ISIS Worried American Sniper Chris Kyle’s Ghost is Killing Their Top Commanders

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - ISIS Worried American Sniper Chris Kyle’s Ghost is Killing Their Top Commanders (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:25:54 PM EDT

If intelligence reports are to be believed, ISIS is in a state of alarm after some of its top commanders have been mysteriously killed with sniper shots to their heads. This has planted terror in the minds of ISIS members who are convinced the ghost of Chris Kyle is carrying out these attacks.

A leading intelligence officer provided the following possible explanation for this belief: “Following the beheading of an individual for possessing a bootleg version of the ‘westerner movie,’ American Sniper, several ISIS commanders watched the confiscated film. About a month later, a couple of commanders were shot in the head while they made love to a donkey. Initially, ISIS members believed another animal had committed the executions in a jealous rage. ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks. After holding an emergency meeting to determine who was capable of such terrifyingly accurate, long-range shooting, ISIS members came to the conclusion that it must be the ghost of Chris Kyle. This theory generated more momentum after another top ISIS commander was found dead with a gunshot to the head made from a distance of about 1800 meters. As very few individuals, including Chris Kyle and a handful of Navy Seal snipers, are capable of such heroic and legendary feats, everyone began believing in the ghost. If a person can carry out such patriotism and destruction while alive, consider how much more deadly his ghost would be.”

ISIS is reportedly considering surrendering rather than face the wrath of the ghosts of Kyle and other fallen American heroes.

http://squibnews.com/2016/02/07/isis-worried-american-sniper-chris-kyles-ghost-is-killing-their-top-commanders/

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:26:42 PM EDT

[#1]

He's that good.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:28:06 PM EDT

[#2]

That's some funny shit. Wish it were true.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:29:18 PM EDT

[#3]

Dat source doe!

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:30:18 PM EDT

[#4]

We should encourage these kind of rumors.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:30:27 PM EDT

[#5]

Sorry Chuck Norris. There's a new Sheriff in town.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:31:05 PM EDT

[#6]

Even in death, he haunts hadji!

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:31:06 PM EDT

[#7]

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:31:27 PM EDT

[#8]

Opportunity for increased Psyops?

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:32:09 PM EDT

[#9]

Be afraid...be VERY afraid.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:32:57 PM EDT

[#10]

LOL

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:33:31 PM EDT

[#11]

Rofl

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:33:49 PM EDT

[#12]

Quote History

Quoted:
We should encourage these kind of rumors.

View Quote

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:35:14 PM EDT

[#13]

Kyle is a Jinni.

Good. Spread the rumor throughout the Middle East.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:37:09 PM EDT

[#14]

We should fuel their fears by placing a "Chris Kyle" headstone on top of an empty grave...

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:38:40 PM EDT

[#15]

Quote History

Quoted:
Be afraid...be VERY afraid.

View Quote

I am... because I think people take that website seriously.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:39:19 PM EDT

[#16]

About a month later, a couple of commanders were shot in the head while they made love to a donkey. Initially, ISIS members believed another animal had committed the executions in a jealous rage. ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:41:31 PM EDT

[#17]

I know that it is the norm to squash rumors and to educate when possible;

honestly though... y'all need to encourage that rumor, hard.

'Your behavior is most haram, therefore I summon the great CHRIS KYLE (may peace be upon him, even as he visits death upon you)'

... or, something to that effect...

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:48:03 PM EDT

[#18]

It was the donkey shaman that summoned him. They've finally had enough of the ass raping.

If they don't knock that shit off, he's bringing in the ghost of Carlos Hathcock to join in.

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:55:32 PM EDT

[#19]

The greatest trick the Devil of Ramadi ever pulled was convincing Isis he was a ghost

View Quote

Posted: 2/9/2016 1:55:37 PM EDT

[#20]

What our snipers are doing is sighting in on target....taking a deep breath....holding....
and saying Chris Kyle as they slowly pull the trigger...this is working very well with head
shots. Chris's name lives on.

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:14:12 PM EDT

[#21]

Quote History

Quoted:
If they don't knock that shit off, he's bringing in the ghost of Carlos Hathcock to join in.

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.....and I heard tell Alvin York was asking permission to report for extended duty too...just in case they don't get the message from the Legend or White Feather.....

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:15:16 PM EDT

[#22]

Quote History

Quoted:
That's some funny shit. Wish it were true.

View Quote

Stranger things have happened...

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:17:06 PM EDT

[#23]

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:18:05 PM EDT

[#24]

Instead of Death from Above, now it's Death from Beyond

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:18:08 PM EDT

[#25]

Quote History

Quoted:
About a month later, a couple of commanders were shot in the head while they made love to a donkey. Initially, ISIS members believed another animal had committed the executions in a jealous rage. ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks.

View Quote

Made love to the donkey, or raped the poor thing?

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:22:45 PM EDT

[#26]

Quote History

Quoted:

Even in death, he haunts hadji!

View Quote

Hell yea

I guess Jesus lets Chief Kyle have a little R&R from Heaven every week

Or so.

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:23:45 PM EDT

[#27]

Quote History

Quoted:
What our snipers are doing is sighting in on target....taking a deep breath....holding....
and saying Chris Kyle as they slowly pull the trigger...this is working very well with head
shots. Chris's name lives on.

View Quote

If that true, that is fucking cool. Good way for his name to live on doing what he loved and good way for the guys to keep him in their memories.

I hope the goat fucks run scared form that mans name forever.

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:36:42 PM EDT

[#28]

Awesome.

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:43:00 PM EDT

[#29]

Why not? He's already got a bunch of other made-up kills. Might as well keep going.

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:47:34 PM EDT

[#30]

Quote History

Quoted:
Opportunity for increased Psyops?

View Quote

Yep. We could drop leaflets that say, "Don't fuck with us or the ghost of Chris Kyle will shoot you in the head with his magic rifle while you fuck your donkey. And he won't even let you finish."

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:48:17 PM EDT

[#31]

Quote History

Quoted:

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
We should encourage these kind of rumors.

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:52:38 PM EDT

[#32]

That is great!

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:56:07 PM EDT

[#33]

Quote History

Quoted:
Sorry Chuck Norris. There's a new Sheriff in town.

View Quote

As one day we will all meet our end, i could easily imagine Chuck and Chris teaming up to take care of all this shit once and for all.

A.W.D.

Posted: 2/9/2016 2:58:23 PM EDT

[#34]

Nothin' good ever comes from fucking donkeys. Don't know how many times I have to say it.

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:04:37 PM EDT

[#35]

Quote History

Quoted:

Yep. We could drop leaflets that say, "Don't fuck with us or the ghost of Chris Kyle will shoot you in the head with his magic rifle while you fuck your donkey. And he won't even let you finish."

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Opportunity for increased Psyops?

Yep. We could drop leaflets that say, "Don't fuck with us or the ghost of Chris Kyle will shoot you in the head with his magic rifle while you fuck your donkey. And he won't even let you finish."

Along with thousands of Punisher skull stickers

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:08:27 PM EDT

[#36]

Donkey sex....

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:14:04 PM EDT

[#37]

Keep up the good work.

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:15:33 PM EDT

[#38]

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:18:42 PM EDT

[#39]

Even though I'm sure he wishes that he were actually able to follow through on that from beyond the grave, I imagine that just the thought that his name would inspire terror in ISIS leadership would give him a grin.

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:19:12 PM EDT

[#40]

"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine"

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:20:40 PM EDT

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine"

View Quote

Chris was strong with the force

Posted: 2/9/2016 3:59:36 PM EDT

[#42]

Good. Airdrop a bunch of Punisher comic books and pics of Kyle with his Punisher logo gear onto them and REALLY freak them the fuck out.

Posted: 2/9/2016 4:49:08 PM EDT

[#43]

It is the will of Allah

Posted: 2/9/2016 5:09:21 PM EDT

[#44]

ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks.

Posted: 2/9/2016 5:13:23 PM EDT

[#45]

This perception should never be squelched. Long Live ALL the ghosts of our fallen, to take revenge upon our enemies.

Posted: 2/9/2016 5:29:00 PM EDT

[#46]

Get some.

Posted: 2/9/2016 5:33:21 PM EDT

[#47]

This would make an awesome comic book series.

Posted: 2/9/2016 5:37:23 PM EDT

[#48]

Quote History

Quoted:

What our snipers are doing is sighting in on target....taking a deep breath....holding....

and saying Chris Kyle as they slowly pull the trigger...this is working very well with head

shots. Chris's name lives on.

View Quote

So you're talking while you are shooting, with your mouth on the cheek rest and inducing movement during a precise shot.