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Lowered the office chair of a 5 foot nothing woman. could barely see above the desk., if someone takes the day off all their stuff my find itself stacked as a tower, the best one was not by me though. Person's remote start started giving a low battery beep. They hid it in another person's desk and did the whole I don't hear anything while they reorganized their desk to find the source of the noise
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Coworker opened the hood of a customer's car and found a live possum under the hood. Screamed, shut the hood and told the customer he couldn't change the oil until the animal was gone. She came back a couple days later. We made sure he would be the one working on the car, and put a rubber rat on top of the engine. He screamed. He also locks his vehicle now, since we put condoms on his shifter and turn signal handle, with a note saying "I was shopping, found these and thought of you. Can't wait for the fun later."
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Pranks are stupid. You never know when the guy that got pranked is on his last nerve and will decide to take his anger out on anyone who happens to be standing near. I used to know a real prankster whose idea of a good time was to buy a box of fresh bait squid, open it, and leave it under the seat of another guy's work truck on Friday. By Monday you would come into work and the whole box of bait would be nothing but maggots and putrid stink. It ended when that particular prankster got beat near to hospitalization and fired for being an asshole. I'm sure the prankster sees it as harmless fun, but everybody else sees it as harming productivity, and ruining morale.
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Years ago, while working for an HVAC and plumbing company:
Electric service came in upstairs in the garage, kitchen was downstairs overlooking the lake as far away from the service as possible. Electrician bitched and moaned all day about what a shitty house it was to wire and all of the difficulties he was having (it was a shitty house to plumb as well). Coworker finds a scrap or the wire used for the range feed and stuffs it up, above a doorway, with the actual range feed. Co-worker calls electrician over and says " Hey Joe, I'm tired of your bitching, here's something to bitch about", he then yanks a loop of the scrap wire loose enough to shear it in half with a cable cutter...the look of defeat on the electrician's face is still with me to this day. As I recall, that electrician never spoke to us again without saying multitudes of fuck and fuckers. |
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I'm sure the prankster sees it as harmless fun, but everybody else sees it as harming productivity, and ruining morale. View Quote |
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Our office phone have the normal volume adjustment on top of the phone, but only a select few of us know about the volume adjustment and the bottom of the phone as well.
Laughter ensues. |
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Some of this shit posted here would get someone killed around here. Seriously. You shit in my lunchbox, I hope you enjoyed that last dump. It's worth the jail time if it isn't found justifiable homicide.
OK, enough of my internet badassery. Quite a few pranks have been pulled around here over the years. I still top the list as the best one. Parking places are a big deal here. It's based on time of service and nothing else. I had just started here in Feb of '93. Boss had a desirable parking lot next door. He was out of town. New parking permits came and they are in envelops that are resealable gummy adhesive. We swapped his with my pass that puts you down my the river for a good long walk into work. His boss even wrote a letter explaining why he was being moved out to BFE. Everyone was involved but the receptionist. She was a mean one when she wanted to be. After everyone was huddled around looking at his letter when he returned to work, I opened mine and disclosed that I had been moved up to his lot. Receptionists claws came out and I fessed up! Boss got even with me when we went on a "field trip" to a news center up in Charlotte. He told me I was representing the University and I needed to wear a suit. I showed up that morning in a coat and tie and them most uncomfortable shoes I've ever owned. Same boss came in to work one day and told me to go out to his truck and in the bed was a free rifle case he was giving me. His wife worked at a major firearms distributor up the road and got it free. He wanted me to go get it before it was stolen. Sure enough, got down there and there it was. But I out smarted him. I went and got my car and came up and took it out and straight into my trunk. We had a dignitary on campus that day for commencements. Place was crawling with Secrete Service. I got an old friend a job here that was in the Air Guard reserves. Of course he leaves his PC open when he goes to lunch. I changed his screen saver to a bunch of guys on the beach wearing banana hammocks. He got even by removing every damned bolt in my office chair and put it back together with tape and bubble gum. I walked in that morning and pulled my chair back and it fell into pieces all over the floor. I stuck a tail pipe whistler in another coworkers tail pipe. He tried to put it in mine, but hard to do with 2.5" duals. Forgot one of the best. Same friend in the reserves. Called up his work number on the air base, someone answered and said he was out on the flight line, could they take a message. And in my best fagotian accent, "Sure Honey, tell Lambchop our AIDS test came back negative and I'm ready to celebrate tonight! And he's on his knees first!" He called me an hour later cursing my like a sailor. Took him months to get over that one!!! |
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took a motion detector and put it inline with a coworker's monitor. if they kept their legs still under their desk too long, the monitor would shut off. as soon as they moved, back on. didn't really hurt anything, but really annoyed that coworker for almost a month before they figured it out
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Not any more.
My favorite, being a machine gun touch typist is to swap keys on the keyboard of those who hunt and peck for keys. Usually if you figure their user I'd/password you just swap a couple keys. They keep pressing G and D keeps popping up on the screen. Did it to a friend and forgot all about it. Got a call from her husband (our families camped out and hunted together) that she came in that day and her computer and keyboard started beeping constantly like a car horn and wouldn't stop and she was freaking out. I managed to get it fixed and owned up to it so she didn't get in trouble. I looked like a four year old and lost a friend. |
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It's all fun and games -
When I was a young Airman someone took my motorcycle helmet and another helmet of a friend (both were expensive Arai replica helmets) and smeared aircraft grease all on the inside of the ear cutouts. Needless to say both helmets were ruined. The fucker that did it went to Captain's Mast (NJP), he had to pay for two new replacement helmets out of his pocket. |
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One year, during SHOT Show, we put a coworkers truck on Craigslist and said it was "FREE TO A GOOD HOME, first one to call gets the truck". He got something like 3000 calls the first day. We put one of our co-workers staplers in jello. We filled a coworkers vents in his vehicle with the little pieces of paper from a two hole punch. i taped fishing line to a dollar bill and left it on the floor, trying to get a coworker, a different coworker (one WITHOUT a sense of humor) walked in and asked who's dollar it was. she bent over to grab it, and i pulled it away a couple feet. She stood back up, looked confused, and took a step forward, and bent over AGAIN!, I pulled it away again. This happened three times before she realized the dollar was on a string. We super glued a coworkers headset to his phone and called him. He almost knocked himself silly when he answered the phone and smacked himself in the head with the entire phone.
The best..... when you walk into the men's room in my office, to the left is four sinks, two urinals (with dividers), then two stalls. A coworker and I took a mannequin that we had for displays, and put a ballistic helmet, Oakley goggles, pants and boots on it. We then stood it up inside the first stall to where it looked like it was "peeking" over the stall down onto the urinals. We left it there and forgot about it. That weekend, the alarm on my building went off. My General Manager said it was hilarious because the deputy clearing the building opened the bathroom door and almost shit himself! He started screaming to the mannequin to "put his fucking hands in the air!" after screaming it several times, his partner started laughing his ass of and told him it was a dummy. The deputy still comes in here and tells us how he almost shot the mannequin. |
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I used to set the alarm on my watch to 1 second and auto restart then hook it to a ladder in the neighborhood pool. Drove the other kids absolutely bonkers trying to figure out where the beeping was coming from. Some kids wouldn't say anything but you could absolutely tell they were perplexed. The look on their faces as they would keep going under and popping up and looking around said it all. Some of them would swear they were hearing a beep and their parents would have the look on their faces. Nobody ever figured it out, to my knowledge.
It's kind of funny how far that little beep will carry underwater. |
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We had a real douche that did our shipping and receiving, the type that would dish it out but couldn't even take the slightest bit of retaliation without being a cry baby bitch.
Well, this jackass had a coffee mug full of the clicky style ink pens and I had finally had enough of his shit. One night after he was gone for the day, I went back to his little area and proceeded to take every spring out of every ink pen he had jammed in this coffee cup...hilarity ensued. I happened to be walking up the steps by his area a couple days later when I hear the unmistakable sound of a clicky pen trying to click. Then I hear, "What the...? Who the...? Mother FUCKER!!!" and a loud crash. He tried to use about 3 or 4 of the pens before he figured it out and proceeded to sling coffee cup full of "defective" pens against the wall where upon impact several burst open and covered our bosses door with ink. After that I was told I needed to leave the guy alone for a while. |
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The manager of the scrap yard next door to my shop stopped in for a visit one day and his phone rang nonstop the whole time he was there. Every time it rang, he looked at it, shook his head, sent the call to voicemail and then said "bastards". I asked what was going on and he said that apparently one of his coworkers had placed a couple of adds in local "Swap and Sell" type papers for free goats. I think that went on for a couple of weeks before the calls finally slowed down. To this day, I still ask if he's got any free goats when he comes in.
When I was in college I worked part time at AutoZone. A couple of the guys there seemed to get great pleasure in waiting for one of us to go to the bathroom and then take a lighter & can of carb cleaner and shooting a five or six foot flame under the door while you were taking a shit. If they didn't have a can of carb cleaner handy they'd take a roll of duct tape and throw it as hard as they could from 20' away. Sounded like a damn bomb going off when it hit the door. Either one would scare the shit out of you, literally. |
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A few years ago I told a friend of mine about the reviews on Amazon for Haribo Sugar Free Gummi Bears. They are hysterical. They've since stop selling the sugar free type on Amazon because it became a "thing" to write funny reviews on there.
The sugar free ones contain Lycasin, which is a sugar alcohol. Many people, including myself, don't tolerate it well... we'll leave the description at gastric distress. She showed her brother the reviews, he ended up buying a 5 lb. bag for his co-workers. Apparently the bag was gone pretty quick... and so were some of the co-workers. Anytime they couldn't find someone they had to check the bathroom. |
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Place I used to work at had a very small office off the main floor. Wait till one of the salespeople was stuck on the phone with something serious like an RMA or with HQ and go in and rip a nasty fart and quick slam the door shut.
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Know of a desk worker who uses their desk to pull themselves and office chair to it? Smear a streak of tooth paste (that doesn't have a strong smell) under the lip of their desk..did this a few times. People always let out a loud "ough! What the hell!" Clear tape under an optical mouse is best, only half way works so it's not as obvious they will fiddle with it for a bit before checking. If they have a dark colored office chair a couple cap fills of water won't normally be noticed at first or until they stand up with a wet spot on their ass.
Clear tacky glue wherever appliciable for a practical joke. Cover desk in sticky notes...open sun roof? Few hand fills of shredder paper (cross cut for best frustration) list goes on. |
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Once when my boss was standing at the vending machine, I zapped him with an 80,000v stun gun and he fell down. As soon as he hit the floor I sprayed 3M aerosol adhesive in his hair, as much as I could soak it before he got up. I remember him running his fingers through his hair trying to get it out, yelling "WHAT IS THIS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE", unintentionally forming his hair into pointy clumps like liberty spikes. I forget how he pranked me back but I think I got off easy. Same place, screwed the bathroom door shut with 3" drywall screws while a coworker was taking a dump. Same place, took a dump in a coworker's toolbox. I can think of probably a dozen more from other jobs, one including an air horn hooked to the 220v compressor and one involving octopus from the Chinese food restaurant being swapped into an Arby's sandwich. This was 25 years ago, I promise I'm a lot nicer now. View Quote |
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Im not going to go into detail, but back in the day when being a cop used to be fun, many, many things happened.
Emails sent out if left logged on OC sprayed into AC units Cars moved Shoes set on fire Sniffing of fingers for marijuana with a rookie after catching lesbians out in a park after dark...... Being a cop used to be sooo much fun |
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I used to have a hole punch that we used to use for punching tags we hung on sprinkler risers. I didn't bother cleaning the trap out of the little dots for a month. One day I was working with a guy who was busting my ass all day. So I asked for his car keys, telling him I needed to get a tool out of his truck. I go out to my car, get my hole punch and take it to his truck. I proceed to pour the little dots into his defroster vent and then turned the fan knob all the way up. When we broke for lunch I watched him get in his truck and turn the key. Then it snowed. In his truck. I couldn't stop laughing. For a year those little dots came out of his vent every time he turned his defroster on.
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Take screenshot of desktop, and make it the background.
Also invert the mouse buttons. ETA: Delete all icons off desktop after taking screenshot. |
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I would change the screensaver on peoples computers if they walked away and didn't lock it up. Usually David Hasselhoff, Richard Simmons or Walter Mercado. I would also rotate screens, re arrange keys on keyboards and tape over mouses. Got to a point where people were scared to get up from their desks. Had a grumpy coworker. He was always in a bad mood and was very cynical. I spread a rumor that he was that way because before he worked in our office he worked at the pound and he was the one that had to give the animals the injections that put them to sleep when they didn't get adopted. Have a coworker that was very shy and would only speak in whispers. I would play videos of girls singing and loudly say "oh my gosh Patty you sing so beautifully". Various people would come by her desk asking her to sing for them. She hated me for that one. View Quote |
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I had bought an annoyatron gizmo online that would make a high pitch beep at random time intervals between 5 and 7 minutes. I stuck it in the computer case of the guy across the aisle... After 3 days a different coworker asked if anyone heard a beeping... another couple days the victim was pretty sure it was in his cube...another couple days it had to be the PC beeping, "maybe the bios battery is dying" lol, yeah maybe that's it Our boss sits right next to him, and the beep was high pitched enough where he never heard it, people thought he was nuts. Finally almost 2 weeks from when in first planted the bug I hear him on the phone with IT getting someone sent down there and I walked over and pulled it out "gottcha!" He explained to the IT guy that there wasn't really a problem and canceled the service ticket Lol. Worked as advertised View Quote |
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Small plastic spider taped to the mouthpiece of a landline phone will make a grown man scream like a little girl.
He was doing so well for about 15 sec, Then I think maybe his lips rubbed it. He threw the phone then started dancing and screaming like he was being pulled into a wood chipper. |
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One guy who'd never lock his workstation no matter how many times we pranked him... Our Exchange server for email had a profanity filter activated.
So I went into his auto-signature in Outlook and added the word "Shit" to his signature, but since it was Rich Text I was able to change it to white text on a white background. So every email he sent out or replied to had an invisible white "Shit" on it. The automatic replies that the Exchange server was blocking his email due to the profanity would come back in plain flat text without any formatting so the "Shit" was visible. But it still took him awhile to figure it out. |
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Someone takes a shit in my toolbox and I'm going to whoop someone's ass. That's not a joke, not is a stun gun View Quote If it makes you feel any better, I'm still good friends with the guy and he brings it up with a sincere laugh occasionally. |
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I hate my coworkers. Tricks would not be harmless but I don't go there.
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I'm giggling that 15 years later, you still don't know it's a Cobb salad. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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I worked in a restaurant that did a lot of cob salads during the lunch rush. The salad lady was totally anal about her prep, and was a mean bitch anyway. The cob has hard boiled egg, which had to be peeled and cut for every salad. We used to seed her container of cooked eggs with a few raw ones, and forget all about it until the middle of the lunch rush when she would go ape and start screaming at all us line cooks. I giggle just thinking about it 15 years later |
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I occasionally put rainbow stickers on the cars of macho men. View Quote My uncle and his coworkers once swapped out tailgates on F150s - One brown, one blue. One of the owners was involved. The other guy took a week for him to notice. |
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A few years ago I told a friend of mine about the reviews on Amazon for Haribo Sugar Free Gummi Bears. They are hysterical. They've since stop selling the sugar free type on Amazon because it became a "thing" to write funny reviews on there. The sugar free ones contain Lycasin, which is a sugar alcohol. Many people, including myself, don't tolerate it well... we'll leave the description at gastric distress. She showed her brother the reviews, he ended up buying a 5 lb. bag for his co-workers. Apparently the bag was gone pretty quick... and so were some of the co-workers. Anytime they couldn't find someone they had to check the bathroom. View Quote |
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Once when my boss was standing at the vending machine, I zapped him with an 80,000v stun gun and he fell down. As soon as he hit the floor I sprayed 3M aerosol adhesive in his hair, as much as I could soak it before he got up. I remember him running his fingers through his hair trying to get it out, yelling "WHAT IS THIS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE", unintentionally forming his hair into pointy clumps like liberty spikes. I forget how he pranked me back but I think I got off easy. Same place, screwed the bathroom door shut with 3" drywall screws while a coworker was taking a dump. Same place, took a dump in a coworker's toolbox. I can think of probably a dozen more from other jobs, one including an air horn hooked to the 220v compressor and one involving octopus from the Chinese food restaurant being swapped into an Arby's sandwich. This was 25 years ago, I promise I'm a lot nicer now. View Quote |
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How about keeping the childish shit out of the work place while the adults are trying to get shit done View Quote For a while we had a fire dummy out back at the SO. The following things may have happened between midnight and 4 am. Dummy set up at the court clerks outside table. With a shotgun under its chin. (one patrolman came left and returned before he noticed it---30 feet from his office door.). Dummy thrown off the roof as a patrolman pulled in with pocket recorder groaning in pain playing in a pocket. Fire dummy thrown off roof with noose around its neck. |
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Because a bored cop (and firefighter and EMT) is a terrible thing. For a while we had a fire dummy out back at the SO. The following things may have happened between midnight and 4 am. Dummy set up at the court clerks outside table. With a shotgun under its chin. (one patrolman came left and returned before he noticed it---30 feet from his office door.). Dummy thrown off the roof as a patrolman pulled in with pocket recorder groaning in pain playing in a pocket. Fire dummy thrown off roof with noose around its neck. View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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How about keeping the childish shit out of the work place while the adults are trying to get shit done For a while we had a fire dummy out back at the SO. The following things may have happened between midnight and 4 am. Dummy set up at the court clerks outside table. With a shotgun under its chin. (one patrolman came left and returned before he noticed it---30 feet from his office door.). Dummy thrown off the roof as a patrolman pulled in with pocket recorder groaning in pain playing in a pocket. Fire dummy thrown off roof with noose around its neck. |
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That's why you need to pick your victim. Pull the prank during down or slow time, and pull it on someone who will take it with the humor you intend, and ideally pull something in return. Don't do anything that will actually cause damage or injury, set some limits. It really CAN be harmless fun, if done right. View Quote When I work for people I go to work to make money and do my job not play fuck fuck games with middle age adolescents. When people work for me I'm not paying them to fuck with their coworkers. Every person I've worked with that really enjoyed pranking people was either an asshole, a bully, socially retarded or some combination of the three. It almost always bit them in the ass one way or the other. |
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Put a 4" 3/8 or 7/16 bolt in the pivot of a reclining office chair. Tape a stink bomb in the gap.
When the person sits down and leans back the bolt falls out of the pivot and you cannot get out of the chair without the stink bomb vial getting ruptured. The second time is even better because they recognize the sound of the bolt hitting the floor and they know they are fucked. |
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In one of our cleaning rooms tonight a door is going off. It's one of those battery powered ones that will sound an alarm if opened. Well the battery is dying and it chirps every few minutes. One of my coworkers keeps asking what the sound is and everyone in the plant is fucking with him saying they dont hear shit. He's starting to develop a bit of a complex about it. View Quote |
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Put a 4" 3/8 or 7/16 bolt in the pivot of a reclining office chair. Tape a stink bomb in the gap. When the person sits down and leans back the bolt falls out of the pivot and you cannot get out of the chair without the stink bomb vial getting ruptured. The second time is even better because they recognize the sound of the bolt hitting the floor and they know they are fucked. View Quote |
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