Man ‘marries’ his laptop, sues for state recognition and a wedding cake

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Man ‘marries’ his laptop, sues for state recognition and a wedding cake

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:03:59 PM EDT

I am confused? Is it still 'hate' if you don't agree with this? I mean, the government should stay out of your bedroom, right? :)

Man ‘marries’ his laptop, sues for state recognition and a wedding cake

Chris Sevier says that if same-sex couples are able to get married and demand that Christian bakers make them wedding cakes, then he should be allowed to marry his laptop and demand a cake to celebrate the union between one man and one machine.

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The self-identified “machinist” says he married his laptop in a ceremony in New Mexico, and now he has sued to demand that a Colorado baker — who is already in court after refusing to bake for a same-sex marriage — must be compelled to make cakes for him and his computer “bride.” He also has filed a lawsuit demanding that Utah recognize his man-object marriage.

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While legal analysts said the case is a stretch, a judge in Utah has allowed part of that lawsuit to proceed, and analysts concede that Mr. Sevier’s claims get to the heart of how far the 2015 Obergefell ruling stretches when it comes to nontraditional unions.

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LOL. Here it comes.....

“If marriage based on self-asserted sex-based identity narratives is a ‘fundamental right,’ ‘individual right,’ ‘existing right,’ based on a ‘personal choice’ for homosexuals, then clearly it is also a ‘fundamental right,’ ‘individual right,’ ‘existing right,’ based on a ‘personal choice’ for polygamists, zoophiles and machinists,” Mr. Sevier and several self-identified polygamists said in their lawsuit against Masterpiece Cakeshop, the Colorado baker they are challenging.

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John Eastman, a law professor at Chapman University in California, said Mr. Sevier’s lawsuit against the Colorado baker could have merit under the reasoning of the 2015 Obergefell same-sex marriage ruling.

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“Of course the suit is nonsensical, and I suspect the lower court will treat it as such. But then, so too was Obergefell’s holding that biological sex has nothing to do with marriage,” Mr. Eastman said.

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http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2017/jul/30/man-marries-laptop-sues-for-recognition-wedding-ca/

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:05:36 PM EDT

[#1]

LOL. Good!

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:07:39 PM EDT

[#2]

This is so funny. He should just recycle the pro-gay marriage protest signs.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:07:58 PM EDT

[#3]

How to consummate that marriage?

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:09:42 PM EDT

[#4]

Troll skills

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:10:19 PM EDT

[#5]

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:12:25 PM EDT

[#6]

Could he be doing this so that any porn or illegal material found on the laptop can't be used against him, since a "spouse" cant be compelled to testify against him?

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:15:32 PM EDT

[#7]

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How to consummate that marriage?

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Well, you won't have to wonder why the keyboards sticky..

This shit shouldn't even be entertained. I wish the judge could fine all involved for wasting the state's time.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:17:29 PM EDT

[#8]

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Quoted:
This is so funny. He should just recycle the pro-gay marriage protest signs.

http://i.imgur.com/Y1YVtLu.png

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Sorry bro, you can't marry your laptop. It's not old enough.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:21:22 PM EDT

[#9]

All of these signs can still be used for his case -- the same logic worked for the LGBT folks.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:23:18 PM EDT

[#10]

Mac or pc?

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:26:38 PM EDT

[#11]

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Mac or pc?

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Excellent question. PC lovers are an abomination of nature, and an affront to any sense of decency.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:33:59 PM EDT

[#12]

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Quoted:
Excellent question. PC lovers are an abomination of nature, and an affront to any sense of decency.

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Quoted:

Quoted:
Mac or pc?

Excellent question. PC lovers are an abomination of nature, and an affront to any sense of decency.

And everyone knows Mac lovers are gay, so...

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:36:59 PM EDT

[#13]

A laptop is not a consenting adult.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:38:39 PM EDT

[#14]

This dude is like delta force level troll

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:40:04 PM EDT

[#15]

And people laughed when I said "Slippery slope."

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:40:24 PM EDT

[#16]

He should glue boobies to the top of it.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:40:49 PM EDT

[#17]

Not really, unless homosexuals are inanimate objects. It's a bullshit argument on his part and I hope he gets slapped with court costs.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:41:32 PM EDT

[#18]

Based on traditional definition of marriage, this is about as reasonable as other shit the courts have forced us to accept.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:43:44 PM EDT

[#19]

Someone please post the SNL skit "Making Technology Hump".

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:43:53 PM EDT

[#20]

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Quoted:
Not really, unless homosexuals are inanimate objects. It's a bullshit argument on his part and I hope he gets slapped with court costs.

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That's pretty cisgenderist. I'd pay money to see Tay Tweets work you over.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:49:30 PM EDT

[#21]

How is a gay like a computer in this case? A buttfucker (or buttfuckee) is a human being, with all the rights to life, liberty, and happiness that goes with that. A computer is an inanimate piece of hardware with no rights whatsoever.

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:57:19 PM EDT

[#22]

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A laptop is not a consenting adult.

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Why do you care what he and his laptop do behind closed doors?

Posted: 7/31/2017 2:58:35 PM EDT

[#23]

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Quoted:
How is a gay like a computer in this case? A buttfucker (or buttfuckee) is a human being, with all the rights to life, liberty, and happiness that goes with that. A computer is an inanimate piece of hardware with no rights whatsoever.

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He's not hurting you, why can't you just live and let live?

Posted: 7/31/2017 3:02:44 PM EDT

[#24]

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A laptop is not a consenting adult.

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Such a machinophobe. Shame!

Posted: 7/31/2017 3:07:08 PM EDT

[#25]

Quote History

Quoted:
How to consummate that marriage?

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Posted: 7/31/2017 3:46:36 PM EDT

[#26]

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Quoted:
Could he be doing this so that any porn or illegal material found on the laptop can't be used against him, since a "spouse" cant be compelled to testify against him?

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This is an excellent question. Scary even.

Posted: 7/31/2017 3:50:01 PM EDT

[#27]

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A laptop is not a consenting adult.

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You sound like a computerophobe.

Posted: 7/31/2017 3:51:35 PM EDT

[#28]

Laptop is not going to age well. He chose poorly.

Posted: 7/31/2017 3:54:38 PM EDT

[#29]

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Laptop is not going to age well. He chose poorly.

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He will just have an affair and upgrade like every one else, not like she will sue for divorce.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:01:11 PM EDT

[#30]

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Quoted:
Not really, unless homosexuals are inanimate objects. It's a bullshit argument on his part and I hope he gets slapped with court costs.

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Well, if you use the very same 'gay logic' used in court he has a good case. They stated that the government should not legislate who you love and bingo presto you got gay marriage. "Why are you concerned about who I love", "How does this affect your straight marriage" logic.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:03:00 PM EDT

[#31]

This guy sounds like he could be a devote Pastafarian.

Wonder if the wedding ceremony will be held at a church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:03:45 PM EDT

[#32]

Funny. There is no constitutional right to marry your laptop. Just like there was no constitutional right to marry a man/women of the same sex just a few years ago.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:07:48 PM EDT

[#33]

His laptop can't give informed consent.

If he's used it for sexual purposes it makes him a sexual predator.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:10:12 PM EDT

[#34]

Thought this article was rather old-news.

Chris Sevier.

I believe this is the same guy that wanted to sue Apple for not protecting him from porn.

Just another butthurt (heh) religious person acting like a child.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:14:18 PM EDT

[#35]

I'm all for man/machine marriage........then again I'm marathon watching Battlestar so Model 6 and Lucy Lawless might be clouding my judgment.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:15:46 PM EDT

[#36]

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Quoted:
His laptop can't give informed consent.

If he's used it for sexual purposes it makes him a sexual predator.

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Who is to say? With AI (artificial intelligence) it may give him consent. What's to prevent someone from marry their AI sex robot in the future? Gay's said marriage is about who you love and to not discriminate, so that opened a Pandora's Box based on facile logic.

Gay's gave us this logic. Turn about is fair play.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:20:47 PM EDT

[#37]

Proposition Infinity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy-UKF1xpf4

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:27:15 PM EDT

[#38]

I bet his laptop gets around. I wonder how many viruses it has? He should get it tested before he gets married.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:30:50 PM EDT

[#39]

He just wants 2 standard deductions on his taxes.

Posted: 7/31/2017 4:33:35 PM EDT

[#40]

Quote History

Quoted:
Not really, unless homosexuals are inanimate objects. It's a bullshit argument on his part and I hope he gets slapped with court costs.

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so bestiality, pedophilia and polygamy are all cool?

just needs to be animate?

why do you hate love?

Posted: 8/1/2017 12:22:40 AM EDT

[#41]

Quote History

Quoted:
so bestiality, pedophilia and polygamy are all cool?

just needs to be animate?

why do you hate love?

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Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Not really, unless homosexuals are inanimate objects. It's a bullshit argument on his part and I hope he gets slapped with court costs.

so bestiality, pedophilia and polygamy are all cool?

just needs to be animate?

why do you hate love?

I actually have no issue with polygamy/polygamous relationships.

The main thing is about informed, consenting, adults.

Why polygamy gets a bad rep largely is because of religious groups where it's "God's telling me to have sex with your sister, etc." and there's an obvious social-power-imbalance.

Posted: 8/1/2017 12:28:10 AM EDT

[#42]

Does the laptop get 50% of his social security as a spousal benefit?

Posted: 8/1/2017 12:32:33 AM EDT

[#43]

Does his laptop pay taxes? If not, someone should mention it because I'd assume the government would be all for the marriage if they were getting paid.

Posted: 8/1/2017 8:22:11 AM EDT

[#44]

Quote History

Quoted:

I actually have no issue with polygamy/polygamous relationships.

The main thing is about informed, consenting, adults.

Why polygamy gets a bad rep largely is because of religious groups where it's "God's telling me to have sex with your sister, etc." and there's an obvious social-power-imbalance.

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what is an adult?
what is consent?

if the dog is wagging his tail he must be happy, right?

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Man ‘marries’ his laptop, sues for state recognition and a wedding cake

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