Lawn Sign Defense System

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Lawn Sign Defense System (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:45:17 PM EST

Here in a suburb of Detroit we'll call Kerryville, my Bush/Cheney '04 signs have been stolen from my front yard twice now. These terrorists want war, I'll give it to them.

The Yard Sign Defense System consists of some basic household materials and angling supplies:

4 lb test fishing line (monofilament)
12 lb test line (Spiderwire)
2 wooden stakes with eyelets screwed to the top
2 plastic tent stakes
pop cans
thumb tacks
and of course, 1 Bush/Cheney '04 lawn sign

The first line of defense are simple thumb tacks. They give the sign some teeth, and will hopefully cause the hellions intense but ultimately non-life-threatening pain:

The second defense is an alarm system. Using the 4 lb. fishing line (4 lb. ensures breakage before the screened-in porch gets damaged) and the wooden stakes, I set up a tripwire from the top of the sign, along the ground, up to the screened in porch, and finally to a stack of pop cans:

The third defense is to tie the sign down with the 12 lb. Spiderwire and the tent stakes. You fisherman may be familiar with Spiderwire--it's very strong and does not stretch. These lines have some slack so that the previously mentioned alarm system goes off first:

The final defense is an active home defense system:

She should have no problem waking me from deep slumber should the Kerryville terrorists come again during the night.

I'll update this post as events transpire...

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:47:49 PM EST

[#1]

You fucking rock dude! That's awesome! Tell us about the asses you catch.

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:48:05 PM EST

[#2]

Slick!

Someone will say you are going to get 10 years in jail if someone pricks their finger. Ignore them!

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:48:11 PM EST

[#3]

AWESOME!

Tagged for the update...

p.s. the first pic is hilarious, and gives me a good idea of who the culprits could be!

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:49:26 PM EST

[#4]

Ingenious! And it's legal because it won't kill the assclown(s).

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:50:11 PM EST

[#5]

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:50:12 PM EST

[#6]

Surround those coke cans with glass bottles, and stack a few more levels of cans. try to find a good spot to set up a hidden camera aiimed at your sign.
Witness the hilarity ensuing.

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:50:41 PM EST

[#7]

HOOAH!!! Good Job Soldier!!!

Keep us updated

good hunting!

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:50:55 PM EST

[#8]

Thats feaking great!

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:50:56 PM EST

[#9]

I hope it works. I REEEEEEALLY hope it works. DemocRATS have lost the tiny modicum of respect I had left for them this year.

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:51:33 PM EST

[#10]

outstanding! tagged for AAR

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:52:57 PM EST

[#11]

I'd be worried about being sued by Coke.

Better to be safe than sorry:

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:54:09 PM EST

[#12]

I think you should change your pop can trip wire alarm to the 12 ga blank trip wire alarm and set that up right behind the bush. It's guaranteed to require a change of shorts by whoever tried to take your sign.

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:54:46 PM EST

[#13]

Where's the trip wire to the "Bouncing Betty"....

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:56:10 PM EST

[#14]

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:56:38 PM EST

[#15]

I'm using the same thumbtack technique on mine.

Posted: 10/27/2004 12:57:52 PM EST

[#16]

Outstanding!

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:07:27 PM EST

[#17]

Good job! Please let us know how it works out!

(I still like my field phone idea...

)

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:09:04 PM EST

[#18]

Have fishing line will travel.

looks fun to me.

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:10:25 PM EST

[#19]

GREAT!!!

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:15:18 PM EST

[#20]

Tagged. This could/should be good.

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:16:01 PM EST

[#21]

hope the liberal thieves don't end up filing a law suit against you for booby trapping stuff on your own property

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:23:23 PM EST

[#22]

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:50:39 PM EST

[#23]

hope the liberal thieves don't end up filing a law suit against you for booby trapping stuff on your own property

I considered that. Should one of the rat bastards get poked on the sign, he's also going to hightail it out of here after my dog hears the ruckus and goes bananas (and the HEAVILY ARMED homeowner awakes). Then, mysteriously, any evidence of "wrongdoing" on my part will vanish and there will be nothing for the theif to prove his case with.

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:56:10 PM EST

[#24]

that is freaking excellent!!!! keep us posted!!!!!

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:57:24 PM EST

[#25]

VERY nice! I would prefer razor blades to give them a little more pain for their trespass.

Posted: 10/27/2004 1:59:16 PM EST

[#26]

Any body tried using one of those electric fence. Ring the sign with a shock wire like they use for livestock.

Posted: 10/27/2004 2:02:00 PM EST

[#27]

HELL YA OUT FUCKING STANDING!

If you want I can bunker up and come sit in your yard with a gillie suit and paintball gun. hehehe they'd be OWNED

Posted: 10/27/2004 2:06:22 PM EST

[#28]

Taggety

Posted: 10/27/2004 2:08:41 PM EST

[#29]

Spend the next two or three hours throwing a big loose bag full of those empty cans at your dog. That'll rile him up, and teach him VERY quickly to HATE the sound of those cans.

Posted: 10/27/2004 2:50:04 PM EST

[#30]

Just grease the outside edges where they would grab them. It would be pretty hard to sue over dirty hands.

Posted: 10/27/2004 3:40:15 PM EST

[#31]

That is great stuff! Can't wait to hear about the outcome!

-John

Posted: 10/27/2004 3:49:17 PM EST

[#32]

How about one of these:

Now THAT would be a hoot..... ( along w/everything else... naturally

)

Posted: 10/27/2004 3:53:56 PM EST

[#33]

We can only hope that the Kerryites have been derelict with their immunizations and that the metal tacks will transmit Tetanus.

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:03:41 PM EST

[#34]

Nice Work!

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:08:50 PM EST

[#35]

Tagged for an update with a perp

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:13:01 PM EST

[#36]

tagged for results

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:17:45 PM EST

[#37]

Oh boy, this is great!

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:21:34 PM EST

[#38]

Quoted:
Just grease the outside edges where they would grab them. It would be pretty hard to sue over dirty hands.

thats a good idea.

but i like the idea of having immediate justice when they decide to grab your sign..

i've already had a couple taken this week.

one of mine,,and one in my grandmothers yard.

its grease and tack time.

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:22:22 PM EST

[#39]

tagged

J

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:23:12 PM EST

[#40]

I would dig a six foot deep ditch all around the sign and then cover it up with leaves and sticks and shit like that. At the bottom of the ditch would be barbed spikes.

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:40:24 PM EST

[#41]

Nice work! Be sure to report back after the trap is sprung.

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:45:06 PM EST

[#42]

I see that your neighbor is a Communist as well.

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:48:13 PM EST

[#43]

ATTA FUCKING BOY!!! What are you going to do about the Kerrysign next door?

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:48:33 PM EST

[#44]

don't forget to dip the thumbtacks in habanero pepper sauce......to keep them from rusting, of course

Posted: 10/27/2004 4:56:41 PM EST

[#45]

haha, thats is awsome. rock on man. keep us posted!

bbe

Posted: 10/27/2004 5:18:33 PM EST

[#46]

You could write a product liability warning on the bottom your sign in the white boarder. Something to the effect of :
"warning: removal or miss use of this sign may potentially cause injury"

do that and you should have your ass covered. YMMV
Its not your problem if they didnt see your writen warning

Posted: 10/27/2004 5:23:53 PM EST

[#47]

Holy shit!

You are the man, you may have the hardest sign to take in the nation!

Take pride in your work sir

Posted: 10/27/2004 6:24:34 PM EST

[#48]

In this mornings news (October 27), there was a story about somebody who connected his sign to some wind chimes inside his home. When his “Kerry For Pres” sign was being swiped he ran out of his house without putting on his pants. Made the radio news big time.

Come on people, let the DUmmies be the ones getting caught stealing “For Pres” signs. Things like that make us look as dumb as Hitlery.