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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:47:24 PM EDT
[#1]
First time I went overseas I was a wreck.
I am generally a loner, but getting thrown into nowhere with no one was rough for me. No advice other than you get used to it and it makes you and yours stronger. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:51:43 PM EDT
[#2]
How long are you gone for?
I used to travel for work about a week at a time. I would be gone from the wife a lot. My son came along and now when I travel I can't wait to be home again. I do worry about stuff when she goes away on her own or when I am gone more than a few days (it is rare that I travel now). Try skype/FaceTime to stay in touch! |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:52:45 PM EDT
[#3]
I can't say that I've ever experienced that. I enlisted at 17, I was fine. Any deployment I went on, I was fine, in fact I was excited about them until the later ones. I've never experience separation anxiety whether I was single or married with a family. Now that I'm not in the mil I fly for an airline and I'm gone a lot, it doesn't really bother me.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 5:55:01 PM EDT
[#4]
Comes and goes....
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:00:56 PM EDT
[#5]
The older I get the more I want to be at home. I remember 16 years ago on my mother's last day in hospice she looked at me and said, "Son please let me go home". One of those things you never forget.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:03:23 PM EDT
[#6]
Maybe I am just old fashioned, and out of date, but it used to be called "growing up".
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:07:33 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe I am just old fashioned, and out of date, but it used to be called "growing up". Agree to a point. Now flip it around, your son or daughter goes off to college or overseas?  
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:19:20 PM EDT
[#8]
I would think when you know your life is now measured in hours and minutes home would sound mighty sweet.
I can't help but think of tens of thousands of our brave veterans who died knowing that feeling. And now knows how it feels to have your country spit on your grave. FBHO. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:23:05 PM EDT
[#9]
The wife is pregnant and going through this right now. It's strange to her because she's not used to feeling this way. Even basic tasks , like grocery shopping , checking the mail, making food or otherwise. She gets these rushes where not having me right there is very uncomfortable. She calls me to talk it out loud and laugh at how silly it is. Personally I've never felt anxiety over being away. In the middle of the pacific, or overseas on work. Just more of an excitement to be back or missing something that I really like. My parents hated it when I was in the navy on the sub. 3 months of zero communication. Except the one port call that we did. No internet, no tv, radio, phone calls, bitches, or sunlight for that matter. It was more annoying than anything. But never enough to cause anxiety
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:25:49 PM EDT
[#10]
Nevermind.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:26:50 PM EDT
[#11]
Its a double edged sword. I'm sad at the lack of poon when I'm away from the wife but also happy to get away and get shit done.
Theres also an excitement to coming home, seeing the kids, making love to the wife, etc. Bottom line, it is what it is. Enjoy everyday you have on this damn rock because it could be your last one. Meaning, whether you are home or not, enjoy every minute of your life. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 6:28:56 PM EDT
[#12]
I get it sometimes. If I don't separate I get anxious. I like traveling for a living and the alone time it provides me.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 9:06:35 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Agree to a point. Now flip it around, your son or daughter goes off to college or overseas? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Maybe I am just old fashioned, and out of date, but it used to be called "growing up". Agree to a point. Now flip it around, your son or daughter goes off to college or overseas? They have to grow up, too. My daughter was raised in the expectation that she would do just that. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 9:09:45 PM EDT
[#14]
I'm not a toddler, so, no.
I don't like to be away from my kids, but if work travel requires it (which is infrequent anymore) I explain why and call them nightly before they go to bed. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 9:20:32 PM EDT
[#15]
Not since the first time I went to Boy Scout camp. Seriously, that was the only time and I really like to be left alone more the older I get.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 9:22:46 PM EDT
[#16]
I didn't realize dogs used the internet...
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Posted: 11/28/2015 9:24:32 PM EDT
[#17]
I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, but best of luck!
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Posted: 11/28/2015 9:31:23 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I didn't realize dogs used the internet... OP runs in circles and pees on the floor? (or chews his blankets and the furniture?) Is that what you are suggesting? |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 9:56:07 PM EDT
[#19]
No. Never did except with my first love.
Now, with a daughter, yes I do miss her when I'm away. I don't let it consume me though. I'm usually pretty good at compartmentalizing stuff like that. I suggest that you keep yourself busy with work or other activities. That will keep you from dwelling on it. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 10:00:28 PM EDT
[#20]
I have together-anxiety
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Posted: 11/28/2015 10:03:26 PM EDT
[#21]
Only with my wife and kids.
I don't get it test it that often, but if we go camping for 3 days, by the end of day two I am ready to get back to them. It's my job to be there to protect them, I get anxious when I can't be. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 10:07:25 PM EDT
[#22]
Separation anxiety is usually reserved for children and falls under neurodevelolmental disorders in the DSM-V. However, in V they say adults can get it. I generally disagree. The diagnoses of adjustment disorder is more appropriate for adults, but I'm no expert.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 10:09:01 PM EDT
[#23]
It comes and goes. Usually on a 21 day hitch I will have it at least a time or two, usually because something reminds of them or one of my kids say something on the phone that hits me in the feels.
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Posted: 11/28/2015 10:41:36 PM EDT
[#24]
Never, not even for a second.
I prize every moment I spend away from my family of lunatics, well. My brothers are okay, but they live in other countries. Some of the people who married into my clan are decent. |
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Posted: 11/28/2015 11:53:22 PM EDT
[#25]
I used to suffer anxiety when faced with going home but a divorce fixed the issue.
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Posted: 11/29/2015 12:08:40 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
They have to grow up, too. My daughter was raised in the expectation that she would do just that. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Maybe I am just old fashioned, and out of date, but it used to be called "growing up". Agree to a point. Now flip it around, your son or daughter goes off to college or overseas? They have to grow up, too. My daughter was raised in the expectation that she would do just that. I was talking about us, parents
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Posted: 11/29/2015 12:10:51 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was talking about us, parents Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Maybe I am just old fashioned, and out of date, but it used to be called "growing up". Agree to a point. Now flip it around, your son or daughter goes off to college or overseas? They have to grow up, too. My daughter was raised in the expectation that she would do just that. I was talking about us, parents I'm confused, let's go back. You asked about "separation anxiety". My thought was that the process of "growing up" on the part of both parents and offspring eliminated "separation anxiety". (perhaps I did not express it well) You asked about if son or daughter went away. I responded that my daughter was raised in the expectation that she would grow up and go away, therefor the "issue" of "separation anxiety" would never arise for either of us. (and never has) Your response to that confused me. |
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Posted: 11/29/2015 11:32:58 PM EDT
[#28]
Quoted:
What do you go through? What is it like for you? I think I have it big time when I'm away from my family. Just trying to get other to chime in so I can see if some of the things I go through are the same. I dont sleep well when my wife and kids are not home. I usually just drink a bourbon before bed and that helps. J- |
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Posted: 11/29/2015 11:49:15 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Your response to that confused me.[/span] it's me, my son will be leaving next year. |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 12:27:27 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
it's me, my son will be leaving next year. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Your response to that confused me.[/span] it's me, my son will be leaving next year. How old is son? |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 12:34:27 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
[span style='font-weight: bold;']How old is son?[/span] Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Your response to that confused me.[/span] it's me, my son will be leaving next year. [span style='font-weight: bold;']How old is son?[/span] 17 now, 18 at the end of December. |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 12:36:45 PM EDT
[#32]
I love being around my wife (and people sometimes comment that we are practically joined at the hip), but I am perfectly happy being by myself as well. We spent 8 years living in separate states - Missouri and Tennessee - and would at most see each other every third weekend or so, and it worked fine. We prefer being together, but we are fine apart as well. Even after we finally ended up with jobs in the same town and living in the same house, my wife would travel a LOT, and often be gone at least one week every month.
Now she doesn't travel much at all, and it's awesome. Sometimes we both work from home on the same day (like today), and so we are literally around each other 24/7 
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:10:28 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
17 now, 18 at the end of December. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Your response to that confused me.[/span] it's me, my son will be leaving next year. [span style='font-weight: bold;']How old is son?[/span] 17 now, 18 at the end of December. And you won't be glad, and proud, to see him develop into a functioning, independent, self-sufficient human adult? Are you his mommy? |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:12:19 PM EDT
[#34]
WTF is that? Like restless leg syndrome or IBS?
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:13:56 PM EDT
[#35]
It was hard after my divorce. Then I found Tinder lol. My dog has it real bad though.
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:14:22 PM EDT
[#36]
Fuck, I rejoice.
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:16:36 PM EDT
[#37]
At a laundromat in Jax. Wish I was petting my dog and feeding chickens right now. Can't stand being away from home and not there to do my jobs and protect.
I take anxiety meds. Clonazopam. (Sp?) |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:17:47 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I dont sleep well when my wife and kids are not home. I usually just drink a bourbon before bed and that helps. J- Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
What do you go through? What is it like for you? I think I have it big time when I'm away from my family. Just trying to get other to chime in so I can see if some of the things I go through are the same. I dont sleep well when my wife and kids are not home. I usually just drink a bourbon before bed and that helps. J- Self medicating with alcohol for anxiety bites a lot of people in the ass. Regardless of how well you do with it personally, it sounds like the OP has big enough issues that he needs to be real careful. |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:21:25 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Maybe I am just old fashioned, and out of date, but it used to be called "growing up". Yep. About the only thing I get anxious about when I'm away from the wife and kids is if they are going to burn down the house or leave it unlocked. |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:22:24 PM EDT
[#40]
I have just plain old anxiety /panic disorder. But I don't mind being away from the family for awhile.
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:31:16 PM EDT
[#41]
Never, even when I was a child.
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:37:09 PM EDT
[#42]
No, but I live alone.
The only anxiety I have, if I'm away from home for a few days, is in regard to fires and burglaries. |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:39:20 PM EDT
[#43]
I have a friend that's 30 and still lives at home with mommy and daddy.
Can't get his mommy's tit out of his mouth long enough to try and make it on his own. Does this count as separation anxiety? FYI... he also makes 42k a year, and lives pay check to pay check. |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 2:42:54 PM EDT
[#44]
Only when I don't have my CW with me.
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Posted: 11/30/2015 3:02:03 PM EDT
[#45]
Sometimes I don't sleep well when either I'm traveling or at home while the wife is traveling, but it's mainly due to the house just being too quiet.
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Posted: 11/30/2015 3:04:06 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
First time I went overseas I was a wreck. I am generally a loner, but getting thrown into nowhere with no one was rough for me. No advice other than you get used to it and it makes you and yours stronger. This, my first deployment I was single and it didn't seem to effect me (at least not the same for sure). My second deployment I had a wife and 6 month old son. Best advice I can give, is if you have a very close friend, talk about it with them. Also with smart phones now days video chatting may be an option. By my third deployment my wife and I handled it much better, so I agree that you can come out of it stronger. |
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Posted: 11/30/2015 3:07:52 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I have a friend that's 30 and still lives at home with mommy and daddy. Can't get his mommy's tit out of his mouth long enough to try and make it on his own. Does this count as separation anxiety? FYI... he also makes 42k a year, and lives pay check to pay check. Mommy's fault, not his. (but he should work on it) She probably never let him out of her sight, even to go take a shit, except when he was actually in school. Very prevalent these days, the "lifetime umbilical chord". |
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