’m sorry. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I would feel redeemed. In this thread, we find out that OP has zero idea about what ADD/ADHD actually is. At all. Being forgetful, a lack of impulse control, and emotional dysregulation does not make someone "mildly or severely retarded". 
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CO, USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:46:04 AM EDT
[#42]
People still let their sweet children ride the school bus?
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:52:55 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By 80085: Do not meet one on one with the superintendent. Bring the information up in a public board meeting so that everyone knows. If the superintendent and the principal are not doing a good job for the students then this information needs to become public knowledge. I think this makes sense. Also, at the public board meeting be as even tempered and objective as possible - just in case the kid (who assaulted your son)'s parents are lying. |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:53:49 AM EDT
[Last Edit: BlackTaco]
[#44]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SV650Squid: At this point, I have no idea why parents willingly send their kids to public schools. This. I have one kid in private Christian and one kid in public (she was older, had straight A’s and her club soccer team all decided to go there). I made a horrible decision allowing her to go there. Public school is the fucking devil. It’s every single thing that we are against, teaching their thoughts to our kids. Sell your fucking new cars if you have to, and pay for a private school that has similar beliefs in your family values. Our private Christian school has programs to help families that can’t afford the $1000 month payment. Some pay less than half of what we do. Sucks, because then you get some parents that don’t have the same beliefs but still care for their kids schooling, but anyways - it’s 1000X better than public. |
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OH, USA
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Posted: 4/27/2024 12:57:24 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: I appreciate all of your replies because it shows me different ways to think about this whole matter. Angles that I never even thought about. Even curve balls like the possibilities that the other parents might've bullshitted me, to not even getting involve with any of these nutbags any further. I only took the risk in going to speak with the other parents because I had done work for them before and had met them previously. Lord knows some parents might fly off the handle when confronted similarly. |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 1:31:29 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By pr24guy: Tell the school you want a copy of the assault report for your lawyer because, your son has been having nightmares about it. Good thinking. Principal would be worried sick about giving a deposition if he lied. Because the lawyer wouldn't just accuse him of lying right off the bat. Lawyer would ask for details and slowly and painfully get to the fact that he never actually dealt with it or talked to the other parents. |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 1:44:03 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Malbec: You inserted yourself in something that had absolutely nothing to do with you? Yeah I felt that part was a little odd but it's probably a good thing he did here because he reopened up the part that did involve him and found out the principal lied. Doesn't surprise me. Public schools. I really don't see what ADD has much to do with this either period a lot of people have ADD it doesn't make you violence or be even a way like that kid. That kid just sounds like an asshole. |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 2:01:33 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By tveddy: Run for school board See Loudoun county Va for people making noise and standing up to lies. |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 2:12:40 AM EDT
[Last Edit: wyomingnick]
[#49]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: Back where I came from, when I came from there, it was instead referred to as either mildly retarded or severely retarded. But that’s not PC nowadays so we say ADD, even when the kid is just a little asshole that lacks discipline. Regardless, I’m sorry. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I would feel redeemed. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: Originally Posted By Fence_Post: I’m really offended by all the ADD talk. Back where I came from, when I came from there, it was instead referred to as either mildly retarded or severely retarded. But that’s not PC nowadays so we say ADD, even when the kid is just a little asshole that lacks discipline. Regardless, I’m sorry. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I would feel redeemed. If you're associating add with retardation then I'm honestly wondering if you've mixed it up and you were referring to someone with a different disorder. Add is nothing remotely familiar to retardation and quite a few people that are quite normal and productive have it. Sure you're not thinking of aspergers or something ? |
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Posted: 4/27/2024 2:14:48 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By tsg68: Why? Kid is probably on adderall… Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By tsg68: Originally Posted By Fence_Post: I’m really offended by all the ADD talk. Why? Kid is probably on adderall… That is a valid point that I hadn't thought of. ADD itself is not going to make the kid act like this and it isn't that relevant, but he could be on medication that is affecting his behavior. |
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