It's my birfday. My daughter and Grandkids didn't even bother to call me on Christmas. She lives 2 blocks away.
SO.....I'm gettin blasted! I've got a bottle of Stoly and some cranberry juice, and I'ma gonna gett fuckered upper!
I don't like lots of shit! I won't go into what those things are. What....I wanna offend y'all?
I do like things that go boom, bang, and bark. I like pie. I like most military gear. Most people, places, and things, are cool with me. I dont care for fuckers who have no respect, refuse to speak coherently, and believe the world owes them something. Oooops. Negativity. Nix!
I like bewbies, big bewbies, and buddies who volunteer to be designated driver whilst I chase big bewbies!Chug-a-lug!
It seems, the older I get, (I'm gettin plenty old), the less I wanna know about her old boyfriend, how he mistreated her, and his failure to comply with reality. I wanna know about what trips her trigger, what triggers her trip, and the size of her bewbies! Did I mention that I like bewbies?
Once upon a time, I subscribed to the 'boogie till ya puke' school of party madness....now I like bewbies! Bewbies are cool!
What if I told you that you could erase the effects of aging.....just like that. I'd hope you would say "screw you, I like bewbies!"
"Fade away the apperance of wrinkles, just like that"
"Screw you....I like b-b-b-b-bewbies!"
I guess I'm crocked....but you know what?
I like PIE!