My mom gave me a blue zip up hoodie thing. In xxxl, I'm a large-xl. She gives me clothes every year, and every year I have to take it back because it's not my style or wrong size and I don't want to waste my parents money. It doesn't fucking click with you lady??!?!?!

They are getting the shitty gifts anyway might as well share their pain with us for our entertainment!

Sadly my first thought is she isn't at the office.

I just got in.  Pretty good haul this year.  No complaints.  A flannel shirt, a thick woolrich fleece jacket and a woolrich shell type jacket., and a pack fly rod that takes the line through the center rod....I think, it doesn't have any eyelets on it.

Nothing truly bad unless you count the scented candle that was in a broke jar, but that was probably an accident.

Fairly well blessed this year.

Oh except when I got home one of my chickens was missing.  She's a friendly splash banty hen.  Might be owl food unfortunately or she got disappeared in the daylight.  The bantys can fly in and out of the pen.

LOL at the Gene Simmons tongue in the back ground. You have a cute kid and I hope she feels better soon.

hahaha that's awesome. I got a pack of condoms at a white elephant Christmas party from one of the employee's at my family's business. I was 5 and panicked.



I got a bad cold and missed my flight home for Christmas this year, so I haven't gotten anything yet, but I have a story from a few years back when I was in college:

My mom's uncle is sort of an eccentric dude. He's a super nice guy and means well, but he's just weird. For instance, he's got an email list that has all of my family and some family friends (some close, some distantly acquainted) on it. He sends out his horoscope pretty much on a daily basis. If you email him to ask him something, he'll CC that email list in his response, regardless of how sensitive the subject might be. He did this to my mom not too long ago when she asked him something about retirement benefits. He sent my sister an email, group CC'ed and all, to let her know that he never received her thank you card for whatever weird gift he gave her and could she please write another one and send it again. This past summer, at a funeral for a distant family member, he got up and started reading a family history starting sometime in the 18th century - for a family that he married into. For Christmas in 2010, he gave me a calendar full of pictures of lighthouses. It was a 2010 calendar.

Anyway, my parents used to have a big sheet glass front door that would get caught by the wind sometimes and fly open. It had a spring-loaded chain to keep it from slamming into anything, but the wind gets strong there and it would sometimes fly open nonetheless. So Mom's uncle sees this as the perfect opportunity to get her a Christmas present: an automatic door closer. So come Christmas day, Mom opens her gift from her uncle and it's a shitty door closer. Her uncle bought this thing for her knowing full well that we'd already tried one of these things and it actually prevented the door from closing all the way and started to split the door frame so we took it off. As you can imagine, Mom was thrilled, but she played the part like a champ, her uncle felt very pleased with himself, and Christmas continued without a hitch.

The next Thanksgiving, I drove home and pulled into the driveway and what did I see? Mom's uncle on a step ladder installing that fucking door closer.

Oh lord, here we go.

"Hey Uncle ____, how are you?"

"You know, I bought this thing for your parents and I know they really need it. I really think you should have installed it for them. I had to dig through a chest of drawers to find this! Your poor old mother has to close the door herself every time she comes in the house, you know!"



So good to see you, Uncle _____.

In the interest of having a civil Thanksgiving (and knowing that's just how he is and really didn't mean any harm), I told him he was right and went on inside.

Anyway, that's the longwinded story of the time my mom got a lame present and I got a lecture.

How about the gift of renege?


We don't do Christmas gifts as if we want something we just get it. If it's a large purchase, we'll discuss before hand just for clarity.
At Thanksgiving time I asked th SO about getting a military Colt 1911. I've always wanted one. She's says ,"It's up to you, I just don't see the need for it."
So I get serious about finding the lowest cost M45A1 I could find.
Yesterday, I showed her a picture of the Cerekote version and the new Ionbond version the Marine Corps just requested to be used.
She liked the Ionbond better. GREAT! The LGS actually just got one and were going to be basically the same as the lowest price I could find on line.
She says,"How much?" I say MSRP is $1695 but I found it for $1500.
She say's,"NO! That's too much!"

I can barely talk to her.

Merry Christmas to me.

PS
The best gift was from the kids: A DVD of Elf and a box of microwave popcorn (it was also the only gift).

I got a green t shirt with a camo Darth Vader mask on it, and a pair of Darth Vader undees. I'm 27 years old.

Here is one bad Christmas gift. As a very conservative anti-liberal, anti communist, anti-mooslim, you get the picture, my son gives me an obama action figure. Of course you know what it's future is. Too bad the NSOB doesn't follow suit. But, I laughed my ass off when I opened it.

I was the lucky winner of anal beads at a white elephant party the other night...  But when everyone was playing games I opened them up and hung them on the Christmas tree.  The couple and their parents who are in town will get a laugh or shock when taking down the tree!!

 
I got my grown ass friend an R2D2 standing cutout, life size.  What's your point?  

Actually sounds to me that your day got better.

I'm a simple kind of guy and don't need or want much in life in terms of material things.  This makes me hard to shop for, so my in-laws are always hitting up my wife for gift idea.

Apparently, my wife had mentioned at some point during the year that I was anxiously awaiting the next George R.R. Martin book.  I've been reading the series since the '90s and just want to see it end before ol' George bites the big one.  Of course, my in-laws aren't exactly open minded people and would never stoop so low as to read a "nerd book," much less give the HBO series a shot or try to learn anything at all about the series.  That's fine with me; to each their own.

I open up my gift from them today and had this staring at me:



No indication whatsoever that they were kidding, so we're guessing they just went to the nearest bookstore and asked for the latest George R.R. Martin book.  And that's exactly what I got...

That really needs to be your new avatar.

I kinda want this for my gun room now.

Ramcone is awesome! Thats not a crappy gift at all!

Yesterday morning someone lost control of their car and took out my mail box before the mail person delivered. I was expecting a Vortex red dot for my SO,s AR under the tree. I went to wally world and bought a replacement to put up today. This evening a young teenage girl knocked on the door to say she was sorry. She gave me wrapped box with a very nice hand written apology, a box of stale cookies and a candle my wife's allergic to. Oh well its the thought that counts.

My mother, who lives 2 hours away, mailed me this gift "because it has a funny ad on youtube". Haven't seen the ad, don't want to.

http://www.amazon.com/Poo-Pourri-Before-You-Go-Toilet-8-Ounce-Original/dp/B001D0IXVY


Poop thread.

It's probably in 80-85% condition. The front is good, the thermos is like new, but the back edge on the bottom has some paint loss and corrosion. My Sister has a penchant for this type of gift. I also have an 18" terminator, a 8" terminator, some hotwheels Battlestar cylon car, and a bowl that looks like a zombie skull.

I'm nearly 40 years old and my likes are tools and gun stuff.





Sucky phone pics gonna sucky.

Well, mom just gifted me a "donation" to mom's demand action... in my name.  No shit.  I asked for Midwayusa, Dillon precision, PSA, gift cards.  Got mom's gift bag and saw a slip that said mom's demand action.  Thought it was a joke, until I saw the fucking bracelet.   Wtmff?!?!  Mom said, yes, she donated in my name and didn't understand why I wanted more gun stuff.  Guns are icky, she said... really am kinda ticked now.  

It's my mom, but goddammit.

left the bracelet and card at their house.  Fucking really put a damper on Christmas.

That's fucking appalling.

Dad got me a pole saw and a portable battery jumper and some neat small things.  But mom went full retard. Still pissed.  I am sure she made a "sizable" donation in my name. Da fuq?!?

This was actually the first really good Christmas in a few years for me, so I'm just in this for the lulz.

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Are they at least boxer primed?

Your sucky phone pics are pretty damn good actually.

May as well sell that lunchbox and apply the funds where you like.

Thank whoever gifted you that and make the best of it.  

 
Oh, that's going up right now! Thanks!

 
I'm now convinced that it is pretty cool. I hereby withdraw the submission.

After staring into those 1000 yd stare, googly eyes , I realized, they are the eyes of a warrior.

He has seen some shit.

Ramcone fights for freedom and kills commies!

wow.  I think I'd rather have received a dead puppy.  That's gotta sting.

Return the favor by getting her a lifetime membership to the NRA.

you're a glass half full kind of guy, aren't you?  I like it!

For the first year, I think I can compete.  

We did a small secret santa at work this year.  We planned on exchanging gifts on Wednesday, however a last-minute scheduling conflict with my vacation days meant I had to take Mon-Wed off and come back to work on Christmas eve.  So when I went to work last night, a small package was sitting on "my" desk.  (I was the only one working Xmas eve)

A fucking used ashtray, stolen from a hotel

This thread reminded me of it, so I just ran out to the truck to grab it (I threw it in the bed...the rain washed most of it off)

In for the cringe.

My brother's wife's parents sent me a gift.  You may recall a thread years back where my SIL and I seriously clashed over Obamacare and Obama himself.  I haven't spoken much to her (not even to my brother) for the past 5 or 6 years.  We extended the olive branch this year and had them over for Xmas day.  They got us and the kids OK gifts, her parents sent along some decent gifts for my wife and the kids.  And this for me... I guess it's a hint of somekind or another.  



To be totally honest, I thought it was pretty funny.

I never understood the logic of these... "here's an ashtray, but don't smoke!"

 

Ramcone is awesome. I eagerly await the 'shops.

Bake them into brownies and return them along with obama toilet paper.

Last night I got a copy of 007's Diamonds Are Forever... On BetaMax... beat to shit from the local thrift store. I am partially concerned I may be in possession of stolen property too now with it now.

I don't even think I was alive when betamax was around.

Thanks Cousin...

I am going to show up to an LA hipster party with it though I guess and get some ironic use out of it.

A plastic hamburger press that makes a hamburger 1/4" thick and most likely the size of a half dollar once cooked.

But I doubt we'll ever find out, because it should break on the very first use.

Ramcone





They drew 1st sap...



 

I think this beats my red roll of TP

Would have been better if she offered to pay for a new mailbox, but it took guts and honesty for that girl to own up like that.  Did she lose control on an icy road ? If so, we've all been there.

My wife's family has an exchange.  I got a T-shirt with the top ten reasons beer is better than women.  And a can of Lite beer that was three years old.  Not real bad?  Well.  I thought it was rather disrespectful of my wife.  And the real kicker?  It was given me by her uncle.  Who is the priest who married us!  I had to miss my face behind it after I opened it.  Wife was absolutely not amused!

My sis trolled me this year. Two nicely wrapped packages... One contained a package of paper plates and the other was a printed out train ticket to nyc so that I could visit her. Thankfully the ticket was photoshopped and fake as I detest nyc

Jesus Christ this has to be the winner.

We're laughing near you, not at you.









 

Damn bro, I think that's the shittiest gift I've ever heard of. My condolences, hopefully your mom comes back from the dark side.

My sister-in-law got this from her mother yesterday.  Basically a glass, a bowl and 2 other dishes hot glued together to make an "angel".  She was trying to figure out what to do with it so she filled it up with some candy and bags of beads.  When she pulled it out of the bag, I immediately said, "It's Tom Servo!"

Not the worse.....but kind of funny. I have been hinting for a while that I wanted a good knife for work as my last one got lost after letting someone use it.  So I had mentioned it several times and she flat out said no freaking way would she get me a knife for Christmas. So, I went out and have bought a Spyderco Police and a Benchmade Barrage!!  So come the 25th, one of the gifts I open was this with my name engraved in it Guess I have two now.

You'll have to find his fucking legs.