DARN GEESE

I have the solution. I have thought long and hard. I put in countless seconds of research. The cure for all the "domestic" geese is at hand. You know all about them. You have seen them everywhere. I do not refer to those beautiful migratory wonders we call the Canadian Goose. Those birds are amazing and should be revered. I refer to those giant Pigeons, those thirty pound flying rats that haunt our parks, golf courses and backyards. Those geese that have stupid built into their DNA. They fear nothing now, but that will soon change. I propose a one day hunting season in all our public places. No kids allowed. I propose... SWORD HUNTING SEASON. Those fat birds will not know what hit them. They are so fat and lazy; spoiled from a lack of a predator, they need to be thinned out. I would pay HUNDREDS of dollars to participate in the neck slashing fun of bird whacking. I bet anyone could walk onto a golf course with a nice Katana on a humid July morning and nab themselves 240 pounds of yummy goose. I bet those course managers would give away a free round bounty for each head of black and white filth that rolls on the fairway. It is the natural way. Mother nature has quelled the weak from the heard for years. I might even propose that Greenpeace give me an award for finding a way to save the integrity of the species. I await their reply.

Interesting.

I am tempted to take my bow to the mall parking lot. Golf courses however are full of pesticides, so I am not sure if I would eat the birds that hang there.

Is it legal to hunt with a sword. My migratory water fowl abstract says legal to take with shotgun or bow. Doesn't say anything about a sword. Rules say no releasing an arrow or shooting a gun within 150 of a public way or 500 feet of an occupied dwelling without permission on the land of another. Again, nothing about swords. Might be an easy way to get some meat. I;ll let you know if I get arrested or not.

interesting question. I don't see why not.

Where do I get a sword?

Af......whack!

This proposal receives my stamp of approval.

I'd love to get in on a season like that! I've had problems over the last couple years with geese hanging out on my patio and shitting all over the place on it. After some experimentation I've found a decent solution, a laser pointer! No joke, you hit em in the eyes with it and they freak out big time.

Found out about it totally by accident too; stupid geese were walking up to my patio like they owned it as usual and I was sitting on the couch with my j-frame with laser grips and wishing I could put some rounds into those stupid birds, so I get my aim on and hit them with the laser and it took no more than a few seconds for them to bug out and leave me alone for the rest of the day. Totally thought it was a fluke till I tried it a second time and it worked again, that time, I got them with the laser about 25 yards out and they still freaked out and left.

They haven't been back to crap all over my patio since last fall and I have the laser ready to chase them away again if need be.

I've slapped them before. I think you could do it.

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