How Parents Are Robbing Their Children of Adulthood - "Snowplow Parents" - Page 2

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How Parents Are Robbing Their Children of Adulthood - "Snowplow Parents" (Page 2 of 2)

Posted: 3/19/2019 10:39:44 AM EDT

[#1]

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With our kids, dinner is dinner. Whatever my wife and I wanted, that's what's on the kids' plates.

If they don't like it, well, tough shit. No child ever starved to death when food was available. And there's no snacks if dinner isn't eaten. It goes in the fridge for later if they get hungry.

Some people actually find this horrific.

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I like your style. Thats how it was on my house growing up. Be thankful you have food not upset because its not what you wanted. When you are truely hungry most things taste good.

Posted: 3/19/2019 10:48:07 AM EDT

[#2]

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its like these parents are trying re-do their own shitty lives through their children.

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The thing is most of these parents are very wealthy, and becoming successful and wealthy isn't done by giving up and running away at the first sign of adversity. It used to be that parents would teach their children the same lessons that they (the parents) learned over their lives and the children would emulate the parents. Now it seems that the parents are raising the children to be completely opposite. It really is a strange phenomenon.

Posted: 3/19/2019 11:00:30 AM EDT

[#3]

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The thing is most of these parents are very wealthy, and becoming successful and wealthy isn't done by giving up and running away at the first sign of adversity. It used to be that parents would teach their children the same lessons that they (the parents) learned over their lives and the children would emulate the parents. Now it seems that the parents are raising the children to be completely opposite. It really is a strange phenomenon.

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Yes, resilience is a key quality of successful people. But they don't always consciously realize that and thus they don't train their kids to be resilient.

And many of these "wealthy successful people" inherited wealth, or got it via acting, or other ways that aren't as strengthening as building a business.

Posted: 3/19/2019 11:34:30 AM EDT

[#4]

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My dad told me "when you turn 18, it's off to college or off to the Marine Corps. College or Corps." He taught me to repeat that on command: "at 18, it's College or Corps."

I was 6 years old.

So I went to college, then joined the Army. I sure showed him!!

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So you're dad really didn't teach you critical thinking then... you chose Army

. I kid, I kid..........

Posted: 3/19/2019 11:37:06 AM EDT

[#5]

Kids need some dirt in their diet

Posted: 3/19/2019 11:52:13 AM EDT

[#6]

Stupid article.

Of course I am going to help my kids as much as I can . What the hell other REAL purpose do I have?

BTW.....all my kids are thriving, and my youngest .......18YO and is a sr. in COLLEGE! How is that for plowing a bit while your kid is kicking ass ?!

Posted: 3/19/2019 12:00:09 PM EDT

[#7]

FPNI

Posted: 3/19/2019 12:17:05 PM EDT

[#8]

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Stupid article. Parents have always tried to give their kids a head start. Nothing new.

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Yeah, I remember my dad telling me he was going to break my plate when I turned 18 and always reminding me where the recruiters office was located.

Posted: 3/19/2019 12:24:04 PM EDT

[#9]

Mine have always been there if I needed support. But they let me fuck up on my own, they also raised someone with common sense and brain. Two things which are absent in today's youth.

I can also use a pen and pencil to write with.

Posted: 3/19/2019 12:26:33 PM EDT

[#10]

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Who the fuck doesn't like sauce.

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FPNI

Posted: 3/19/2019 12:29:04 PM EDT

[#11]

Sadly my sister has done this to my nephew. He's 22 and has worked 3 whole days in his entire life. He was sent to a expensive and prestigious college, only to totally fold up and fail . My sister has nursemaided him to a point where he can't take care of himself. On top of that he's become a arrogant lazy disrespectful know it all. He doesn't have any friends because unlike him they've all moved on and made something of themselves plus they don't wanna hear about what a genius he thinks he is. It's really sad

Posted: 3/19/2019 1:37:02 PM EDT

[#12]

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About 10 years ago my dad started getting calls from parents. He had one student with a 0 because he never showed up to class and never took the tests. It was an 0800 class. The father told my dad, a Department Chair with a PhD and a list of awards, publications, patents etc., that it was his job to make sure this kid got up on time and got to class. My dad laughed at him and hung up.

A few years he ago he retired and quit because the Dean, without my dad's signature and approval (he wouldn't give it), changed a student's grade from an F to a C so she could graduate. "Because her parents had already bought plane tickets" to come to graduation.

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A while back, I went to my college's 25th reunion. We had dinner with the College President.

One of his comments - In the early and mid-80's we never heard from student's parents. Absent an emergency or serious disciplinary issue, they only called or came to campus for parent's weekend and graduation.

Now, we hear from them constantly. They call about everything. The food, their child's schedule, their child's grades, whether the campus will be closed due to weather. It never ends. Its like running an elementary school.

About 10 years ago my dad started getting calls from parents. He had one student with a 0 because he never showed up to class and never took the tests. It was an 0800 class. The father told my dad, a Department Chair with a PhD and a list of awards, publications, patents etc., that it was his job to make sure this kid got up on time and got to class. My dad laughed at him and hung up.

A few years he ago he retired and quit because the Dean, without my dad's signature and approval (he wouldn't give it), changed a student's grade from an F to a C so she could graduate. "Because her parents had already bought plane tickets" to come to graduation.

I knew a guy who was teaching an undergraduate computer science class at a historically black university in Atlanta while working on his PhD at Georgia Tech (yeah, they had non-PhD's teaching), it was a required class for graduation. I looked at some of the material and by the standards of the classes I'd taken at Georgia Tech, it was probably a 2000 level class. There was an entire GROUP of students who had repeatedly failed it and couldn't graduate. The guy took a semester off to concentrate on his classes at Tech and the instructor brought in to teach the class in his absence was told that as long as someone turned in all of the assignments, even if they were wrong, she was to give them a passing grade. I think it was close to two dozen students who suddenly passed and graduated. Of course, that program was in such poor shape, when I was supposed to be hired and was working as a temp, I discovered that nobody could use the central system that was supposed to be used for student work because nobody had ever bothered cleaning out accounts for former students (who in many cases were still using them for email and such). They currently have five faculty members for a program that supposedly covers undergraduate and graduate degrees...

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:09:16 PM EDT

[#13]

11 years ago, at the big law firm where I worked then, the HR director (a lawyer) and I had a conversation in which he was shaking his head over how he was getting phone calls from parents of law students who had worked over the summer, demanding to know why Johnnie or Suzie hadn't gotten a job offer after the summer job ended.

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:14:04 PM EDT

[#14]

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Stupid article. Parents have always tried to give their kids a head start. Nothing new.

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Do you manage or interview millennials?

If you don’t, you probably don’t know how bad it has gotten.

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:15:25 PM EDT

[#15]

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Stupid article.

Of course I am going to help my kids as much as I can . What the hell other REAL purpose do I have?

BTW.....all my kids are thriving, and my youngest .......18YO and is a sr. in COLLEGE! How is that for plowing a bit while your kid is kicking ass ?!

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Doesn't fit the NY Times agenda. Note their articles about the specialist high schools that require entrance testing and racial imbalance (7 black kids omg, 68% asian surprise) isn't about getting better outcomes, is just about making it look better. If you can afford to help your kids poor people lose, its racist or classist or some shit.

Not how do we help blacks not be poor and suck at math, or help latino kids improve reading, just how do we remake the entire system so some jerk off "balance" is struck where more unprepared kids are put in and magically made better.

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:23:09 PM EDT

[#16]

Affluent parents have always greased the skids for their children, and they always will. It's the way of the world. You can complain about it all you want, won't change a thing.

Money talks, and talks loudly. Why do you think more adult males from first class were saved than children booked in steerage when the Titanic sank? It wasn't a fluke.

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:24:27 PM EDT

[#17]

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Stupid article. Parents have always tried to give their kids a head start. Nothing new.

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you don't understand the difference between "a head start" and "wiping out all obstacles so the kids never mature, develop resilience, or grow as a person."

I love my kids and would do anything for them, but I won't do everything for them, because they would end up helpless infants at age 20.

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:26:52 PM EDT

[#18]

Survival of the fittest. Once the wolves eat all of the Moose, they can eat people who won’t eat sauce.

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:33:12 PM EDT

[#19]

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I'm reading a book called The Talent Code.

The author has done a lot of research into people that excel at sports, music, writing and other disciplines.
The people that really excel learn from a constant series of making mistakes and then correcting them.

So the jokes on these parents, they are setting their kids up to be complete failures as adults.

The only chance is they have is if mom or dad die while they're young.
A significant number of politicians and .gov leaders have a parent die at a young age.

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If you haven't read it already, follow that one up with Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers". He originated the 10,000 hour principle.

Posted: 3/19/2019 2:47:07 PM EDT

[#20]

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Rejection is going to be hard for them.

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Mommy will buy them a rifle.

Posted: 3/19/2019 3:09:01 PM EDT

[#21]

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I was subjected to more of a "free range" type of parenting.....But with consequences if I fucked-up.

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My childhood summed up from age 6 on

Posted: 3/19/2019 3:36:51 PM EDT

[#22]

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Stupid article.

Of course I am going to help my kids as much as I can . What the hell other REAL purpose do I have?

BTW.....all my kids are thriving, and my youngest .......18YO and is a sr. in COLLEGE! How is that for plowing a bit while your kid is kicking ass ?!

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Found one

Posted: 3/19/2019 5:46:25 PM EDT

[#23]

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Found one

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Quoted:
Stupid article.

Of course I am going to help my kids as much as I can . What the hell other REAL purpose do I have?

BTW.....all my kids are thriving, and my youngest .......18YO and is a sr. in COLLEGE! How is that for plowing a bit while your kid is kicking ass ?!

Found one

Yep .....NVM

Posted: 3/19/2019 6:18:25 PM EDT

[#24]

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Fpni as always

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Posted: 3/19/2019 6:27:50 PM EDT

[#25]

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Yeah, except they're going about it all fucked up.

I'm trying to give my kid's a head start too. Through discipline, hard work, and controlled adversity.

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Damn right. My daughter (17) is excelling, and my son hates it.(20) But....life is tough, it's even tougher when you are stupid. He will either catch on or if he doesn't like the rules....hit the bricks.

He joined the Army, got injured in AIT, then an ELS. Now in CC and trying to get a NG waiver.

It's all on him now, has been for 2 years.

Posted: 3/19/2019 6:38:06 PM EDT

[#26]

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Yep .....you did.

4 kids .

1. Dentist- .zero debt via scholarship money
2. Engineer - zero debt via scholarship money
3. Med Student- zero debt via scholarship money
4. Pre-Med Sudent - zero debt via scholarship money.

Maybe we need more snowplow parents......if that is what I am.

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Did you have to call their colleges to make sure the cafeteria was cutting their lunch into small enough pieces?

Did you throw a tantrum to turn a barely earned D grade into an A?

Can your kids change a toilet paper roll without youtube?

If not, the article wasn’t about you. If you deny the existence of such parents it’s out of ignorance. I see them regularly. They will be horrified at what grows from the seeds they’ve planted.

Posted: 3/19/2019 11:39:20 PM EDT

[#27]

My wife is a helicopter snowplow.....

I think there are valuable lessons to be learned by failure, defeat, weighing decisions, making one and dealing with the consequences (good and bad), etc. Maybe even more valuable than what is learned from victories and success.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - How Parents Are Robbing Their Children of Adulthood - "Snowplow Parents" (Page 2 of 2)

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