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Posted: 8/15/2017 5:37:19 PM EDT
There's a large snek hiding in my garage and I want it out before I have to burn my house down.
90% chance it's a western diamondback, so I can't just go willy nilly poking all my stuff with a stick til he pops out. I put down a snek trap with a big sticky pad inside but he hasn't been caught. I could just leave the doors open, but I wouldn't know he left, and more wild things will likely take up residence. Ideas?? rulez: Attached File |
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Quoted:
There's a large snek hiding in my garage and I want it out before I have to burn my house down. 90% chance it's a western diamondback, so I can't just go willy nilly poking all my stuff with a stick til he pops out. I put down a snek trap with a big sticky pad inside but he hasn't been caught. I could just leave the doors open, but I wouldn't know he left, and more wild things will likely take up residence. Ideas?? View Quote step on snek? |
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clean the shit out of your garage and take away his hiding place?
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Buy a feeder mouse at the pet store for $1.50 and put it live on the sticky pad, game over.
Or you could just snek up on it. |
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Well, if he IS a rattler, you should *probably* hear him before he bites.... So there is that.
I would set my house on fucking fire. Seriously. Fuck that. |
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Offer him a dinner over candle light, soft music, maybe some red wine?
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Quoted:
Well, if he IS a rattler, you should *probably* hear him before he bites.... So there is that. I would set my house on fucking fire. Seriously. Fuck that. View Quote |
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Just ask yourself, What would Taylor Swift do?, and just do that.
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Post pics of the inside of the garage and we'll play "Where's
How much stuff you have that you can't find it?? |
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Go to the fuel station and get some high octane. Start filling car inside garage while smoking a cigarette and talking on the phone. Drop phone and spill fuel while smoke falls out of your mouth and run
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Serious question....How bout a water hose???
How water-resistant is your gay-raj? |
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Chances are its a gopher snake and harmless. I live north of Phoenix and about 80% of the sneks that I get in my yard or garage are this. 15% are western diamond backs and 10% are mambas.
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Put down a horsehair rope in the area he is. That'll trap him there.
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Go find some antifa. They live to step on snek. Just make sure snek bite them first.
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Go out into the wild, catch identical snakes. Milk them for their venom. Inject into horses. Harvest anti-venom. Give yourself increasingly larger doses until you can survive a bite from one. Then go back to your house and burn it down.
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Quoted:
Why come you gotta microaggression all over the poor mongeese? Mongeese has feelz 2. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes |
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Kilo Romeo Uniform Sierra Tango 1, send me your grid, have fast movers inbound loaded with Snake & Nape, Danger Close, over
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open garage door, start lawnmower and let it run in garage, watch snek haul ass out.
No stepping involved. |
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Start car, and seal up the garage. Make sure you don't stay in the garage too.
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Call the AZ Herp Society...they might send someone out to catch it for you.
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Strip neked, cover self in powdered sugar. Sneks hate the sugar.
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Call your mother-in-law and let her go in and fetch the snake.
Snakes don't bite mothers-in-law due to professional courtesy. Itsafact. |
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Get fishing pole, put mouse on hook, catch snek, pee on snek to assert dominance.
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