Funnniest thing I have ever read. - Page 1

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Funnniest thing I have ever read. (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 8/9/2005 9:07:47 AM EDT

This shit is hillarious. I have found my new hobby when I get home!

www.thescambaiter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109&page=1&pp=25

Damm this shit is funny. Do not click unless you have a few hours to kill.

Posted: 8/9/2005 9:14:56 AM EDT

[#1]

Posted: 8/9/2005 9:37:37 AM EDT

[#2]

do not look behind you becos death is there and you do not want to see death he is ugly and we call him the govenor.

WILSON TARBUCKLE I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND WHT DID YOU MAKE IT ALOT OF MONEY. IF YOU FRAUD US AGAIN AFTER WE GET THEM THIS WILL BE THE ONE WHERE THE GOVENOR WILL GET ALL OF YOUR FAMILY THEN STARVE THEM FOR A DAY IF YOU DID THE FRAUD. MY CLIENT IS NOT HAPPY TO PAY ALOT FOR THE CUSTOM AND WHEN HE DOES IF THE FRAUD HAS HAPPEN THEN THEY WILL DO IT TO YOU. I WILL CALL UOI TO MAKE SURE OF THIS AND MAKE SURE THERE IS NOT A FRAUID IN THE BOX BUT MORE ANUS. THE CLIQUE TOLD ME YOUR LIFE IS IN THAT BOX NOW. COLE

NOW WE HAVE SEEN YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER TOO SO WE CAN GET THEM.WE KNOW THAT THEY LIVE IN A HOUSE TO NOW ABD YOUR FATHERIS A MALE MAN AND YOUR MOTHER IS NOT.

WE HAVE THE ROCKS NOW FOR YOU.AND WE WELL USE IT TOMOROW BECAUE WE WERE BUSY TODAY GETING THE ROCKS FOR YOU TO BE DEAD WITH.I WILL NOT STOP WITH A 1 DEAD ROCK TO YOU I WILL USE 3 OR 4 ROCKS TO DEAD YOU.THE GOVERNOR SAID TO ME THAT THE DEAD SHOULD BE FROM ME BECAUS I AM THE MAN WHO YOU LIE TO WITH FRAUD.WHEN THE CLIQUE GETS TIRED FROM THE ROCKS OF DEAD THE GOVENOR WILL DEAD YOU WITH A PIPE OF METEL.THEN I WILL DEAD YOU WITH ROCKS TOO.I KNOW THIS IS BAD SOUNDING BUT YOU FRAUD ALL OF US AN WE DONT FRAUD.WEDESDAY WILL BE KNOW IN YOUR CITY FOR THE DAY OF WILSON TARBUCKLE IS A DEAD MAN WITH THE ROCKS ONTO HIS HEAD FROM THE CLIQUE MOB GOVENOR AND MARTINS COLE.IT IS TO LATE FRO YOU TO DAY SORRY BUT IF YOU CAN SHOW US THE ANUS THEN I KONW YOU DIDNT FRAUD US.MY BOSS WANY TO DEAD ME BECAUS OF YOUR FRUADS ON US SO NOW ITS YOU TO BE DEAD.

BUT IF YOU CAN SHOW US THE ANUS THEN I KONW YOU DIDNT FRAUD US.

Posted: 8/9/2005 10:41:34 AM EDT

[#3]

That was one hell of a funny read. The scammer got scammed big time!!!!

Posted: 8/9/2005 10:45:45 AM EDT

[#4]

I got 10 pages into it, which is probably the most reading I've done on a computer in a long time. Cole is my hero

Posted: 8/9/2005 10:54:18 AM EDT

[#5]

Check out the phony website he set up to lure em in...

http://www.anuslaptops.com

Posted: 8/9/2005 10:56:00 AM EDT

[#6]

Cliff notes please

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:03:49 AM EDT

[#7]

Damn funny!

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:04:24 AM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Cliff notes please

man, that's tough.

Guy gets one of these "I'll send you more money than it takes to buy whatever it is your selling, you keep the change" Nigerian scam things.

Makes a deal to sell some "Anus" laptops (the guy is wanting Asus but his Engrish sucks)

The guy writing all this makes such a believable story that the scammer agrees to pay
UPS COD shipping for these laptops. Dude packs upi crates of broken junk laptops,
one with ANUS written across the screen with an icepick or something.... ships them out.

Nigerian dude "cole" pays UPS for shipping and when he opens the box, he is not happy.

It keeps going back and forth and our hero convinces the idiot to pay ANOTHER COD
shipment through DHL, same stuff.

Many death threats to both our hero and the English language ensue.

It's worth reading.

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:13:44 AM EDT

[#9]

Good shit! Glad to see someone will take it and run with it, F'er got what he deserved.

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:17:00 AM EDT

[#10]

For some reason i feel obligated to post in this thred

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:18:50 AM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
For some reason i feel obligated to post in this thred

Hey, can I get oe of your laptops?

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:19:39 AM EDT

[#12]

Justice, sweet justice!!! This thread made my day!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for posting it!

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:20:01 AM EDT

[#13]

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:21:03 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:

forum.thescambaiter.com/uploads/theFAILURE/2004-12-18_175009_23.jpg

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:21:23 AM EDT

[#15]

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:22:03 AM EDT

[#16]

Just finished making a fresh batch of lap tops any one wanting some should send me cash for them now and i will COD them to you.

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:32:43 AM EDT

[#17]

Hey A-nus.....I just sent you a big huge box of cash.....I'll take all the Anus computers you have. Will a USB cable fit in my new Anus? If my Anus gets too hot, can I put a big fan in it? I have told all my friends about my Anus and they are coming over soon to see it. They say they want to play games with it. I hope my Anus has a long warranty.
PS: I sent the cash UPS collect as I had no money left to pay the UPS man.

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:49:44 AM EDT

[#18]

I HAD TO SPEND 960 IN CASH FOR THAT TRASH SO CALLED LAPTOP WITH A MANS DICK ON THE SCREEN FOR THE SCREEN. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT NOW

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:50:20 AM EDT

[#19]

3 hours and still reading

Quoted:
This shit is hillarious. I have found my new hobby when I get home!

www.thescambaiter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109&page=1&pp=25

Damm this shit is funny. Do not click unless you have a few hours to kill.

Posted: 8/9/2005 11:53:03 AM EDT

[#20]

Quoted:
3 hours and still reading

Quoted:
This shit is hillarious. I have found my new hobby when I get home!

www.thescambaiter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109&page=1&pp=25

Damm this shit is funny. Do not click unless you have a few hours to kill.

Yep. I'm on page 12. This is unreal......

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:04:52 PM EDT

[#21]

I just read the whole thing, and I have tears running down my cheeks....that is the funniest thread I have ever read in my life!

My co-workers are in the loop now because I couldn't contain myself!

HH

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:09:41 PM EDT

[#22]

tag

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:10:58 PM EDT

[#23]

30 pages long. I need a nap......

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:11:32 PM EDT

[#24]

tag

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:36:57 PM EDT

[#25]

"The funniest thing I've ever read" is a pretty high standard to meet. Generally when I see that, I think, "yeah, right."

In this case, it was right on the money... I was almost to tears, and I'm only on page 1!

--Mike

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:42:55 PM EDT

[#26]

One thing I'm unclear on... what's the deal with the pics of what appear to be some guy visiting the scammer? Perhaps this is explained somewhere and I just missed it, or maybe it's explained later in the thread.

--Mike

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:53:26 PM EDT

[#27]

SEND OUR MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION AND WE WILL NOT HAVE TO DO THE DEAD TO YOU.

Posted: 8/9/2005 12:59:49 PM EDT

[#28]

Quoted:
One thing I'm unclear on... what's the deal with the pics of what appear to be some guy visiting the scammer? Perhaps this is explained somewhere and I just missed it, or maybe it's explained later in the thread.

--Mike

EDIT: SORRY, NOT SURE RE THAT ONE.

Posted: 8/9/2005 1:14:35 PM EDT

[#29]

"...know you will like my anus, many have before. Those are the newest anus on the block, and like I said, my anus is very very expensive, and only special customers were allowed to buy my anus.

I must add, those are a special version, my anus is black."

Posted: 8/9/2005 1:37:54 PM EDT

[#30]

OMFG! The greed and stupidity of these guys is unfreakin' believable!
ROTFFLMMFAO!
I have new heroes now...SCAMBAITERS!

Posted: 8/9/2005 1:42:25 PM EDT

[#31]

priceless.

Posted: 8/9/2005 2:01:25 PM EDT

[#32]

This guy has balls! I hope he gets to keep them pulling this kind of stuff!

Posted: 8/9/2005 2:20:48 PM EDT

[#33]

tagged for reading at home.

Posted: 8/9/2005 2:45:11 PM EDT

[#34]

Quoted:
One thing I'm unclear on... what's the deal with the pics of what appear to be some guy visiting the scammer? Perhaps this is explained somewhere and I just missed it, or maybe it's explained later in the thread.

--Mike

I believe one of the shipments went to Manchester, UK and the upstadning gentleman is an associate of the Nigerian who intended to accept the package.

Posted: 8/9/2005 2:57:35 PM EDT

[#35]

A site like this was posted once where the guy made the Nigerian send a photo with tighty whities on his head and some silly slogan. I love it!

Posted: 8/9/2005 2:59:28 PM EDT

[#36]

Posted: 8/9/2005 3:10:12 PM EDT

[#37]

I think the utilization of "dead" as a verb in all possible verb form contexts is the best .

I'm going to dead you now.

You will be deaded.

The Govn'r and the clique dead lots of people.

BWAHAHAHA!

Posted: 8/9/2005 3:54:07 PM EDT

[#38]

THE GOVENOR TALKED TO MY CLIENT AS NOW KNOW ABOUT THEAT FRAUS AGAIN TO US.ITRUST YOU FOR THE ANUS AND ORDERS BUT ALL YUO ARE IS A FRAUD MAN AND WILL HAVE TIO DIE. TO MANY FRAUD TO US AND NOW THE CLIQUE MOB WILL SEE YOU IN HELL BECASUE THEY WILL DEAD YOU 10 TIMES DEAD. WE KILL ALL THE FRAUD HERE WITH DEATH EVERY DAY AND NOW YOUY WILL SEE HOW WE DO IT. THE CLIQUE MOB WILL BE AT YOU HOUSE IN THE MORNING TO DEAD YOU BY TAKING YOUR HEAD OFF WITH A BLADE.WE WILL HANG YOUR HEAD IN THE CITY FRO YOUR FAMILY TO SEE AND THEN TAKE YOUR BODY BACK EITH US SO WE CAN ALL BEAT THE BODY.THIS IS THE FRAUD YOU DI TO US NOW WE HAVE TO DOTHSI SO BE PREPARE FOR THE DEAD TO YOU INT HE MONRING.NO MORE GAMES YUO PLAY ON THE DEAD WILL BE THER NOW ANT EH GOVENOR IS MAD BECUAE WE ALL SPEND MONEY TO GET THE FAUD BOX OF THE ANUS YOPU SAY ARE LAPTOPS BUT ARE ONLY MORE GARBAGES YOU MADE US PAY.I WILLCELL THE FBI ON YOUR FAMILY TO PLAY THE FRAUDS ABCK TO US BECUASE YOU WILL BE DEAD BY THE TIME THE FBI COMETO YOUR FAMILYS HOUSE.E KNOW WHERE IT IS.NO MORE BUSINEES FROM US.SEE WHAT YOU DID NOW TO US. YOU HAVE TO GIVE US 9500 FOR THE FRAUDS TO PAY FOR BOXES WE HAVE OR YOUR GAMILY WILL BE DEAD WITH NOT A HEAD TO. MARTINS COLE

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:01:36 PM EDT

[#39]

Quoted:
THE GOVENOR TALKED TO MY CLIENT AS NOW KNOW ABOUT THEAT FRAUS AGAIN TO US.ITRUST YOU FOR THE ANUS AND ORDERS BUT ALL YUO ARE IS A FRAUD MAN AND WILL HAVE TIO DIE. TO MANY FRAUD TO US AND NOW THE CLIQUE MOB WILL SEE YOU IN HELL BECASUE THEY WILL DEAD YOU 10 TIMES DEAD. WE KILL ALL THE FRAUD HERE WITH DEATH EVERY DAY AND NOW YOUY WILL SEE HOW WE DO IT. THE CLIQUE MOB WILL BE AT YOU HOUSE IN THE MORNING TO DEAD YOU BY TAKING YOUR HEAD OFF WITH A BLADE.WE WILL HANG YOUR HEAD IN THE CITY FRO YOUR FAMILY TO SEE AND THEN TAKE YOUR BODY BACK EITH US SO WE CAN ALL BEAT THE BODY.THIS IS THE FRAUD YOU DI TO US NOW WE HAVE TO DOTHSI SO BE PREPARE FOR THE DEAD TO YOU INT HE MONRING.NO MORE GAMES YUO PLAY ON THE DEAD WILL BE THER NOW ANT EH GOVENOR IS MAD BECUAE WE ALL SPEND MONEY TO GET THE FAUD BOX OF THE ANUS YOPU SAY ARE LAPTOPS BUT ARE ONLY MORE GARBAGES YOU MADE US PAY.I WILLCELL THE FBI ON YOUR FAMILY TO PLAY THE FRAUDS ABCK TO US BECUASE YOU WILL BE DEAD BY THE TIME THE FBI COMETO YOUR FAMILYS HOUSE.E KNOW WHERE IT IS.NO MORE BUSINEES FROM US.SEE WHAT YOU DID NOW TO US. YOU HAVE TO GIVE US 9500 FOR THE FRAUDS TO PAY FOR BOXES WE HAVE OR YOUR GAMILY WILL BE DEAD WITH NOT A HEAD TO. MARTINS COLE

Like I said.

If you like the above, check out these audio files.

Here's the setup:

The scambaiter responds to these idiots' e-mails but says he will only deliver cash in person. So now the scam baiters send someone to a cafe in an airport where, of course, our guy doesn't show up.

Then he calls them and taunts them.

And hillarity ensues!

www.419eater.com/images/ken_wilson_240205d.mp3

www.419eater.com/images/ken_wilson_240205e.mp3

www.419eater.com/images/mohamed_240205a.mp3

www.419eater.com/images/mohamed_240205b.mp3

www.419eater.com/images/mohamed_240205c.mp3

Read this whole scam here: www.419eater.com/html/mohamed_lucien.htm

AND DON'T MISS, one of the all-time classics: THE CHURCH OF THE PAINTED BREAST:

www.419eater.com/html/joe_eboh.htm

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:04:02 PM EDT

[#40]

tag

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:05:13 PM EDT

[#41]

You guys check out he Cole V2.0 thread on there too.....

They sent him 2 boxes of "laptops", a washing machine, a dryer, a stove, and a cinder block to Nigeria, sent DHL Express paid by the scammers.... the scammers paid all shipping from Nigeria and ended up out over $20,000!!!

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:06:38 PM EDT

[#42]

Quoted:
One thing I'm unclear on... what's the deal with the pics of what appear to be some guy visiting the scammer? Perhaps this is explained somewhere and I just missed it, or maybe it's explained later in the thread.

--Mike

One of the loactions theye were to be shipped to was in the UK, and a board member paid them a visit.

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:06:46 PM EDT

[#43]

His sign was written on the back of a Windows XP printer test page. Yeah, that tool has a legit copy.

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:18:11 PM EDT

[#44]

By far the funniest thing that exists on the internet. By far.

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:19:31 PM EDT

[#45]

Here's another great one...

www.thescambaiter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1132&page=1&pp=25

He sends the guy a fucked up laptop, apologizes for the foul-up, then sends a box of junk, apologizes again, promises to send 20 Anus laptops but sends a washing machine instead, then a dryer to match, and at the point in the thread where I current am, is about to send a stove. The shipping chargers are paid by the scammers. Keep in mind, each time something is sent, it's covered with all sorts of insulting artwork, and you're left thinking, "surely this is the end of it... they wouldn't be dumb enough to send DHL to pick up ANOTHER big box, right?" Wrong.

He's racking up THOUSANDS $$$ in shipping charges. My thought was that these guys were just going to pay DHL / UPS with stolen checks or credit cards, but apparently the shipping co's don't go for this and demand payment in cash in this area of the world.

--Mike

Posted: 8/9/2005 4:19:40 PM EDT

[#46]

That is the funniest read I have ever had. Oh I love this line.................

do not look behind you becos death is there and you do not want to see death he is ugly and we call him the govenor.

Posted: 8/9/2005 5:15:15 PM EDT

[#47]

tag for later.

Posted: 8/9/2005 5:19:18 PM EDT

[#48]

I think I just shit myself . . . .

That is insane. The Churh of the Painted Breast" is also a classic.

Disconnector

Posted: 8/9/2005 5:20:55 PM EDT

[#49]

... taggage

Posted: 8/9/2005 5:30:39 PM EDT

[#50]

Oh, SHIT!

Colo 2.0 is funny as hell, with the audio files.

I like how "butch" has the fucking asshole New York City electronics store guy down to a tee.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Funnniest thing I have ever read. (Page 1 of 3)

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