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Posted: 11/1/2016 10:31:40 AM EDT
[#1]
Some free advice for both you and your bride to remember: despite the myriad of little (or even "big") things that could possibly go wrong, you're still going to be married. The point is not a "perfect" wedding, it's the joining of a man and woman together as one. There will almost certainly be things that aren't just so; just roll with it and keep your head about you. The less you focus on the annoyances and imperfections, and the more you focus on the joy and love that you and your bride share, the better your memories of that day will be.
Blessings on you both! |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 10:34:50 AM EDT
[#2]
Relax man.
Accept the fact things WILL go wrong. They just will. So stop worrying about. Make a commitment to enjoy the time and enjoy each other. All the other crap will work itself out. The above applies to the wedding day and marriage. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 10:36:25 AM EDT
[#3]
fear of the unknown
would be concerning if you werent afraid |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 10:37:48 AM EDT
[#4]
Relax and enjoy your special day together. You'll be fine.
Congrats!!! |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 10:48:33 AM EDT
[#5]
You'll be fine. Hell, I'm 26 years in and I still get chills thinking about that day. I was far more nervous about it all than she was.
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Posted: 11/1/2016 10:50:05 AM EDT
[#6]
I always get the shakes before a drop...................I got them real bad, but the day of my wedding, things were calm. You will do fine...............here's to a long happy life filled with love and joy for both of you. Congrats!
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Posted: 11/1/2016 10:53:37 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You'll be fine. Hell, I'm 26 years in and I still get chills thinking about that day. I was far more nervous about it all than she was. At 26 you have already "been married" for a bit? Some of you guys get started pretty early, like when you're still kids yourselves. A.W.D. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:06:23 AM EDT
[#8]
Are you having doubts about yourself or your future mate? Could it just be a little apprehension over entering into something new? Apprehension is normal, doubt is a problem!
If you are having doubts then I would make an appointment with the pastor doing the ceremony. Get it worked out before you make one of the largest life changing decisions a man can make. My advice to anyone getting married would be Do NOT enter into the covenant of marriage if you are having doubts about yourself or your future mate! My grandfather use to say, "If you can run then run!!! Real love will keep bringing you back!".  Hope it all works out for you, OP. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:10:38 AM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts. Not at all. I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's helped me bring a lot of my dreams into reality, helping me become a better man. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Jitters or doubts. Jitters are to be expected, doubts warrant a conversation with your fiancée and pastor. It's not doubts. Not at all. I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's helped me bring a lot of my dreams into reality, helping me become a better man. The PROCESS of getting hitched is a tittywringer. You've had (some of) the familial drama, there may be more. Par for the course. Something's going to break, something's going to go awry. It always does, and it doesn't matter. It seems like it'll matter. Seems like the world will end. It doesn't fucking matter. 
When shit goes wrong, laugh. It's not an omen. It doesn't matter. Our honeymoon resort was hurricaned out of existence three days before the wedding and the power went out at our reception. One of my favorite wedding photos is my FIL and BIL in tuxes splicing extension cords on the dance floor so we could get some tunes going off a generator. It was still perfect in every way that mattered. You should be about through with prep. Now's the time to sit back and enjoy the ride, even the bumps. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:17:19 AM EDT
[#10]
It's not doubts about going through with the ceremony, it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch.
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:22:46 AM EDT
[#11]
Congrats man!
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:27:21 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
last time you posted about her it was a love and rainbows.what changed... you missing meeting women at the mall with your family tagging along? get over it Dude. Wtf. It's normal to be nervous. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:28:25 AM EDT
[#13]
listen to your gut....
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:30:56 AM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We all got them. Congrats Speak for yourself. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:32:56 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch. That is what your best man and the groomsmen are for. They should run interference, handle the small time crap (because all of that is so far below what's really important), and you give that woman a big ol smooch and then eat and dance. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:33:13 AM EDT
[#16]
I'm also 11 days out.
It's definitely not a cakewalk and will take effort from Us both. I'm also a little nervous but she's the one for sure |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:36:28 AM EDT
[#17]
Thats normal. Seriously.
Have a plan to manage jitters the day of the wedding. I did it by helping set up things, unload instruments, set up chairs (outdoor wedding) etc - and then got dressed late. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:37:40 AM EDT
[#18]
I wish you two crazy kids nothing but the best!
Now, about my lawn. Stay off of it. 
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:38:16 AM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I've got some Xanax the doc prescribed Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Valium. I've got some Xanax the doc prescribed Don't take anything. Things will be fine. Relax and take it easy on your wedding day. That day is about your fiancé and you. The pressure should be on your best man and maid of honor. They have to work. You get to relax. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:40:08 AM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts about going through with the ceremony, it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch. Meh. Things going according to plan is boring. The stuff that gets screwed up is the stuff you'll crack up about in a year. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself Good luck buddy!
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:40:47 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts. Not at all. I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's helped me bring a lot of my dreams into reality, helping me become a better man. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Jitters or doubts. Jitters are to be expected, doubts warrant a conversation with your fiancée and pastor. It's not doubts. Not at all. I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She's helped me bring a lot of my dreams into reality, helping me become a better man. Then you'll be fine. You just listed some of the right reasons to marry. The ceremony will be over before you know it. Congrats and good luck man. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:41:42 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts about going through with the ceremony, it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch. It won't go without a hitch, so the question is whether you let unimportant details ruin the big day or whether you roll with it and come out the other side with a smile no matter how nutty it gets. You can have perfection without perfection.
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:44:52 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts about going through with the ceremony, it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch. The only details I know well about my parents' wedding is the stuff that messed up their plans and made for all the great memories. Look forward to making great memories and relax. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:47:56 AM EDT
[#24]
Seriously guys, forget marriage.
Just go out find a woman you hate, buy her a house and pay her 1/3 your income for 21 years. Edit: Sorry I just couldn't resist..congrats on your up coming nuptials. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:48:35 AM EDT
[#25]
Is there anything REALLY wrong?
You need to clear that kind of stuff up, the little stuff... meh. My ex went on a fucking 3 day shitfit because I was going to wear black cowboy boots with my tux instead of the pos rental shoes. All I wore was boots, I don't own and never have worn a pair of dress shoes. I wasn't going to start there. She finally relented, but I should have canceled the whole thing when she didn't get over it after the first day. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:52:55 AM EDT
[#26]
I can tell you, my wedding almost became a comedy of errors due to goofy stuff..............the company I rented the tux from had to rush to get a piece of it to me in time, the wedding directors screwed things up and my SIL took over and handled it..........just goofy stuff............it all turned out fine........
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts about going through with the ceremony, it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:53:28 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A week before my wedding I went to the ER believing I was having a heart attack. Had literally every physical symptom. I was convinced it was game over. The doc told me it was in my head and gave me a prescription for a few pills of xanax
True story Engaged in a disaster area after Katrina. Three days before the wedding, our honeymoon destination had this happen: 
Biggest thunderstorm anyone could remember took the power out during our reception. Travel agent rush rebooked us to Costa Rica. "It's the 'low season', I got a great rate!" Low season is apparently travelagentese for "the fucking monsoons". Wouldn't change a bit of it if I could. It was perfect.
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Posted: 11/1/2016 11:58:56 AM EDT
[#28]
A little nervousness is 100% normal, but sound like you may be more than nervous. You were pretty critical of divorced people in a recent thread, so maybe postpone the wedding until you're 100% ready?
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:01:59 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
last time you posted about her it was a love and rainbows.what changed... you missing meeting women at the mall with your family tagging along? get over it Whoa. Sounding kinda harsh there, Porkchop.  
OP, don't worry about the jitters. It's just a modified form of stage fright. You'll get over it when you both have time to decompress. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:03:21 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Just remember, dont lock your knees. Good luck op! V Best wedding night advice ever. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:05:40 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dude. Wtf. It's normal to be nervous. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
last time you posted about her it was a love and rainbows.what changed... you missing meeting women at the mall with your family tagging along? get over it Dude. Wtf. It's normal to be nervous. Pretty sure OP ruffled some feathers in the recent divorce thread. He came off as a pompous know it all regarding marriage, and now he wants re assurance from the same folks he was lecturing/criticizing. GD would be dog piling any other member for this behavior. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:12:46 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Pretty sure OP ruffled some feathers in the recent divorce thread. He came off as a pompous know it all regarding marriage, and now he wants re assurance from the same folks he was lecturing/criticizing. GD would be dog piling any other member for this behavior. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
last time you posted about her it was a love and rainbows.what changed... you missing meeting women at the mall with your family tagging along? get over it Dude. Wtf. It's normal to be nervous. Pretty sure OP ruffled some feathers in the recent divorce thread. He came off as a pompous know it all regarding marriage, and now he wants re assurance from the same folks he was lecturing/criticizing. GD would be dog piling any other member for this behavior. Yup - don't get the infatuation with the OP. Read some pretty rude comments over the years from him. If he can give it he can take it. OP stop worrying about things out of your control. Enjoy the day as it unfolds and make the most of it. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:15:12 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
A little nervousness is 100% normal, but sound like you may be more than nervous. You were pretty critical of divorced people in a recent thread, so maybe postpone the wedding until you're 100% ready? Sigh. It's not that I'm ready, I'm just hoping everything goes well. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:16:43 PM EDT
[#34]
I think you are fine deej, I remember as I was going to start to walk and take my spot at the altar, my grand pa said, "hey baw, I got da car running if you want to take off,
"
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:18:44 PM EDT
[#35]
Marriage is not easy.
Good luck. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:19:48 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Congrats, you'll be fine. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:20:55 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts about going through with the ceremony, it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch. It probably won't go perfectly. Just laugh it off and roll with it. The ceremony lasts just a few mins. The marriage usually lasts longer than that. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:24:55 PM EDT
[#38]
Just drink a lot and you'll do fine
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:53:31 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Pretty sure OP ruffled some feathers in the recent divorce thread. He came off as a pompous know it all regarding marriage, and now he wants re assurance from the same folks he was lecturing/criticizing. GD would be dog piling any other member for this behavior. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
last time you posted about her it was a love and rainbows.what changed... you missing meeting women at the mall with your family tagging along? get over it Dude. Wtf. It's normal to be nervous. Pretty sure OP ruffled some feathers in the recent divorce thread. He came off as a pompous know it all regarding marriage, and now he wants re assurance from the same folks he was lecturing/criticizing. GD would be dog piling any other member for this behavior. I saw that thread. I also understand that Deej, while sweet, doesnt process things the same way you and I do, and keep scrolling when his filter goes awol. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 12:56:11 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's not doubts about going through with the ceremony, it's doubts that's stuff's going to go off without a hitch. Just accept that there will be hitches, man! But realize, no one cares, they are there to see you and your wife get married, all the other stuff is inconsequential and means very little. I made a big deal over the little things and was stressed out and in the end realized no one cared but me. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:03:59 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Funny story about that... The original plan was to go to WI and propose at the Reinassance Fair. The day before was really shitty. Rained, work was crappy, she was having a rough day, and we came home and she said "I don't think we can go to the Ren Faire. I have to go to my Mom's and pick some things up that were sent to me(meds." So I panicked and came up with another idea. I said "let's still go out and do something special." I made reservations at a downtown Chicago restaurant, and she was still feeling kind of meh. We took the train downtown, went to the restaurant, and I convinced her to go to Millenium Park with me. I walked over by the bean(for those who have never been to Chicago, there's a huge stainless steel sculpture in the shape of a bean.) and said "Megan, I wanted to bring you here for a reason." Handed my phone to a stranger so he could take pictures(he actually took a video), and I got down on one knee, and that was that. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
The "hard" part for me was asking her. We'll not really asking but making the decision in my own mind the she was the one for the rest of my life. Once I reconciled that in my mind, everything else was just going through the motions. We just celebrated our 29th. Choose well and the whole thing is a piece of cake Funny story about that... The original plan was to go to WI and propose at the Reinassance Fair. The day before was really shitty. Rained, work was crappy, she was having a rough day, and we came home and she said "I don't think we can go to the Ren Faire. I have to go to my Mom's and pick some things up that were sent to me(meds." So I panicked and came up with another idea. I said "let's still go out and do something special." I made reservations at a downtown Chicago restaurant, and she was still feeling kind of meh. We took the train downtown, went to the restaurant, and I convinced her to go to Millenium Park with me. I walked over by the bean(for those who have never been to Chicago, there's a huge stainless steel sculpture in the shape of a bean.) and said "Megan, I wanted to bring you here for a reason." Handed my phone to a stranger so he could take pictures(he actually took a video), and I got down on one knee, and that was that. Thankfully he didn't take off with your phone!
If it's not too private of a memory, you should post the video. I understand if you don't wanna. And hey, did you end up getting the Jeep? |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:09:38 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think you are fine deej, I remember as I was going to start to walk and take my spot at the altar, my grand pa said, "hey baw, I got da car running if you want to take off, " 
I laughed through the whole wedding. Wasn't worried because it didn't matter as long as it got done. 
My best man who has broken most his bones multiple times and never cried teared up during it though.
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:09:53 PM EDT
[#43]
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We all got them. Congrats Nope. I had jitters when I married my ex wife because I already knew it wasnt going to last. None whatsoever with my wife now. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:10:44 PM EDT
[#44]
it's not too late to bail, OP.
Good luck. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:11:04 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
And hey, did you end up getting the Jeep? I'll post it when I'm not on a work computer. YT is blocked. And sadly, no. It was sold before I even got a chance to look at it. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:12:51 PM EDT
[#46]
Congrats. I wish you good luck and happiness.
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:54:05 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Pretty sure OP ruffled some feathers in the recent divorce thread. He came off as a pompous know it all regarding marriage, and now he wants re assurance from the same folks he was lecturing/criticizing. GD would be dog piling any other member for this behavior. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
last time you posted about her it was a love and rainbows.what changed... you missing meeting women at the mall with your family tagging along? get over it Dude. Wtf. It's normal to be nervous. Pretty sure OP ruffled some feathers in the recent divorce thread. He came off as a pompous know it all regarding marriage, and now he wants re assurance from the same folks he was lecturing/criticizing. GD would be dog piling any other member for this behavior. OP just needs to follow his instincts! Congratulations... 
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Posted: 11/1/2016 1:59:44 PM EDT
[#48]
It's funny how we go against our instincts because society wants us to. Good luck.
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Posted: 11/1/2016 2:06:57 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
At 26 you have already "been married" for a bit? Some of you guys get started pretty early, like when you're still kids yourselves. A.W.D. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
You'll be fine. Hell, I'm 26 years in and I still get chills thinking about that day. I was far more nervous about it all than she was. At 26 you have already "been married" for a bit? Some of you guys get started pretty early, like when you're still kids yourselves. A.W.D. i think he was saying he has been married for 26 years. |
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Posted: 11/1/2016 2:17:27 PM EDT
[#50]
It's OK, man, big life changes give you the jitters sometimes.
Just breath and try to relax. As long as you end up married at the end of the day, everything else is just details. That's how I approached the whole thing, and it worked out well. |
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