This. Means. War. A stinky, stinky war. NEW UPDATE- I HAVE A P.O.W.- PG.5 - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - This. Means. War. A stinky, stinky war. NEW UPDATE- I HAVE A P.O.W.- PG.5 (Page 2 of 3)

Posted: 10/27/2007 9:49:22 PM EDT

[#1]

$10 on the skunk.

Posted: 10/27/2007 10:17:11 PM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
UPTATE 10-29-07

ok, so no luck yet. the only skunk I've seen since the 'incident' was road kill. I was tempted to snatch up the body, bring it home, video myself pissing on it and post it. however, the wife has finally let me sleep in my own bed, and I'm not willing to risk stinking myself up and spending another night on the couch to conduct a psychological warfare campaign that will probably never reach it's target. unless one of you traitorous bastards is leaking information to them.

one side effect of the "incident" seems to be nocturnal paranoia. night terrors, I've heard it called. to put it in perspective, picture a 200 pound, 27 year old man, a decorated veteran with an AR-15, a side arm, and a 120lb dog, screaming like a little girl when the neighbors black and white cat walks around a corner 10 feet from him while he's walking the dog. snuggles was about 1/8 of a trigger pull away from an untimely demise.

anywho, i've set a couple live traps and baited them with tuna, hopefully i'll be reporting on my first kill before long.

I see dead cats in your near future...

Posted: 10/27/2007 10:18:03 PM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
UPTATE 10-29-07

<snip>

one side effect of the "incident" seems to be nocturnal paranoia. night terrors, I've heard it called. to put it in perspective, picture a 200 pound, 27 year old man, a decorated veteran with an AR-15, a side arm, and a 120lb dog, screaming like a little girl when the neighbors black and white cat walks around a corner 10 feet from him while he's walking the dog. snuggles was about 1/8 of a trigger pull away from an untimely demise.

Posted: 10/27/2007 10:36:56 PM EDT

[#4]

This thread is fucking HEROIC!

Posted: 10/27/2007 10:40:41 PM EDT

[#5]

Quoted:

Quoted:
UPTATE 10-29-07

ok, so no luck yet. the only skunk I've seen since the 'incident' was road kill. I was tempted to snatch up the body, bring it home, video myself pissing on it and post it. however, the wife has finally let me sleep in my own bed, and I'm not willing to risk stinking myself up and spending another night on the couch to conduct a psychological warfare campaign that will probably never reach it's target. unless one of you traitorous bastards is leaking information to them.

one side effect of the "incident" seems to be nocturnal paranoia. night terrors, I've heard it called. to put it in perspective, picture a 200 pound, 27 year old man, a decorated veteran with an AR-15, a side arm, and a 120lb dog, screaming like a little girl when the neighbors black and white cat walks around a corner 10 feet from him while he's walking the dog. snuggles was about 1/8 of a trigger pull away from an untimely demise.

anywho, i've set a couple live traps and baited them with tuna, hopefully i'll be reporting on my first kill before long.

I see dead cats in your near future...

Collateral damage is not an issue once Jihad has been declared.

Posted: 10/28/2007 12:07:36 PM EDT

[#6]

How do your co-workers respond to your new aroma?

I remember this kis in highschool got sprayed, he was one of those guys who took a beating even if he did not stink......once he was the smelly kid it was all over, he never lived that down. Poor fella was hospitalized from one of his beatings (no one saw a thing and he was KTFO, did not even know who assaulted him), all because he was stinky.

Posted: 10/28/2007 12:12:59 PM EDT

[#7]

God willing you will destroy the little satans.

Posted: 10/28/2007 12:20:23 PM EDT

[#8]

It took 9 rounds of .22HP to kill a skunk in a trap last winter. After the first round hit, he stood up and sprayed over 20 feet. Came within inches of my wife as she walked around the corner.

We have an awful skunk problem around here...why? Because we literally live IN a pecan orchard. We found out the love areas where there are fruit and nut trees...IE plenty of food. Makes it harder to catch them as they are more likely to just eat the food outside of the trap.

They love to get under the house and spray...last for a good 3-4 days.

I WILL NEVER TURN LOOSE A LIVE SKUNK FROM TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 10/28/2007 12:28:29 PM EDT

[#9]

MrKandiyohi: You said you wanted to get the skunk. Do you really wanna get him? You see what I'm saying is, what are you prepared to do?
Hawken50: Anything within the law.
MrKandiyohi: And *then* what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they're not gonna give up the fight, until one of you is dead.
Hawken50: I want to get the skunk! I don't know how to do it.
MrKandiyohi: You wanna know how to get the skunk? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the ARFCOM way! And that's how you get the skunk. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?
Hawken50: I have sworn to capture this man with all legal powers at my disposal and I will do so.
MrKandiyohi: Well, the Lord hates a coward.
MrKandiyohi: Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Hawken50?
Hawken50: Yes.
MrKandiyohi: Good, 'cause you just took one. Now go and take a bath. You smell like skunk.

Posted: 10/28/2007 12:29:50 PM EDT

[#10]

I'll lay 8 to 5 that all involved die.

Posted: 10/28/2007 12:31:31 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
MrKandiyohi: You said you wanted to get the skunk. Do you really wanna get him? You see what I'm saying is, what are you prepared to do?
Hawken50: Anything within the law.
MrKandiyohi: And *then* what are you prepared to do? If you open the can on these worms you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they're not gonna give up the fight, until one of you is dead.
Hawken50: I want to get the skunk! I don't know how to do it.
MrKandiyohi: You wanna know how to get the skunk? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the ARFCOM way! And that's how you get the skunk. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?
Hawken50: I have sworn to capture this man with all legal powers at my disposal and I will do so.
MrKandiyohi: Well, the Lord hates a coward.
MrKandiyohi: Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Hawken50?
Hawken50: Yes.
MrKandiyohi: Good, 'cause you just took one. Now go and take a bath. You smell like skunk.

Posted: 10/28/2007 1:47:26 PM EDT

[#12]

I predict the battle will rage for years with heavy casualties on all sides. Eventually the skunks will be on the ropes, that's when they'll detonate the nuke they got from the Chechens!

Say goodbye to the neighborhood!

Posted: 10/28/2007 2:11:47 PM EDT

[#13]

double tag!

Posted: 10/28/2007 4:04:42 PM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:

Quoted:
UPTATE 10-29-07

<snip>

one side effect of the "incident" seems to be nocturnal paranoia. night terrors, I've heard it called. to put it in perspective, picture a 200 pound, 27 year old man, a decorated veteran with an AR-15, a side arm, and a 120lb dog, screaming like a little girl when the neighbors black and white cat walks around a corner 10 feet from him while he's walking the dog. snuggles was about 1/8 of a trigger pull away from an untimely demise.

Same here, I almost hurt myself laughing! I can just see the dog and the cat looking at each other, then at Hawken50, wondering what his problem is.

Posted: 10/29/2007 10:51:27 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:

Quoted:
UPTATE 10-29-07

<snip>

one side effect of the "incident" seems to be nocturnal paranoia. night terrors, I've heard it called. to put it in perspective, picture a 200 pound, 27 year old man, a decorated veteran with an AR-15, a side arm, and a 120lb dog, screaming like a little girl when the neighbors black and white cat walks around a corner 10 feet from him while he's walking the dog. snuggles was about 1/8 of a trigger pull away from an untimely demise.

+1

Posted: 10/29/2007 11:29:19 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:

Quoted:
So...Wait.... You put a live skunk IN your car?

I cant believe you didn't get sprayed then....

my best friend's mom used to tame wild ones.

she would pick them up out of their dens in the winter and bring them into her house.

yea... she is crazy,

but she never got sprayed. she must have a gift.

So you are saying she was a skunk whisperer?

Posted: 10/29/2007 11:33:51 AM EDT

[#17]

tag

Posted: 10/29/2007 11:51:12 AM EDT

[#18]

this thread is going to be legendary

Posted: 10/29/2007 12:58:35 PM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
home.mchsi.com/%7Ethe_reaper/Skunk1.jpg

home.mchsi.com/%7Ethe_reaper/Skunk2.jpg

If that fucker is now deceased, click here to claim your free box o ammo!!!

if not, you have given aid and comfort to the enemy. obviously you're not with me, so you must be against me. i would smite you were it not for the harsh penalties.

Posted: 10/29/2007 1:53:44 PM EDT

[#20]

Joker: Ever shoot any female skunks or babies?
Hawken50: Yeah!
Joker: How can you shoot female and baby skunks?
Hawken50: Easy, ya just don't lead em so much!

Bring on the Jihad Brother! Allah Snackbar!

Posted: 10/29/2007 2:20:02 PM EDT

[#21]

Quoted:

Quoted:
home.mchsi.com/%7Ethe_reaper/Skunk1.jpg

home.mchsi.com/%7Ethe_reaper/Skunk2.jpg

If that fucker is now deceased, click here to claim your free box o ammo!!!

if not, you have given aid and comfort to the enemy. obviously you're not with me, so you must be against me. i would smite you were it not for the harsh penalties and the fact that you're four states away.

Fixed it for you.
Oh so tagged for the inevitable carnage and death. I might even get to see a couple dead skunks too.

apparently, you doubt my resolve. one species has already made that mistake. it's a list you don't want to be on.

No, I'm just making fun of you, that's what the

means.

Good luck on your jihad.

Posted: 10/29/2007 2:31:19 PM EDT

[#22]

Jihad....................

I mean TAG.

Posted: 10/29/2007 2:36:16 PM EDT

[#23]

Have you truly tried every avenue available before deciding to kill one of God's creatures.

Ah what the fuck

Kill all of the stinkin bastards!

Posted: 10/29/2007 2:42:07 PM EDT

[#24]

Posted: 10/29/2007 3:25:04 PM EDT

[#25]

At an unnamed federal installation where I happened to work last summer a misguided individual dumped large quanities of dry cat food out for the feral cats. This is quite illegal I might add. As is the nature of the beast, hordes of skunks set up shop for the free meals. It just so happened to be my job to rectify the problem (both the cats and skunks). Preferred method was a .22 cb long out of ASA suppressed Ruger 77/22, although many met their demise via 17 HMR and a couple got the 12 gauge treatment. Body count was in the 20's before the numbers tapered off. If only this contest was held 4 months ago.

Posted: 10/29/2007 5:26:36 PM EDT

[#26]

THE SKUNK JIHAD HAS CLAIMED IT'S FIRST VICTORY!!!!!!

LINK

Posted: 10/29/2007 5:28:46 PM EDT

[#27]

Quoted:
I give your rant a 9 out of 10. Posting pics of weapon and/or skunk would have increased score.

Not enough swearing, but good writting and extra points for link and ammo offer. If you succeed in enlisting others in your Jihad with bloody pics, then the score rises to a 10.
ETA: If PETA tries to stop you or you get media coverage using the word "Hollocaust" this can move to the epic 11 out of 10 score.

I demand your scoring be amended to reflect recent events.

Posted: 10/30/2007 4:43:28 AM EDT

[#28]

This thread made me literally laugh out loud. Hawken, your original post was classic!

It almost makes me wish that I had the ability to smell skunk.

Almost.

From what I understand, it's really not pleasant. I count myself lucky to be among the fraction of the population that cannot smell them though, due to a condition called specific anosmia.

(Before you call BS, see for yourself: Specific anosmia)

Posted: 10/30/2007 5:07:57 AM EDT

[#29]

'sniff sniff'
Is it me or does anyone else smell that?!

Posted: 10/30/2007 5:16:27 AM EDT

[#30]

Just an innocent question, will ups or fedex ship live animals to NY? If so, what say we just start catching and mailing some "packages" to Hawken50? I haven't seen any black and white furry stinkers around here but I can spray paint a few cats and mail them. I'm not saying hes gone off the deep end yet but if we can mail him a few dozen then I think this will push him WAY over and he might even make FOX news or something.

Skunks are people too!!! Long live the Skunk!!!

Posted: 10/30/2007 5:34:57 AM EDT

[#31]

Im predicting a long drawn out war with victory eventually going to the skunks; and Hawken50 eventually going bankrupt due to the cost of the war.

Posted: 10/30/2007 5:50:37 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
This thread made me literally laugh out loud. Hawken, your original post was classic!

It almost makes me wish that I had the ability to smell skunk.

Almost.

From what I understand, it's really not pleasant. I count myself lucky to be among the fraction of the population that cannot smell them though, due to a condition called specific anosmia.

(Before you call BS, see for yourself: Specific anosmia)

I can't smell either.

Posted: 10/30/2007 8:33:34 AM EDT

[#33]

Hawken50, if it will make you feel any better, I've probably shot more skunks than you have seen. We had a major population explosion of skunks and possums for two or three years back in the mid 80's. I was shooting one or two a night off the porch for a WHILE.

All but two were shot with a .22 revolver and not one single skunk ever sprayed after being shot!

What were all these skunks doing on my porch you might ask? My wife fed the cats on the porch and skunks, possums and coons LOVE cheap Walmart cat food. Thats all you need for bait, a small bag of Walmart cat food.

Posted: 10/30/2007 9:27:33 AM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
Don't be vengeful. Be thankful.

"Dear Lord, I am thankful that, in Your infinite wisdom, You did not choose to make skunks the size of horses."

Posted: 10/30/2007 11:27:18 AM EDT

[#35]

Quoted:

Quoted:
This thread made me literally laugh out loud. Hawken, your original post was classic!

It almost makes me wish that I had the ability to smell skunk.

Almost.

From what I understand, it's really not pleasant. I count myself lucky to be among the fraction of the population that cannot smell them though, due to a condition called specific anosmia.

(Before you call BS, see for yourself: Specific anosmia)

I can't smell either.

i wonder then if you'd be immune to the other effects of being sprayed directly. specifically, severe headache, blurred vision, nausea, burning sensation, and, worst of all, lack of sex for as long as it takes you to rid yourself of that awful odor. although my wife said it was gone about 24 hours later, i still smell it everywhere.

if you are in fact immune I may have to kidnap you and brainwash you in my basement to create a new breed of super soldiers. I'm thinking I'll subliminally convince you skunks killed a beloved pet, or maybe your parents, I haven't decide which yet.
so are you immune to all the effects?

Posted: 10/30/2007 12:40:31 PM EDT

[#36]

Quoted:

Quoted:
This thread made me literally laugh out loud. Hawken, your original post was classic!

It almost makes me wish that I had the ability to smell skunk.

Almost.

From what I understand, it's really not pleasant. I count myself lucky to be among the fraction of the population that cannot smell them though, due to a condition called specific anosmia.

(Before you call BS, see for yourself: Specific anosmia)

I can't smell either.

You can't smell anything, or just can't smell skunk? It is only skunk that I can't smell.

Posted: 10/30/2007 12:48:02 PM EDT

[#37]

Quoted:

Quoted:
This thread made me literally laugh out loud. Hawken, your original post was classic!

It almost makes me wish that I had the ability to smell skunk.

Almost.

From what I understand, it's really not pleasant. I count myself lucky to be among the fraction of the population that cannot smell them though, due to a condition called specific anosmia.

(Before you call BS, see for yourself: Specific anosmia)

I can't smell either.

i wonder then if you'd be immune to the other effects of being sprayed directly. specifically, severe headache, blurred vision, nausea, burning sensation, and, worst of all, lack of sex for as long as it takes you to rid yourself of that awful odor. although my wife said it was gone about 24 hours later, i still smell it everywhere.

if you are in fact immune I may have to kidnap you and brainwash you in my basement to create a new breed of super soldiers. I'm thinking I'll subliminally convince you skunks killed a beloved pet, or maybe your parents, I haven't decide which yet.
so are you immune to all the effects?

Well, my father thought it was "funny" once to rub his hands all over the neighbor's dog (which had just gotten sprayed) and shove his hands in my face when I walked outside.

I had no idea was he was doing and looked at him like he was insane. He seemed a little shocked that I couldn't smell it.

I had none of the untowards effects that you list above. In fact, the only one that I could foresee being an issue is the lack of sex part, as my partner can smell skunk just fine. A tomato juice bath should take care of that, though.

Posted: 10/30/2007 1:20:09 PM EDT

[#38]

Quoted:

Quoted:
This thread made me literally laugh out loud. Hawken, your original post was classic!

It almost makes me wish that I had the ability to smell skunk.

Almost.

From what I understand, it's really not pleasant. I count myself lucky to be among the fraction of the population that cannot smell them though, due to a condition called specific anosmia.

(Before you call BS, see for yourself: Specific anosmia)

I can't smell either.

i wonder then if you'd be immune to the other effects of being sprayed directly. specifically, severe headache, blurred vision, nausea, burning sensation, and, worst of all, lack of sex for as long as it takes you to rid yourself of that awful odor. although my wife said it was gone about 24 hours later, i still smell it everywhere.

if you are in fact immune I may have to kidnap you and brainwash you in my basement to create a new breed of super soldiers. I'm thinking I'll subliminally convince you skunks killed a beloved pet, or maybe your parents, I haven't decide which yet.
so are you immune to all the effects?

Don't know. I've only been around two skunks in the last 30 years, both were shot by me, both died right there, never smelled anything although the people I was with were nauseated.

My wife can smell ants in the house.

Posted: 10/30/2007 1:39:34 PM EDT

[#39]

Cool! I can smell fire ants. I don't tell too many folks that because they look at me funny. Tell her we should start a club or something.

Posted: 10/30/2007 3:57:17 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
Cool! I can smell fire ants. I don't tell too many folks that because they look at me funny. Tell her we should start a club or something.

Fascinating. Can you describe the smell? Does it work only when there are a lot of them, or can you smell just one or two also?

Posted: 11/2/2007 11:33:54 AM EDT

[#41]

Quoted:

Quoted:
anywho, i've set a couple live traps and baited them with tuna, hopefully i'll be reporting on my first kill before long.

I see dead cats in your near future...

Arfcom, meet Snuggles. Snuggles, Arfcom.

He obviously knows more than he's letting on. So what do you guys recommend? Waterboarding? Sleep deprivation? Force feed him used motor oil? Come on people, there's no such thing as a bad idea.

Posted: 11/2/2007 11:38:02 AM EDT

[#42]

Spray paint a white stripe down it's back and tie him down in an open area.Skunk Decoy!

Posted: 11/2/2007 11:41:52 AM EDT

[#43]

Snuggles: "Geez Hawken50, first you scream like a little girl when you see me out for a walk, then you stick this cage where I can't help but walk into it. There something wrong with you boy...."

Posted: 11/2/2007 11:45:46 AM EDT

[#44]

Quoted:
Snuggles: "Geez Hawken50, first you scream like a little girl when you see me out for a walk, then you stick this cage where I can't help but walk into it. There something wrong with you boy...."

Posted: 11/2/2007 11:54:42 AM EDT

[#45]

Reminds me of the time that a huge amount of skunks decided to declare a jihad of their own....apparently against vehicle traffic on a country back road near where I was living at the time. They did their damnedest, I'm sure, but even 15 skunks at a time can't take out a Ford F350 @ 30MPH.

At least, that's what it looked like...this one 2ish-mile stretch of road must have literally had two dozen skunks corpses strewn around in various states of decay in a 2-3 week period a few years ago in early spring. They must have been young-ins, but it was still crazy how many dead freaking skunks there were.

Posted: 11/2/2007 11:58:55 AM EDT

[#46]

Quoted:

Quoted:
anywho, i've set a couple live traps and baited them with tuna, hopefully i'll be reporting on my first kill before long.

I see dead cats in your near future...

i164.photobucket.com/albums/u29/hawken50/110107_2331a.jpg
Arfcom, meet Snuggles. Snuggles, Arfcom.

He obviously knows more than he's letting on. So what do you guys recommend? Waterboarding? Sleep deprivation? Force feed him used motor oil? Come on people, there's no such thing as a bad idea.

I'm thinking some Mengele type experimentation. Let's solve the "birdshot is for birds only" debate now.

Posted: 11/2/2007 12:42:02 PM EDT

[#47]

*pictorial rendition of hawken's kitty conversation*

Posted: 11/2/2007 2:07:33 PM EDT

[#48]

i find the above post unsettling. i can't quite put my finger on why, it just disturbs me.

Posted: 11/2/2007 3:20:28 PM EDT

[#49]

Hey Hawken50, I think I have some intel that you should be aware of!

I work on Ft. Hood. In the past few days while patroling around at night in the area around 1st Cav Div I've started to notice more and more skunks running around. I've seen skunks around Hood before but I'm talking maybe a four or five fold increase. One by the map warehouse on 72nd St! Three at a time entering a Motorpool off of Hell on Wheels Ave that contains M1's and M2's! A couple a night out at the Battle Sim Center that houses AFV training simulators!! Several more in the general vicinity of the Ammunition Holding Area and skulking about several satellite communications facilities!!! Putting this all together I'd say you've pissed off the wrong skunks and your personal war is about to be elevated to a new level!!!

Hopefully this intel will assist you in your upcoming battle. I hope you have a shitpot of AT4's in your ammo fort. How far away is Ft. Drum BTW?

ETA: Be aware that they might send in Skunk Team Six to effect a hostage rescue!

Posted: 11/2/2007 5:13:18 PM EDT

[#50]

Thanks for the laugh Hawken50.

I was sweeping out the garage once and a pile if paper bags of nails under a shelf rustled. Having a lot of possums around, I took the broom handle and moved the bags aside to give it an escape route. Much to my surprise there was a skunk ass looking at me with a quivering tale above it. I set a State record in the 40 yd. dash, threw down the broom and went inside to watch the tube. I don't know how long they do the tail quiverin' warning, but .2 seconds was all I needed to haul ass!

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - This. Means. War. A stinky, stinky war. NEW UPDATE- I HAVE A P.O.W.- PG.5 (Page 2 of 3)

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