Originally Posted By USMS2011:
Ladies of Arfcom, I beseech you're thoughts and opinions...

So my ex-fiancee left me right before Christmas. We had been dating most of college for about 2.5 years. The girl had many flaws but, for the most part, I accepted them and loved her that much more. While, in hindsight, I realize I just over-rationalized some serious personal issues she had, I now am probably overly cautious. I took some serious damage from that relationship. It is no fun to have to return an engagement ring. We were financially dependent on each other (after probably a year of me avoiding that, she talked me into it since we were going to be engaged 'soon'.), I really distanced myself from some of my close female friends (they were all VERY pretty and had an extensive history with me) out of respect for her, and I just kinda adjusted my life to her. I was around people she liked and I put up with. I ate food she liked and I could digest. We had sex the way she like it, when she liked it, and I had to be happy for it.

Looking back on it, I thought I was just making compromises and growing up. You know, not getting what I want, when I want. I knew there was something lacking, a part of my identity. But I met her after a traumatic event dealing with a girl I randomly hooked up with. I figured I needed to change my ways. Ultimately, I changed myself. And as my closest friends that lived out of town during all this mentioned, not for the better. I was confident, smart, and a nice guy... but now I was kind of a push over. If "Laura" wanted me to do it, I ended up doing it. But one day, as Laura and I are leaving a place, she walks out with a friend, crying. I am very concerned and then she tells me that "it isn't working out... I can't be in a relationship now... we fight too much". I'm perplexed. We had been discussing, excitedly, wedding plans the day before. We had sex two nights before. I'm not much of a fighter when it comes to relationships. A characteristic that has always made her mad. She'd gets mad about something, say something pretty hurtful/immature and I'd want to tear into her verbally... but I stop... compose... and in a not-raised voice respond with thoughtful words. She always wanted me to shout, yell, and show 'emotion,' to which I respond "nothing that I would say would be constructive. At that point, I revert to caveman tactics. I want to scream cuss words and things that are meant to hurt you the worse possible way I can. Instead, I choose to be responsible for stuff that I say and respond with something that will lead towards a resolution of the argument. Call me crazy...). But regardless, we hadn't fought in a long time either, except that I needed to clean my apartment. I walked to my car and all my stuff was packed and in it. This had been planned. 3 weeks later, she introduced her boyfriend to our mutual friends...

So, that long story kinda gives a little insight to my... insecurities? I've been in enough serious relationships (2) to know that I will bounce back and regain confidence, yadda yadda. But here I am. I met a girl at my job that because of some difficulties, she's had to return a few times. During her exams (I'm an eye doctor assistant) we chatted and got know each other a bit. We go to the same college, study the same major, and live in the same city. I actually started flirting a bit and she seemed to flirt back. Whoo hoo! She has to come back the office a week after her first visit. Turns out we work in the same building. So she stopped by and we got to chat a little. We talk mostly about work, coworkers, school, and the town we live in. I even got the courage to approach her at her work (something that is allowed where we work) and I talked to her for a bit. It has been nice to smile this way. It's been a while. I don't want to actively pursue her just yet. Our flirting has been pretty mild. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable either. She's a patient, after all. And I feel like I screwed up today. She came in for her last exam and it turned out, since I flirted so much, I missed an order from the doctor and didn't order some contacts for her to try. It doesn't cost her money, just time. So I approached her after when I had a break and fessed up. I told her it was my fault she had to come back again and that I was sorry. She was cool with it and we chatted. At this point I revert to stories I've told 100 times, usually to girls I'm nervous about flirting with. Next thing I know, I've talked to her for half an hour while she's at work. I felt like I talked her to death when she might not be interested in me to begin with. I felt like a moron. A moron who couldn't shut up. Once again, I hate having to assume or disguise stuff when it is simple enough to just talk about. I got off work and approached her one more time. She picked up a phone and acted like she was on it. I then said "Hey... I just wanted to say something..." She was looking across the store. She looked at me, smiled, and said "oh, sorry... I just got in trouble and had to look like I was doing something... whats up?" I then said: "Yeah, I normally don't talk to patients outside of the office and didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable..." She looked puzzled. "I have just enjoyed talking to you and realized just second ago you might not be comfortable or interested in talking to me... I'm sorry if that is what happened." She then told me that she didn't find it uncomfortable, we work at the same place so she doesn't feel like I'm a medical provider, more like a coworker. She said she enjoyed talking. I kinda made a hasty retreat and now I sit here wondering what to do.

I don't know. What should I do next?

Sorry that is so lengthy... I've been drinking some and like I said... I talk way too much.

tl:dr Just read the last paragraph.

Thanks, ladies.

Originally Posted By USMS2011:
Well she got in trouble for doing something else, I didn't ask, but talking to me wasn't why. None the less, I'm going to quit bugging her at work. I also figure I'll hold off from asking her on a date until after we finish her exams. We just text back and forth instead.

But thanks. Different perspectives give me piece of mind.

Originally Posted By USMS2011:
Thanks. I kinda gave up on the girl. She didn't seem interested anymore, so whatev. I wasn't holding my breath.