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Posted: Yesterday 7:34:20 AM EDT
[Last Edit: FoxValleyTacDriver]
[#1]
One of my best friends is a woman. There's nothing romantic between us at all. We hang out all the time. I'm convinced she's secretly a lesbian.
Hasn't caused issues for me. Sitting in the car together at night at work is a little suspicious though. Really depends on the context and if the wife knows. I would default to probably up to no good without anymore info. |
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USA
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Posted: Yesterday 7:36:55 AM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By psdan000: Would require more context. but, no not acceptable in my opinion. The only real context needed is whether they are decent people who can be in the presence of the opposite sex without whipping anything out or turning it sexual. Shit loads of people are completely incapable of that, and probably should not be alone with the opposite sex, but a few can. For the few, it's not a big deal. For the many it is probably not a good move. |
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OK, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 7:37:05 AM EDT
[#3]
The CEO of my wife's company was pursuing her one time. I alway got creepy vibes from him the few times I was around him. He was single and came from another State to take this job and didn't really know anyone in the city. He was always trying to take her to lunch etc. which she delcined. He told her he got free OKC Thunder tickets through a vendor and invited her to go. He made it sound like other people from the office were going. When she got to the arena it was just her and him. She texted me right away and I was pissed. She didn't want to bail on fear of losing her high paying job and the next day and I really wanted to go confront him but she talked me off the cliff. He was fired a month later.
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NC, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 7:41:22 AM EDT
[#4]
Me: NP
Wife: NP However, for "context", we need pics to see exactly how hot the woman is. Wouldn't change anything, but if she's hot, pictures are always nice... |
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USA
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Posted: Yesterday 8:08:31 AM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By RTX: Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward fixing it. Now get that T checked and get better soon, cause you ain't right.  Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By RTX: Originally Posted By PikeSlayer: I sit in my car every night after practice with my assistant coach, who is 27, single, and super attractive. Recap day's practice, schedule stuff, etc. Like model attractive. My wife knows too, and doesn't care because she knows I'm not going to try and fuck her. Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward fixing it. Now get that T checked and get better soon, cause you ain't right. |
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Posted: Yesterday 8:32:47 AM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By DADGAD: Self control is valuable trait. Some have it. Some don't. I don't hold it against guys who don't have it, but I will always keep them at arms length on anything that truly matters. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By DADGAD: Originally Posted By RTX: Originally Posted By PikeSlayer: I sit in my car every night after practice with my assistant coach, who is 27, single, and super attractive. Recap day's practice, schedule stuff, etc. Like model attractive. My wife knows too, and doesn't care because she knows I'm not going to try and fuck her. Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward fixing it. Now get that T checked and get better soon, cause you ain't right. Forgive me father, for I have sinned - LMAO. Seriously, if you're gay, just say you're gay. Really...it's 2024 and that's supposed to be okay now. So, feel free to continue keeping guys like me at arms length - we appreciate it. Only chicks are allowed in my space, anyway. |
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Posted: Yesterday 8:53:15 AM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By DADGAD: Self control is valuable trait. Some have it. Some don't. I don't hold it against guys who don't have it, but I will always keep them at arms length on anything that truly matters. I agree with you. All a man ever has is his word. It's easy to be a slimy fuck, look at the decay of society. |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:36:54 AM EDT
[#8]
 Attached FileQuote HistoryOriginally Posted By dbrad197: Probably more context of what they were sitting and doing is needed. I ride to job sites with a female coworker 🤷🏻♂️ If they were sitting there getting ready to smoke crack and then fuck each others brains out then yeah thats innapopriate Attached File |
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KS, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 9:40:31 AM EDT
[#9]
I am super uncomfortable spending any time alone with a woman other than my wife
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Posted: Yesterday 9:40:42 AM EDT
[#10]
Also, there’s a reason that most companies have clear glass on all offices and doors have to remain open when more than one person is inside.
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Posted: Yesterday 9:41:26 AM EDT
[#11]
 Attached FileQuote HistoryOriginally Posted By webtaz99: Mrbl grbl wok wok rikittypoa solpgin waga waga Attached File |
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PA, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 9:43:33 AM EDT
[#12]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By flyhack72: HR would have his ass if his wife doesn’t get to him first. Why what job rule has he or she broken? What if they went to lunch? You guys need to get a grip. |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:44:49 AM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By aiba7x: that was oddly specific  Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By aiba7x: Originally Posted By T1NMAN: Homeschooled prude checking in but logic seems to point to these stories never ending well. Man looses half his stuff. Wife gets 30% of his check. Kids loose their dad. New girlfriend gets her man but gets bored and moves on to the next married man. Guy ends up in a $850 appartment banging random chicks. Random chicks are killing their babies. Guy slowly becomes an addict to fill the void in his soul. The girlfriend that screwed around buys a cat and starts slamming SSRIs and boxed wine. Guys daughter has daddy issues now ...creating the next girl that climbs into cars with married men. Guys son gets angry at the world and checks out into video games or worst self castration. Dont be the fool...focus and fight for your family. that was oddly specific Not really… |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:47:12 AM EDT
[#14]
I think context is key.
My job requires me to be alone with the opposite sex weekly. Sometimes in the middle of no where if a client wants a back country trail ride on horseback. It really requires a good marriage and professionalism. I would not want to ruin my life and business over some women I only know from giving riding lessons. |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:47:13 AM EDT
[#15]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By dbrad197: Probably more context of what they were sitting and doing is needed. I ride to job sites with a female coworker 🤷🏻♂️ If they were sitting there getting ready to smoke crack and then fuck each others brains out then yeah thats innapopriate No extramarital crack smoking, the eleventh commandment 
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Posted: Yesterday 9:48:10 AM EDT
[#16]
Maybe they are just step-siblings, shouldn't be a problem.
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Posted: Yesterday 9:49:22 AM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By OverScoped: Same here Well said. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By OverScoped: Originally Posted By Rosta97: Im gonna go against the grain on this one. My best friend is a female. We met through work. She's married. I'm married. I text her multiple times a day. I get drinks/sit down meals with just her. I have spent literally thousands of hours alone with her; and nothing sexual ever has nor ever will happen. Back when we first became friends I offered my wife multiple times full access to our text conversations. She never asked to see them. Originally Posted By Cooper1: Lol. I shuttled a young female coworker around when she needed to do stuff at work. We were friends. I would never be inappropriate to her or my wife. Also discussed work issues because she trusted my opinion. You either have integrity or you don't. Well said. Not really. Anyone who lives in the real world knows that it’s not even close to that simple. In fact, flippantly simplifying the situation with yOu EiThEr HaVe InTeGrItY oR yOu DoN’t shows how ignorant he is. |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:51:34 AM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By swolliepop: zero information or context provided. i speak to female coworkers both at work and after hours on the phone. wife doesn’t bitch ab it…. How is that the same?
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PA, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 9:51:59 AM EDT
[#19]
As many people have said, context certainly matters.
Some people are asexual, most are not. It is a bad look in most cases. |
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WI, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 9:54:20 AM EDT
[#20]
Originally Posted By Explorer225: Married male coworker sitting in a car just talking to a single female coworker. They were noticed by the boss on company property last night. My question for the married guys. Would your wife be OK with this? Are you OK with it? No judgment on my part and it's none of my business, but it definitely not something I would do if married. Yes. I know I'm old fashioned. No steamed-up windows, no problem. |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:54:40 AM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Rosta97: Im gonna go against the grain on this one. My best friend is a female. We met through work. She’s married. I’m married. I text her multiple times a day. I get drinks/sit down meals with just her. I have spent literally thousands of hours alone with her; and nothing sexual ever has nor ever will happen. Back when we first became friends I offered my wife multiple times full access to our text conversations. She never asked to see them. There it is folks. Problem solved by the world famous arfcom one-single-example-means-everything. |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:54:53 AM EDT
[#22]
If I saw 2 coworkers hanging out alone like that with no other context it would at least raise my eyebrows and have me curious about what might be going on.
Which is why I would never do it. He knows he can trust me and I know I can trust him so it would be a non-issue for either of us. But we have zero desire to get any tongues wagging and be the subject of gossip and supposition so we behave accordingly. |
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Posted: Yesterday 9:56:20 AM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By OUSooner: The CEO of my wife's company was pursuing her one time. I alway got creepy vibes from him the few times I was around him. He was single and came from another State to take this job and didn't really know anyone in the city. He was always trying to take her to lunch etc. which she delcined. He told her he got free OKC Thunder tickets through a vendor and invited her to go. He made it sound like other people from the office were going. When she got to the arena it was just her and him. She texted me right away and I was pissed. She didn't want to bail on fear of losing her high paying job and the next day and I really wanted to go confront him but she talked me off the cliff. He was fired a month later. Your wife could have taken this up with HR or sued. Executives are constantly being fired for sexual misconduct. |
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PA, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 9:57:10 AM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By DADGAD: The only real context needed is whether they are decent people who can be in the presence of the opposite sex without whipping anything out or turning it sexual. Shit loads of people are completely incapable of that, and probably should not be alone with the opposite sex, but a few can. For the few, it's not a big deal. For the many it is probably not a good move. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By DADGAD: Originally Posted By psdan000: Would require more context. but, no not acceptable in my opinion. The only real context needed is whether they are decent people who can be in the presence of the opposite sex without whipping anything out or turning it sexual. Shit loads of people are completely incapable of that, and probably should not be alone with the opposite sex, but a few can. For the few, it's not a big deal. For the many it is probably not a good move. Thats the democrat argument for gun control. |
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Posted: Yesterday 10:14:24 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By flyhack72: HR would have his ass if his wife doesn’t get to him first. HR has a problem with coworkers sharing a car? |
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Posted: Yesterday 10:15:12 AM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By delemorte: Yup. Would I do it behind my wife's back? Absolutely not. If I found her talking with a male coworker not in public I could not care less. If she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat and I can't stop her. She's welcome to hit the fucking road if that's what she wants Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By delemorte: Originally Posted By UV18: Context matters. And if the wife knows also matters. Yup. Would I do it behind my wife's back? Absolutely not. If I found her talking with a male coworker not in public I could not care less. If she's gonna cheat she's gonna cheat and I can't stop her. She's welcome to hit the fucking road if that's what she wants That’s hilarious because that’s my exact feelings on it. I love my wife more than anyone and we both have a tremendous amount of respect for each other and our vows. That said, if she cheated on me, I’d throw her and her mom tf out. 😂 |
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Posted: Yesterday 10:17:32 AM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By xciapup: If you are not judging and its none of your business then why aren't we talking about guns?  Attached File |
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Posted: Yesterday 10:18:16 AM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Emeoba69: Ehh if you don’t have a wife and have 6 months of savings if you have to bail on a job. I have shat where I ate a number of times. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Emeoba69: Originally Posted By thesquidliest: Don't. Shit. Where. You. Eat. And never fuck the help. Ehh if you don’t have a wife and have 6 months of savings if you have to bail on a job. I have shat where I ate a number of times. Seems like a solid, long term plan for a good life. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 10:38:41 AM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By st0newall: this. the female co-worker could be a 350 pound whale needing a ride to mcdonalds for a tripple cheeseburger and a large order of fries. Midcap approves of whales...maybe the coworker does too. Married dude alone with any female is asking for drama, and totally not something I'd do. |
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TX, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 10:45:11 AM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Rosta97: Im gonna go against the grain on this one. My best friend is a female. We met through work. She’s married. I’m married. I text her multiple times a day. I get drinks/sit down meals with just her. I have spent literally thousands of hours alone with her; and nothing sexual ever has nor ever will happen. Back when we first became friends I offered my wife multiple times full access to our text conversations. She never asked to see them. But why? There is nothing a female friend could ever offer that you can't get from your wife or your guy friends. Thousands of hours spent alone with her is time you could have been spending with your wife or male friends. |
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Posted: Yesterday 10:46:36 AM EDT
[#31]
I asked my wife and she agrees that context matters.
She also said she wouldn't worry if it was me because my coworkers are ugly. |
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Posted: Yesterday 10:51:23 AM EDT
[#32]
Years ago I worked at a place where several employees met their husbands/ wives while on the job. While they may not work in the same department or work together, I would be friends with both the husband and wife. It wasn't uncommon to go to lunch with someone's wife or have a conversation outside the workplace. I was friends with both parties, and word would get out if there was any screwing around.
On the surface, seeing a married guy with a female co-worker having a conversation in the parking lot is no big deal. If this went on or several days/ weeks and certain body language cues were present, there would be more concern. |
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Posted: Yesterday 10:56:19 AM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By Mech2007: I asked my wife and she agrees that context matters. She also said she wouldn't worry if it was me because my coworkers are ugly. This is what my wife said about why she thinks that show, Suits, isn't realistic in that lawyers don't have hot legal secretaries, like Donna, as the wives would make him hire an ugly one. Lol. |
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Posted: Yesterday 11:11:34 AM EDT
[#34]
IMO that's a tough one, and every marriage and specific scenario is gonna be or can be drastically different. When I worked in the city, I was by far closest to women in my section. Some of which we truly shared trust and love, but definitely love like that for a sibling or similar.
I also had a full blown work wife who was actually my boss. We were connected on a psychic and spiritual level where we knew what each other was thinking and we'd finish each other's sentences. I'm happily married and my work wife was happily married, so neither our spouses were ever jealous. IMO in general, sitting in a car together for a long time after work kinda seems on its face to be odd or unusual to me. But then again, how different is it from being in a closed door office with a female coworker for an extended period of time, discussing work and kids and spouses and pets. |
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Posted: Yesterday 11:13:32 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By psdan000: Would require more context. but, no not acceptable in my opinion. |
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Posted: Yesterday 11:28:59 AM EDT
[#36]
It’s not acceptable.
Only time in my married life I did that was with ex wife and I was very unhappy. Zero chance I’d spend time alone with a woman now, as I’m happily married, and even if it 100% innocent/ friends, it would still be inappropriate, create possible rumors, possible problems and I 100% know my wife would totally disapprove, not to mention, I’d 100% be pissed if she was with a man in the same situation. When you cherish your marriage, you protect it from possible issues and opposite sex people are a top 10 possible issue. |
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UT, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 11:31:57 AM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By psdan000: Would require more context. but, no not acceptable in my opinion. Kind of suspect, but there are situations where it could be harmless and innocent. |
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Posted: Yesterday 11:35:47 AM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JBecker_72: I wouldn't put myself in that situation out of respect for my wife. Then again, I've only got the energy for one woman's drama as it is. I don't need to take on more. But seriously, this. |
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Posted: Yesterday 11:43:33 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BigPolska: I agree with you. All a man ever has is his word. It's easy to be a slimy fuck, look at the decay of society. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By BigPolska: Originally Posted By DADGAD: Self control is valuable trait. Some have it. Some don't. I don't hold it against guys who don't have it, but I will always keep them at arms length on anything that truly matters. I agree with you. All a man ever has is his word. It's easy to be a slimy fuck, look at the decay of society. Well said. |
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Posted: Yesterday 11:56:37 AM EDT
[#40]
Totally depends on the context. Anyone know what they were talking about?
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TX, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 12:02:41 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By DADGAD: The only real context needed is whether they are decent people who can be in the presence of the opposite sex without whipping anything out or turning it sexual. Shit loads of people are completely incapable of that, and probably should not be alone with the opposite sex, but a few can. For the few, it's not a big deal. For the many it is probably not a good move. Its really not that simple. A woman can change her mind for a variety of reasons and if the man wants no part of her sexual advances, there's no telling what she might do once you've turned her down. A man has more to lose. Period. Why put yourself in that position? Ya'll could be "just friends" for 10 years and then she decides she wants more during the "alone time chatting in the car". Now its her word against yours. Hint: men usually lose. |
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Posted: Yesterday 12:12:02 PM EDT
[#42]
Nope.
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KY, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 12:13:23 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JBecker_72: I wouldn't put myself in that situation out of respect for my wife. Then again, I've only got the energy for one woman's drama as it is. I don't need to take on more. THIS POST NAILS IT. |
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CA, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 12:16:00 PM EDT
[#44]
I'm going to need to look at this from another direction. I was kind of shy when young. The girls were not unfriendly, I was awfully tentative. But I never found being alone with a young lady, co-worker, friend, ride-share, whatever, meant I was just moments away from a blowjob. I guess I don't know if I was doing something wrong, or right. (Or were they, for that matter?)
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Posted: Yesterday 12:29:20 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By UncleRemis: Context matters. I stepped out for a smoke with married coworkers. In bad weather we would smoke in a car. Completely innocent 
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Posted: Yesterday 12:35:44 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By CPshooter1: I used to take sales rides with my account managers. Some were female. It was just how we operated before meetings with our clients. My wife never liked it, but oh well. Not like I could get away with anything even if I wanted to. She’d smell it on me and proceed to grab a kitchen knife. As a sales rep, I “rode with” female colleagues all the time. I’d spend entire days going from account to account with female colleagues. I would train them, they’d train me, we’d give presentations and perform lunch and learns. Fellow reps, managers, and vendors. We’d almost always take separate cars and if we were ever together “alone”, it was in a very public place. We definitely wouldn’t park and sit in the car together, alone, chitchatting. It would have been very weird to do so. To those suggesting that those who wouldn’t do that don’t have trust in their relationships or are projecting an inability to not cheat on their spouse, you’re fucking clueless about the way the world works. |
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Posted: Yesterday 12:37:26 PM EDT
[#47]
Sailors have a different opinion on the definition of the word "acceptable behavior".
Normally I start with did anyone die and then go downwards from there. Nobody's dead, do I have to wake up the command staff in DC ...
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MT, USA
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Posted: Yesterday 12:39:45 PM EDT
[#48]
Might be perfectly innocent. But its still a very bad look.
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Posted: Yesterday 12:46:57 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JarheadPatriot: No shit. These dudes either married women with questionable morals, or they themselves have questionable morals. To so blatantly distrust their spouse (or maybe themselves) is unhealthy. Quote HistoryOriginally Posted By JarheadPatriot: Originally Posted By treelow: Also, lots of insecurity showing from posters.  To so blatantly distrust their spouse (or maybe themselves) is unhealthy. I completely trust my wife to sit wherever she wants with whoever she wants. It has nothing to do with trust. She wouldn’t do it because she’s not a clueless moron and understands that, by doing stuff like that, it brings into question her motives. She understands that there’s no reason to ever put herself in that position, even if it raises just the tiniest bit of suspicion from a neighbor or coworker. I’m the same way. Not one single iota of trust issues with my wife. But I’m not going to ever put myself in a situation where anyone can ever question what I’m up to because I know it would be hurtful to her. I’m sorry that you’re too thick and self absorbed to understand that your actions may negatively affect your spouse or family. I’m sure you’ll get it cleared up when you’re telling everyone to “trust me, bro”. (And sounding less trustworthy each time you say it.) |
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Posted: Yesterday 12:47:25 PM EDT
[#50]
My personal opinion: I think it’s playing with fire. “We’re not romantically involved” and spending an alone time is a lot like having a loaded gun with the safety on and pulling the trigger. The marriage and how you feel about your marriage is the safety. No, it’s not gonna go off cuz it can’t go off. It shouldn’t go off. But it’s still a stupid idea, cuz it could go still go off. Even though it can’t. If you know what I mean.
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