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Link Posted: 5/17/2024 9:56:17 PM EDT
[#1]
Quoted:


Momma is an insane vegan, baby gets a BBQ rib.https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/255381/Image_2_jpeg-3216907.JPG
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Doing the Lord's work there!
Quoted:
Tell them you're into CrossFit and let the one-up-man-ship begin!!!!!!

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Better bring pictures of your rescue dog and let them know which marathon you're running next.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:00:51 PM EDT
[#2]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You will be the only Alpha Male in room

Chances of a threesome with bridesmaids will be high

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This. Vegan women are nice and thin. Look better and don't smell like pork butt or spoiled tuna because they eat no meat. They are more sensitive than most women, and will intuitively understand your needs. I could go on, but you get the picture.

This is a rare opportunity for you OP. Don't screw it up.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:01:20 PM EDT
[#3]
Shitty food and a room full of virtue signaling douchebags.

Hopefully you can sneak off with one or two of their women and lay some pipe.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:02:44 PM EDT
[#4]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Stand up and give a toast.

"Tonight, the groom will find out if his bride is a new age girl... if she don't eat the meat but she sure like the bone!"
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lol
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:06:39 PM EDT
[#5]
I wonder what's worse...going to one of their weddings or inviting them to yours....

Entitled Woman DEMANDS Chinese Takeout At A Wedding
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:08:47 PM EDT
[#6]
But why?
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:09:20 PM EDT
[#7]
Diarrhea
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:13:55 PM EDT
[#8]
There's always the "car troubles" thing or even the random COVID test surprise.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:17:46 PM EDT
[#9]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Also that's a little annoying of the wedding coordinator/bride/groom/whatever to force their dietary restrictions on all of their guests.  I don't think I'd go to this wedding just based on that alone.
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If it was local for me and inexpensive, I’d go.   If I’d have to travel, hell no.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:18:20 PM EDT
[#10]
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Quoted:
I went to a vegan wedding a few years ago. The food sucked ass (some kind of grilled mushrooms and vegan Mac and cheese as an entree) and I shit my guts out at the wedding. They’re divorced already. It was a sign.
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Tender Tummy Brigade
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:40:55 PM EDT
[#11]
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Quoted:
hippie chicks.
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This  thread wreeks of high karate and patchouli

Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:45:45 PM EDT
[#12]
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Quoted:
Will there be free alcohol?
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Very unlikely at the wedding. You must be thinking of the reception.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:49:54 PM EDT
[#13]
You could offer to watch their kids while they party or do whatever.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:50:59 PM EDT
[#14]
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Quoted:
Well, the food probably isn't going to be much to write home about.  I'd probably eat before I go and have a few drinks when I get there.
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That would be my plan.  Plus the aforementioned pocket full of slimjims to pull out and snack on whenever someone starts telling you how great veganism is.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 10:59:20 PM EDT
[#15]
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Quoted:
Diarrhea
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From basically eating vegetables with no meat/dairy?

Tell me how I know you are extremely unhealthy, or just have no fucking idea what you are talking about??

You probably also get explosive diarrhea just by saying taco bell out loud too, right?
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:00:41 PM EDT
[#16]
Order papa John's or dominoes.

Make sure it shows up for the reception.  

Meat lovers is best pizza! Maybe add some peppers too.

Eta

I see I was already beat by a mile.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:01:58 PM EDT
[#17]
In addition to the GD nonsense, most of the weddings I have been to, served food that was nothing to write home about.

Eat some vegan shit, get drunk, and the to have fun with all the chicks with hairy pits and full diaper bushes.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:05:44 PM EDT
[#18]
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:05:56 PM EDT
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Will there be free alcohol?
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There better not be.  The wedding party won't have anything to do with subjecting yeast to involuntary servitude turning sugars into alcohol and then stealing their production.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:07:05 PM EDT
[#20]
Vegans can make good tasting food. They just save it for themselves and serve their shit food to the mouthy meat eaters. True story told to me by blood relative vegans.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:13:59 PM EDT
[#21]
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Quoted:
I went to a dry wedding once.  

We drank beer from a cooler in the parking lot.


You should set up a grill in the parking lot.
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That too. Smoke some ribs up wind of the reception and see how many converts show up.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:21:02 PM EDT
[#22]
I’m going to a vegan wedding tomorrow …
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On purpose?
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:24:13 PM EDT
[#23]
Groom won't get a BJ to completion on his wedding night.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:27:40 PM EDT
[#24]
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Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:48:57 PM EDT
[#25]
Sadness and depression..  If you told me no meat I would have to pass. Put a gift card for a steak place in your card.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:53:27 PM EDT
[#26]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:





OP- I would be more concerned with the type of people that you will be sharing your night with, rather than the food.

I make vegan bang bang cauliflower for my wife, and it is really friggin good. So are the buffalo cauliflower sandwiches she loves. Some of the shit is pretty tasty.
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commieflower pizza crust was ok,    but somebody made mac and cheese with it, and it was fucking terrible.      guess you gotta like it to begin with.
Link Posted: 5/17/2024 11:54:04 PM EDT
[#27]
You should expect to be hungry.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 12:03:32 AM EDT
[#28]
Let me guess... no meat eater option offered?
Pretty rude of them not to accommodate guests dietary needs.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 12:04:25 AM EDT
[#29]
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Quoted:
You should expect to be hungry.
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And leave disappointed. I say get blind drunk. Then let the fates decide the night:)
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:00:04 AM EDT
[#30]
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:03:56 AM EDT
[#31]
Just drink the vegan booze, unless it's piss
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:05:03 AM EDT
[#32]
Hairy bushes
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:06:11 AM EDT
[#33]
Call a BBQ food truck and send it there an hour before guest arrive.

the whole ceremony will smell like smoked meat.

Oh and don't forget, natural thick bushes.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:11:50 AM EDT
[#34]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I'd fry up a couple pounds of bacon and have them in a Ziploc for snacking during the whole thing.
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BYOM
Bring Your Own Meat.
 Chew bacon, and BREAATHE on Vegans, They'll know INSTANTLY who's on top of the food chain.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:11:57 AM EDT
[#35]
If whomever they hired knows what they are doing, the food will probably be pretty dang good.

If they dont, its gonna be underwhelming all the way to horrible.

Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:13:07 AM EDT
[#36]
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:13:44 AM EDT
[#37]
You should expect a divorce because she won't put his meat in her mouth
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:14:44 AM EDT
[#38]
Soy. Lots of soy. Expect some blue and pink hair.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:17:08 AM EDT
[#39]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Im sure I will be branded a faggot, but some vegan dishes are delicious.

I know this is GD, but you don’t have to eat an 87 oz prime ribeye every single day of the year.

https://pm1.aminoapps.com/6803/b26bd38a46ce06b7fc04d27f205e0031ddbfa886v2_hq.jpg


He broke is own scouter?
Zarbon's Sexual Innuendos - TeamFourStar (TFS)
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:21:39 AM EDT
[#40]
We went to a vegetarian wedding years ago.  I almost broke out an MRE out of my car emergency kit.  We stopped at McDs on the way to the hotel.  It was my wife's cousin's wedding and I had to behave.  Otherwise I would have ordered a pizza delivery.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 1:40:19 AM EDT
[#41]


Vegans RAGE As Man Eats Kebab In Front Of Animal Rights Protest
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 7:43:33 AM EDT
[#42]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I'd fry up a couple pounds of bacon and have them in a Ziploc for snacking during the whole thing.
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This guy does coitus.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 7:46:15 AM EDT
[#43]
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 7:47:48 AM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Going to a gay couples wedding huh...
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Link Posted: 5/18/2024 7:54:59 AM EDT
[#45]
Go to a crossfit gym this week. Everytime someone talks about veggies, or humane practices, or anything to do with veganism, bring up crossfit. Bonus points if you are a marine. Bring that up too. If you cant bring yourself to tell everyone about it then your next option is to pretend you dont know what veganism is. Something like "something like yeah i love las vegans, every time i go i stay at the cosmo" or "i was gonna be a vegan but i didnt want to do the 2 year mission in another country. Now i really wish i had cause i kinda just wasted my first 2 years out of high school working on that poultry farm"
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 7:55:43 AM EDT
[#46]
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Quoted:
Misery and disappointment
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A foul stench of patchouli.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 8:00:04 AM EDT
[#47]
You can expect every single one of them to tell you the don't eat meat and you shouldn't either.  

Enjoy your tofu shrimp, tofu steaks, vegan condiments, etc.  Try to point out any actual leather footwear you might see.  Good idea on the slim jims but are they really meat anyway?   Jerky may be your best option.
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 8:02:27 AM EDT
[#48]
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Quoted:
You could offer to watch their kids while they party or do whatever.
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That's awesome !
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 8:06:21 AM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Im sure I will be branded a faggot, but some vegan dishes are delicious.

I know this is GD, but you don’t have to eat an 87 oz prime ribeye every single day of the year.
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avatar
Link Posted: 5/18/2024 8:16:27 AM EDT
[#50]
A lot of cauliflower smelling farts.
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