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Posted: 4/19/2024 11:42:11 PM EDT
[#1]
IBTL
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AZ, USA
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Posted: 4/19/2024 11:43:31 PM EDT
[#2]
Read the original Ben Franklin quote about windows
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Posted: 4/19/2024 11:56:33 PM EDT
[#3]
so many non-legal ideas in my head right now
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USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:07:05 AM EDT
[#4]
Sign him up for subscriptions to gay porn magazines. Use the wrong house number on a couple of the mailing addresses.
Place Craigslist ads for free large dog crates. Place the ads for areas near military bases, particularly in other time zones, such as Hawaii. Use a burner number and forward all calls to his. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:08:51 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Bubbles: Toilet art on the property line. The only true answer |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:11:00 AM EDT
[#6]
Get a Canadian to move in next to him.
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GA, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:11:37 AM EDT
[#7]
OP doesn't sound like someone I'd want to live next to.
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:12:54 AM EDT
[#8]
Line the property line with wind chimes and windmills out of balance just enough to make racket. A few windmills should squeak . Add several mirrors swinging in the breeze to reflect flashes of light.
Add three peacocks to decorate your yard. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:14:00 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TnMike: I like it. I’ll invite the goat farmer down the road.  He gonna dress a couple up for you? |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:14:02 AM EDT
[Last Edit: kissfan]
[#10]
I'm sure you can find something here . https://shomer-tec.com/pages/all-products
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PA, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:15:20 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TnMike: We live in a subdivision in the county. One neighbor has pool parties for their kids (during the day on weekends) and he’s parked a running lawn mower next to their fence. Calls the sheriff every 4th of July on all the neighbors for littering on his property. Calls the Sheriff for unregistered vehicles terrorizing the neighborhood (golf carts). Standing on his property lines teasing his neighbors dogs. He call the sheriff when one of the neighbors were moving in because they had a vehicle “blocking” a fire hydrant. The list goes on. Why do Canadians litter on July 4th? |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:17:08 AM EDT
[#12]
A friend of mine had a POS neighbor who put up a huge PVC fence between the yard. He decided that it would make a great screen for a digital projector and had Friday night movie nights for about six months straight. He complained, but the fence was on his side of the property line and the town said he could do what he wanted on his his side. So, he had B-Movie movie marathons all night. I think the guy actually ended up moving. Or went to a nursing home. Something like that.
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PA, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:17:09 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Riply21: Fuck his wife This. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:23:59 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TnMike: We live in a subdivision in the county. One neighbor has pool parties for their kids (during the day on weekends) and he’s parked a running lawn mower next to their fence. Calls the sheriff every 4th of July on all the neighbors for littering on his property. Calls the Sheriff for unregistered vehicles terrorizing the neighborhood (golf carts). Standing on his property lines teasing his neighbors dogs. He call the sheriff when one of the neighbors were moving in because they had a vehicle “blocking” a fire hydrant. The list goes on. I wouldn’t be calling, but some of this shit would annoy me. What more do you want? Do you guys clean up the fireworks or leave them in his yard? Do the neighbors dogs piss and crap in his yard or bark a lot? Some people don’t like that. So basically this guy is a dick because he doesn’t like the noise or mess and you want to bug him more |
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FL, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:24:30 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Pallas]
[#15]
My neighbor put out a floor fan on their patio, loudest fucking fan ever, it sounded like I lived in a hanger on a runway. They turn this thing on for no reason, 55deg, fan, etc. they knew it was loud because they turned it off at night, I made polite comments about how loud the thing is.
I started playing the muslim call to prayer on my outdoor speakers, loud… 5x a day. They commented on it, I told them I would keep playing it as long as they kept running the fan…and did they like gospel music? Anyway, they turned the fan down to 25%, I stopped embracing Allah, and everything is good. *You need to understand, we live in a city, on city lots, like 15’ away from each other. They move here from a farm, so they don’t quite get it, you have to be courteous to your neighbors. They would run the yard blower at 6.30am, shit like that. They are learning and they are good folk. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:27:35 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Concentricity: Would you mind sharing some examples of the neighbors behavior? Sets the tone for responses. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:28:15 AM EDT
[Last Edit: Lumpy223]
[#17]
Pull his well cap and vomit down his well after eating a nice big salad. Re-secure well cap when finished. The gift that keeps on giving.
*This is offered in jest and should not be attempted. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:29:17 AM EDT
[#18]
Park a vehicle in front of their house seems to trigger most neighbors
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:30:27 AM EDT
[#19]
List his house for sale for a ridiculous low price with his real cellphone number and say to call anytime 24/7.
(Happened to me 15 years ago when a friend listed a motorcycle for stupid cheap, phone rang 24/7 for a couple of days) |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 12:39:33 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By PikeSlayer: Just keep living next to him, sounds like it's enough already.  
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Posted: 4/20/2024 1:01:04 AM EDT
[#21]
What prize are you hoping to win?
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Posted: 4/20/2024 1:07:27 AM EDT
[#22]
Why dont you do something nice like bake him a bunch of cookies. Then when he invites you in ask to use the toilet and take an upper decker
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Posted: 4/20/2024 1:10:52 AM EDT
[#23]
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Posted: 4/20/2024 1:49:16 AM EDT
[#24]
Fuck his dog.
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Posted: 4/20/2024 1:57:58 AM EDT
[#25]
over water your lawn
Pee near the property line (where someone can't see you) Get a fire pit and have it make a bunch of smoke when they are in there back yard Use your weed eater, lawn mower, or wood working project that requires hammering at 3 or 4am Sign their mailing address up for gay porn or some other awful thing Sprinkle sugar candy (out of the wrapper) in their yard as close to the house as possible so they get ants |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:01:10 AM EDT
[#26]
Originally Posted By TnMike: I have a D-bag neighbor which the entire neighborhood can’t stand. Unfortunately, I share a property line with him. I’m looking for ways to legally (legally grey okay) to annoy the shit out of him. My one neighbor already shipped him a glitter bomb, so that’s probably out now. I thought about tossing a dead animal over the fence and letting the vultures thrive over there, but not sure of the legality of that. One of the other neighbors talked about putting up “for sale by owner” signs , but sounds like it could be trouble. Your thoughts? Play Mexican music. Not too loud but just high enough to erk the shit out of him. When he tells you to turn it down, call him a racist. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:05:52 AM EDT
[#27]
This would make a great parody thread:
We have a D-bag neighbor who thinks everyone likes him, but really everyone is just tolerating him. For some reason he can’t stand his next door neighbor. He’s always talking about ways to pick on one of the neighborhood’s kindest residents, a nice 75-year old gentleman, retired Vietnam veteran who’s always friendly and helps others. Everyone is just hoping things don’t get out of hand and our vengeful resident doesn’t resort to violence, because from the looks of things, the 75-year old could wipe the driveway with him. |
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NY, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:07:27 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TnMike: We live in a subdivision in the county. One neighbor has pool parties for their kids (during the day on weekends) and he’s parked a running lawn mower next to their fence. Calls the sheriff every 4th of July on all the neighbors for littering on his property. Calls the Sheriff for unregistered vehicles terrorizing the neighborhood (golf carts). Standing on his property lines teasing his neighbors dogs. He call the sheriff when one of the neighbors were moving in because they had a vehicle “blocking” a fire hydrant. The list goes on. Why does the 4th of July matter to a Canadian? 
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:10:01 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Mech2007: Why does the 4th of July matter to a Canadian? Cinco de Mayo is coming up….. I ask myself the same question then. |
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NY, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:11:45 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TnMike: I’m actually Saudi, so not ruling out beheading. Oh. In that case, pay a group of guys to fly airplanes into his house. 
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NY, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:13:02 AM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Thrasymachus: Why not have loud gay sex with the blinds open? It hasn't worked for OP so far. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:16:05 AM EDT
[#32]
Anyway, they turned the fan down to 25%, I stopped embracing Allah, and everything is good |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:16:05 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By hhsmiley: Fuck his dog.  Ništa ali logopedi - We are the Serbs (1998 OFFICIAL VIDEO) |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:21:46 AM EDT
[#34]
Want some fire ants?
 J/K
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:23:16 AM EDT
[Last Edit: wyomingnick]
[#35]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By RealityCheck0311: Just seems like you're opening Pandora's Box when you're actively annoying someone that's permanently next to you. I don't know the entire story but why not take the opposite approach, bring over a 6 pack and try to make peace? That Purposely drive your neighbor nuts ? Sounds like a good way to escalate it to life altering consequences. Ever see the show fear thy neighbor ? 
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OH, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:29:35 AM EDT
[#36]
either burn his house down or live your best life. don't let others have power over your life
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USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:40:34 AM EDT
[#37]
Escalation goes both ways op.
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Posted: 4/20/2024 2:51:21 AM EDT
[#38]
Guinnea Fowl, Bamboo, Peacocks, pot belly pigs
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Posted: 4/20/2024 3:09:51 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TnMike: We live in a subdivision in the county. If you lived out in the country you wouldn't even notice your neighbor mowing his lawn while you had a loud party. |
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MO, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 3:27:50 AM EDT
[Last Edit: OscarD]
[#40]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Kingdead: Are you going to wish you spent your time doing stuff that made you happy or spent more time trying to make your neighbor miserable? What if they’re the same thing? Call every contractor inside of 50 miles and ask for estimates (his address) on the same day. Siding, windows, gutters, decks, concrete and so on. Sit back and laugh at the 100 mile long line of trucks on your chosen day. As an added bonus he’ll get 7 lbs of flyers in his daily mail for the rest of his life. |
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MO, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 3:35:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: OscarD]
[#41]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Lumpy223: Pull his well cap and vomit down his well after eating a nice big salad. Re-secure well cap when finished. The gift that keeps on giving. *This is offered in jest and should not be attempted. Locally there was a neighbor dispute where one neighbor dumped a bag of quickrete down the other neighbors sewer clean out. Your post reminded me of that. I’d fucking shoot somebody over either one of those things. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 3:36:55 AM EDT
[Last Edit: MadMonkey]
[#42]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By TnMike: We live in a subdivision in the county. One neighbor has pool parties for their kids (during the day on weekends) and he’s parked a running lawn mower next to their fence. Calls the sheriff every 4th of July on all the neighbors for littering on his property. Calls the Sheriff for unregistered vehicles terrorizing the neighborhood (golf carts). Standing on his property lines teasing his neighbors dogs. He call the sheriff when one of the neighbors were moving in because they had a vehicle “blocking” a fire hydrant. The list goes on. So... a neighbor is annoying you by... ETA : 1,2 Maybe I misunderstood. Are you complaining about a loud pool party, or the guy running a lawn mower on his own property during a loud pool party? 3. Getting annoyed once a year by neighbors leaving party shit in his yard 4. Attempting to stop entitled twats from driving their (presumably) not street legal vehicles around his home where children may be playing 5. Trying to prevent actual dangerous behavior like blocking fire hydrants Yeah. That guy deserves all the hell you can give him 
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Posted: 4/20/2024 3:43:04 AM EDT
[#43]
Isn’t there a TV series dedicated to this topic?
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MO, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 3:50:00 AM EDT
[#44]
If he’s fastidious about lawn care you could fertilize his yard along the property line. Having a patch of grass that grows 3X faster than the rest of his lawn will gradually drive him nuts.
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THA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 4:41:19 AM EDT
[#45]
An ultrasonic sound generator is what you seek.
Worked wonders for me. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: 4/20/2024 5:50:42 AM EDT
[#46]
Post free parrot ad with his phone number and address. Free parrot for pick up, first come first serve. African Grey Parrot. Sit back and watch the stream of people knocking on his front door.
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Posted: 4/20/2024 5:56:35 AM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Riply21: Fuck his wife and their daughters.... Seriously, you want to start a feud with an asshole that lives right next door to you? If you think he's an asshole now, just wait until you are both rolling around in the mud together. There will come a day when the tit for tat gets the better of both of you, then all bets are off. Ignore him, unless he is doing something illegal, then get the law involved. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 6:04:27 AM EDT
[#48]
The #1 reason asshole neighbors are assholes is because they don't give a shit about their neighbors. You're not going to annoy him into giving a shit, and you clearly care more than he does.
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Posted: 4/20/2024 6:42:38 AM EDT
[#49]
Outdoor spotlights somewhat pointed at his house.
I had a similar situation. Neighbor and I had a heated conversation. Both aired our grievances. We both made accommodations. Now we get along. |
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Posted: 4/20/2024 7:13:50 AM EDT
[#50]
Get yourself a nice home backup generator and keep it exercised for inclement weather
 Detroit 6-71 Startup |
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