Me and my wife have a 3 year old boy now. She never wanted kids, and I never could tell if I did or not. She compromised, and gave me one. I absolutely love being a dad, and I want more. She is content with one.

My wife wants desperately to become a veterinarian, so she has been working on getting into school for the last 2 years. It's tough, and competitive and takes a lot of work. It's her dream so I'll support her and we should be better off when she gets out, but it's a 4 year program once she gets in. She has applied and should find out this spring weather or not she got into any of the schools. She always said we could revisit the idea of more kids after she gets out of school.

The other day, she told me she was absolutely done, and never having more kids. This made me very depressed, and she could tell. So she reconsidered for a few days, and told me that if she gets in, we can try for a kid around next August so that she is pregnant during her first year, and plan for the kid to be born shortly after final exams. Then, she can spend the summer with the kid before going back. It's unlikely she will get in in our home state, so she will likely be in another state for school.

This seems like a terrible plan, but my only option. I'll basically be a single father of 2 for 4 years. But, I don't have a better idea, and if this is my only opportunity for another kid, I'll move mountains to get it done.

I have a good job, and all rhe grandparents are in the area. It'll be tough, but i think I can do it. Money will be very tight, but I'm confident i can figure it out.

If everything works out, my oldest will be just about kindergarten age for all of this anyway. I want to homeschool him, but it might have to wait until after the vet school thing is done.

Give me some feedback. Am i dumb for wanting to try this?

When you’re on your death bed, will you look back and say “we should have only had the one.” Or “I’m glad we had two.”

Do it.

I have four and sometimes I want a fifth (and maybe sixth).

It won't all be roses but you will be happier in the long run with another child.

Go for it. And be grateful that you have a wife that will compromise.

This.

I’m also in the camp that believes having siblings is better for kids.

Wouldn't having an additional wife solve that problem?

How old are you?

My situation shared some similarities with yours in that my wife is an MD

We didn’t get married until her second year of medical school, and didn’t have our first child until she was in her second year of residency.  Because of that we basically had one in our 20s, one in our 30s and one in our 40s.

Now.  That’s also where the similarities end.  My wife always wanted kids. Plus I had things going on that also pushed things back.  I was in the military and got hurt badly, then I went to law school (our second was born my last year) and then my mom got really sick and we postponed our 3rd so we could help care for her during her end of life.   We may have ended up with 4 were it not for some of that.

I guess my point is, this might not be your only time.

I have friends older than me with kids younger than mine.  They didn’t meet until later than life, both always wanted kids badly, and so just started later/. They’ll be in their 70s when their youngest goes to college granted, but that’s the hand life, love, and God dealt them, and that’s what they’re making the most out of

Agreed. She keeps telling me to go find a girlfriend. To be frank, I'm bad with women, and lucky to have 1 lol.

I often tell people i want 5. It's not really helping my case with my wife, but kids just seem like the answer to everything.

Thanks for the encouragement everyone. We are only 30 right now. We have time, but clock is ticking just a little with 4 years of school in the mix.

I'm going to go against the grain a little and say this is something you guys should have hammered out sooner. Either way, there is a huge opportunity for resentment from one side or the other. What you call her compromising when it comes to having children is just her capitulating to make you happy. She's not happy with one. She's gonna be less happy with two.

She is happy with one though. She is turning out to be a great mother for our son, and loves him deeply. I have a feeling she will be very happy with 2, but she just doesn't see it yet.

But I do agree. She is only going along with kids at all because I want them, and she doesn't want me to resent her later in life. Which is difficult for me to reconcile. But, if everything works out as planned, she will be the breadwinner, and I'll stay home and take care of the kids after school is done.

I had my second right before I turned 37. 30 isnt old at all. Sounds like your wife willing to compromise. Tell her how that makes you feel and make a plan. Then come August make sure youre ready to go.

Go for the 2nd kid. Do not live in different states when she is in school or you will likely end up a single dad permanently.  That's not a slam against your wife. It's how life works most of the time. Better to sacrifice and live together than live separate lives and grow apart.

Mo babies mo better.  I have 3 and wish i could make more.

More kids makes it easier, right? lol

The pending disaster is trying to raise two young kids while your wife is away for 4 years spending $150k on a degree that pays $80k.

you guys need to re evaluate this plan and not the kid parts.

Semi-relatable….

Here’s a story my father told my cousin about 10 years ago…

She was in her late 20s and single. She had just finished her doctorate and started a career in the medical field. She wasn’t even interested in a relationship much less having children. She’s was all about her career and probably more so partying/clubbing. My dad told her something to the effect of;

“When you’re 65 years old and your looks have faded and the party phase has long passed you will still have your career and plenty of money. But at the end of the day it’s gonna be real quiet and lonely and you’ll wish you had little grandkids running around your house.”

She’s now married with 2 kids and a stay at home mom.

Do it, kids need siblings

This.^

And put home schooling right up front. I have three kids: they'll do preschool and kindergarten; after that, I'm taking over. Put your kids first.

I am an only child and it is horrible. If you have one you should have two at least.

*removed*

I’m going to be frank.

It’s a sad culture that we live in that has pushed women out of the home and made them feel that their best worth is elsewhere, working for another man or in your case, taking care of animals instead of children.

You should absolutely have more children. Also, do whatever it takes to show your wife how much you and the kids value her, how she’s the best mom ever, and that things are best when she’s home with you guys. That doesn’t mean she can’t work, can’t have a successful career, etc. but #1 priority should be home.

I'm around 40 and just had my first.

Wife is about 10 years younger.

I have 6 kids, 5 boys and 1 girl. 12, 10, 7, 5, 3 1mo

There are alot of benefits to having a large family. It really makes everyone in the house less selfish which is great for character.

Money seems to always be going out more then its going in, but one day they will be all grown and ill save money then. Right now I wouldn't change anything for the world.

Do it.  You'll never regret having more kids.

Go ahead and have #2.

Tell your wife if she’s going to put the time and money into being a doctor, she should go ahead and be a real doctor with the accompanying pay.

Veterinarians get paid about like teachers only with no summer breaks.

Siblings are important, and I don't think I really understood how important until we buried our mother in the Fall of '92.

We certainly circled the wagons when Dad died in '00, but we really leaned on one another when Mom died.

Oh, I had my first at 48 last year. We'll be having another.

This.

When my ex and I started to want kids we were dirt poor. Just bought a house with a few acres and I was just getting going on my career. Our first was difficult and had some learning disabilities that are and were a challenge. We debated about having another child and three years later she got pregnant. We worried to death about it , but our second daughter was born and she had no issues.

However , we both decided to hold off on number three because of finances and difficulties with our first and just never had number three. I wish I could go back and have number three . Two is good , but I think three was what we were suppose to have.

Do it!

Kids need siblings and you'll be a better person for it.

So my wife is pregnant with our second and I could not see her getting an education while being pregnant. I don’t know how your wife did for your first born, but mine has been non stop sick for both pregnancies now. There’s no way she would have the ability to focus to complete any type of educational program. Your wife might have a much milder time with her morning sickness.

I don’t know how old you two are, but IMO the time to get an education is the time to get an education, and the time to have kids and be a parent is the time to have kids and be a parent. It’s going to be hard for you two to serve two masters. At this point in your lives already having a child if it was me id focus on growing my family and put school on the back burner.

We had two. In hindsight, my wife and I regret not having more.

I have two and would have welcomed more

We were blessed with one child. As the parent of an only child, I’d recommend at least one more for multiple reasons… social development being a significant one.

30 years of age and 4 years between siblings are pretty good numbers.

I have a set of twins that are 24 and the wife wanted another one but we just didn't have the room. Now the boy are gone but I don't know if it is smart to have one when we are in our 50s. But to be honest I wouldn't mind another kid