User Panel
Posted: 2/5/2006 11:59:01 PM EDT
Is it worth it nowadays to start one?
What do you think? |
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what the hell kind of a question is that?
you get dumped or something? all your threads are about women, dating multiple women.... |
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Ask Darwin.
Magwa, a Huron from "Last of the Mohicans" felt to "wipe [an enemy's] seed from the earth" was the ultimate victory. Nearly all the next generation's parents will have thought so... |
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I would say at the least have one, being a dad is a good thing.
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I think that all the materialistic shit I cannot buy because I have to provide for my family flies right out of my mind every morning when I walk in the door and my little girl runs over yelling "DAAAAADDYYYYYY" to give me a hug.
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This man speaks the gospel! You think you know or have everything then you become a dad and everything else in the world means NOTHING. When my wife and I were expecting one of my best friends said to me: "I am gonna give you the BEST advice on being a dad. 'DON'T listen to anyone's advice' because NOTHING is gonna prepare you for what you are about to go through" He was right. there is nothing I can say or do to show you the feeling of being a dad. TRUST me though, when that day arrives, you will understand. Good luck to you! |
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If there is doubt in your mind ....
DON'T DO IT !! It's like nothing else you will do in life . Once it's done it can never be undone . Spouses may come and go , but your kids are yours forever . I don't care what the circumstances are . They are your responsibility till they are old enough to legally deny you the ability . Even then , the person they become is the result of how well you handled that responsibility . |
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Another plus is that your kids get to pick what nursing home you get dumped into, so be good to your kids
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I'm 19 and am pursuing a commission in the USMC. I fear nothing more than not being able to find a good, trustworthy wife that would stick with me. 7 month deployments (the stories I hear), combined with the way most girls are brought up today, really leave me without hope for raising a family.
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This sounds like a question Clean_Cut would ask if he were still here posting a dozen "women - what if" threads in a night.
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Best thing I ever accidentally did.
but not everyone is cut out for it and so if you are unsure, keep your dick in your pants. Nothing worse than a father who does not want to be one, 'cept for a mother who does not want to be one. |
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I agree being a dad is a great thing. But please don't just have one. Have at least two. Gives 'em someone to play, fight, and learn with. Also gives them someone to rely on and trust when they get older. Also the more kids you have the more grand kids you'll likely have. Every only child I've ever met has had issues. YMMV Edited to add: It's really the only thing you'll ever do in your life that will ultimately mean anthing. |
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Pros. Gives your life meaning.
Cons. A meaningless life can be a lot of fun. |
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+1 Funny thing is you have absolutely no idea just how true that is, until you actually have one. |
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Yep. An old adage that has quite a bit of truth to it IMHO is " A Family is a young mans burden but an old mans blessing " Plan ahead and then count your blessings, echo6 |
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Children are a bad economic investment.
Conversation with a coworker: P: You just don't understand. When you look into their eyes and they say "dad", it's just, wow. So worth it." Spade: Yeah. I'll be sure to think of that when I'm on my boat off the Virgin Islands. |
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+100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 to both of you. |
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Make sure to think of that when you become a ward of the state, abused by a nursing home employee. You might be wishing you had kids, who would take care of you in their house, who would come and see you in your final days. |
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That is the worst reason EVER, to have children. State nursing homes are FULL of people who have kids - their kids just don't care. By not having kids, Spade might be able to afford a fancy-shcmany old-age home, with Thai massage girls and vodka-martinis IVs. Not saying that's your reason, but just saying I've heard that one before, and it boggles my mind. |
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Kids give you the highest highs and the lowest lows, in my experience you can't rationalize that with people who haven't experienced parenthood.
I say if someone doesn't want kids...then don't have any! If the world's gonna get more populated, it might as well be my genes, not yours! Boils down to a Darwin thing.... |
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Thats not my reason for wanting to have kids eventually, but I just think of how lonely one would be at the end, if they did not have kids. |
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cons:
very expensive lots of responsibility can become a burden if you dont have a high income high possibility on paying child support / divorce pros: none that I can think of? |
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Then thinking isn't your strongsuit. |
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You know, I have been hearing that tired old "I don't want to bring kids into a world this fucked up" trope since the 70s. Tough shit. This is the world we have. It's a hell of a lot better than the world most kids have been born into in the history of our species.
Up till a couple hundred years ago, a person's life was predestined by the station into which they were born. Now, you can become almost anything you want and even our poor live in conditions the Founding Fathers would have considered luxurious. Grow up. If you don't want a family, it's because you're too selfish to share your life. That's fine...no one's forcing you to do it. But stop acting as if you're some kind of goddamned philosopher king. |
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+1 I hear that quoted more than anything else about reasons to have children. Pretty dumb if you ask me and ultimately a selfish motivation. Have 'em if you want them. I will probably have some eventually but I want to enjoy my life and money before both are devoted to children. |
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$168,000 to raise the average kid to age 18, excluding college. Yeah, they cost alot. I don't have any, we don't want any. But then I have some problems with self esteem, self confidence, and not liking people all that much in general... |
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Sound logic, but keep in mind you don't wake up one day and say "today's the day" and go mount your lady like a spastic monkey. Another factor to weigh in is that past a certain age, you may not WANT to have kids. IE, if you're 35 years old and have a child, YOU'LL BE 53 when the kid graduates high school. I've got one 12 month year old daughter and another kid enroute as we speak, and I'm 31. After it all settles out, my goal of turning 50 with both kids out of high school sounds pretty good. Hopefully my savings will help them through college and I can enjoy the second half of my life with some financial freedom. YMMV. |
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well that's a pretty easy decision then isn't it! |
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all pros
the supposed cons are shortsighted or selfishly motivated But learn how to do it right www.family.org |
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I ain't living that long! Here's to hereditary heart conditions! |
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and your boats will play at your feet when your feet no longer allow you to play. And your boats and cars will stand around your old gray head and tell you they love you as your last breath leaves your ancient body. |
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The high cost of children isn't really financial in my mind ($170k over 18 years isn't all that bad, really) it's the TIME it takes. It's an incredible investment of time, the ultimate non-renewable resource.
I turned 30 last month and see no children on the horizon. My wife is still 28 so I have a few years yet until the pressure mounts. |
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let's add the disclaimer that DK prof doesn't have kids either and has in prior posts argued against having kids. |
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Exactly. That is the primary reason I give people if they ask me why I don't have children. I have looked in the mirror and decided that I am too selfish a person to want children. (The are other, more complex reasons too, but not really relevant here). |
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No, guys in my family buy it around 50 from a massive heart attack. |
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You got that right. What you'll find though, is that there IS no better investment of your time! Range time excluded, obviously! |
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I'm not sure I agee with that characterization - or perhaps I just misunderstood what you are saying. I have personally chosen to not have children, and can articulate my reasons verry clearly - but I am in no way opposed to kids, or to other people having kids. In fact, other people having kids is what lets me "off the hook" and allows me to not have them. Kids are great, and I enjoy them - I just don't want any of my own. Just trying to clarify, not jump on you. |
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they're are a lot o people that have kids that should have never had them in the first place, only have kids if your going to be financially responsible and raise them right.
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that is so very VERY true |
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Perhaps, but I'm a fairly selfish person. Hey, at least I can admit it. |
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Fine with me personally. I've seen kids whose parents waited until they were well-established and didn't have to strain to raise kids. Plus there is a maturity level there that 20 year olds don't have. On the whole they seemed a lot better off than the parents who went into debt and poverty just to have kids. |
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Everyone's different. I couldn't imagine having kids before 28....heck it's a challenge at 31. But I'm glad I'm here now. Again, like I said, you don't and can't understand what I'm saying unless you have a kid or two of your own. But in any case, it's all good. |
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Amen and Goodnight on THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As the mom of 2 boys, Some days...I am STILL not ready. |
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If you have to ask, please don't start a family.
The correct answer is crystal clear when you are ready. You have a lot of growing up to do. (Don't take that as a slam...unless you're 35 ) Good luck. |
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One opinion is:
"You'll know why you want kids when you're ready to have them." and another is: "If you wait until you're ready, you'll never have kids." My head is hurting. |
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Kids suck the money right out of your wallet. The older they get the more $$$$ they require.
But it's worth every cent! |
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Pro: When they grow up, you'll have someone to shoot with....
Con: They will shoot up all your ammo, may even call your gun's there's . They WILL out shoot you in time. If you have to ask. Wear rubbers!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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