"Oh, you two want to show up late for duty? That's ok, I got something for you..."

That's a ROTC uniform.  I would bet he never actually became an officer.

Or those two are making bank.

But probably not.

I made over a grand the first Xmas break that I could pull NCO duty.  200 for xmas and 300 each for new years eve and day, plus about 100 for each normal shift. When your 2 week check is less than 600, it's a great deal.

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He did. He was a med service officer in 1-187 back in 2010-2011 timeframe. I've seen her in person.

Did the camera at ten or fifteen... hundred pounds?

Damn.

Just...

Damn.

She must have an amazing personality.

Lol she was big and obviously ugly as fuck.

Did she come with a lot of land?

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40 acres and a plow

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Just to give her a hug, he'd have to mark his spot and go around the other side.

Chad!

That is fucking awesome!

Ha ha!

The unseen dangers of illegal buffer racing.

Three pilots died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Air Force pilot fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said. 'It did make light; you may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Army pilot reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said, 'they had a ring to them, you may pass through the pearly gates'
.
The Naval Aviator started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties…
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?' ....the Naval Aviator replied, 'These are Carols.'

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I never said that it was during combat, or that I was in the military at the time.

Merry Christmas you fuckers!

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Dude, during DS we were in MOPP 3 as we approached the LOD.  Spent 4 days in that shit.  Same suit for 4 days.  

If you joined the military for money...

Love it. Should say Stay Frosty St Nick

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Was your skin dyed black from the charcoal?

Were you caught in the torrential downpours on the second day?

We are in a desert, where rainfall is rare.  The Army gets there to wage war and it fucking poured.

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Some of these are brutal

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Does anyone have the Till Van Halen meme?

Sperm Cookie...  

8 UP!



The number is for the hours it took to fly across the ocean, which is represented by the blue.

The arrow is the shaft you got up your backside when you got assigned to the 8th ID.

In all honesty I loved being stationed in Mainz with the 8th ID, I can't think of anywhere better to be stationed in Germany for a combat arms soldier.  Most of the places they stuck tankers and crunchies were middle of nowhere posts.

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probably beat the hell out of being in Baumholder with 1/13

We used to call them the Ate up division....

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I thought we were doing funny, not fact?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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He left out the parts where he gets a company grade article 15 for attempting to use the spoon anyway, "failure to follow orders" and "gross disrespect to a senior noncommissioned officer by action" resulting in the private losing his stripe, docked 7 days pay, and given 14 days extra duty and restriction.

And where after 59 minutes his platoon leader offers up (without giving credit to the private) his suggestion of using the spoon - and is immediately awarded an impact army commendation medal.

Then, with much confusion, the broth is eaten frantically in the remaining minute - using spoons, forks, knives, mallets, the operators vehicle maintenance kit from a M151a1 "jeep" (which is the only tool the supply sergeant is willing to issue for this purpose) and bare hands...  Some soldiers resorting to slurping using their mouths directly in the pot.

Upon hearing of the successful eating of the broth, the battalion commander comes in to congratulate the company in a special formation, 2 minutes before the end of the duty day, by giving a 90 minute speech, complete with power point slides, on their continuing pattern of excellence.

Culminating with the presentation to the company commander, who never left his office, a bronze star*  "for inculcating an atmosphere of mission first, no matter the cost, while placing the welfare of his people at the apex of his priority pyramid"

*a bronze star can be awarded without V device (V for valor) "for service" because it is technically a combat theater of operations

Six months later, with much fanfare, the 2nd lieutenant platoon leader is awarded $10,000 by the Army Ideas for Excellence Program when his suggestion to "utilize a spoon when consuming broth" is instituted army-wide.  The plt ldr still doesn't credit the private (who has just earned back his single stripe) and spends the money on video games.

Although there have been numerous meetings of generals, field grade officers, defense contractors, and military industry lobbyists at special conferences in Las Vegas, the issue of why everybody has to circle around and eat broth from the same pot still hasn't been resolved.  The word "bowls" is not allowed to be mentioned during these discussions.