Originally Posted By Vote4Cthulhu:
There are some very good pieces of advice in this thread about behavior not to engage in if you must drink, and about who/when/how it's appropriate to vent about your spouse if you need to. These pieces of advice are ostensibly being ignored by OP.

Originally Posted By JohnnyLoco:


Who knows, hard to tell from an online forum. Either she’s crazy like many women and vindictive, punishing, emotionally withholding etc. or maybe, just maybe you’re overly negative and overbearing with her  and you just don’t notice (understandable given your profession).

All I can say is with women, even the worst batshit crazy, bp ones upbeat positivity, compliments, encouragement and positive reinforcement (even when you’re lying through your teeth), affection and humor goes a long way. She obviously is over sensitive so take a don’t give a shit, nonchalant attitude with her (even if you’re freaking out inside), then quietly fix the damage or make preparations on the side. This also helps when they try to bait you, just don’t show your cards, stay calm and cool.

Women aren’t like men, we can handle being yelled at and berated, thrive under negativity, etc.

She just retorts, "Look at the profile pic, she seems normal!"

Am I the bad guy? Venting about wife stupidity.

Originally Posted By King-Of-Town:



My woman does this shit. I say my piece--- I don't give a fuck.  Some people are right, some people are wrong.  Your wife is wrong.  Give no quarter.   If your kid was talking to strangers, or playing with matches, and your corrected him, and het got made at you, how would you looking at it?

Don't take advice from weak men her either.


She pulls this shit because she doesn't respect you.  You can work towards making it better or you can make it worse.  The safety of your family and home is more important than her feelings.  This is a byproduct of 2024 , feminism and the breakdown of male leadership of the home.

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:
Last weekend we were handing out with my parents about 2 hrs away. We're having a good time, I've had a few drinks, hanging out. My wife announced that she thought the person she was texting on marketplace might be a scammer. They said they sent the money for the workout equipment she was selling, but are now asking for a refund. I look at the texts, and I immediately agree that it's 100% a scammer.

She then told us that she had already given said person our address and told them we were out of town until tomorrow afternoon to arrange the meetup prior to receiving the money.

I flip out a bit. I don't raise my voice, but I'm more than a little angry with her for telling strangers we're out of town and giving them our address. I then look at our driveway/garage security camera and realize I forgot to charge it (it's at 1% battery.) This is my fault, but it fuels my unease more than a bit. I can't just drive home as I had been drinking, plus it's 11:30 at night. I think about the fact a house not far from ours got hit and cleaned out due to a social media post last year.

So I give my wife a bit of the riot act. Again, not to the point of losing my mind or raising my voice, but like "Seriously, did you think about the fact you don't know this person before telling them that!?" She just retorts, "Look at the profile pic, she seems normal!" This conversation lasts about 10 minutes. It was nothing crazy, I've had worse come to Jesus' from elementary school teachers.

Instead of just apologizing for her mistake, my wife doesn't take any responsibility for it and storms off to bed. So I vent a bit to my mom for about 20 minutes about my wife's lack of situational awareness and common sense at times, in reality I'm probably more pissed at myself for not charging the camera more than anything.  

I then get a text from the wife. "I hear everything you are saying, it's gonna take a long time to forgive you for this!"



Now I'm the bad guy. My wife has been seeing a therapist for depression/anxiety and some childhood trauma. I think that's great. The downside is, because of this she now seems to fancy herself a mental health expert. She claims that I need therapy and it wasn't normal to be angry over that, etc etc.

I apologized for probably overreacting. Thankfully, we got home and all was well and now I seem like an asshole. But it was still really dumb on her part. Somehow, it's now my fault and I'm the one who has problems.

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:


Yup it was dumb, I'll take that.

In reality, it was like the perfect storm of dumb shit. Me being several drinks deep when the idiocy was revealed, me forgetting to charge the camera after I had been out of town for six weeks for work, and my wife finding scammers on marketplace, plus giving them our address and that we weren't home.

Had just one of those things not happened, I'd still be Mr. Model husband.

Originally Posted By tornadochaser:
She screwed up and you screwed up.

OP, maybe you're like me; you 100% know that you didn't raise your voice or belittle your wife in any way even though you had "a few" drinks.  You weren't overreacting, and your wife really needs to take this serious.
If your wife is like mine, she 100% noticed you raised your voice, belittled her, and acted as if she didn't understand what you were saying, even though you kept going on and on and she got the point some time ago.

It's an eye opener when you get recorded and the things you know you didn't do are right there in plain sight.  After my wife showed me video of a few of our discussions and arguments, I better understood her feelings and reactions.

Food for thought.

Originally Posted By zeekh:
She is a woman. My wife rarely (never) admits she's wrong. Its doesnt mean she thinks shes  never wrong, she just wont admit it. Nor does she apologize.  Frustrating sometimes.

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:


Wife, mom and I are all hanging out after dinner, having a few drinks and enjoying ourselves at around 1030 pm. We’re probably about to all go to bed anyway. That’s when my wife made the announcement that she almost got scammed and gave our address to strangers and let them know we weren’t home. I tell her how dumb that was, and that I’m doubly worried because I forgot to charge the security camera and it’s about to die.

Wife storms off, I’m still pretty mad/worried and vent to mom for a bit who was there for the whole thing. It wasn’t like my mom didn’t know what happened already.

What I’ve learned about this whole thread is that it’s better to just bottle up that anger and let it build into deep seated resentment.

Originally Posted By FGracing:
Women tend to not accept responsibility or apologize when they know they are wrong. It’s easier to twist around reality and deflect until they find a way to place the blame at your feet.

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:


Yeah, I tried to apologize after I realized she was in earshot. That didn’t go well.

She seemed over it the next morning. This all happened last weekend and tonight I came home to pissy wife… “What do you think I’m angry about!?”

Fucking Christ… I apologized. Either get over it or don’t. That’s her choice, I can’t take it back unfortunately.

Yup I was out of line venting to mom. I’ll own it, I just wish she’d own her part.

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:


Yeah trust me.

I had been out of town for six weeks and just got home. Those batteries last a loooong time but I just forgot to do it before we left. I remembered I meant to do it as we were driving to my parents place the day before but figured it was gonna be fine, “What are the chances?”

I swear this whole thing was just the perfect storm of shit. The holes in the Swiss cheese lined up perfectly.


-My wife found scammers
-We happened to be going out of town that weekend
-The conversation happens at 11pm the one night I’ve had a few drinks and I handle it more poorly than I otherwise would've (I probably wouldn’t have been dumb enough to vent to mom if not.)
-My wife tells these people we are out of town instead of just saying we weren’t available
-My wife gives these people our address before receiving payment.
-I forget to charge the security camera which fuels my worry/anger
-My wife overhears me vent

I’ll own my portion of it, which was staying up and venting, but still, sometimes I have to marvel at my lack of luck.

Originally Posted By ManMan:


No, FUCK that ..out of the entire fucking universe, if it's not OK to talk with your mom then who the fuck are you supposed to be able to talk with?

Should it have been within earshot of your wife?  Maybe not, but again .. your wife and parents you should be able to talk about anything you want

....I then get a text from the wife. "I hear everything you are saying, it's gonna take a long time to forgive you for this!"....

Originally Posted By BuckeyeRifleman:


Yup, dump in hindsight.

I was stressed. I wanted to vent said stress. I did. I feel like that's a pretty normal response... Saying I "need therapy" for doing so seems like a lot of projection.

Originally Posted By Ridgerunner9876:

LOL. Yes, it sure as fuck is.

Ever see stories on how often people's houses get burglarized when they're at a funeral. Know why? Because it's advertised in the paper that their relative died and when the funeral is.