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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:49:38 PM EDT
I ask this because I have lived all over the country at one time or another and found it to be more prevalant in the south. Now before someone bashes me for being against people from the south I currently live in the south and have for 31 of my 44 years. I love the south and the people and consider myself a southerner
But I have found them to be more clannish and I do not consider it to be a good trait. My Uncle Neal who was born in Tennessee and was as southern as the sky is blue also felt the same way. An example: He married my aunt who was from Indiana and use to take her every year to the family get togethers in TN. The first time he took her they basically shunned her and gave her the cold shoulder. Now my aunt was a good hearted person and loved by all who knew her. She told Uncle Neal what had happened and he tore into them (his family). He basically told them if they ever did that again they would never see him again and they could rot in hell. After that they treated my aunt like gold when she came with Uncle Neal to the family reunion. She was treated as part of the family. However, when Uncle Neal died of cancer 35 years later she tried to continue to go the family reunion they once again shunned her and gave her the cold shoulder and made it known she was not welcome. I have found the example above to be more common in the south than other places in the country. My Uncle said this was a trait southerners need to learn to lose especially when it comes to people that marry into the family or people that move into the community and are not a threat to their way of life. ( he understands initially why people are wary of strangers but once they are seen to be okay people they should be accepted) Now this does not mean that all southerners are like this or even that the majority are like this just that I find it more in this area than others. Thoughts? |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:51:39 PM EDT
[#1]
IN!
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:52:12 PM EDT
[#2]
My experience is the opposite.... that Southerners tend to be more open and friendly.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:53:17 PM EDT
[#3]
what about Southern Hospitality?
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:54:10 PM EDT
[#4]
The title is teh awesome.
You worked "Southern" and "Clannish" into the same sentence 
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:54:13 PM EDT
[#5]
Quoted: My experience is the opposite.... that Southerners tend to be more open and friendly. That's my experience as well. With a few exceptions those I have interacted with have been nothing but polite and welcoming. 'Northerners' are the exact opposite. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:54:46 PM EDT
[#6]
Quoted: My experience is the opposite.... that Southerners tend to be more open and friendly. yep |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:55:18 PM EDT
[#7]
Maybe it just has been my experience and others that I know. Like I said the majority of southerners are more friendly than any other people I know and are not like this. I like southerners more so than any other region of the country.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:55:54 PM EDT
[#8]
Around here we treat others like family.  That is, until they screw us over.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:56:05 PM EDT
[#9]
I think there are a lot of folks in the south that are of Scottish/Northern English descent and those cultures are/were very clannish. Those clan traits probably got passed on to other settlers in the 17th and 18th centuries and became part of the local culture. I lived in NC for about 12 years and I know what you are talking about. That said, once you're accepted those folks will stand by you like one of their own.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:57:50 PM EDT
[#10]
IBTL
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:57:58 PM EDT
[#11]
Quoted:
Quoted:
My experience is the opposite.... that Southerners tend to be more open and friendly. That's my experience as well. With a few exceptions those I have interacted with have been nothing but polite and welcoming. 'Northerners' are the exact opposite. I find this to be true as well. I'm a Yankee, but I treat everyone as if I were a Southerner. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:58:00 PM EDT
[#12]
Yes, I think that the scottish ancestory has alot to do with it. I am accepted by the way and am considered "southern" by them. Most think I was born and raised in the south.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:58:27 PM EDT
[#13]
Quoted:
Around here we treat others like family. That is, until they screw us over.Gator's gotta eat too . |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:59:44 PM EDT
[#14]
Quoted:
I ask this because I have lived all over the country at one time or another and found it to be more prevalant in the south. Now before someone bashes me for being against people from the south I currently live in the south and have for 31 of my 44 years. I love the south and the people and consider myself a southerner
But I have found them to be more clannish and I do not consider it to be a good trait. My Uncle Neal who was born in Tennessee and was as southern as the sky is blue also felt the same way. An example: He married my aunt who was from Indiana and use to take her every year to the family get togethers in TN. The first time he took her they basically shunned her and gave her the cold shoulder. Now my aunt was a good hearted person and loved by all who knew her. She told Uncle Neal what had happened and he tore into them (his family). He basically told them if they ever did that again they would never see him again and they could rot in hell. After that they treated my aunt like gold when she came with Uncle Neal to the family reunion. She was treated as part of the family. However, when Uncle Neal died of cancer 35 years later she tried to continue to go the family reunion they once again shunned her and gave her the cold shoulder and made it known she was not welcome. I have found the example above to be more common in the south than other places in the country. My Uncle said this was a trait southerners need to learn to lose especially when it comes to people that marry into the family or people that move into the community and are not a threat to their way of life. ( he understands initially why people are wary of strangers but once they are seen to be okay people they should be accepted) Now this does not mean that all southerners are like this or even that the majority are like this just that I find it more in this area than others. Thoughts? See the problem is you are associating with carpetbaggers. Real southerners don't act that way. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 3:59:51 PM EDT
[#15]
Quoted:
Maybe it just has been my experience and others that I know. Like I said the majority of southerners are more friendly than any other people I know and are not like this. I like southerners more so than any other region of the country. I've lived in the south my entire life, but I agree with the OP. Moved to the middle of MS from FL, and could not break in to the cliques in the local church. Moved to East TN, same thing. Moved to north GA- took about 3+ years before we were 'accepted' by the local folk. Moved to north MS, have had a hard time being accepted at church- switched churches, now things are great. I think part of the issue was trying to hang with the old money, blue-blood types. Once we found folks like us, thing were much easier. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:00:30 PM EDT
[#16]
Quoted: The title is teh awesome. You worked "Southern" and "Clannish" into the same sentence http://www.paranormalknowledge.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/kkk.jpg Might want to learn to spell......... |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:00:46 PM EDT
[#17]
Quoted:
Yes, I think that the scottish ancestory has alot to do with it. I am accepted by the way and am considered "southern" by them. Most think I was born and raised in the south. thats not offensive at all,, to the rest of us Scot's you're uncles family was fucked up...move on! |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:00:51 PM EDT
[#18]
Naw. But lets talk about Missouri Germans, the Dutchies are some closed folks.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:01:16 PM EDT
[#19]
Quoted:
IBTL |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:01:34 PM EDT
[#20]
I'm a Yankee by birth, have lived in different parts of the South since 2000. Spent almost a third of my life here now (37). I'd say the clannish issue varies by area. When I lived in Richmond KY, it was definitely the case - it took a lot of work to get people to even be friendly to someone with an obvious Yankee accent, but I broke down a lot of the barriers because I share a lot of common interests with many of the Southerners I'd meet through work or hobbies (guns, hunting, farming, manual labor). When I moved to Huntsville AL, it was a friendlier community, mainly I think because of the influence of northerners for 50 years due to the missile work at Redstone arsenal that started during WWII. Plus, I got into farming as a side job, and always lent a hand when the neighbors needed it, and didn't have to ask for much in return. Now that I'm in Waco TX, I'd say I'm in the least clannish of the southern states. While I wasn't born here, I already consider myself a Texan - haven't even gotten a single Yankee comment here - they were common in KY and even AL. I was once referred to as a damn Yankee by a lady who didn't even know me at an AL grocery store, and all I was doing was checking out like a normal, polite person but my voice gave me away.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:02:03 PM EDT
[#21]
Yes. Extremely clannish here in the small towns. I grew up 35 miles north and east of here and am considered an "outsider" even after living here 13 years. There is "hospitality" and people are friendly...up to a point. It is really hard to quantify, but it is definitely there.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:02:34 PM EDT
[#22]
Alabama: 4,700,000 people, 12 last names.
You connect the dots about how "clannish" the South is. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:03:07 PM EDT
[#23]
Yes and I am totally unimpressed by it.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:03:22 PM EDT
[#24]
Quoted:
Quoted:
Maybe it just has been my experience and others that I know. Like I said the majority of southerners are more friendly than any other people I know and are not like this. I like southerners more so than any other region of the country. I've lived in the south my entire life, but I agree with the OP. Moved to the middle of MS from FL, and could not break in to the cliques in the local church. Moved to East TN, same thing. Moved to north GA- took about 3+ years before we were 'accepted' by the local folk. Moved to north MS, have had a hard time being accepted at church- switched churches, now things are great. I think part of the issue was trying to hang with the old money, blue-blood types. Once we found folks like us, thing were much easier. so you found it difficult to fit in in Tn, Ga, Ms and agian with in Ms 
and you think the Southerners were the issue 
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:04:12 PM EDT
[#25]
Quoted:
Quoted:
The title is teh awesome. You worked "Southern" and "Clannish" into the same sentence http://www.paranormalknowledge.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/kkk.jpg Might want to learn to spell......... Might want to get your sarcasm meter fixed.... |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:04:23 PM EDT
[#26]
No need for me to "move on". It was just an observation and I have noticed it not just in my Uncles family. If you will note I said most southerners are not like that it was just my observation from my personal experiences.
I find northerners, especially from New York and New England, to be more rude than the rest of the country. But once again the majority are not that way. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:04:52 PM EDT
[#27]
Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Maybe it just has been my experience and others that I know. Like I said the majority of southerners are more friendly than any other people I know and are not like this. I like southerners more so than any other region of the country. I've lived in the south my entire life, but I agree with the OP. Moved to the middle of MS from FL, and could not break in to the cliques in the local church. Moved to East TN, same thing. Moved to north GA- took about 3+ years before we were 'accepted' by the local folk. Moved to north MS, have had a hard time being accepted at church- switched churches, now things are great. I think part of the issue was trying to hang with the old money, blue-blood types. Once we found folks like us, thing were much easier. so you found it difficult to fit in in Tn, Ga, Ms and agian with in Ms and you think the Southerners were the issue  |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:04:53 PM EDT
[#28]
Living all over the South I think what you are describing is more a "Hillbilly" thing versus a "Southern" thing. The years I lived in S.E. Kentucky I experienced what you are talking about many times.
If you research the history of the people from the Appalachians you will find that they were very secluded from the rest of the US for many years. They were not welcoming to outsiders and that trait still lingers on with many of the old timers. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:06:09 PM EDT
[#29]
Quoted:
Quoted:
The title is teh awesome. You worked "Southern" and "Clannish" into the same sentence http://www.paranormalknowledge.com/articles/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/kkk.jpg Might want to learn to spell......... 
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:07:27 PM EDT
[#30]
Small communities in rural Nevada can be very clannish.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:08:22 PM EDT
[#31]
By the way my Uncle did not like the term "hillbilly". Thems were fighting words if someone called him that.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:08:31 PM EDT
[#32]
OP, I ain't never heard tell of such a thing in all my born days.
Clannishness, you say? Maybe if you wasn't using those ten-dollar words, Southern folk might know what the hell you was sayin', and be a might more friendly.  |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:08:48 PM EDT
[#33]
Quoted: By the way my Uncle did not like the term "hillbilly". Thems were fighting words if someone called him that. Flatlander? |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:12:36 PM EDT
[#34]
I'm Conner MacLeod from the Clan MacLeod. Welcome to the south. Now take your arse back up north before something terrible happens to ye.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:13:03 PM EDT
[#35]
I recently spent two weeks in New Jersey in the town of Somers Point which is close to Atlantic City. I could not have been more pleasently surprised by how freindly the folks were there. That was not the way NYC was.
 Fuck NYC.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:14:51 PM EDT
[#36]
Quoted: My experience is the opposite.... that Southerners tend to be more open and friendly. This. I grew up in AL. My aunts/uncles/cousins all welcomed my wife in with open arms and love her. Heck...one of the few people my grandmother actually likes. Wish I could say the same about my sisters... That's a whole other thread right there.... |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:15:06 PM EDT
[#37]
Can I be in too?
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:16:41 PM EDT
[#38]
If you don't belong, southern hospitality is a mile wide and skin deep.
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:20:37 PM EDT
[#39]
Quoted:
If you don't belong, southern hospitality is a mile wide and skin deep. It's also like that in New Hampshire. "Welcome to New Hampshire. Now go home." |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:20:44 PM EDT
[#40]
Quoted: Yes. Extremely clannish here in the small towns. I grew up 35 miles north and east of here and am considered an "outsider" even after living here 13 years. There is "hospitality" and people are friendly...up to a point. It is really hard to quantify, but it is definitely there. Yeah... it's like that here too... basically any rural area I think is like that. I get the feeling people look at the fact that I'm from NJ... Deep down they are wondering, "What the hell did that guy do so wrong, that he felt the need to move to the middle of no where?" It's like I must be some kind of pervert or criminal running away from his past... and thats why I moved to Wyoming. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:20:46 PM EDT
[#41]
You are correct, we are a little clannish, read up on reconstruction and then ask yourself why a southerner whose family has been in the south for three hundred years or more may be distrustful of those we consider outsiders (which is pretty much anybody who grandfather didn't grow up with our grandfathers).
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:24:37 PM EDT
[#42]
Quoted:
You are correct, we are a little clannish, read up on reconstruction and then ask yourself why a southerner whose family has been in the south for three hundred years or more may be distrustful of those we consider outsiders (which is pretty much anybody who grandfather didn't grow up with our grandfathers). The South had that reputation even before the war. I've read a primary source back to 1831 complaining about southerners attitudes. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:26:49 PM EDT
[#43]
Quoted: No need for me to "move on". It was just an observation and I have noticed it not just in my Uncles family. If you will note I said most southerners are not like that it was just my observation from my personal experiences. I find northerners, especially from New York and New England, to be more rude than the rest of the country. But once again the majority are not that way. I knew someone who was from England... and he shared an interesting observation. In America people are much more friendly, but not as polite. In England, people are much more polite, but not as friendly. He went on to elaborate... he basically said this: Let's say someone in England steps on another person's toe by accident. The other Englishman is likely to just politely extricate his foot from under the other person's foot... and not mention a thing. In America, a person might be more likely to say "Hey.... get off my toe, you JERK!" However, Englishmen are much less likely to invite a neighbor/stranger to lunch/dinner. Americans on the other hand, make quick friends and are quick to invite people over for lunch or dinner. SO in other words... Britts are warm on the outside, but cold on the inside. Americans, on the other hand, are cold on the outside, and warm on the inside. Friendliness is much more important than politeness. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:28:08 PM EDT
[#44]
Quoted:
Quoted:
If you don't belong, southern hospitality is a mile wide and skin deep. It's also like that in New Hampshire. "Welcome to New Hampshire. Now go home." People from the NE are usually dickheads right from the start. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:28:10 PM EDT
[#45]
I 100% agree with the OP. I see it all the time.
I wasn't born and raised where I live now. After I got back from Iraq, I mean within days of getting back, I was talking with some people I've worked with for 15 years. They were telling me about someone they new who was killed in Iraq recently. I said how terrible it was, ect. One of them said "but he was from here." 
Meaning it's somehow worse someone "from here" being killed in combat. Like me being killed would have been bad, but not that bad - 'cause you know, I wasn't from here. There are other much worse stories. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:28:15 PM EDT
[#46]
Quoted: I'm from NJ I think I find your problem. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:29:43 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted: Quoted: I'm from NJ I think I find your problem. I couldn't pick my birthplace. In hindsight, I would have moved to CO instead of WY. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:32:45 PM EDT
[#48]
Quoted: Yes. Extremely clannish here in the small towns. I grew up 35 miles north and east of here and am considered an "outsider" even after living here 13 years. There is "hospitality" and people are friendly...up to a point. It is really hard to quantify, but it is definitely there. I understand what you are saying, and have experienced it myself. I've lived in Alabama my whole life, but I grew up in the city (B'ham) and now live in the sure 'nuff country (Slapout... yee-haw!). Now, we've lived here for 17 years, bought a small farm surrounded by larger farms all of which belong to folks related to my wife/her family... but I'm still a bit of an "outsider" here, and it isn't due to my education or career. That's not to say that folks here aren't good as gold. They are, and there's not a one of them that would hesitate to give me the shirt off there back. But I still get introduced as "that boy from Birmin'ham, you know, married one of the Culver girls... not a farmer, works in Montgomery for the state" and such. It's kind of hard to explain. |
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:36:26 PM EDT
[#49]
Not Southerners, just hillbillies.
 They're are all over the country. Wherever you have hills or mountains and it's way out in the sticks... Well just picture in your head the scene from deliverance with the kid playing banjo. 
We got places in rural Ohio that can be very clannish. Seems to be more prevailent down south and east along the Ohio river. The closer you get to Kentucky and West Virginia, the more likely you'll run into communities that can be a bit clannish. Heck, gun owners can very clannish and especially Arfcomer's  .
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Posted: 5/27/2011 4:38:00 PM EDT
[#50]
Quoted: Quoted: I'm from NJ I think I find your problem. Also I wanted to add... I was in a class a while back, and spoke with people from out of state, as well as some in staters. Generally speaking, outsiders are not very welcome. There is a friendliness there... but you definitely hit a "glass ceiling" in terms of relationships you might have there. For instance, you make a few "friends". They might invite you every once in a while, but they are QUITE a few functions that your just not welcome to. AND THAT's if your lucky to even be their friends in the first place. Things that won't happen for you as the outsider (regardless how long you've known them/lived there), that would for an insider include: -Introducing you to single friends.
-Introducing you to other friends in general. -Becoming a best friend -Having friends that you can rely on to help you in a bind... -Being trusted with ANYTHING -Being randomly called by a friend, in the situation where perhaps they haven't heard from you in a while. |
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