Ended a career before it started .

First off i know im an idiot you don't need to tell me .

Last wednesday i went out and had to much to drink . Came home got into a fight with my sister and brother and the cops came . Long story short i got a domestic vandalism and domestic disorderly . I just enlisted in the army and ive talked to command and they say i need the charges dismissed or i can kiss my contract good bye . My family does not want to press charges , thought the state is moving forward . The only evidence they have is the statements giving that night of my family members . Since the arraignment i went to an outpatient alcohol abuse program and set up a " recovery plan ". I have a DUI two years ago and a disorderly conduct 6 months before the DUI . Hopefully i can get these charges dismissed . Can anyone offer any meaning full advice ? Any RI lawyers here want to help ?

Maybe the military is not for you?

Stay off the booze, you are obviously not mature enough for it.

Thats my advice.

/thread

O im sorry i forgot you were perfect .

One of the most important things in life is to learn from your mistakes and never repeat them.

Yeah you screwed the pooch, own it and move on.

I learned a good lesson from the DUI . I dont even drive after 1 beer now . The year i got my DUI and Disorderly i lost my Grandparents and father in the same year . I was a little pissed off at the world and drinking heavily .This last year id hardly drank twice a month . Things just escalated the other night and for the worst . If you think i shouldn't be in the military that is your opinion but i disagree . Im a father and husband now , i worked hard for 8 plus months for my military contract and almost everything ive done since then is to prepare for it .

You are delusional if you truly believe you have learned anything.

Your posts here are proof.

The Military doesn't need another fuckup.

There are enough alcoholics in the military now. They do not need any more.

Deferred prosecution are the norm for events like that in some states. Call the prosecutor or visit their office.

Tell them what you want to do and ask for a deferred setup. Wasn't so long ago people went into the military to avoid being prosecuted on a fairly regular basis.

And quit fucking drinking and making excuses.

This is not going the way you expected is it.

Negative, deferred charges don't mean jack to MEPS. It's read as an open law violation.

You've been given great advice and dissed those who did so.

Your response was immature and indicative of someone who needs to STFU and start listening.

You already have a DUI and a Dis Con? Geez Well good luck, hire an attorney. It doesn't matter what your family wants, they gave statements and can be subpoenaed and bullied into testifying. Time to write a lawyer a check and hope for the best.

The history you already have with alcohol and a propensity to violence or poor choices when imbibing is likely to not be conducive to a Mil career. And you'll have no second chance IF they let you in and you screw up one time.

You're a problem to your community. That's why the state is proceeding. The military is highly selective right now and neither wants or needs habitual offenders.

Pretty much this. The military is much more selective now that downsizing is going on. OP, you might want to take a step back and get a handle on life. The Army needs professionals, not drunks.

I agree. Your prior history of drinking and belligerence tells me you have some personal issues that you need to address. Making excuses won't help you get there; being honest with yourself and coming to terms with things will.

This is what my brother did and the Navy straightened him right out.

Maybe you should be a roofer, I'd say 80% of the roofers I've known have been alcoholics.

I didn't think 2 times a month or so makes me a drunk . I will admit i like to have a good time and 99.9 % of the time i keep my composure just fine . Seems like your all judging me on the bad things ive done so let me tell you all some little things im proud of . Might not be much but its prob more than most I'm proud of My college degree , my relationship with my wife , the work i've done in my current career , and awards . I would disagree with the comment about me being a destructive member of my community . I'm from a very small state and am more respected by my peers and colleges then not .I bend over backwards to help anyone . Do i like to "fuck off " on this website and mess around ? Sure . Do i worry about my grammar or how i look on ARF ? no , maybe i should if i want to be taken seriously some times . Point taken , thanks for all the responses

In 2.5 years you've had three incidents that were alcohol related, most people have one at the most in their entire lifetime. [if that] To the Military, this raises a huge flag that their investment in you will not be returned. Nowadays, one alcohol related incident can change the path your life can take.

Nobody gives a rat's ass about the 99.9%, it's what you do during the other 0.1% that makes you a fuckup.

You make a good point . So i should quit now ? Stop trying to better myself because i've narrowed my window of opportunity ? I guess i should either try like hell to make up lost ground or go to the welfare and food stamps office .

You make a good point . So i should quit now ? Stop trying to better myself because i've narrowed my window of opportunity ? I guess i should either try like hell to make up lost ground or go to the welfare and food stamps office .

I welcome constructive criticism but not bashing .

What you should do is make the last incident you had, the last one you will ever have. How you choose to do that is up to you. As others have said, since the Mil is reducing it's numbers, it can afford to be very picky and only take the best candidates. It's up to you to become what they are looking for.

Before you are either of these you need to stop being a drunk.

what i should have said is a i learned a lesson with the DUI just not the right one . while not drinking and driving is great i should have stopped drinking altogether . Which started last wensday . I admitted openly i have a problem with alcohol and im taking corrective action again it . I will become what the mil wants because i dont stop and i dont quit . (well drinking i do ) . Maybe this could be a lesson to others or maybe there smarter than me to begin with . Either way , now im really off to bed .

To put it frankly, you sound like you're an "angry drunk." Ceasing your alcohol consumption will certainly help, and you may have some anger issues you may need to resolve, too. Like the poster a few posts up stated, you need to demonstrate a consistent, trouble-free track record. Continuing to accrue DUIs, DV's and D&D's only demonstrates a history of problems.

Not bashing, dude, just being honest based upon my experience. Good luck.

Military isn't for you. The first time you fuck up with alcohol, your career will be over. With what you explained, it's not a one time "oops" but a demonstrable pattern of misconduct.

Quit drinking alcohol.

Get a lawyer, and go to counseling.

You obviously have some issues, don't take it the wrong way.

And this, stay away from it.

And people who use it (friends that out out drinking all the time).

I'm not but I have never had a DUI or a domestic charge. Matter of fact I have never been charged with anything.
If you ask for advice don't get pissy when you get it.

You should quit the alcohol now. The rest of your rhetorical question is hyperbole.

How do we know this will never happen again?

Regardless of how often you drink, you clearly have a problem with alcohol.

He is correct.

The guy my daughter married is like this, he may only get drunk 3 times a year but when he does it's not good. We called the police on him the last time. Our daughter had us come get our 22mo old grandson out of the house as he was violent and had already damaged 2 doors in their house. Daughter told him the next time he drank he was history. Some people just shouldn't drink at all, he is one of them and it may be the same for you.

Here's the deal.

I am 44 years old and I have never worn handcuffs. Been around the block more than my fair share, but held it together to avoid LEO interaction in my youth.

You have a DUI and a DP charge? That should have been the wake up call. But it wasn't. I am sorry, but these are facts as you portray them.

Some people are resistant to change and continue to make mistakes like these throughout their lives.

An attorney may be able to help with the legal issues, but unless you are committed to changing your behavior/who you hang with/what you do when you hang with those you do hang with/take FULL responsibility you will continue to make poor decisions every few months/years and you will be back posting how LEOs all suck because you continue to get popped for DUI or assault charges...

This type of behavior and experience simply CANNOT be acceptible for you or you will do it again. You need to get angry at yourself for making poor decisions and PROMISE yourself to not go down this road again.

I wish you the BEST of luck, honestly.

Cheers,

easysizonezero.

PS. I have been in LE for 17 years now and have had this same conversation with a few "frequent fliers" who routinely come through our PD for similar charges. The VAST majority continue until they are too old to continue this behavior. a FEW wise up and I never see them again...which is what I hope happens to you. It ain't that I am smart. I've just seen it over and over again....

Slow learner.

You have now had three bites of the apple.

Time to clean up your act.

This.

That's part of your problem.

Spelling and grammar matter.
/constructive criticism

Oh and do those domestic charges bar you from possessing firearms based on the Lautenberg amendment? If so, you won't ever make it into the military.

Good point. Even a misdemeanor DV conviction = no guns for you.

DUI can have that effect in some states too. Well, at least one that I know of. Another reason not to do it.

OP: It sounds like you should avoid alcohol before it destroys your life.

Just an update , started an Intensive out patient alcohol program today . 3 hours a day 3 days a week . Made me realize some stuff tonight .

OP, we all understand you're in a tough place, but look, you've got a DUI and a DC before that (no mention whether alcohol was involved in the DC?). It seems to be apparent that you might have a self control problem and/or an alcohol problem. The .mil doesn't want unstable alcoholics in the service. It's not fair to you and it sure isn't fair for the fellow servicemen.

So yeah, maybe the military isn't for you.

Glad to hear it, but this is only the beginning. You don't get points until the end. Keep that in mind.

OP, it sounds like the military isn't for you right now. The best predictor of future behavior, is past behavior. And your past behavior - including recent past behavior - will ring all kinds of alarm bells with the military.

Given your history and in particular this latest event, I can't envision a scenario where the military will be likely to accept you at this point. You'll want to talk to a lawyer and your recruiter, to see if there's any possible chance you can proceed with your military plans. But given the info you've shared here, I suspect you'll be a no-go as far as the military is concerned. There are simply too many other qualified candidates right now, such that the military doesn't have to dredge the bottom of the recruiting barrel. Which is precisely where you have put yourself.

I have to agree with others...the fact that you worked hard for eight months to get into the military, yet still managed to fuck it up, tells me that you need to work on other issues with your life before even considering the military. You are a husband and a father, and your family deserves much better than you're giving them. You had best have a serious "come to Jesus" meeting with yourself, because the choices you're making are not conducive to a productive existence. Frankly, it's incredibly selfish to have blown this opportunity when you have two other mouths to feed. That portends a lack of maturity that today's military just can't afford to indulge.

Best of luck. Hopefully you'll get your shit together sooner rather than later.

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