LOL

Stories like this is why i have separate finances.

Her personal trainer fucking her was the last straw.

It's bad enough when your wife is screwing another dude.  It's even worse when you've been paying the guy.....

That fucker ended up marrying her, being miserable with her for a couple of years, lost his ass on the house they bought, and then left her for someone he met at the gym.

I got the kids, half my shit, and a wife who is 10 years younger, hotter, and smarter.  She's nuts too but faithful. lol

Some of these replies are pretty damn funny, especially the guy who whose wife wouldn't touch him when he had the flu (set the bowl of chicken soup on the floor and pushed it towards him with a stick).

Yup.....been fun since the divorce  The new one is a boat load more fun and much better on the eyes than my ex wife.  Ex wife got fat and looked like a train wreck last I saw her.

Not to mention, the new one is pro gun.  She was carrying 13 rounds of 9mm the first date we went on

Glad to hear it.  Seriously.

Wonder why so many out there don't feel the need to brag ?  

Did she have an ass like a 10 year old boy?

wasn`t near as funny at the time.
my wife now impressed me before we got engaged by staying with me at the hospital when I had surgery &
helping a nurse cut blood soaked & crusted bandages offa my mangled crotch.  look up hydrocelectomy.
she`s earned her place.
the good part is that I can`t remember my first wifes middle name or birthday.  so its true, the best revenge
is living well without them.

Just finished the book.... I too am in the middle of a divorce with her sister.

edit

Unless i missed one, i didn't  see a "Came home and found her banging another girl" post?

I was very sick and missed several days of work.  Wife said "You'll be fine, I'm going out with the girls tonight.  I'll call and check on you."  Mother in law called to check on me since she had not seen me at work.  When she found out I was alone and sick, she came over to take care of me in my wife's absence.  While she was there she said "You've tried your ass off to make this marriage work.  It's time for you to divorce this crazy Bitch (her daughter)."  She then said "I have three daughters, two wonderful girls and one bitch.  You chose poorly."

@WDEagle

Did you marry the youngest daughter by chance?

Oh, need picks of mom for educational purposes.  Never know. Someone may be looking for their next exwife.

Probably that worthless fucking whore having an affair while I was in Afghanistan. Fuck that bitch. She'll probably take it, she's easy like that.

If it was legit Maury episode I need to watch it

Maury is a guilty pleasure of mine

Makes me feel better that my life choices aren't nearly as bad as other people's

Middle

Mom is happily married to a great guy (my former supervisor).  Wonderful family that I had known for years.  Losing them as family hurt as much as anything else in the divorce.

I joked with the Dad for years that I was going to date his middle daughter when she turned 18.  Shortly after her 18th birthday, she showed up at one of our Softball games.  While drinking beers after the game, I mentioned that I was going to Daytona Beach for two weeks.  She said "I want to go with you." and, unfortunately she did.   Lots of fun times, until it wasn't.

46 years of marriage and I've never thought of divorce

Did you kick it out the passenger door in front of a bus stop?

The final straw that led to my divorce in 2001 was when she slapped the shit out of me for looking at a young girl when we went to a club. Back story, we got married because I knocked her up. When our oldest was 6 months old I got a great job offer in Atlanta, so we moved there. Things were great for awhile and after our second was born, it was like a light switch was flipped. She was no longer intimate with me and cut off all sex. I put up with it for a few months no big deal. I came home from work one day and she said she wanted to move back to Texas. I made the arrangements with my job to transfer to a local office there. As soon as we moved back, her parents were at our house every day non-stop. I figured it was because they were happy their daughter was back and they wanted to see their grandchildren. Over the course of the next several months the visits never slacked off.

During the time my office had a party at a dance club and there was a young girl there that was smoking hot. She had the attention of every guy at the club. She sees me watching her and blindsides me with a slap upside my head. Everyone sees this and I looked her dead in the eye and told her the only reason I was staring at her was because she was hot. I also told her if she didn't want to fuck me anymore, I was going to go over there and asked her if she wanted to fuck. At that point I said I was getting a girlfriend whether she liked it or not. I told her I was going home and it was best that she didn't ride home with me. I went home and locked the bedroom door. Around 3am she came home banging on the bedroom door. I told her I was sleeping in MY bed and she was welcome to use the couch from now on and since we weren't fucking then we had no business sharing a bedroom.

I was doing really well at my job and had lots of clients. I had to work past normal business hours. Her mother planted the seed in her head that since I was working late, I must be cheating. It wasn't true, even though we hadn't had sex for the last year, I remained faithful. I got tired of her parents always at my house when I got done after a long stressful day. I got tired of them always giving me the third degree when I got home. Then when they left, I got it again from her. As a result I was staying at work later and later. This was sort of a positive feedback loop.

One night I came home and she wasn't there, she was over at her parents. I grabbed a beer and turned on the TV. Her father came over banging on the door like the police serving a search warrant. I open the door and he lays into me accusing me of infidelity and said I was sleeping around on his daughter. I tried to calm him down and started to tell him what was really going on and how she had cut me off completely from sex last year. He wasn't hearing it and then he said that confirmed his suspicions that if I wasn't having sex with her then I was having sex with someone else. This led to a shouting match and he shoved me up against the wall and hit me pretty hard. I answered back with a haymaker up the side of his head. It stunned him pretty good so I took that distraction, pull my pistol out of my briefcase and told him to get the fuck out. The next day, all my stuff was neatly packed up on the porch.

That's some evil shit right there!

I never wanted to divorce.  Even now it is difficult to wrap my mind around it, yet I'm the one who filed.  I fought tooth and nail trying to save it.

Final straw?

Coming to terms with the facts that:
1. She was actively working on fabricated narratives to have me arrested.
2. She really might kill me in a moment of her dissociation (psychosis).
3. She was actively working on alienating the children from me.
4. She was actively recruiting others, including local church leaders, to act as her enforcers to punish me.
5. I was setting a bad example for my children, behaving like a doormat and whipping boy.
6. I could no longer live a life without self respect.
7. I wasn't responsible for what made her broken.
8. I can't fix her.
9. The only hope she has of getting help is hitting rock bottom without her having someone else there to blame and project her personal issues on.  Then maybe she will seek the help that she so desperately needs.

Personality disorders are sad, terrifying things.

I feel your pain.

Then you must write a trilogy.

Pffft. Amateurs.

Learned she was ~4 months pregnant with someone else's kid and had been hiding it.

Well, hiding it until two weeks prior. The two of them went to Planned Parenthood and split the cost of the procedure at somewhere between 16 and 20 weeks. The fact that she tried to convince me it was mine, despite proof to the contrary, didn't help.

After reading this thread, can someone please teach me how to be gay?

Dang!!

Check your inbox

Damn, I laughed way too hard at this.

I have an oddly similar story.

One evening, I went to the refrigerator to get a bottle of Heinz Ketchup. What I found was a bottle of Catsup. I think it was Hunt's. Might have been Del Monte. Whatever, it wasn't Heinz.

As an aside, I'm very brand-specific about the some of the products I use. Ketchup is Heinz. Paper towels are Bounty. Toilet paper is Charmin. Gin is Beefeater. My wife knew this. I like a certain quality in the products I use, regardless of cost.

Anyway, I pull this bottle of abomination out of the refrigerator, and ask her why she didn't get Heinz. She replies by asking me what does it matter, and telling me to just use it.

It was right then, as I sat there eating a cheeseburger slathered in some concoction of questionable ingredients and quality, that I realized that I didn't love her. Yes, it must seem like a silly story, but it is that one thing, that one tiny straw, that just brought that half-formed, long-harbored thought to the front of my mind.

And while your friends like to joke about how you got divorced because your wife cooked your eggs wrong, mine like to joke about how I got divorced because my wife bought the wrong brand of ketchup.

Being a man with a discerning taste in Ketchup, I feel your pain.

My wife knows better than to buy anything other than Heineken.

Maybe she did it on purpose to drive you to divorcing her.

Only the truly Tarded go joint accounts if married now

If you think its getting old, spice it up.
Don't complain that you're getting too much sex. Ever.

She claimed that her first husband had been excessively controlling over her income and spending money.
In the beginning of the relationship when you're young and starving, it seemed like we were always equally short on money after being paid.
As the years went on and the student loans, car loans, credit card bills etc that made up her part of the shared bill paying were paid off, I expected that she would step up and take some of the burden off of me for the things I was paying.
She never did, and in retrospect she had years and years where all she paid for was groceries and would complain that I was grumpy when I would sit down on my paydays and run my available bank balance down to single digits while she never volunteered to pick up some of the stuff I was paying for. She never seemed to make the connection. She eventually took the kids onto her health insurance during my 2008 deployment because she had learned that she hated Tricare during my previous mobilizations, but that didn't free up anything more than maybe $100 per paycheck for me......

I didn't even know how much she was making, It wasn't until the divorce financial disclosures that I found out that she was only a few thousand a year behind me in gross pay for my primary job. I'd already retired from the Guard and made a few thousand a year at my part time agency, but we'd gone 15 years without a contract at my primary agency and she'd continued to get above-average raises at her job that put her damn near close to me. Her next promotion at her workplace will most certainly put her above me in earnings, but she still wont back off from taking a chunk of both of my pensions when I retire in a couple of years. And she never put a dime into her retirement plan the whole time we were together, which leads me to believe that she'd been planning the divorce for literally decades. Why put money into an account that you know you'll have to split with someone. And there I was all those years, putting percentages into very traceable IRA, deferred comp plans, TSPs and traditional pensions......I have no doubt at all that she had a huge nest egg of untraceable cash set aside by the time i came back from overseas.

This

I would never buy a car without driving first either

Nah, I agree with the first guy.  If you don't trust her enough to establish joint accounts, why are you marrying her?  Furthermore, intimacy is expressed many ways and there is definitely some intimacy lost when you have separate finances.  Speaking from experience.  First wife and I kept them separate.  Was less of a conscious decision to do so than just how our relationship developed.  We ended up divorced and she still found a way to screw me over financially.  Hard.

I'm not saying don't protect yourself, but it's hard to be intimate when there is a wall built down the center of your bed.

My wife and I have joint accounts.  We're both accountants.  We sit down and have monthly "financial meetings" where I lay out our actual spending vs budget and discuss upcoming big ticket items.  We realized even before we got married that combining resources made more sense than just being roommates who split the bills.

We own two houses, acreage near a lake, have two new cars, pay into retirement, etc. all because we are able to pool our resources, have similar life goals and do things that benefit both of us equally.  I make a little more money than my wife but we both work equally hard.  Neither of us has to ask the other for "permission" to buy things.  We both monitor our spending and are very frugal.  If I want a new gun, I buy a new gun.  If she wants a new dress, she buys a new dress.  If I want a new truck, we discuss it and make a plan.  It's that simple.

I see couples quite often that keep their money separate and brag about it.  Then I see that the major breadwinner winds up buying the other one a car or paying for most of the bills or whatever.  In the end, it's laughable because they wind up spending their money the exact same was as if they had it combined.

If, as a couple, you are of the same mindset when it comes to spending and have similar big picture goals, then combined is the way to go.  If you have no self control or your spouse can't help but spend money like a drunken sailor on furlough, then it might be wise to actually keep it separate.

I never saw it that way.  I've been happily married for over 16 years and we had everything consolidated by the end of our first year of marriage.  My parents always had joint accounts but hers didn't.  She always said her parents would fight over issues arising from bills vs what the other had stashed away and she never wanted that to happen to her marriage.

My wife isn't a person who likes financial stress so she trusts me completely with everything.  She has absolutely no clue how much money we have.  I have a couple of encrypted thumb drives for her so if something every happens to me that contain all the account numbers, passwords, etc to all our financial information.  She honestly could not tell you exactly how much money she makes a year; that's how removed she wants to be from it.

Wife and I have separate (joint) accounts.  I paid the house note and all utilities while we were working since I made double what she made.  She paid health insurance and food.  We both paid for our own car & motorcycle insurance.  We each put $300 a month into a separate car fund that we used for repairs and to pay cash for new vehicles.  Both of us paid the max into our retirement accounts.

Now in retirement with the house paid, I pay all of the house utilities and she still handles the health insurance and food. Still do the same method for car insurance and vehicle fund.

We do a yearly "What's the plan" meeting in January of every year.  It takes about 15 minutes since our finances are pretty much on auto-pilot now.

All that being said, once our individual financial obligations are met, each of us is free to spend the remaining funds on whatever we want to within reason (ie no hookers and blow)

My GOD!!!

I am so sorry!!!

Ex told me about our baby that she aborted while we were dating.

Ok that wasn't the last straw but its what got me wondering if I should eject.

Maybe 6 months later she started isolating herself from me and everyone else in her life and confiding in some idiot she played WOW with who lives over 1000 miles away.  When I stopped feeling that I was the most important person in her life, I knew it was only a matter of time before she cheated so I sat her down and said we need to end things now while we were both still rational about things.  She freaked out and cried but after a couple days accepted it.  We went to the courthouse together and didn't even get any lawyers involved.

she started hanging around pot heads and gays at work who gave her you can do better girl mantra. So we split, i then married a wonderful woman, had two beautiful kids . Her? lost her job, lost a lawsuit was on the hook for 200k, and married a guy 20 years older(mid sixties). She gets to screw his wrinkled gray balls , i say karma did its job....

I remember early in my marriage, one time my mom and my ex were in an argument.  I backed my mom.

Later that day, my told me I made the wrong choice. Regardless of who was actually right, you always take your spouses side (barring absolute craziness like shes thinking about turning tricks or trying meth or something way outa left field).   I learned from that.  Spouse comes first no matter what.  I will admit that over time I stopped giving my spouse that treatment but only after she cut that cord first and my many attempts to rebuild it had gone nowhere.

Fair point, but people didn't have sex before marriage for centuries before, and the divorce rates were much, much lower.

What a miserable thread, you boys need to polish up your vetting process.  My wife is my best friend, I laugh more with her than anyone else + she's gorgeous so that's a bonus too.

Sure they did.  30-40% of women were pregnant at their weddings in colonial america.

The problem in many small towns, they will let the wife take money out anyways.

That's only because they died so quickly and had no safety nets

The only thing I can relate to is being over 30.  The rest is just foreign to me.