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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:27:48 AM EDT
[#1]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I will be the voice of dissent.... I would make that move without a second thought. I actually like my mother in law, but he does get on my nerves on occasion. Even with that, that sort of upward housing move at basically no cost, and being able to care for family with built in child care is a no brainer. I like my mother in law too and we did have her move in with us. She contributes and it is a good deal financially but it very much did change the dynamic in our family. If I had a chance to go back in time I would not do it. I much preferred the family dynamic we had before and my wife feels the same way. OP don’t be afraid to go with your gut on this! |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:28:15 AM EDT
[#2]
I think it's a great opportunity. The financial burden it will lift would outweigh a lot of short term discomfort (considering MIL age). I would hire an attorney though and get it all legalized and mapped out. Also discuss what happens to MIL when she needs more care than you both can provide. This move not only secures your future but sets your children up for a brighter future in the meantime.
I don't think your an asshole though. Totally normal concerns and worries for certain. However the two separate living facilities (upper/lower) should alleviate most concerns. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:28:58 AM EDT
[#3]
You’re 100% correct in this situation. But I would move into their house with her in the basement. Opportunities typically require sacrifice, this one sounds like it will be tough but I could never turn down family if they needed to live with me, unless they needed 24/7 care.
Take the equity in your current home and build a shed/workshop you can escape into. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:29:25 AM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Needs a pole.  Poll? |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:30:19 AM EDT
[#5]
I gotta go with selfish and asshole on this one. I wasn’t going to go with asshole until you were a dick and threw an ultimatum at your wife. Sadly, I don’t think you putting yourself aside and moving into the house would better your situation.. I think you have bigger issues. Best case scenario here is what another person suggested.. a house swap.
Hey, you asked… |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:30:58 AM EDT
[#6]
You may be an asshole, but that doesn't mean that you're wrong.
I understand the different perspectives, so I might try this: tell them it's too soon, that everyone is still grieving and needs to work through that process before making further life-altering decisions. There's no rush, and rushing such a big decision isn't wise. Let everyone reflect and come back to discuss it a little later. If you decide to stick with your current position, everyone will have had more time to process it, and they may be a bit less emotional about it later. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:31:55 AM EDT
[#7]
NO major decisions should be made for 6 months. So she has 5 more months to go.
The housing marker is not going to change that much in 5 months. That will also give you time to set some ground rules and expectations: Does have her own entrance she has to use? Does she have catre blanche to use the upstairs? Eat every meal with you? What is she not allowed to do? My mother would move downstairs and rarely come up. My mother in law would sleep in our bed with us. I could live with either, but would lay out some specific rules with either to not drive us nuts. And I would tell my mom the rules. And my wife would tell her mom the rules. And we would both be there when they were said. And since it was our house, and Grandma was a tenant, we might sell and move if she was a pain in the ass. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:31:59 AM EDT
[#8]
I actually read it all and…you’re in a tough spot (duh!).
Having grandma downstairs might not always be a bad thing and how is her health? If you plan on taking care of her when she eventually needs it, it will be a lot easier if she’s downstairs rather than however far away she currently is (of course the greater the distance the greater the benefit). I’ve watched people take care of their elderly parents and it can become quite time consuming. The benefit of holding off $10k/month in a nursing home expense comes at a cost. Leaning somewhat toward moving in whether you buy MIL out or wait to inherit. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:33:20 AM EDT
[#9]
In this case, I would lean towards yes, you are being a bit of one. Been in much the same situation, and it didn’t last long. So I would advise move forward with it but keep the twin as well for a couple months. There is a good probability the situation will resolve itself and you’ll look like a prince for having gone along and not pushed for your own way.
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:33:22 AM EDT
[#10]
To me you sound selfish and immature, but I don't know you so I can't say for sure that everything has to be about you.
See if you buy the house and can get the MIL an appartment near by. She probably won't go for that, but it's worth a try. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:33:42 AM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife is really upset because she says I'm making her choose between her husband and her mother - I lost my cool when she said that and said, "So, who's it going to be - me or your mother?!" That comment has so many red flags, it puts China's flag to shame. Not no but HELL NO! It is a losing situation for you no matter how you look at it. Your MIL would end up being in every minute of your daily life. The female dynamic would be your MIL, wife and daughters all hanging together with you on the outside. After marriage, the best thing a man can do is move their wife as far as possible from their mother. And dont think for a second that your MIL will not end up being jealous that you and your wife are spending time alone in the bedroom. She will find subtle ways to keep her busy by suggesting they make cookies with the girls or let's watch a movie, etc., anything to keep her around instead of the two of you getting alone time. Women are just naturally jealous and mean spirited like that. Your wife wouldn't be making all or nothing type manipulative statements unless there was a negative mindset there. Either she's reacting out of a position of emotional panic, or else she's "splitting" and tends to do that due to some other pattern she's been in. Have you noticed this type of behavior towards you or others in her past? I'd get a counselor involved honestly. This is a huge deal. I'm sympathetic to the dilemma, but when people act reasonably and thoughtfully, there are other ways to solve this. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:36:29 AM EDT
[#12]
As soon as I saw “twin” I had to look because it knew you from Pa… (my guess would be SEPA).
Anyway… it’s a tough spot to be in… there would have to be a lot of ground rules set… but… any chance of renting out your current house and making some money out of it then eventually if it doesn’t work out you could always move back in? |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:37:22 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I like my mother in law too and we did have her move in with us. She contributes and it is a good deal financially but it very much did change the dynamic in our family. If I had a chance to go back in time I would not do it. I much preferred the family dynamic we had before and my wife feels the same way. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:37:51 AM EDT
[#14]
As someone who had their aging, disabled parents move in with them, do it.
Seriously. There will be times that it is incredibly taxing, stressful, and outright agitating. BUT - the time that your kids spend with their grandmother is simply not something you can ever get back. Extended family living situations have been the norm throughout most of history. Yes, there are downsides, but the upsides are worth it IMHO. You only have one family, and one shot at making the most of the time you have with them. Aside from the financial real estate windfall that you will gain, having your MIL at home is actually a huge bonus to your kids. Like I said, you can’t get that time back. I wish I had more time with my grandparents. When mom and dad get annoying, I go to another room. Simple as that. Same as if you and your wife are disagreeing. To be honest, it works well for us. They can’t do the physical things anymore, and are on a fixed budget. I/we do the heavy lifting, pay the bills, etc - they pick up some groceries and stuff, and are there for our son. My dad and my son are like Calvin and Hobbes. I gotta keep them both out of trouble. Somehow, I got two extra kids. But that’s the circle of life man, our parents kept us alive and raised us, now it’s our turn to return the favor. Theres far more pluses than minuses. Yeah, privacy is lacking, but when you have kids, there’s no privacy anyways. Embrace it dude. Don’t think twice. Do it for your kids. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:38:07 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted: An asshole, no, but foolish, yes. this is a great opportunity for your family and future. Your dynamics will change either way because of the disagreement with your wife, do you might as well get the life changing upside of the house for free, not to mention live in child care. MIL living downstairs in a suite is reasonable. Since you get along well with her I woukd jump on this opportunity and know she won't live forever but that your FAMILY financial situation will be forever enhanced. Don't blow it. Without knowing more factors I would agree with this. If you don't currently hate your MIL and she is mostly tolerable then I would look at it as an opportunity for your family overall. Just get the estate planning/ lifelong lease/ transfers all done prior to making the move. That will give you plenty of time. You already have a house full of girls, what's one more?  |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:39:44 AM EDT
[#16]
Rule of thumb: FOUR months. After a death like that (Usually a spouse) people think: Should I sell the house and get a condo, apartment, move in with the kids, move back up north, etc. NO. No big decisions for FOUR months. Decisions made sooner are usually regretted. Tell wife and MIL that you will decide after four months from the death.
That applies to ALL three of you, not just you. Don't let the 'dropping house prices' argument sway you. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:40:05 AM EDT
[#17]
Sounds like everybody involved needs to shut up, take a deep breath and NOT CHANGE A SINGLE THING.
Too much emotion all around to make any major decisions. Revisit it in 6 months. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:41:06 AM EDT
[#18]
My MIL developed dementia and Alzheimers. My wife and I (No kids) brought her in to live with us. She lived another 15 years. Was it a burden sometimes? Yes, a hassle, yes. Would we do it again. Without a doubt. My wife and her mother were close (Father/husband died), and it brought joy to my wife and her mother to be together.
We managed through good times and bad, much more good, but at the end, there were no regrets and we counted it as a blessing to be able to care for her. It brought my wife and I closer. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:41:26 AM EDT
[#19]
Boy this is a tough one.
One thing to consider is that, if push comes to shove, the MIL can raise the "this is my house" or "we gave you this house" card. So potentially consider how "transactional" the relationship is. My in-laws never do anything out of the goodness of their heart. Everything they do "for" us is merely ammo/leverage to get us to do something lopsided for them in the future. I did have to live with my in-laws for short period. Worst period of my life but also my in-laws are odd. My wife and my MIL are like best friends but there were points in our marriage where I made it super (like I will divorce you if this continues) clear that parts of their relationship had to change because she was married to me now. I would make it abundantly clear that while her mom is her mom, you're her husband and that when you said "I do", you picked sides. Doesn't mean there isn't friendly cooperation but again, if push comes to shove, your wife needs to make a decision. Part of the agreement to move in needs to be full recognition of whose side she's on. I can't imagine a situation going south more quick than a wife who moves in with her mother and turns it into a "gang up on the husband" circus. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:41:55 AM EDT
[#20]
Sounds like the MIL may be overwhelmed by the thought of living alone and having to take care of the house. And your wife is sympathetic to her needs and want's to help her, she grew up living with her, you didn't. Is this becoming an ultimatum?, move in or I'll sell the house? Too much too soon. If so perhaps what's best, mom buys a condo with no maintenance, invests the profit from the home, wills or loans it to you to buy your own home when you're ready.
Move in with MIL it's still her house, she'll never leave unless she go's to a nursing home and your family dynamic is forever changed as long as you live there. If you're truly uncomfortable living with her it will undoubtedly affect your relationship with your wife and family. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:42:01 AM EDT
[#21]
1. Doing it quick is a deal breaker. There must be a time to consider implications. The house will sell in 6 months to a year too.
2. Buy a book on setting boundaries. If your MIL truly is a fantastic woman then you can possibly make it work but, carefully laying out your concerns and insisting on boundaries is critical. 3. Only if you can get to a place where you’re convinced your non-negotiable boundaries won’t be violated and you’ve essentially created a constitution and possibly legal documents around certain eventualities should you proceed. Examples of boundaries that must be resolved: 1. Whose house is it and therefore who’s authorized to make changes to it? 2. What happens if she starts dating again? 3. What authority does she have to discipline your children? 4. What happens if you proceed, you become miserable as you predicted and need to make a change? Do you sell the home? What happens to equity? Etc. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:42:36 AM EDT
[#22]
Quoted: My wife is really upset because she says I'm making her choose between her husband and her mother... She made that decision when she married you. She is wrong to force this on you. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:42:52 AM EDT
[#23]
My father in law moved in with us. It's been working out great for the last three years
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:47:37 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Tell them both to wait a few months. No harm in waiting and no opportunity lost in waiting. A month after dad dies is way too soon to upend everybody’s life without being sure it’s the best choice. This is a logical idea. However you are the only one in the situation that is thinking logically. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:48:01 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Only an asshole would make a post that long and expect us to read it all. So yes. I was gonna say this but I actually read the whole thing and changed my comment to “you’re fucked.” |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:48:10 AM EDT
[#26]
Another tax consideration for you, OP.
If you buy the house from your MIL, your basis in it will be what you paid for it. When you go to sell it, you'll add any expenses related to the purchase and the cost of improvements to get your adjusted basis. Your adjusted basis and any costs of selling it will be subtracted from your proceeds to determine your gain. You'll pay capital gains taxes on that gain, minus the $500,000 exclusion if you meet the criteria (there may also be other factors, such as depreciation if you ever rent it or use it for a home office). If you own it less than a year, you'll have a short-term capital gain and will be taxed at your ordinary tax rate. If you don't live in it for at least two years out of the last five, you generally can't exclude the $500,000, unless there are other unforeseen circumstances which make it necessary to sell the house. If you wait to inherit it once she passes away, your basis is the Fair Market Value on the date you inherit it and the capital gain will automatically become a long-term gain, even if you sell it the next day. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:49:39 AM EDT
[#27]
Did you say 3 car garage?
Pics of MIL not loading. But seriously, is there room on the property for an accessory dwelling? That way she won’t be in the physical house? I mean sometimes you need to go downstairs with your Johnson hanging out to grab a brewski |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:49:55 AM EDT
[#28]
Don't fucking do it.
This is coming from a guy who moved to a new state to help care for his parents when one fell ill (Alzheimers) and lived in the same house with them for a while. And who currently lives 150 yards from his parents and is now in process building a separated MIL suite addition for his MIL. I have taken drastic and unusual steps to care for my parents and in-laws, and I still would not live under the same roof as them unless at utter last resort. That loss of privacy-space changes everything about your own family dynamic. I'll talk on the phone with your wife if necessary to convince her lol |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:50:09 AM EDT
[#29]
In our case, my parents explicitly told us, either singly (due to death) or together, they would never move in with us. It was their feeling that once you grow up and marry you should cleave to your husband and having parental figures in the house all the time can cause problems.
In the case of my husbands mother, she's a nut case and my hubby would NEVER even consider having her live here for any reason. My BIL moved her in to their property and is having nothing but problems and is now divorced, not solely because of her, but she didn't make things easier. That's my .02 cents... for what it's worth. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:50:27 AM EDT
[#30]
It sounds like you’re gonna end up paying for the wife and kids to live in that house, one way or another.
Also, you’ve been in that “twin” since you were 30. I’m betting she wasn’t planning on being there at 40 regardless of how much you like it. How long until you can realistically provide her this ideal house that just fell into your lap? |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:50:45 AM EDT
[#31]
Pics of mother-in-law?
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:54:59 AM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted: As someone who had their aging, disabled parents move in with them, do it. Seriously. There will be times that it is incredibly taxing, stressful, and outright agitating. BUT - the time that your kids spend with their grandmother is simply not something you can ever get back. Extended family living situations have been the norm throughout most of history. Yes, there are downsides, but the upsides are worth it IMHO. You only have one family, and one shot at making the most of the time you have with them. Aside from the financial real estate windfall that you will gain, having your MIL at home is actually a huge bonus to your kids. Like I said, you can’t get that time back. I wish I had more time with my grandparents. When mom and dad get annoying, I go to another room. Simple as that. Same as if you and your wife are disagreeing. To be honest, it works well for us. They can’t do the physical things anymore, and are on a fixed budget. I/we do the heavy lifting, pay the bills, etc - they pick up some groceries and stuff, and are there for our son. My dad and my son are like Calvin and Hobbes. I gotta keep them both out of trouble. Somehow, I got two extra kids. But that’s the circle of life man, our parents kept us alive and raised us, now it’s our turn to return the favor. Theres far more pluses than minuses. Yeah, privacy is lacking, but when you have kids, there’s no privacy anyways. Embrace it dude. Don’t think twice. Do it for your kids. I agree 100%. My grandfather (dads father) lived with us for like 10 years when I was growing up until he passed. I learned so much from him during this time frame. I try to be the grandfather that he was to me to my grandchildren today. He really shaped my life. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:56:36 AM EDT
[#33]
I think it's a great opportunity. The financial burden it will lift would outweigh a lot of short term discomfort (considering MIL age). I would hire an attorney though and get it all legalized and mapped out. Also discuss what happens to MIL when she needs more care than you both can provide. This move not only secures your future but sets your children up for a brighter future in the meantime. I don't think your an asshole though. Totally normal concerns and worries for certain. However the two separate living facilities (upper/lower) should alleviate most concerns. As someone who had their aging, disabled parents move in with them, do it. Seriously. There will be times that it is incredibly taxing, stressful, and outright agitating. BUT - the time that your kids spend with their grandmother is simply not something you can ever get back. Extended family living situations have been the norm throughout most of history. Yes, there are downsides, but the upsides are worth it IMHO. You only have one family, and one shot at making the most of the time you have with them. Aside from the financial real estate windfall that you will gain, having your MIL at home is actually a huge bonus to your kids. Like I said, you can’t get that time back. I wish I had more time with my grandparents. When mom and dad get annoying, I go to another room. Simple as that. Same as if you and your wife are disagreeing. To be honest, it works well for us. They can’t do the physical things anymore, and are on a fixed budget. I/we do the heavy lifting, pay the bills, etc - they pick up some groceries and stuff, and are there for our son. My dad and my son are like Calvin and Hobbes. I gotta keep them both out of trouble. Somehow, I got two extra kids. But that’s the circle of life man, our parents kept us alive and raised us, now it’s our turn to return the favor. Theres far more pluses than minuses. Yeah, privacy is lacking, but when you have kids, there’s no privacy anyways. Embrace it dude. Don’t think twice. Do it for your kids. Lots of wisdom here. Also agree with not making major decisions this soon after a life changing event. Understand she's lonely and scared, too. Don't dismiss that. Bitching about reading a few paragraphs on a bulletin board is nothing short of bizarre. Go watch tv for fucks sake. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 10:57:26 AM EDT
[#34]
"For a lot of reasons, it's a great idea - financially it's a no-brainer and we'd have a single family house in a dream neighborhood and the girls would have space, our dog, etc - we'd even have a babysitter there 24/7 for the girls." It's a no brainer for guessing 90% of the people here. Get over yourself before it's too late and quit being selfish. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:01:58 AM EDT
[#35]
We all have to make decisions based on what is presented us.
My decision would lean towards what is financially best for my family long term. Or you could eject and pay half your money to have your Ex wife and Ex MIL living in a paid off house. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:05:14 AM EDT
[#36]
Key point for those saying yes to living with MIL.
HE is moving into HER house and that is a huge difference than the opposite scenario. He will never change that fact. Yes a Husband/father should make sacrifices but family isnt a suicide pact. He has a right to his own wants and needs. At her age, she could live for another decade or more. Imagine skulking off to the mancave (if lucky) for a decade waiting for it to be "his" house. Meanwhile his kids are now well grown. Tall fences make for great neighbors. Tough call. I recommend to wait at least 6 months as others have. Living with someone changes everything. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:05:15 AM EDT
[#37]
Quoted: My wife is really upset because she says I'm making her choose between her husband and her mother - I lost my cool when she said that and said, "So, who's it going to be - me or your mother?!" Did she not make that choice by marrying you? If that wasn't clear, then you two have some bigger problems. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:05:49 AM EDT
[#38]
If she has her own suite, for me would be a easy decision for me.
They help she would be would be a blessing. Set up some reasonable boundaries. A go for me. But I'm older and my younger self would have said no though, but that's why I'm divorced in our short marriage. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:05:50 AM EDT
[#39]
I allowed my MIL to live with us for 6 years. For those 6 years I felt like I didn't have a home. I admit a lot of that could be from hangups I have. I felt like I had to alter my habits and behavior the same way you do when you have an overnight guest, except that they stayed for 6 years.
My wife couldn't understand and it placed a tremendous amount of stress on our marriage. FWIW, I'm a very private person who finds most social situations uncomfortable. I felt I no longer had my home as a refuge. YMMV, of course. Your situation does have some positives. One of them being the separate quarters. Do you think you MIL would stay there unless "invited" upstairs, or would she pop in anytime? One thing is for certain, if the answer is going to be NO, you have to tell your MIL, you can't expect to put that one on your wife. Even if your wife is not onboard with sharing a house with her mother, it's not likely she will fess up to that. She will expect you to be the bad guy. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:10:06 AM EDT
[#40]
My grandmother moved in with us when I was a kid after my grandfather passed. Not right away, probably a couple years between. Don’t remember it ever being an issue.
I would have reservations about doing it so soon but not overall. Sounds like she is a good MIL and grandparent. I’d do it. You’re either the head of the household or you’re not, regardless of who lives there. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:15:07 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I think it's a great opportunity. The financial burden it will lift would outweigh a lot of short term discomfort (considering MIL age). I would hire an attorney though and get it all legalized and mapped out. Also discuss what happens to MIL when she needs more care than you both can provide. This move not only secures your future but sets your children up for a brighter future in the meantime. I don't think your an asshole though. Totally normal concerns and worries for certain. However the two separate living facilities (upper/lower) should alleviate most concerns. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:17:50 AM EDT
[#42]
I would do it.
Don't be so uptight that any little issues with your MIL bother you more than it should. Life is too short, and if this is the biggest problem in your life, you have a pretty good life. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:18:14 AM EDT
[#43]
No. You’re the man. You’ve made your decision. She made hers when she got married.
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:18:38 AM EDT
[#44]
How about if she gets to move her mother in, you get to move a girlfriend in.
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:19:00 AM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Key point for those saying yes to living with MIL. HE is moving into HER house and that is a huge difference than the opposite scenario. I think a lot of posters are being short sighted and looking strictly at the financial aspect. Fuck that! You cant put a price on freedom and your own financial independence. Anything OP wants to do around the house he would have to ask permission and the MIL will always hold it over his head that she owns the house. And you can bet she will always mutter under her breath about "well that's not the way my husband would have done it" Early in my relationship with my wife we lived with her mother as a way to make things easier for all involved. It was one of the most important and painful life lessons for me and my wife. My MIL was jealous of the time we spent alone, she made a point to somehow only eat the food we brought into the house, including any leftovers from a dinner out. She didnt like the fact we showered together, she would complain that we were too loud having sex  WTF! There is no way you could hear us from across the house unless you were standing outside our bedroom door. She would insert herself into every conversation, she would always have an opinion on everything we did.OP, if this is how you want to live the next 10-15 years then go for it. Also, be ready after the first big fight/argument with her that she says maybe this arrangement isn't going to work and you all need to move out. Where will that leave you? |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:19:19 AM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No, your not the asshole. Here is how I would approach this and present it to the wife and MIL. Its only been 4 weeks, your mother needs time to grieve and adjust not compensate for her loss by having us move in. We all need to take a step back and let things happen in their own time. Right now you mother is grieving and lonely and needs to get through this phase, we can revisit this in a year and see if this is still what she wants and if its best for all parties. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:21:28 AM EDT
[#47]
I don't think you are an asshole but you might be wrong. Just my opinion that you take care of family at the end of they want or need it. Family bond being as strong as possible is best for your future as well as your kids someday.
What I don't know is the relationship with mother in law. Is she kind and respectful? Is her mentality a good or decent influence for your kids? I would generally support this move if so. I'd also lay down serious boundaries and expectations and I'd be absolutely clear that if they are not met I'd be moving my family out of there. So to me you need to be more specific. What exactly are you afraid of happening? What will change? This is in the best interest of your family and hard times are in the future most likely. What makes you believe this situation will get out of hand ? |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:24:56 AM EDT
[#48]
You are being gifted a once in a life time opportunity. I get that it may be a bit tough but the reality is the life expectancy of a female is like 80 yo. At worst you’d live with her for 5-7 years.
As to the poster that said they are minipulating you. That’s incorrect. It’s her house if she wants to sell it she can. Has nothing to do with op. She giving them a huge fucking deal where the op can now generate generation wealth |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:27:10 AM EDT
[#49]
The decision may be right or wrong, and only you have any personal knowledge as to how it might go.
My only position is this: don't get manipulated into a hasty decision by emotional blackmail. |
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Posted: 5/5/2024 11:28:14 AM EDT
[#50]
My mil lived with us for a couple years out of our many together.
Ftr I love the woman and think I lucked out so far as in laws go. That said..... It got to a point where I had to have "the talk" with her. Reminding her whose house she was living in, and that her presence didn't automatically include her in conversations was tough, but necessary. I was ultimately able to get her to understand I didn't appreciate being teamed up on in every conversation I had with my wife. Once you move in with HER, though......yeah. It WILL affect the relationship, I'd at least wait a bit until everyone has had time to process and grieve. |
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