when you drive a truck that gets 9.5mpg and holds 26 gallons you inevitably have to stop for gas quite often so i'm well versed in this............

(insert WHOLE nother fucking rant here on how asshats drive in order for you to even get to the fucking gas station)

ahhhh, a major US highway, just the place i want to be sitting on the side of because the gas station has one entrance and one exit both CLEARLY fucking marked in huge ass red letters ENTRANCE and EXIT............apparently you can pass the written drivers license test by a finely tuned method of eenie meenie miney moe.  anyway, im sitting on the side of the highway waiting for the 3 asshats try to enter the hwy from the ENTRANCE ONLY driveway, biting my damn tongue swearing to myself that ill try not to get pissed already

when the assclowns clear out i go in and try to find a pump.........no dice, theres a car at every pump, yet apparently these cars have been abandoned because theres nobody around any of them and no nozzles in gas caps (im assuming they're inside paying with pennies and shiny rocks)  so i sit there and idle wasting countless more gallons of that liquid gold when somebody comes out finally!!!!!  oh good, shouldnt be long now...........well nevermind, i forgot that the bitch needs to check her makeup and make a phone call before attempting to find her keys, getting her 14 kids strapped into the '74 pinto and apparently waiting for corrosion of the shifter linkage to get her car into gear and get the fuck on down the road out of my way

well, she leaves, i try to maneuver the crew cab into the empty pump only to have it stolen by some monkeymounting sonofabitch that snuck up on me from the EXIT ONLY entrance..........

i wait for more geriatric, below freezing molasses moving bastards to move one of their cars and finally get to the pump.............the inevitable one of the 4 with the broken credit card swiper..........as i sit there and watch the pump click off 1/100th of a gallon per minute i dread that now i'm going to have to go inside to pay for this if it doesnt turn to varsol before i actually get the tank full

truck finally gets full...........i get in my truck and MOVE IT THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY so that maybe, just maybe somebody can get to the pump while im spending the afternoon trying to pay for my gas.

inside the store is the typical scene, 14 people in line with doritos and slurpees and scratchoffs.......how a 4 pump gas station can accumulate that many people is beyond me.  i figure what the hell, line can't get much longer, i'll go grab an 18 pack..........after the freak standing in front of the coolers finally decides which malt liquor 40 he wants anyway

so i've got my beer, time to maybe pay for it and the gas and get the hell out of there.  so i wait in line, patiently as i watch the lady trade in scratchoffs to buy scratchoffs so she can scratch them off at the counter in hopes of buying more...........  the guy that wants to pay in those pennies and shiny rocks we discussed...........  the lady that has no idea what pump # she was at and the like.....

finally get to second in line when some bitch puts about $80 worth of absolute crap on the counter, waits until its rung up and then shazam!!!!  she decides she needs  fucking slurpee and im forced to stand there and stare at the cashier for 15 minues while she decides between scrumdickulous strawberry or banana butt berries, gets her damn drink then takes another 5 minutes trying to get some off the wall brand of cigarettes that the cashier doesn't know which she's talking about and has to point to every pack on the wall

i get to the cashier, run my card through and get the hell out of there, driving under the speed limit to maybe stretch my mileage to 10mpg so i won't have to do it again anytime soon......

i hear ya man.

dude, you need to keep all these and take them to an open mic night at the local comedy club.  could give dennis leary a run for his money

Dude that's a sounds like one of my nightmares. My biggest pet peeve is lines. We have a station here where people can write checks and it really burns me when they go to the counter, then they run back to get their checkbook and then start to write the check.

Remember when you just bought gas, oil, pop, and a pack of smokes and got on down the road?

the first installment of the series was the grocery store

ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=255980

im open to suggestions for #3, perhaps dealing with a gov't office.............

Quoted: (im assuming they're inside paying with pennies and shiny rocks)   she decides between scrumdickulous strawberry or banana butt berries,

Dude.

Classic. I love it.

And believe me buddy, [clinton]I feel your pain[/clinton]

people/sheeple suck ass.  The term "self awareness" is as alien to them as the concept of taking responsibility for themselves.

Enjoy your beer, and may the gods look kindly upon you and increase your gass milage so your trips to the crap-assed gas station are fewer.

Chris

Quoted: the first installment of the series was the grocery store ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=255980 im open to suggestions for #3, perhaps dealing with a gov't office.............

I have always run into the most intriguing people at the tax assessors or at the local DPS office.  Maybe gov't offices are too easy a target.

That was an excellent rant.  

Wanna get your blood pressure up? Try pulling into a gas station when pulling a 26" boat on a trailer. Nobody seems to have a clue that you need extra room to pull in, fill up and then pull out. The slack-jaw yocals just sit and stare at you wondering why you won't move without the least bit of a notion that if you did you would end up repainting their fenders with fiberglass.


Tips of the day, when trailering boats, especially large boats, always fill up at truck stops, there are laid out for that sort of thing.

Quoted: the first installment of the series was the grocery store ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=255980 im open to suggestions for #3, perhaps dealing with a gov't office.............

THE POST OFFICE.......

Quoted: Quoted: the first installment of the series was the grocery store ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=255980 im open to suggestions for #3, perhaps dealing with a gov't office............. THE POST OFFICE.......

Yes, what he said!

Suggestions for #3...

Walk up window at the local "Friendly Neighborhood Bank"...

Drive up window at the Sonic where people order a dozen burgers instead of going to the carhop stalls..

Post Office, as 1shott said...

Just please go a little easy on the State highway hands... fullclip

Now that is some funny shit.......... And true............I feel the the same way brother

Quoted: the first installment of the series was the grocery store ar15.com/forums/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=255980 im open to suggestions for #3, perhaps dealing with a gov't office.............

That's easy!  US Post Office

ok, i'll try the US post office next....................although i feel as though i may cheat you out of something good im not privy to as i live in a town of 5000 people and its never been THAT bad................although i still have plenty to bitch about

fuck, we gotta do something while we wait on sarge to break out his dolls again!!!

You will extend your time between fill-ups if you can make do with a small econocar.

Not very manly or fun to drive but getting 32 MPG in the city and 40+ on the hwy is nice.

Quoted: You will extend your time between fill-ups if you can make do with a small econocar. Not very manly or fun to drive but getting 32 MPG in the city and 40+ on the hwy is nice.

theres no way in hell.......................besides that, it's probably against the law to drive with a bag over your head

Quoted: Quoted: You will extend your time between fill-ups if you can make do with a small econocar. Not very manly or fun to drive but getting 32 MPG in the city and 40+ on the hwy is nice. theres no way in hell.......................besides that, it's probably against the law to drive with a bag over your head

Only if the bag has no eye-holes......

part 3: the friendly local law enforcement? I know you have a soft spot for them

Man I feel your pain. About entrance exit thing, as long as there's pavement people will drive on it. Doesn't matter what signs or what's painted on the pavement. That is a great rant, I hope you feel better I know I do.

This is why I got a commercial fuel account.  No waiting, no hassle, don't have to even see a person.  Just me and the trucks. ...and most of  the truck drivers are fairly courteous.  

www.cfnnet.com/

Take all of the original story and add to it one "fueling attendant" and a law that prohibits you from pumping your own gas and you have the typical Oregon gas stop.

you can't pump your own gas in oregon?!?!?!?!?!?

no shit?

Someone must arrange a meeting between TexRdnec and Piccolo.

Between Tex's temper and Pic's um, sideways view of the world (and, of course, the SEC)...

I can see it now.

Store Clerk:  You can't bring a cat in here!
Piccolo:  But this is...
TexRdnec:  LISTEN YOU ********, HE'S ******* BLIND, AND THIS IS HIS ******** GUIDE ****** ANIMAL!!!
Piccolo:  What he said.
SEC:  Meow.
Store Clerk:  Oh.  I guess that's okay, then.
TexRdnec:  YOU ***** GUESS IT'S OKAY?!?!  YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT ****** SURE?!?!  TELL ME, PRECISELY HOW ***** STUPID ARE YOU?!?
Store Manager:  What seems to be the problem here?  Hey, you can't bring a cat in here!
TexRdnec:  fill in the blank________________________

No offense intended to TexRdnec, of course.  Really.  I mean it.  Please don't tear my head off and shove it into my throat.

Quoted: part 3: the friendly local law enforcement? I know you have a soft spot for them

oh fuck dude...you just opened a can of worms bigger than you know!

Tex, sounds like you need one of these:

www.transferflow.com/

That's partly why I bought a Mercedes diesel. 400-500 miles per tankful.

I have put off buying fuel for days because I didn't feel like stopping or didn't like the crowd at the station. Ohh, and the diesel pumps often sit off by themselves with no one near them.

On trips I usually still stop every 200 miles or so for a snack or drink. I only buy fuel if I feel like it.

Quoted: That's partly why I bought a Mercedes diesel. 400-500 miles per tankful. I have put off buying fuel for days because I didn't feel like stopping or didn't like the crowd at the station. Ohh, and the diesel pumps often sit off by themselves with no one near them. On trips I usually still stop every 200 miles or so for a snack or drink. I only buy fuel if I feel like it.

Yeah but doesn't that piss you off when some dipshit in a gas car uses your pump?(assuming they are not by themselves)

Quoted: Someone must arrange a meeting between TexRdnec and Piccolo. Between Tex's temper and Pic's um, sideways view of the world (and, of course, the SEC)... I can see it now. Store Clerk:  You can't bring a cat in here! Piccolo:  But this is... TexRdnec:  LISTEN YOU ********, HE'S ******* BLIND, AND THIS IS HIS ******** GUIDE ****** ANIMAL!!! Piccolo:  What he said. SEC:  Meow. Store Clerk:  Oh.  I guess that's okay, then. TexRdnec:  YOU ***** GUESS IT'S OKAY?!?!  YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT ****** SURE?!?!  TELL ME, PRECISELY HOW ***** STUPID ARE YOU?!? Store Manager:  What seems to be the problem here?  Hey, you can't bring a cat in here! TexRdnec:  fill in the blank________________________ No offense intended to TexRdnec, of course.  Really.  I mean it.  Please don't tear my head off and shove it into my throat.

offense?  no, im just wondering how you pegged me so quickly................

Quoted: Quoted: Someone must arrange a meeting between TexRdnec and Piccolo. Between Tex's temper and Pic's um, sideways view of the world (and, of course, the SEC)... I can see it now. Store Clerk:  You can't bring a cat in here! Piccolo:  But this is... TexRdnec:  LISTEN YOU ********, HE'S ******* BLIND, AND THIS IS HIS ******** GUIDE ****** ANIMAL!!! Piccolo:  What he said. SEC:  Meow. Store Clerk:  Oh.  I guess that's okay, then. TexRdnec:  YOU ***** GUESS IT'S OKAY?!?!  YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT ****** SURE?!?!  TELL ME, PRECISELY HOW ***** STUPID ARE YOU?!? Store Manager:  What seems to be the problem here?  Hey, you can't bring a cat in here! TexRdnec:  fill in the blank________________________ No offense intended to TexRdnec, of course.  Really.  I mean it.  Please don't tear my head off and shove it into my throat. offense?  no, im just wondering how you pegged me so quickly................

Well, all the ******** asterisks make it a little ***** easier.  

Just need to start with the premise that "Everyone except me and Piccolo is an idiot", and then come up with obvious questions or call out assumptions being made.  Cast them into sentences, and [poof] we get our little drama.

But I really want to know what you would say to the manager in the above drama.

So when prices started nudging the $2/a gallon mark earlier this year it started making sense economically to drive a little further to save on gas costs... about 5 miles away is the local Wal-Mart which normally I do NOT patronize for medical reasons (projectile vomiting at the sight of cellulite-filled spandex) which has an outside gas station which had good prices plus 3 cents a gallon more off if you pay with a "gift card"

OK, I can do that, so all is well for a month or so until I go to top off one day, walk into the gas store and ask for a $20 gift card and clerk (see rant #1) says "we don't sell them here"

?

er, sign outside says "3 cents off with gift card" and she says "we don't sell them here"

?

oookay, "where can I get a gift card"

*pause*

you have to go in the store to get one...

oookay, why is that?

"gift card sales at the gas pumps were cutting down fot traffic in the store"

* slight look of exasperation on my face *

So now, instead of getting a $20 gas card, once monthly I will make the trek to the local Sam's Club (at least membership keeps SOME of the riff-raff out) first thing in the morning and get a higher value gas card that I can use at the WalMart because the Sam's does not have a gas island.

and driving used to be so much fun....

And don't forget the idiot that pulls up to the first available pump, leaving the one in front of him open.  I hate that shit.  What I do then is pull up in front of him, then back up far enough so that he has to back up first to leave.  Sometimes he can't, though, because someone is waiting behind him.

Store Clerk: You can't bring a cat in here! Piccolo: But this is... TexRdnec: LISTEN YOU ********, HE'S ******* BLIND, AND THIS IS HIS ******** GUIDE ****** ANIMAL!!! real answer:  hide and watch us Piccolo: What he said. SEC: Meow. Store Clerk: Oh. I guess that's okay, then. TexRdnec: YOU ***** GUESS IT'S OKAY?!?! YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT ****** SURE?!?! TELL ME, PRECISELY HOW ***** STUPID ARE YOU?!? real answer:  YOU FUCKING GUESS IT'S OKAY?!?! YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT ABSOLUTELY GODDAMNED SURE?!?! TELL ME, PRECISELY HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU, REALLY?!? AND ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU'RE AS STUPID AS YOU ARE OR YOU HAPPILY IGNORANT ABOUT THAT TOO?!?!! Store Manager: What seems to be the problem here? Hey, you can't bring a cat in here! TexRdnec: fill in the blank________________________real answer:  don't make me shove that little nametag up your ass, this is between me, pic, his SEC and the lobotomy kid

really depends on how much i've had to drink beforehand though

Quoted: Quoted: you can't pump your own gas in oregon?!?!?!?!?!? no shit? They treat gas the same as other controlled explosive material. You need to be licensed to pump gas.

Same in New Jersey.  


You need to get yourself a 500 gallon fuel tank at your house and have it filled by a tanker.  The gas is cheaper, too.

Quoted: Yeah but doesn't that piss you off when some dipshit in a gas car uses your pump?(assuming they are not by themselves)

For some reason the pumps here that have diesel do not have anything else as a selection. The one I frequent most, at a Texaco station, has the pump a little further out too.  I guess so trucks pulling boats won't tie up the gas pump in back.

To make matters even better, the quickie mart is on the far side of the station, so people are too lazy to abandon their cars and walk that far.  They pull up to it after the fill. They have a little booth at the pumps if you pay cash.

At another Texaco station, with the quickie mart right by the pumps, they put the diesel pump the furthest away. I guess that will keep gas buyers from blocking it.

Filling-up at pumps with both gas and diesel options is an accident waiting to happen. I've seen those pumps in the past, but cannot imagine they would still be around.

So far having a diesel car is great. Even if it is harder to find a station, even when I am down to a quarter of a tank I still have 100 miles of looking left.  

Ummmm... that little slot ON the pump usually will allow you to 'pay at the pump', thereby sidestepping that whole ugly interaction with the less intelligent types.

Quoted: Ummmm... that little slot ON the pump usually will allow you to 'pay at the pump', thereby sidestepping that whole ugly interaction with the less intelligent types.

maybe some intensive reading of the original thread will help out..................cause that's usually what i do.  on occasion however, the above scenario cannot be avoided.....................

Quoted: Quoted: Ummmm... that little slot ON the pump usually will allow you to 'pay at the pump', thereby sidestepping that whole ugly interaction with the less intelligent types. maybe some intensive reading of the original thread will help out..................cause that's usually what i do.  on occasion however, the above scenario cannot be avoided.....................

Oops- actually I did reread it before I posted... I guess some of the details were lost amongst the verbosity.

I try to avoid stores with long lines like that... but if you drive a gas guzzling behemoth (I'm not casting aspersions on your manhood or needs to compensate), you have to deal with the choices you make.

I prefer to give as little money to the hostile oil producing countries as possible though.
Your mileage may vary.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: Ummmm... that little slot ON the pump usually will allow you to 'pay at the pump', thereby sidestepping that whole ugly interaction with the less intelligent types. maybe some intensive reading of the original thread will help out..................cause that's usually what i do.  on occasion however, the above scenario cannot be avoided..................... Oops- actually I did reread it before I posted... I guess some of the details were lost amongst the verbosity. I try to avoid stores with long lines like that... but if you drive a gas guzzling behemoth (I'm not casting aspersions on your manhood or needs to compensate), you have to deal with the choices you make. I prefer to give as little money to the hostile oil producing countries as possible though. Your mileage may vary.

 im having real trouble believing, despite your niceties, that your post wasn't an attack on me?  i drive a gas guzzling behemoth and i deserve what i get?  was that the jest of it?  ummm, ok, you realize of course that the choice is my RIGHT and that even if i had to drive a little POS 895mpg fucktard machine i'd still have to stop for gas every so often, correct?

Just a little good natured ribbing......

it does strike me as odd that you complain about being at the mercy of the gas stations, and don't seem to see a correlation between that and your choice of vehicle.

I admit that I have a prejudice against most SUV owners- ( not directed at you), it seems they only need a bigger ride to accomodate their super-sized fat asses.

If it's a work truck or sumpthin'- I understand the need.

I had to do the DMV thing here yesterday and had my money and exact change ready in my hand as I walked up to the counter and was on my way in under three minutes. I wish the others in line ahead of me had been as courtious. Think about the next guy people! Planerench out.

Quoted: Just a little good natured ribbing...... it does strike me as odd that you complain about being at the mercy of the gas stations, and don't seem to see a correlation between that and your choice of vehicle. I admit that I have a prejudice against most SUV owners- ( not directed at you), it seems they only need a bigger ride to accomodate their super-sized fat asses. If it's a work truck or sumpthin'- I understand the need.

4x4 crew cab and it belongs to the company, not me, hardly a soccer mom mobile...................................

my rant was on the PEOPLE at a gas station that you have to deal with, not of being "at the mercy of the gas gods for my behemoth"  these would be the same people in my rant against grocery stores, should i have my family eat less so i wouldnt have to go there as often?  seems like the same argument.............................

I agree with you fully....I just about shit if I actually have to enter a c-store these days.....

I've never seen one with a broken reader though- seriously.

Do U have diamond shamrocks there????

Man, you make me miss home (South Texas)!!!

Glat to hear you didn't perforate someones' abdomen, (or head) over it!!