Thanks, that means a lot.

I have three kids.  One 22, one 18, and one 16 (he has Down's Syndrome).  My oldest graduated early from college last year and is now working at Boeing (I know) and also working on masters living out of the house and doing fine-she is even thinking about buying land in the country to eventually have as a retirement or maybe investment property.  My 18 year old is in college and paying for it on his own and will come home to live during the summer to work some more.  My youngest, well my wife and I are going to retire in four years and build on our country land in the Ozarks and we are building a room just for him.  So two out of three isn't bad.

I will say this.  If it gets HORRIBLE my kids are always welcome to come and live with me as long as they contribute.

While that's all well and good in theory, what happens 10-20 years down the line when the family homes are sold off to unrelated parties?

Once you subdivide a property and give it away, it can be very tricky/expensive to get it reincorporated at a later date.

I'm not "sold" on the generational living concept, mostly because it is extremely poorly defined.

As a Gen-Xer, am I to be the first and only generation in the history and future of the world to be expected to be responsible, get a job and move out in my early 20's and then browbeaten and shamed into housing lazy and irresponsible adult kids so they don't dump me in a cockroach infested nursing home the moment I am worth more dead than alive?

That's the impression I get from a lot of people who post on this subject.

Screw that.

In the real world, the number of deadbeat adult children living at home compared to temporary hard luck cases, medical cases, or highly accomplished and industrious kids just getting started is probably at least 5:1.

The very drive that helps make a young adult successful is strongly correlated to the urge to move out of their parents home.

ARFCOM tales to the contrary, generational living all over the world and throughout history could be described as difficult and impoverished.  I'm not sure if that is something to aspire towards.

This.  One of them I read the selling details about had an oil fired furnace that cost an insane amount per month, like several thousand E.  And there was a requirement that the heating system be upgraded to comply with environmental mandate.  Plus the historical compliance crap.

The US needs to stop with the historical listings, or put a time limit on it. No one steps forward to renovate -- 5 year timer starts after which the owner can do as they wish.

The generational housing situation can obviously be done right and be a good thing, but there are also plenty of dysfunctional situations that will not be productive. There was no way I was going to stay in my parents house, but I was always very independent and thrived in that independence right up until I retired.

No.  That’s a Cult.      Similar, and yet quite different.

Intentional communities are the dream.

My 5 year plan, IF the country does not collapse is similar. Sell our homes, buy land and build a home for this concept. Not worried about marble, fancy stuff. Maximum energy efficiency and durability(within reason). Build a home with 2 - master suites a large central kitchen and an apartment / MIL suite attached to the garage. In the shop build another efficiency apartment / living quarters/ man cave. We have a 16 year old at home. Daughter is 30, married with a daughter. SIL is a good dude. If my mom, sister, son or daughter needs a home, we want a place for them. Our kids will inherit the home, so if they think it is a good idea we will do it. If the grown daughter is not interested we will scale down.

Also build thinking of myself or wife in 10-15 years,  no curb shower, wheelchair access, etc.

Even with what little we've delved into it so far, one thing I can say as that everybody needs their own space... physical space, not just emotional or whatever.  You're going to want to get away from each other from time to time, and will need space to do it.

Plan for pets as well.  Blending multiple family unit's pets isn't always easy and can cause friction if not handled delicately.

I’ve told my daughter and her husband when I retire in a few years we should sell our homes and combine our funds and purchase a piece of property that has a mother suite or their own home and me build something small.  They would eventually benefit when I die and while I’m alive I can babysit and help them.  I don’t want to live in same house, though. More families may be doing this as things get worse.

Yep.  I was raised in a dysfunctional home and don’t know what a family unit is and basically zero support.  I did the exact opposite and my kids will always have my support until my last
breath as they are productive.  Which they are.  I feel I could die and my parent would never know if someone didn’t mention it.

No man shit no man.

Legit communal living would THE shit.

My number one goal in life is to provide a way for my 2 sons (3 yrs & 6 mos) the ability to stay right here on our farm should they choose to.  I'm not sure how or what that looks like right now, but surely we can come up with something for them to provide themselves with a good living and not have to move off. Probably some sort of  combination of rental properties and using the land to create income.

Maybe your kids would do that.  If my kids aspire to part time at Taco Bell I won't let them live at home. They can go out and experience their poor choice

Wonder if my wife would let me rent it to cute college chicks when I'm old

That's my line of thought.  If things stay like this maybe they need to stay five years to get that same advantage.  Who knows.  But if they are working towards a goal and making good decisions I'm not going to kick them out .

I have seen 50/50 .  Really depends on the family.  I have zero tolerance for an able bodied adult dependent taking up my space.  If they aren't moving forward they are moving out .

Among Mediterranean people (Italians, Spanish, Portuguese, Greeks, Jews, etc...) multi-generational living is normal. Nobody thinks anything about it. I have seen lots of nasty comments over the years about free loaders, momma's boys, etc... Its normal for the kids to stay with their parents until they get married. Even after they usually dont go very far. When my friend got married his parents GAVE THEM a house as a wedding present. I knew Italians of a family that owned ALL the houses on the street and all their relatives were in them and all their friend were nearby. They sock it away and than some. Nobody is abandoning anyone.

I have also seen it with other Europeans - Irish, Polish and French. About the only people that I dont see it are people that are descendants from people in the UK.

People wonder how elderly get dumped in senior citizens homes and their kids dont care for them - this is how. There is no way on Gods green earth I would have put my Dad in a home. He lived with me till he passed away. I miss him every day.

On top of all of this generational knowledge is passed from older people to younger people. People today wonder people have no memory of who they are and where they came from - this is why. My Dad lived through the Great Depression and used to tell stories about what life was like for him and the family. Telling us about his father having to dig coal out of the ground for .25 cents a ton.

People need to realize that you are stronger together rather than separate. The state and corporations like everyone atomized for their benefit.

Do they have Koolaid and matching sneakers?  Asking for a friend.

In many cultures, this is common place, especially in Asian, Hispanic and Black families.

What happens when the kids realize they can spend the money they would have spent on rent, for a new car, phone, watch, etc?

This is more than simply an economic equation. This is about making choices and learning responsibilities as an independent adult.  For the VAST majority of people, giving someone something for free means at best they become complacent, at worst lazy and shiftless.

That's when you know you failed completely as a parent

Do agree that most people need to earn rather than be given, but there's a wide gap between hand outs to a lazy ass kid vs helping them with housing to stabilize their finances as they work through their education and/or begin their careers.

One alternative to "giving it away" is to collect rent, but hold it and give back to the kid all at once when they move out. "Surprise! Here's 5 digits cash!".

Similarly if my kid doesn't deplete the college savings I've got for her (ha ha) she'll get a chunk directed towards down payment on house or whatever. Something like that could be totally life-changing without encouraging laziness.

How are they multigenerational if the fathers don't stick around?

Daaaaaaaaaaaamn

Let em stay as long as they put away to get a house of their own.

If they have to move for work I'll cover their rental expenses because I can ... As long as they put away to get a house of their own.

Retirement isn't in the cards unless I am disabled and that would require a significant brain injury otherwise I can do my job... Self employed if I need to be.

And I'm ok with that.