When she called the police on me when I was at the store to tell the cops I beat her up and tried to kill her.
Luckily, the officer believed me and figured out she was a fucking nut bar.  She went to jail and I took full custody of my son.

"I feel nothing when you're inside of me."

When I confirmed on my her phone she was banging a coworker while I was going through chemo was a pretty low time.

Her actions stripped me down to a shell of a man, but I was able to rebuild myself both mentally and physically stronger afterwards.  Met my new wife and realized how good life could be when you have someone that genuinely cares and loves you.

literally or figuratively?

My ex disappeared for three days.  Refused to answer cell phone the whole time.

Came back home and said "So, XXXXX (guy's name) is moving in, ummm, where do you plan to sleep?"

Me:  "Well, certainly not here."

She cleaned out our bank account but I managed to get enough cash to rent a house off a friend.  Filed for divorce the next week.  Never looked back.  Thankfully, no kids.

Now I see she did me a favor.

Your self restraint and humble approach is commendable, not sure myself or others here could show so much of it in a similar situation!

Grand mother's still in the trunk?

So for those of you that agreed to joint bank accounts, credit cards, finances, etc.; what drove you to this decision and would it have made a difference during the eventual divorce?

My ex wife and I had joint everything.  We didn't even get lawyers involved in the divorce other than to make sure the paperwork was done right.  We just split everything doown the middle.

Figured if one of us got fucked over by a few grand, it was nothing compared to what the lawyers would do to us.  Glad we both kept relatively cool heads in the splitting up of assets.  But I could see how that could get nasty and why some people need lawyers.

A few months after the divorce was finalized, she got her (previously our) house appraised and was pissed that it appraised lower than we estimated.  Oh well.....not my problem anymore.  I reminded her that she got to keep the good car and I kept the beater truck so it evened out, etc... she wasn't amused.

If you don't have joint accounts/asets you are not really married IMO.

Same. i gave her well over a million bucks in real estate, cars, guns, savings, investments. Blowing $50,000.00 on a lawyer wouldn't have changed that.

Wow, you married a peach.  At least you got out quick.

Not only that.....if you didn't have a pre-nup, it doesn't fucking matter.  Joint account or not, you're splitting your shit up even if lawyers get involved.  Doesn't matter if "your" money is in "your" account.  Lawyers will demand clarity on assets and split it all up.

May as well throw it all in one bucket.  Makes accounting and everything else easier.

I can dream right?  Actually, the guy did make out pretty well in his divorce.

She moved out to have a "break".  Said she needed to be on her own for the summer.  Moved in downtown with a female high school friend.

Then proceeded to bang any available dude in any bar up the block and at the university.  Like 20 or 30 dudes.

No coming back from that.  The "break" became permanent.

Came home earlier than expected from a hunting trip to find her stealing everything she could get her grubby greedy hands on.

The plan was to have me find an empty house and a note.

Probably one of the best things that ever happened.

Emotionally or physically or both?

Oh how did that conversation go?

I chronicled the unhappiness at the beginning of my marriage here and was advised to run screaming from the relationship.

I stuck it out.

She was disagreeable, messy, frigid for another year. Sex WA less than once a month for the first two years of marriage, which was bad enough on its own, but compounded with the fact that she'd make promises that she had no intention of keeping... That destroyed me. I used to go in the basement and scream my throat raw in anger every day after work.

December 2016 I went to a shrink about half a dozen times. She said "there's nothing I can do for you, you're normal, your wife is the problem, you need to issue her an ultimatum and hold her to it."

1/2/17 we had most of our windows replaced to the tune of a significant amount of my yearly take-home and she bitched me out for several hours about not staying home to make sure they used the right sealant.

1/3/17 she quit her job because it was too stressful.

I kicked her out of bed and didn't speak to her for a month.

The absolute final straw came in early April 2017. We got a nice hotel on discount for the weekend(partially to celebrate her getting a new job) and agreed to spend it having sex. We attempted sex once and she complained, and she spent the rest of the time watching tv or playing games on her cellphone.

I seethed inwardly for the rest of the month. When her car took a crap later that spring, I told her that she needed to be very careful with replacing it because she needed to start looking for a new place to live too. I told her I was sick of feeling not just unloved, but hated and disrespected, and I want getting anything out of our relationship. She no longer made me happy and I didn't want her to tell me she loved me anymore because I didn't believe her. She had until the end of the summer to turn it around and then I was getting rid of her.

And I would have too, except she started making an effort.

Slowly, not as fast as I would like, but the last 8 months have been far better than the first two years. I'm still mad that we're not GOOD at sex because she basically withheld for the first 2/3s of our marriage. We suck at it, we're learning what the other likes. I feeling like a stupid fumbling teenager trying to figure out or because she delayed us. But we're much more intimate more than we were and getting better. We've had sex more in the last four months than we did from when we got married in 2015 to the end of 2017.

And she actually treats me like she loves me now. We're getting there.

But I absolutely would've told her to get out at the end of the summer of she hasn't started making an effort. I've never felt as worthless and unloved as she made me feel last April.

Pretty much this. I bought my ex self-help books. I begged her to work on things. She would do shit. I finally threw in the towel. She then found a new guy to fall for (he's her 2nd ex-husband now). After I got over the whole breaking up of the family thing (I was freaked-out about the whole thing because of my kids)... I woke up one day and realized that it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I would have stayed trapped and miserable there forever if she wouldn't have ended-it. Not because I was afraid of being free again, but because I believed in the commitment that I made as a father to be there for my kids. But when she requested that I leave the house, that was the end. We were divorced about 45 days after that. No lawyers involved either.

Were you both virgins or something when you got married?

One of us should be enjoying this.

I read these threads for posts like these.

I was. She been married to an adulterous jackwagon previously, split on him when he abused her. We did not have premarital sex.

Good points, isn't possible for the ex to get out of a pre-nup too? State dependent I'm assuming?

Glad she sugar coated it.  LOL

I have a separate account that my paycheck goes into so that the bills are paid. She has her account that she uses for household expenses and to send money back home (Philippines). I have access to all of the accounts to keep track of the money (with her blessing...she does not internet all that well, so I handle all of the money transfers and electronic bill paying stuff) It works for us.

Now, as to my ex (Cliff Notes):
1) Spent the last 4 of the six years of our marriage blaming me for everything that she thought was wrong in her life.

2) In her mind, I was a bad husband and father if I did not come home from work early to take care of her and the kids, but I was a bad provider when I DID come home early, my paycheck was short as a result, and we could not pay all the bills.

3) Would call me at work if any little thing happened, and want me to come home and fix it. Two examples: my son filled his diaper, and decided to take it off to "help momma change him". However, he inadvertently stepped in the poo, and the situation suddenly escalated beyond his ability to deal, so he walked down the hall to find her.  The second was when she put a Pyrex dish on the stovetop to melt butter in to start cooking dinner, and it exploded. Nobody was hurt, but there was glass and butter all over the kitchen. In both cases, she wanted me to come home early from work to clean it up because "she just could not deal with it".

4) Went through several boyfriends after I enlisted in the Army, did not bother to hide it from the kids.

5) She was talking about working things out, but wanted to keep her boyfriend (after we agreed to not see anyone new while we were working on the relationship) because "it was not a new relationship, it was a pre-existing relationship and it is only natural to see which relationship was going to work out better".

Number 5 was pretty much the last straw for me.

Religious?

Yup.

I have been married for 15 years. We have never had joint accounts or credit cards. Heck, even my truck and her car are in our own names.

I can't speak for all states, but where I am, it's legally binding to have a pre-nup that protects what assets you bring into the marriage.  I've never done anything except that, so can't speak to the full extent of what can be done.

Definitely state dependent.  Hell, in my state, alimony isn't even a thing.  Little Betty home maker better find a damn job after getting divorced.

i have a fwend who is the opposite of this.

He has a wife, you know.

#1 - after 11 years told me she'd lied about wanting kids. I did, she (now/never) didn't. Been on birth control w/o telling me me. CURB

#2 - caught her banging her part-time boss in the afternoon while I was at work. CURB

#3 - poor thing lost it on replacement HRT after early menopause at age 40. Wouldn't see another doctor and just walked out.

#4 - I suspected and turned on a few logs at home and captured her conversations with her first boyfriend from back home. And their prior meet-up (during the marriage.) CURB

No more. Found a GF that has similar experiences and we're happy day-by-day. Almost 4 years of her putting up,with me, so there's something.

Your likely not to find alot of positive comments becuause people rarely are proactive vs reactive.

Wife #1, we were just kids. She thought it was emotionalism from being pregnant that she didn't want to be married.  A week after the kid was born she still didn't want to be married.  Did the deed that night on the stairway, in front of her Mom and me.

Wife#2, I came home at mid-tour from a year in Osan AB.  24 hrs travel time, looking good, trying to stay unwrinkled from the travel. She picked me up at the airport, drove me to our home, sat me down, and 5 minutes later it was over. She was banging someone, to be sure, and "wanted a man in her life, just not in her house."

Wife#3 is doing ok.  A keeper so far.

I admit that I've been an asshole.  But it wasn't all me either time.

WOW!!

I was getting rid of all the old checkbook copies last year about 4? years after the divorce, after about an hour of going thru them as I burned them I realized why I never could build the balance up. She was writing checks for junk, meds and cash multiple times a day to the tune of a couple hundred a week the entire time. That is a lesson I will never forget as long as I live. $20 here, $50 there, $30 for cash really adds up after awhile.

Mine was a mix of menopause and meds with a bit of messing around. Life has not been good to her since the divorce.

I will say she asked for forgiveness after it was all over and didn't go after any of my retirement funds, I think she was truly sorry but trust isn't anything easily earned after it's destroyed.

If you ever hear the words ''I need to find myself" get thee to a lawyer ASAP. If you don't know who you are and what you want 60% thru your lifespan, it's never going to happen. Happiness begins with yourself, you can be happier WITH someone else in your life but they can't actually make YOU happy.

I wasn't married, but with her for ten years. I was tired of being unloved and wasn't going to do it another day and told her it was over. I was also done raising her loser son. She didn't take it well. I came home to an empty house. She even took my two hunting dogs.

She immediately hooked up with her freshly divorced best friend's ex husband and promptly pumped out two kids.

I saw her at the grocery store last month, and even after five years, she won't look or talk to me. Oh well.

Turn her over, she what she says then !!

Congrats! now go and enjoy life!

Noice.    

No pussy for months on end. Generally treating me like a roommate. No affection.

The straw was forgetting fathers day and my birthday a week later.
That is when I lost all hope and pulled the plug.

Concur.  Owned two, still have one.

This is why you try before you buy

Especially with something that's gunna be a "lifelong" thing

Mine was pretty obvious, she just up and walked out on our 2 kids and me.

Congratulations!

Happened to a life long friend of mine. He fucked up though and put a hospital level beat down on her dealer with a ball bat and got two years for ADW. Which he served entirely. By the time he got out she was fully hooked and living with the dealer. All his shit was gone. He lost his job [management at GM], cars, house, furnishings, trophy wife and now his kids are all fucked up.

His x, whom I've known since we were all about 13yo, could easily win a nationwide contest of the hottest to nastiest mugshots over time comparison. She was absolutely beautiful when this all started. Now you can find her turning tricks for drugs in Montgomery County Ohio.

I might have the best one:

With my ex wife she had fucked us financially more than once and at that point I had one foot out the door, I was just waiting for our daughter to finish highschool and go off the college.

One day my daughter handed me her mothers ipad to show me she was Cat fishing boys my daughter was going to highschool with! I was done and disgusted.

A 37 year old women acting like a college girl from montana lmao what a tool I filed that day.

After divorce I dated a girl who had alot of good qualities but I slowly started to learn she was a functional cocaine addict. I called her out on it and she went crazy pushing me and grabbing me. I was out the door and never looked back as I saw domestic violence in my future with that girl.

Ive been single now for 3 months, taking a break for awhile to figure out why I pick such shitty women and closing on a house at the end of this month.

Going to focus on me for awhile.