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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:07:57 AM EDT
[#1]
Chuck, because the only thing that can kill Chuck Norris is another Chuck Norris. And Jack Bauer is not Chuck Norris.
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:12:29 AM EDT
[#2]
Jack Bauer would punch Chuck Norris in the face, then shoot him in the head...
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:14:51 AM EDT
[#3]
better check your facts the term 10 feet tall and BULLETPROOF refers to Chuck Norris........
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:16:28 AM EDT
[#4]
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:17:33 AM EDT
[#5]
Jack Bauer....even without his Sig Sauer
Hey...I made a rhyme 
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:18:00 AM EDT
[#6]
Chuck did a trachea strike, Jack was choking to death, when he shott Chuck between the eyes. I say a draw.
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:18:11 AM EDT
[#7]
JACK! with the wicked CUP AND SAUCER COMBAT GRIP!
Chuck Norris doesn't use that gay shit! 
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:18:55 AM EDT
[#8]
Chuck Norris is to Jack Bauer, as a Dummycrap is to a Republican. Need I say more?
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:19:00 AM EDT
[#9]
Jack would beat Chuck one handed and then use his Microtech to scalp Chuck's beard.
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:19:49 AM EDT
[#10]
Jack Bauer. He plays dirty. He hacked off a dude's head with a hacksaw for a lead on a case once! That's freaking brutal!
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:19:58 AM EDT
[#11]
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:22:22 AM EDT
[#12]
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:22:36 AM EDT
[#13]
Chuck. Last time I check only Chuck could cure cancer with his tears and has never been beaten in a staring competition with a statue.
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:23:38 AM EDT
[#14]
Chloe would tie Chuck up and make him feel bad to boot.
Jack would be off somewhere else, racking up bodies faster than the average housewife racks up credit card debt. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:25:54 AM EDT
[#15]
 Chuck, because Bauer doesn't have beard power 
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:28:54 AM EDT
[#16]
Yeah, but Chuck's mullet cancels that out. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:33:12 AM EDT
[#17]
No, no, no the mullet only enhances Chuck unholy roundhouse to the face fighting style. Come on now, Bauer doesn't his own line of exercise equipment
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:33:44 AM EDT
[#18]
Chuck Norris also works out on the Total Gym system. So physically Chuck has the advantage there too.
Wait.....can Chuck fly helicopters? Jack can. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:34:16 AM EDT
[#19]
the guy from the Transporter movies would kill Jack Bauer..............and Chuck would wipe both of them out
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:34:40 AM EDT
[#20]
Nothing can cancel out Chuck's beard. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:37:11 AM EDT
[#21]
maybe someone needs to watch Delta Force again. He alone wiped out half a country. He just spared the other half so he would have fun the next day. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:37:23 AM EDT
[#22]
what use would Chuck have for a helicopter? BTW, yes he can. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:38:33 AM EDT
[#23]
Yes, but Kiefer was a professional bull rider for several years. A pissed off 1500 lb steak with horns is the ultimate exercise equipment. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:39:02 AM EDT
[#24]
chuck norris alone rescued more Vietnam POWs than were actually reported captured.
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:42:02 AM EDT
[#25]
Yes, Chuck can fly helicopters, but he doesn't need to because Chuck can FLY. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:42:38 AM EDT
[#26]
In the eyes of the CTU Agent
The unsuspecting terrorist better watch out Cause the eyes of the CTU are behind you So next time you're in LA You better watch out cause that's where the CTU will be |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:44:39 AM EDT
[#27]
It takes Jack Bauer 24 hours to stop the terrorists. Chuck Norris can do it in 24 seconds just by staring them down.
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:50:20 AM EDT
[#28]
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Posted: 1/16/2006 9:50:37 AM EDT
[#29]
DRAW!
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Posted: 1/16/2006 10:00:34 AM EDT
[#30]
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Posted: 1/16/2006 10:05:03 AM EDT
[#31]
coin flip says: chuck norris
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Posted: 1/16/2006 10:11:51 AM EDT
[#32]
Exactly right. He doesn't use the sights at all. |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 10:12:51 AM EDT
[#33]
I think if you check it was team roping, not bull riding. No knock on team ropers.......but is IS NOT bull riding.
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Posted: 1/16/2006 11:01:10 AM EDT
[#34]
shit...I forgot about that |
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Posted: 1/16/2006 11:09:58 AM EDT
[#35]
Chuck whooped ass on Joe Piscopo in the 1992 smash hit "Sidekicks"
Do you think Jack has a chance with Chuck wearing these babies? 
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Posted: 1/27/2006 7:32:09 AM EDT
[#36]
Did Samson's mullet cancel out his superhuman strength? No, it was the living embodiment of it. |
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Posted: 1/27/2006 7:33:52 AM EDT
[#37]
Magic 8 Ball says: "All signs point to Chuck Norris." 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:00:14 PM EDT
[#38]
LOL come on those Sigs are heavy. 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:01:40 PM EDT
[#39]
Chuck could take that punk out with 1/2 of a boiled egg fart.
Danny 
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:05:21 PM EDT
[#40]
LMAO Total Gym system..............Good one Hokie! Chucky be to busy looking at himself in the mirror. Dude can't act worth a shit either. Condella Rice kick his ass. |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:06:44 PM EDT
[#41]
seriously....does anyone really think Chuck can even hoist Jack's jock?
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:08:42 PM EDT
[#42]
+1 ROFL CHUCK IS ALL POWERFUL...BUT JACK BOWER WOULD CUT HIS EYE LIDS OFF IN A HEARTBEAT!!! |
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:08:55 PM EDT
[#43]
Jack, because Chuck is a broken-down has-been.
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:09:58 PM EDT
[#44]
Who's Jack Bauer?
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:13:42 PM EDT
[#45]
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Posted: 2/17/2006 7:19:11 PM EDT
[#46]
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Posted: 2/18/2006 5:12:33 AM EDT
[#47]
Neither. Bruce will return to kick both of their asses (again in Chuck's case)!
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Posted: 2/18/2006 5:26:49 AM EDT
[#48]
Molon Labe is Greek for "come and get Jack Bauer", so if it takes thousands upon thousands of Chuck Norrises to wipe out a few hundred Jack Bauers, and they fight in the shade of Chuck Norrises over inflated head, I think on a one to one deal Bauer would be the easy victor.
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Posted: 2/18/2006 5:28:18 AM EDT
[#49]
Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up-- Jack Bauer and MacGyver.
MacGyver immediately tried to make a bomb out of some Q-Tips and Gatorade, but Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the solar plexus. MacGyver promptly threw up his own heart. Jack Bauer tried to use his detailed knowledge of torture techniques, but to no avail: Chuck Norris thrives on pain. Chuck Norris then ripped off Jack Bauer's arm and beat him to death with it. Game, set, match. 
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Posted: 2/18/2006 5:29:29 AM EDT
[#50]
 BRILLIANT! Just remember, "Chuck Norris" is ancient Aztec for "I got my ass kicked by Jack Bauer. 50 times. In 24 hours." 
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