Florida, so the snek is bad snek - Page 3

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Posted: 2/11/2019 11:55:09 PM EDT

[#1]

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They're ambush predators. Once a big one latches on its really fucking hard to get away... those short teeth you're taking about are curved to the rear and theres a lot of them.

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That would be the time to use the human skills of targeting its eyes, prying its jaws open, knifing the thing like a sewing machine, pounding its skull with a rock, etc.

Maybe I am totally missing how quick they are, but it seems that if the thing got a hold of your leg you'd have some time to work the problem, kill that motherfucker, and get your damn leg extracted.

Posted: 2/11/2019 11:56:19 PM EDT

[#2]

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Hey Dipshit OP, are you trying to spell SNAKE, and can’t?

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Full retard has been achieved! You need a timeout Dr.

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:32:31 AM EDT

[#3]

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Quoted:
That would be the time to use the human skills of targeting its eyes, prying its jaws open, knifing the thing like a sewing machine, pounding its skull with a rock, etc.

Maybe I am totally missing how quick they are, but it seems that if the thing got a hold of your leg you'd have some time to work the problem, kill that motherfucker, and get your damn leg extracted.

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They catch and eat deer... they're faster than you think.

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:34:27 AM EDT

[#4]

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https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/mutZ_8e2kEXJwO0316FdYfGqGAPsFK9ur5Op1yIMO8zOGmbgDqIDGZMBt9JSxb3QYRTG

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Lots of boots and belts!

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:37:13 AM EDT

[#5]

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You broke into my house, stole my property, murdered my servants, and my PETS! And that is what grieves me the most! You killed my snake. Thorgrim is beside himself with grief! He raised that snake from the time it was born.

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Finally! That took way too long, y’all.

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:38:39 AM EDT

[#6]

Longest snakes in the world. Anacondas are bulkier but way less aggressive.

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:41:55 AM EDT

[#7]

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Quoted:
Hey Dipshit OP, are you trying to spell SNAKE, and can’t?

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No wonder you're a doctor. You seem smart.

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:45:39 AM EDT

[#8]

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Might be able to get a hat band also.

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You could make Mexican Cowboy-Nazi boots for the Wookie!

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:46:47 AM EDT

[#9]

I'd be royally pissed off living down there and finding those damned snakes.

Florida needs to wake the hell up and let the rednecks loose. A few snake drives would be a good start. Need to train up some dogs, too, smart dogs that know to bark and keep their distance.

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:50:21 AM EDT

[#10]

Quote History

Quoted:
That would be the time to use the human skills of targeting its eyes, prying its jaws open, knifing the thing like a sewing machine, pounding its skull with a rock, etc.

Maybe I am totally missing how quick they are, but it seems that if the thing got a hold of your leg you'd have some time to work the problem, kill that motherfucker, and get your damn leg extracted.

View Quote

It sounds like you think it’ll bite your leg, then start trying to swallow you.

You don’t think it would bite, then wrap, then squeeze in less than a second?

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:56:03 AM EDT

[#11]

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It sounds like you think it’ll bite your leg, then start trying to swallow you.

You don’t think it would bite, then wrap, then squeeze in less than a second?

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Actually based on what mine did to the bunnies* this evening it would bite, pull you off your feet, spin you around, flip you over, whack you on the ground, and then wrap you up.

*Bunnies were already dead when fed to the snake.

Posted: 2/12/2019 12:57:54 AM EDT

[#12]

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They are wiping out swamp rabbits and other small mammals.

The young have decimated the grub worm population.

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Not swamp bunnies.

Y’all, we need to get rid of these things. For the bunnies with short little ears.

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:15:45 AM EDT

[#13]

Quote History

Quoted:
I'd be royally pissed off living down there and finding those damned snakes.

Florida needs to wake the hell up and let the rednecks loose. A few snake drives would be a good start. Need to train up some dogs, too, smart dogs that know to bark and keep their distance.

View Quote

LoL.

Yer Dag, he’s a good swimmer?

See the dark brown area that fills up ~70% of South Florida? Snek Country. There’s only 2 roads E-W, none roads N-S

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:22:48 AM EDT

[#14]

Is that real????

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:28:30 AM EDT

[#15]

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Is that real????

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Yeah, but it’s just a baby.

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:36:21 AM EDT

[#16]

This is why I live in cold places. You don't get bullshit like that in cold places.

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:40:48 AM EDT

[#17]

The photo posted here is real. Look closely. You can see the decomposition and broken leg. Nat Geo was involved in that one.

The fake one was an anaconda from South America if I remember right.

The woman one was real. A 54 year old lady it snatched right from her yard.

It's not the bite, it's the coiling. By the time you realize it bit you, you have about three seconds before it squeezes the air from your lungs. The weight on this one is greatly exaggerated, but even the rock isn't going to peel a 200 pound 20 foot snake off him once it gets hold, even if it doesn't eat him.

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:40:52 AM EDT

[#18]

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That’s a really nice set of boots in the making, right there.

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Quoted:
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/mutZ_8e2kEXJwO0316FdYfGqGAPsFK9ur5Op1yIMO8zOGmbgDqIDGZMBt9JSxb3QYRTG

That’s a really nice set of boots in the making, right there.

That is what I am saying!

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:45:31 AM EDT

[#19]

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Quoted:
But how the fuck does it "catch" the human? I mean, it's a constrictor, right? So it has really tiny fangs. Wouldn't a person be able to just jump the fuck out of the way before it could throw those coils on??

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@ludder093

OK looking at the pic again and closer I concede that you're correct and it very likely couldn't eat that man but it's not too far from what it could ingest. The body of the snake could easily contain that man, it likely wouldn't be able to get past the shoulders. It's not uncommon for it to happen though including full grown/slighter build men.

But how the fuck does it "catch" the human? I mean, it's a constrictor, right? So it has really tiny fangs. Wouldn't a person be able to just jump the fuck out of the way before it could throw those coils on??

They can be faster than you'd think when striking. They grab hold and immediately start coiling around, how are you going to be able to "jump" when you've got a couple of hundred pounds of snake clamped on you? Their fangs are "tiny" only in comparison with venomous snakes, they've still got plenty of bite there to hang on with, and they're angled so they can't be easily dislodged.

Posted: 2/12/2019 1:59:22 AM EDT

[#20]

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Quoted:
They can be faster than you'd think when striking. They grab hold and immediately start coiling around, how are you going to be able to "jump" when you've got a couple of hundred pounds of snake clamped on you? Their fangs are "tiny" only in comparison with venomous snakes, they've still got plenty of bite there to hang on with, and they're angled so they can't be easily dislodged.

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Quoted:

Quoted:

@ludder093

OK looking at the pic again and closer I concede that you're correct and it very likely couldn't eat that man but it's not too far from what it could ingest. The body of the snake could easily contain that man, it likely wouldn't be able to get past the shoulders. It's not uncommon for it to happen though including full grown/slighter build men.

But how the fuck does it "catch" the human? I mean, it's a constrictor, right? So it has really tiny fangs. Wouldn't a person be able to just jump the fuck out of the way before it could throw those coils on??

They can be faster than you'd think when striking. They grab hold and immediately start coiling around, how are you going to be able to "jump" when you've got a couple of hundred pounds of snake clamped on you? Their fangs are "tiny" only in comparison with venomous snakes, they've still got plenty of bite there to hang on with, and they're angled so they can't be easily dislodged.

Posted: 2/12/2019 2:02:35 AM EDT

[#21]

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I hope you're joking.

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He's not joking.

Posted: 2/12/2019 2:03:57 AM EDT

[#22]

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Quoted:
I'd be royally pissed off living down there and finding those damned snakes.

Florida needs to wake the hell up and let the rednecks loose. A few snake drives would be a good start. Need to train up some dogs, too, smart dogs that know to bark and keep their distance.

View Quote

Failed To Load Title

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43RID9cIEAE

Posted: 2/12/2019 7:15:08 AM EDT

[#23]

Quote History

Quoted:

It sounds like you think it'll bite your leg, then start trying to swallow you.

You don't think it would bite, then wrap, then squeeze in less than a second?

View Quote View All Quotes

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Quoted:

It sounds like you think it'll bite your leg, then start trying to swallow you.

You don't think it would bite, then wrap, then squeeze in less than a second?

I did...until today. Damn.

Quoted:

Actually based on what mine did to the bunnies* this evening it would bite, pull you off your feet, spin you around, flip you over, whack you on the ground, and then wrap you up.

*Bunnies were already dead when fed to the snake.

So....yeah fuck that.

If I'm ever in the woods in FL I'll be doing magdumps at every snake-shaped fallen branch and log I see.

Posted: 2/12/2019 8:06:59 AM EDT

[#24]

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If I'm ever in the woods in FL I'll be doing magdumps at every snake-shaped fallen branch and log I see.

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Now, young Grasshopper, you understand what it takes to be FloridaMan.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:08:44 PM EDT

[#25]

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Quoted:
They're ambush predators. Once a big one latches on its really fucking hard to get away... those short teeth you're taking about are curved to the rear and theres a lot of them.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
But how the fuck does it "catch" the human? I mean, it's a constrictor, right? So it has really tiny fangs. Wouldn't a person be able to just jump the fuck out of the way before it could throw those coils on??

They're ambush predators. Once a big one latches on its really fucking hard to get away... those short teeth you're taking about are curved to the rear and theres a lot of them.

Exactly. Once they latch on you pretty much have to force whatever they bite into their mouth while prying the jaws open. Imagine you are out barrimundi fishing (or whatever) and stop by the creekside. You have an IQ of about 75, and never even notice this...

Whoomp there it is.

Stupid pokes Anaconda

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux8O2xI1qV4

Or if you and your pals really need a new set of boots.

Hunting python by leg At Africa (Anaconda )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX9SMrvyMGQ

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:10:01 PM EDT

[#26]

Florida will not just have an open season them. Why is beyond me.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:10:41 PM EDT

[#27]

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Could you possibly find a smaller picture?

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Posted: 2/12/2019 4:11:44 PM EDT

[#28]

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Quoted:
I'd be royally pissed off living down there and finding those damned snakes.

Florida needs to wake the hell up and let the rednecks loose. A few snake drives would be a good start. Need to train up some dogs, too, smart dogs that know to bark and keep their distance.

View Quote

Latest News :- Heroic Man Saves A Deer From A Python

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntJQDPRFeL8

Man shoots massive python in head to save herd of goats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7mkDaEhcIQ

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:17:02 PM EDT

[#29]

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Now, young Grasshopper, you understand what it takes to be FloridaMan.

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If I'm ever in the woods in FL I'll be doing magdumps at every snake-shaped fallen branch and log I see.

Now, young Grasshopper, you understand what it takes to be FloridaMan.

And it is not like it is a standard you can meet and be GTG. That shit is always changing. Before it was killer mangrove monkeys. Then irrate iquanas. This time it is pythons. Next time it’ll be a large number of mambas. After that who knows, kamodo dragons?

Florida plays for keeps.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:18:29 PM EDT

[#30]

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https://memegenerator.net/img/images/300x300/14836030.jpg

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Lmfao

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:22:49 PM EDT

[#31]

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Florida will not just have an open season them. Why is beyond me.

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Can you even just go out and shoot them?

Everything I’ve looked at they are catching or trapping them.

Failed To Load Title

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn82CKFiMU0

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:26:45 PM EDT

[#32]

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And it is not like it is a standard you can meet and be GTG. That shit is always changing. Before it was killer mangrove monkeys. Then irrate iquanas. This time it is pythons. Next time it’ll be a large number of mambas. After that who knows, kamodo dragons?

Florida plays for keeps.

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There are wild monitor lizards in Florida.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:28:21 PM EDT

[#33]

Time to reintroduce Jaguars.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7O0y1g8FGM

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:30:38 PM EDT

[#34]

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Time to reintroduce Jaguars.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7O0y1g8FGM

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You already have florida panthers. Hell there probably are jaguars there too.

I remember reading a comcast cable worker was bitten by a green mamba a few years ago near Hollywood Fl I think in the yard working on somebody’s cable.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:30:51 PM EDT

[#35]

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Florida will not just have an open season them. Why is beyond me.

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It's always open season on invasive species... Go on down to south Fl and go snake hunting. Everyone's welcome to do their part.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:32:16 PM EDT

[#36]

56K Beware

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:36:44 PM EDT

[#37]

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It's always open season on invasive species... Go on down to south Fl and go snake hunting. Everyone's welcome to do their part.

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Florida will not just have an open season them. Why is beyond me.

It's always open season on invasive species... Go on down to south Fl and go snake hunting. Everyone's welcome to do their part.

Can they hunt them as in ride around blasting pythons or do they have to be caught?

If you could go after them like they do nutria that would be a blast.

Nutria Hunting in Louisiana swamp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u60Ux5PRHKA

Louisiana Airboat Action with Bruce Mitchell The Alligator Man - "Field Test"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FrhxKrHAKA

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:39:02 PM EDT

[#38]

Typical stupid dipshit camera tricks.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:51:14 PM EDT

[#39]

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Quoted:
That would be the time to use the human skills of targeting its eyes, prying its jaws open, knifing the thing like a sewing machine, pounding its skull with a rock, etc.

Maybe I am totally missing how quick they are, but it seems that if the thing got a hold of your leg you'd have some time to work the problem, kill that motherfucker, and get your damn leg extracted.

View Quote

I had a 12’ Aftlrican Rock Python.

Ultra aggressive. He was a 40 pounding snake and when he grabbed the gauntlet gloves I had to use when moving him it felt like my hand was in a vise and it was wrapped around my arm and shoulder before I could react.

My better half was able to unwrap him from the tail.

Posted: 2/12/2019 4:53:46 PM EDT

[#40]

Unfortunately those huge snakes are becoming more common in FL now. The ones big enough to eat a human big...

Posted: 2/12/2019 5:04:23 PM EDT

[#41]

They're right in there boys; go get 'em.

Take as many as you want.

Posted: 2/12/2019 5:17:52 PM EDT

[#42]

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You broke into my house, stole my property, murdered my servants, and my PETS! And that is what grieves me the most! You killed my snake. Thorgrim is beside himself with grief! He raised that snake from the time it was born.

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Bravo, sir...

Posted: 2/12/2019 5:22:01 PM EDT

[#43]

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Damn, I occasionally hunt hogs and deer in Immokalee.

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Can't imagine there's many left

Posted: 2/12/2019 5:22:40 PM EDT

[#44]

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I hope you're joking.

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Pretty much the kind of snake that has been verified as having eating humans.

Posted: 2/12/2019 5:24:07 PM EDT

[#45]

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They're right in there boys; go get 'em.

Take as many as you want.

https://i.imgur.com/oF5HOma.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/pUVCtpn.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/NDQZ3gd.jpg

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Posted: 2/12/2019 5:25:30 PM EDT

[#46]

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https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/mutZ_8e2kEXJwO0316FdYfGqGAPsFK9ur5Op1yIMO8zOGmbgDqIDGZMBt9JSxb3QYRTG

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That’s a lot of boots, belts and maybe a vest or three.

Posted: 2/12/2019 9:07:50 PM EDT

[#47]

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LoL.

Yer Dag, he’s a good swimmer?

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/aerial-view-florida-everglades-swamp-78454541.jpg

See the dark brown area that fills up ~70% of South Florida? Snek Country. There’s only 2 roads E-W, none roads N-S
http://cdn.images.dailystar.co.uk/dynamic/1/photos/362000/Satellite-of-Florida-597362.jpg

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Quoted:

Quoted:
I'd be royally pissed off living down there and finding those damned snakes.

Florida needs to wake the hell up and let the rednecks loose. A few snake drives would be a good start. Need to train up some dogs, too, smart dogs that know to bark and keep their distance.

LoL.

Yer Dag, he’s a good swimmer?

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/aerial-view-florida-everglades-swamp-78454541.jpg

See the dark brown area that fills up ~70% of South Florida? Snek Country. There’s only 2 roads E-W, none roads N-S
http://cdn.images.dailystar.co.uk/dynamic/1/photos/362000/Satellite-of-Florida-597362.jpg

I’m in manatee county(south shore of Tampa bay) and there’s been two caught here this year.