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Posted: 5/13/2024 9:54:08 PM EDT
[#1]
A lot of people don't have any manner anymore, they are inconsiderate and rude.
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Posted: 5/13/2024 9:54:22 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By VACaver: If they don't say "Thank you", I always loudly say "You're WELCOME!" You would be better off just not holding doors than being a condescending asshole. |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 9:54:31 PM EDT
[#3]
I don’t do it for thanks or even to be acknowledged. Just respect and kindness.
But around here most say thanks. |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 9:55:02 PM EDT
[#4]
I opened a door for a mid thirties gal that had her arms full one time and as she approached she said “That’s ok, I don’t need you to hold the door open for me.” in a snarky tone.
I slammed the door closed right in front of her. Fuck you twat. |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 9:56:23 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By boobaloo: Idk it's awkward af when a guy holds the door and then I gotta run/speed walk cuz I'm not really close to the door you can always just be like "Hey thanks hows it going" or something to short circuit the awkwardness. But if someone looks like a mega bitch or dickhead its also funny to be the asshole first and cut them off in a doorway or let it slam and watch them just take it |
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NY, USA
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Posted: 5/13/2024 10:08:21 PM EDT
[#6]
Next up on Arfcom:
What amount should you tip a person who holds a door for you? 
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Posted: 5/13/2024 10:13:54 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By pale_pony: don't ever expect something in return, ever besides ladies, the reason most men, ok the reason ALL men hold a door for you is so they can check out dat ass when you walk past    wha?...i'm the only one brave enough to say it? LOL, I mostly hold the door for old folks and I'm definitely NOT checking their booty. |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 10:24:45 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Rattlehead34: I loudly say “you are welcome”. If I see them again in the store and we cross paths I don't move. I always say loud and clear “you’re welcome” most of the time they feel embarrassed and say sorry, thank you. After that I move on and couldn’t care less about them. |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 10:28:00 PM EDT
[#9]
I haven't noticed it happening around here. Maybe a one off situation.
99.9% always say thank you. And my reply, you're welcome. |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 10:48:38 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By planemaker: More drivel. Reminding people of how manners work helps keep manners in the forefront of people's actions. Do manners have a place? Absolutely. Is it your place to educate people on manners? Maybe, maybe not. Why is your view of manners and etiquette the only acceptable norm? Why do your values have to be imparted to me? They don't. So when you hold the door open for me and I do the faintest of nod because I'm in a conversation or focusing on something else, you pulling the "you're welcome" from your sleeve is a waste. It doesn't educate me, it doesn't improve society, and it doesn't make for a polite society that you would probably claim to value. I just want to be left alone in public, for some reason, that's a problem for folks. |
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USA
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Posted: 5/13/2024 10:58:03 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By SuperHeavy: Good luck finding anyone who even holds a door for you anymore. The "older" people on the east coast are the only ones that will do it reliably. I find women are the most notorious at walking by and trying to not make eye contact and never says thanks. Age doesn't matter. Like they expect it, I expect it, but Ialso says thank you and speed up my stride every single time. Automated doors, cell phones, and acting important have made people complete douchebags. I live in a small mountain village in Socal. Everyone holds the door and everyone says thank you. We all know each other. We don't have residential mail delivery because of heavy snow and steep terrain so I see everyone when I get my mail. I've never been to the east coast but when traveling abroad east coasters make me ashamed to be American. I guess if you grow up around the rudeness it's normal. |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 10:59:21 PM EDT
[Last Edit: planemaker]
[#12]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By silane: You can call my stance hogwash, drivel, buffalo puckey, whatever you want. That doesn't change the fact that you or your wife throwing the passive aggressive "you're welcome" to someone that doesn't thank you for holding the door open isn't educating anyone on manners, it's just you taking a jab at someone for not fitting into your views of proper social construct. Educating would be having a conversation with someone. You're not trying to educate, you're looking for confrontation, because that's exactly what comes next when someone tells you/Mrs. planemaker to get screwed. Because well, you aren't going to let someone talk to your wife like that, are you? Do manners have a place? Absolutely. Is it your place to educate people on manners? Maybe, maybe not. Why is your view of manners and etiquette the only acceptable norm? Why do your values have to be imparted to me? They don't. So when you hold the door open for me and I do the faintest of nod because I'm in a conversation or focusing on something else, you pulling the "you're welcome" from your sleeve is a waste. It doesn't educate me, it doesn't improve society, and it doesn't make for a polite society that you would probably claim to value. I just want to be left alone in public, for some reason, that's a problem for folks. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By silane: Originally Posted By planemaker: More drivel. Reminding people of how manners work helps keep manners in the forefront of people's actions. Do manners have a place? Absolutely. Is it your place to educate people on manners? Maybe, maybe not. Why is your view of manners and etiquette the only acceptable norm? Why do your values have to be imparted to me? They don't. So when you hold the door open for me and I do the faintest of nod because I'm in a conversation or focusing on something else, you pulling the "you're welcome" from your sleeve is a waste. It doesn't educate me, it doesn't improve society, and it doesn't make for a polite society that you would probably claim to value. I just want to be left alone in public, for some reason, that's a problem for folks. Your stance is not only hogwash, drivel, etc., it's both wrong and stupid. There is nothing passive-aggressive about pointing out rudeness in a person's behavior. Nothing. Further, there's nothing "confrontational" about attempting to help people recognize they need to modify their behavior. The proper social construct is called "manners". If you don't have any or haven't been taught any, it's important to be given that education. If you can't see that helping someone understand the proper social norms called manners isn't beneficial to society as a whole, it is you that is the problem. ETA:  I hate rude behavior in a man. (Lonesome Dove) |
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USA
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Posted: 5/13/2024 11:19:29 PM EDT
[Last Edit: merdenom5]
[#13]
I've noticed the people I think won't be polite, like tough gang banger looking people with tattoos on their face, are always polite and say thank you. Every time.
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Posted: 5/13/2024 11:22:31 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By pedaler: If you're doing it to get a thank you why bother? Just curious......Do you also monitor for assholes on the road and then punish them? |
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Posted: 5/13/2024 11:54:29 PM EDT
[#15]
I've gotten in the habit of saying "fuck you too then"
Tired of being polite to complete shitheads. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 1:51:15 AM EDT
[#16]
I usually make an effort to hold the door open as I walk through the doorway, "relieving" the person who was holding it open for me as I say "thank you". It just feels weird having someone, especially another dude, hold the door open for me without making some effort, however small, to do it for myself.
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Posted: 5/14/2024 1:56:42 AM EDT
[Last Edit: DubyaB]
[#17]
They are assholes op, oh I'm on the phone it will ruin my convo saying thank you .
World's full of self important assholes. Who's little lives are really pretty meaningless. They were not brought up to be civil. |
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MN, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 2:00:21 AM EDT
[#18]
I stopped holding doors open for strangers after 9/11
Use your fucking hands and open your own damn door. Chicks don't like it when a guy acts like a gentleman. Guys get really tired of bitching from angry karens. If I don't know you, I am not your damn bellhop. |
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JPN
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Posted: 5/14/2024 2:26:17 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By HS2: LOL, I mostly hold the door for old folks and I'm definitely NOT checking their booty. It's OK. You're around friends. You can tell us the truth. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 2:38:06 AM EDT
[#20]
@cmxterra
Pics of Oscar not loading. You opened the..............door.
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UT, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 3:17:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Whiskey1Alpha]
[#21]
Appropriate thread as this happened to me literally earlier today.
Was standing at the counter of the local pack and ship place. Out of the corner of my eye, I see an old couple at the door both carrying the end of a large wooden trunk. They have it where the width of the trunk is wider than the door, and they are trying to pull the door open towards them while both carrying the trunk. 1 hand on trunk next to them, 1 hand trying to pull the door towards them...hitting the trunk/blocking them from going anywhere. It was like some sort of geriatric Chinese finger trap. They didn't know the door can swing either way. Regardless, they looked like a bunch of morons doing what they were trying to do, so I stepped over and told them that the door can swing inwards as well. They both just kind of stood there and I asked if they wanted to get out of the way of the door and I can swing it in for them so they could literally just walk in with the trunk. They looked at me like they were totally fucking annoyed I was even trying to help them. At that point I was just like 'whatever' , and reached my arm out to hold the door open, outward, for them to attempt to fight their way in with the trunk hitting literally fucking everything. Both walk past me, don't say a fucking word. Next time I'm just going to stand there and be amused at how fucking retarded you look. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 3:59:20 AM EDT
[#22]
Manners are generally the mark of a kind and/or intelligent person
I deal with a lot of people who are neither… 
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USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 4:24:33 AM EDT
[Last Edit: JimEN]
[#23]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By 18Steel: I always say loud and clear "you're welcome" most of the time they feel embarrassed and say sorry, thank you. After that I move on and couldn't care less about them. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By 18Steel: Originally Posted By Rattlehead34: I loudly say "you are welcome". If I see them again in the store and we cross paths I don't move. I always say loud and clear "you're welcome" most of the time they feel embarrassed and say sorry, thank you. After that I move on and couldn't care less about them. Are you going to just walk away? |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 5:15:42 AM EDT
[#24]
Did they ask you to open the door for them?
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Posted: 5/14/2024 5:22:42 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Grunteled: You don't do it to get thank you's. You do it because its a civil and polite thing to do. I appreciate when people do say thanks, but my opening the door doesn't confer an obligation on their part to thank me. Again, that would be the polite response but I'm not going to get bent out of shape that they don't. This The lack of appreciation, however, is akin to a name tag which states “Hi, I grew up somewhere other than the South and my momma didn’t teach me manners.” There are the people who are offended by “sir” and “ma’am”. They are also likely to vote for the same policies which ruint their home states. My advice is to keep your distance, they become agitated when cornered.
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Posted: 5/14/2024 5:24:14 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Rattlehead34: I loudly say “you are welcome”. I do the same. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 5:25:30 AM EDT
[#27]
Lots-o door-ragers and walk-ragers out tonight...! |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 6:22:14 AM EDT
[#28]
There I was. It was a typical Arfday.
I was 50 yards away from the diner and this guy comes out. This smiling bastard pops out the diner and holds the door open. It takes me a bit to figure out he's holding the door open for me. I'm walking slower than usual with a bit of a limp because I just had my very first experience with plantar fasciitis and the exercises and sole inserts hadn't kicked in yet. This asshole is letting swarms of mosquitoes in the diner and all the air conditioning out for the sole purpose of feeding his narcissistic supply with a thank you. Not today Mr. Thank You expecter. "Close the fucking door, you stupid clown, you're letting all the mosquitoes in.", I yelled in a manly manner from 40 yards away. "You're Welcome", he screamed back. "Fuck you. Not getting a Thank You from me because you're standing there letting all the AC out in a silly attempt to prove yourself the better man. " That did it. Mr. Door holder let the door go right as an old lady was trying to come out the diner. Smacked her right in front the face. Then it happened. We simultaneously bladed at 45. Massive adrenaline dumps. He kept screaming "You're Welcome". I kept screaming back, "Not today". We were still closing distance while 45 bladed when the old lady caught up to him with her walker. He turned suddenly to face the new threat and then quickly snatched her walker. Just then a pack of pit bulls arrived. Mr Thank You pulled a glock 9mm and I pulled an 1911, 45. The old lady pulled her Smith, 38. Together, we blasted those pit bulls. The police arrived and were getting ready to arrest us when a couple of golden retrievers arrived wagging their tails. The police started blasting the golden retrievers and Mr. Thank You, the old lady, and I made our escape. We all thanked the golden retrievers for saving the day. |
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NC, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 6:29:31 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Houstons_Problem: There I was. It was a typical Arfday. I was 50 yards away from the diner and this guy comes out. This smiling bastard pops out the diner and holds the door open. It takes me a bit to figure out he's holding the door open for me. I'm walking slower than usual with a bit of a limp because I just had my very first experience with plantar fasciitis and the exercises and sole inserts hadn't kicked in yet. This asshole is letting swarms of mosquitoes in the diner and all the air conditioning out for the sole purpose of feeding his narcissistic supply with a thank you. Not today Mr. Thank You expecter. "Close the fucking door, you stupid clown, you're letting all the mosquitoes in.", I yelled in a manly manner from 40 yards away. "You're Welcome", he screamed back. "Fuck you. Not getting a Thank You from me because you're standing there letting all the AC out in a silly attempt to prove yourself the better man. " That did it. Mr. Door holder let the door go right as an old lady was trying to come out the diner. Smacked her right in front the face. Then it happened. We simultaneously bladed at 45. Massive adrenaline dumps. He kept screaming "You're Welcome". I kept screaming back, "Not today". We were still closing distance while 45 bladed when the old lady caught up to him with her walker. He turned suddenly to face the new threat and then quickly snatched her walker. Just then a pack of pit bulls arrived. Mr Thank You pulled a glock 9mm and I pulled an 1911, 45. The old lady pulled her Smith, 38. Together, we blasted those pit bulls. The police arrived and were getting ready to arrest us when a couple of golden retrievers arrived wagging their tails. The police started blasting the golden retrievers and Mr. Thank You, the old lady, and I made our escape. We all thanked the golden retrievers for saving the day.  Attached File |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:30:30 AM EDT
[#30]
Years ago ,I held the door for a middle aged black woman at an IHOP in Texas.
She stopped right there and started adjusting her hair like I didn’t exist. I just released the door and let it swing shut on her. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:32:57 AM EDT
[#31]
I do it all the time, when that happens I say "You're Welcome..."
Gives me what I need to not be pissed. Gives them a, Oh fuck, yeah maybe I should have said thank you. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:34:19 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JimEN: What do you do if the person tells you to get fucked? Are you going to just walk away? Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JimEN: Originally Posted By 18Steel: Originally Posted By Rattlehead34: I loudly say "you are welcome". If I see them again in the store and we cross paths I don't move. I always say loud and clear "you're welcome" most of the time they feel embarrassed and say sorry, thank you. After that I move on and couldn't care less about them. Are you going to just walk away? 
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:37:49 AM EDT
[#33]
Originally Posted By flippflopped: WTH is wrong with them? They just walk by like you were supposed to hold the door for them. It pisses me off. What so hard about saying “thank you”? Nothing is hard about it, but they did not ask for you to help them. Don't do it and everything will be ok. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:53:35 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By VACaver: If they don't say "Thank you", I always loudly say "You're WELCOME!" Yup |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:53:52 AM EDT
[#35]
Odds are they are dems.
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FL, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:57:39 AM EDT
[#36]
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:57:43 AM EDT
[#37]
I also give them a "you're welcome!" Rude people should be called out and shamed.
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:58:20 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Boingo: @cmxterra Pics of Oscar not loading. You opened the..............door. @boingo Fair is fair  Attached FileThe one one the left. Other one is Oliver |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 7:58:50 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By redfish86: This The lack of appreciation, however, is akin to a name tag which states “Hi, I grew up somewhere other than the South and my momma didn’t teach me manners.” There are the people who are offended by “sir” and “ma’am”. They are also likely to vote for the same policies which ruint their home states. My advice is to keep your distance, they become agitated when cornered. I never knew using “sir” and “maam” was considered offensive to asshole yanks till just this year. I grew up in South Louisiana and it was always considered to be a polite way to address pretty much anyone. WTF. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:00:06 AM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By IT_Cowboy: Some old ppl get a pass from me because I think they are too busy breathing.  Attached File |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:15:37 AM EDT
[#41]
"But I think once you quit hearing "sir" and "ma'am," the rest is soon to foller." - Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, NCFOM
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:18:19 AM EDT
[#42]
Sign o' the times. I notice this over the last couple of years. With young people it is the norm.
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NC, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:19:26 AM EDT
[#43]
I'll have "What is a middle aged white woman?" for $100 Alex.
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:26:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: cyclone]
[#44]
I guess I never really paid any attention to it
I just hold the door and go on. It costs me nothing. There are those that get mad when a waitress calls you " darlin" or " hun" or " sugar"........ |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:54:04 AM EDT
[#45]
This thread is why Southerners look at transplants the way they do.
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OK, USA
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:58:09 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By cmxterra: Yup. Happened this morning at the Vet. Some blue hair old bag. Was coming out with our 68# dog. She had two cats in carriers. I held the door and not so much as a nod. Said 'YOU'RE WELCOME" as I still held the door. She just looked at me like I was wearing a MAGA hat. Crazy cat lady. I'm usually holding a toddler or pushing a stroller and holding the door, and a grown ass "man" will walk through without a word. So I talk loud enough with him about manners that they can hear. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:58:36 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By cyclone: I guess I never really paid any attention to it I just hold the door and go on. It costs me nothing. There are those that get mad when a waitress calls you " darlin" or " hun" or " sugar"........ I don't get mad at the waitress thing, it's just odd to me. But, best I can tell it's just a personal habit they picked up somewhere along the line. Down here, my wife often gets called "mamacita" at the mexican food places. Nevermind she has blue eyes and is taller than them. 
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Posted: 5/14/2024 8:58:43 AM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Grunteled: You don't do it to get thank you's. You do it because its a civil and polite thing to do. I appreciate when people do say thanks, but my opening the door doesn't confer an obligation on their part to thank me. Again, that would be the polite response but I'm not going to get bent out of shape that they don't. I don't think OP was doing it for the thank you's either... it's just he recognizes the lack of a thank you as a slight, because it is one. I'd rather you call me an asshole than not acknowledge when I do something for you. |
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Posted: 5/14/2024 9:00:59 AM EDT
[#49]
We don’t have those people here.
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Posted: 5/14/2024 9:03:03 AM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TEXASROOTERSBROTHER: Nothing is hard about it, but they did not ask for you to help them. Don't do it and everything will be ok. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TEXASROOTERSBROTHER: Originally Posted By flippflopped: WTH is wrong with them? They just walk by like you were supposed to hold the door for them. It pisses me off. What so hard about saying “thank you”? Nothing is hard about it, but they did not ask for you to help them. Don't do it and everything will be ok. This is how civility died Some of us want better A few like you don't care |
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