This. Means. War. A stinky, stinky war. NEW UPDATE- I HAVE A P.O.W.- PG.5

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - This. Means. War. A stinky, stinky war. NEW UPDATE- I HAVE A P.O.W.- PG.5 (Page 1 of 3)

Posted: 10/26/2007 9:35:49 PM EDT

I try to be a nice guy. All I ever wanted was to live in peace. I don't kill shit for the fun of it. But you just had to provoke me. 2 nights ago, when I caught one of you rummaging through my barn, did I shoot him? No. I thought he was scared and confused. I was wrong. At great risk to myself and my vehicle, I drove him home. Do you know many people who would drive for 15 minutes, down a logging road in their SUV with a fucking skunk in a live trap in the back, all to allow said skunk to live a long and happy life in the nearest state land? I sure as fuck don't. Then tonight, I blissfully walk outside with my dog and you ambush us 5 fucking feet from my door. I should have seen the first contact for what it was. You clever little bastards were running recon on me. You probed for an avenue of attack and found one.

You underestimated me, skunk. The effects of your attack were temporary. I may have wished for death, but by tomorrow, my vision will have cleared, (according to the doctor) and although my sense of smell won't be right for weeks, I will use that to my advantage. I am now sensitized to your primary weapon. You've given this fight you're best shot, and it wasn't good enough.

Listen up Pepe. You have mistaken my mercy with weakness. It's a mistake you shall not live long to regret. Maybe if you'd had a little more foresight. You know, considered the timing of your attack a little better. You really should have taken the time and learned to read a fucking calendar, because skunk season in New York opened on October 25, and I just got a new red dot for my AR.

I have always wished to live in peace with your kind, I've never wished for war, never wanted to kill any of you, but you have pushed me to the point of no return. You started this skunk, and I'm going to end it.

You'd better evolve opposable thumbs and learn how to navigate New York's complicated process of firearms purchasing real quick, cause I'm coming for you.

"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of skunks."

ETA-link-Join My Skunk Jihad!!!

Posted: 10/26/2007 9:39:33 PM EDT

[#1]

I have very high hopes for this thread.

-patry

Posted: 10/26/2007 9:45:59 PM EDT

[#2]

This is also a tag for the body count.

Posted: 10/26/2007 9:45:59 PM EDT

[#3]

They drew first blood. Do what has to be done.

No mercy

Posted: 10/26/2007 9:48:44 PM EDT

[#4]

Posted: 10/26/2007 9:57:39 PM EDT

[#5]

Wow, man if he sprayed you, you stink. I had a dog that loved to chase skunks. The out come was never good.

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:03:48 PM EDT

[#6]

Let me be the first to say;

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:05:15 PM EDT

[#7]

10/10

In anticipation for the next update.

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:09:51 PM EDT

[#8]

I'm puttin' $5 on the skunk!

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:16:56 PM EDT

[#9]

Man that sucks.

Wash that shit off of anything it got on.

It will fuck the paint up.

We got sprayed playing night golf one time.

That damned cart had spots on it from that day forward.

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:19:30 PM EDT

[#10]

This, very well may end up being epic...

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:30:04 PM EDT

[#11]

Don't be vengeful. Be thankful.

"Dear Lord, I am thankful that, in Your infiinte wisdom, You did not choose to make skunks the size of horses."

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:30:27 PM EDT

[#12]

This could be good!

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:37:52 PM EDT

[#13]

Quoted:
Let me be the first to say;

i102.photobucket.com/albums/m83/cpjones630/killitwithfire.jpg

+1

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:41:00 PM EDT

[#14]

Those bastards!

Obviously, those polecat-fascists saw your civility as a sign of weakness. Time to unleash hell on them.

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:47:12 PM EDT

[#15]

In before the "Skunks are people too" idiot that will likely show up soon.

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:51:23 PM EDT

[#16]

Cry Havoc and Let Loose the Dogs of Stinky War !!!!

Posted: 10/26/2007 10:56:26 PM EDT

[#17]

Join my Skunk Jihad!!!

Posted: 10/26/2007 11:00:10 PM EDT

[#18]

Watch out for ALF they are watching.

Posted: 10/26/2007 11:02:22 PM EDT

[#19]

I can tell you this much. If you drop them and the cage you caught them into a water tank they will kick for about 19 minutes.
Phessor

Posted: 10/26/2007 11:08:30 PM EDT

[#20]

Puny human.

We owned you before you stood up off all fours.

We own you now.

Talk's cheap.

Tactical talk is amusing.

The best you can bring will only cut into our reproduction rate enough to cull the weak from our legions.

You've drawn your last breath of clean air.

Ever.

Kneel and pay homage to your Masters.

Or resist, and we will PUT you on your knees, begging forgiveness.

Snif...snif...

You stink.

Posted: 10/26/2007 11:53:40 PM EDT

[#21]

So...Wait.... You put a live skunk IN your car?

I cant believe you didn't get sprayed then....

Posted: 10/27/2007 12:04:13 AM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
So...Wait.... You put a live skunk IN your car?

I cant believe you didn't get sprayed then....

yes, you read that right. a live skunk, in the passenger compartment of my vehicle, for about 7 miles. the last 2 miles of which are so shitty that 4 wheel drive is a must. my face 2 feet from the skunk for the 5 minutes i had to hold the trap open while it decided weather or not to start a new life in a new home. standing like a statue while it decided to circle me before moseying off into the woods.

then 2 days later i get sprayed stepping out my back door.

the irony of it all has not escaped me.

Posted: 10/27/2007 12:35:27 AM EDT

[#23]

LOL ! ! Very good, I have them here every night, too.

Posted: 10/27/2007 1:23:01 AM EDT

[#24]

This thread is full of WIN!

Yes, I know full well the effects of a well aimed skunk assault.

Show no mercy, and no quarter.

Posted: 10/27/2007 1:31:13 AM EDT

[#25]

This is going to be AWESOME..................

" The tree of odiferousness must be watered with the blood of skunks and perfume designers"

Posted: 10/27/2007 1:45:00 AM EDT

[#26]

p2 p0wn4g3.

high body counts are good.

Posted: 10/27/2007 2:13:00 AM EDT

[#27]

Kilgore walks to a group of dead skunks :

KILGORE
"What we have here... Two of spades, three of spades,
four of diamonds, six of clubs, ace of spades. Isn't one
worth a Jack in the whole bunch..."

LANCE
"Hey Captain, what's that ?"

WILLARD
"Death cards."

LANCE
"What ?"

WILLARD
"Death cards. Let Charlie know who did this."

Posted: 10/27/2007 2:28:17 AM EDT

[#28]

I know what I'll be doing tonight

Posted: 10/27/2007 2:35:32 AM EDT

[#29]

this will be good

Posted: 10/27/2007 3:38:14 AM EDT

[#30]

"because skunk season in New York opened on October 25, and I just got a new red dot for my AR." Classic!

Posted: 10/27/2007 3:48:19 AM EDT

[#31]

All skunks should be considered rabid. Use the live trap and your car exhaust run under a tarp covering the trap for ultimate pacification.

Posted: 10/27/2007 3:53:28 AM EDT

[#32]

Quoted:
"because skunk season in New York opened on October 25, and I just got a new red dot for my AR." Classic!

That is sig line worthy.

Posted: 10/27/2007 3:54:28 AM EDT

[#33]

Careful they can spray when you shoot them.

Posted: 10/27/2007 5:51:43 AM EDT

[#34]

Trautman: Well you did some pushing on your own Hawken50.
Hawken50: They drew first blood, not me.
Trautman: Look Hawken50, let me come in and get you the hell out of there!
Hawken50: They drew first blood...
Trautman: Hawken50, are you still reading me? Company leader to Raven! Hawken50! Acknowledge!

Posted: 10/27/2007 11:17:16 AM EDT

[#35]

Very funny, can't wait for the outcome ..

Posted: 10/27/2007 11:20:59 AM EDT

[#36]

Oh my God.

Posted: 10/27/2007 11:38:04 AM EDT

[#37]

We're not surrounded.

We're just scrubbing in all directions.

Posted: 10/27/2007 11:55:42 AM EDT

[#38]

Tagged for a high probability of EPIC win!

Posted: 10/27/2007 12:06:40 PM EDT

[#39]

The horror, the horror...

Posted: 10/27/2007 12:11:58 PM EDT

[#40]

Quoted:
OST

Posted: 10/27/2007 1:16:08 PM EDT

[#41]

oh yes this is going to be good.

Posted: 10/27/2007 4:27:14 PM EDT

[#42]

A few years ago, my parents had a skunk living on their property, and were not pleased with the fact. My father caught it in a "live trap," set up a chair a safe distance away, and shot it with a 10/22 while it was in the trap. It did not spray.

He then performed a veritable killing with fire, pouring lamp oil (IIRC) on the corpse and burning it, still in the trap. The corpse was safely disposed of and it did not befoul the yard.

Sadly, no pictures

Posted: 10/27/2007 5:38:34 PM EDT

[#43]

A conversation my wife and had today.

her- "goddamn it! this war is tearing your family apart! can't you see that?"

me- "who do you think i'm doing this for, myself? i'm doing it so our daughter won't have to live her life in fear. and i'm doing it cause no one else will. they need to pay."

her- sobbing "can't you just let it go? all this hate is going to burn you up inside."

me- "it keeps me warm."

Tonight, I intend to take this fight to the enemy. if you don't hear from me by morning, it means i stink so badly my wife won't let me in the house.

Posted: 10/27/2007 5:42:40 PM EDT

[#44]

and i own page 3

Posted: 10/27/2007 5:48:00 PM EDT

[#45]

To kill a skunk without it spraying you, you have to break its spine. A long pole is best for this. Swat the varmit with a pole between its shoulders and haunch, breaking the spine and disabling it. You can smash its head after that or just let it expire. This is the only way.

Posted: 10/27/2007 6:13:38 PM EDT

[#46]

160 conibear trap baited with marshmellows. Set it in a "cubby" if dogs are around. It will be stone dead in the morning. The ones I caught like this didnt spray.

I have heard if you shoot them in the lungs they wont spray. Havent tried it yet.

Posted: 10/27/2007 6:18:03 PM EDT

[#47]

I am pretty sure if you shot a skunk with a frangible .223 bullet it won't be able to spray because it will be dead. But you know I could be wrong.

Posted: 10/27/2007 6:19:10 PM EDT

[#48]

The fragments might pierce the gland that holds the foul chemicals of suffering. You don't want that...

Posted: 10/27/2007 6:21:47 PM EDT

[#49]

Quoted:
<snip>
You'd better evolve opposable thumbs and learn how to navigate New York's complicated process of firearms purchasing real quick, cause I'm coming for you.

"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of skunks."

ETA-Join My Skunk Jihad!!!

10/10

Posted: 10/27/2007 9:42:59 PM EDT

[#50]

UPTATE 10-29-07

ok, so no luck yet. the only skunk I've seen since the 'incident' was road kill. I was tempted to snatch up the body, bring it home, video myself pissing on it and post it. however, the wife has finally let me sleep in my own bed, and I'm not willing to risk stinking myself up and spending another night on the couch to conduct a psychological warfare campaign that will probably never reach it's target. unless one of you traitorous bastards is leaking information to them.

one side effect of the "incident" seems to be nocturnal paranoia. night terrors, I've heard it called. to put it in perspective, picture a 200 pound, 27 year old man, a decorated veteran with an AR-15, a side arm, and a 120lb dog, screaming like a little girl when the neighbors black and white cat walks around a corner 10 feet from him while he's walking the dog. snuggles was about 1/8 of a trigger pull away from an untimely demise.

anywho, i've set a couple live traps and baited them with tuna, hopefully i'll be reporting on my first kill before long.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - This. Means. War. A stinky, stinky war. NEW UPDATE- I HAVE A P.O.W.- PG.5 (Page 1 of 3)

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