Gary Oldman, the actor, is public about it his alcoholism.  He is also quite public about how AA saved his life.  Same with Carol Burnett, John Larroquette, Dick van Dyke.  There are AA meetings at national & international physicians meetings.

Nothing is 100%, but people I know that go to AA credit it with their sobriety.

It doesn't help instantly, all your problems are still there. It's taught me a new way of thinking and living so I can deal with the problems of the past and live in today without stressing out about everything.

Will be 3 years sober in February. This is the longest stretch since I was about 11. The harder I tried on my own the worse things got. I gave up my way of thinking and followed suggestions for the first time in my life. Things got A LOT easier then. I got real good at saying "ok" whether I wanted to or not. Those people had been where I was at and were living happy and free, I wanted what they had so I had to do what they did to get there.

Most people show up to AA feeling like a failure and are embarrassed. If this describes you, keep in mind that everyone that is in those rooms has been in your shoes and sometimes worse.

Anyone can get physically addicted to something. To be an addict/alcoholic is a whole other thing that takes more than just "sucking it up". About 10% of the population are addicts/alcoholics, the rest just have a problem and can "suck it up" and go about their lives just fine.

The very definition of Insanity is doing things the same way over and over again and expecting to get a different result each time.

AA represents a change from what you are doing now, give it a shot. Give them a shot. Give yourself a shot. They were all you when they walked in the door on their first day too.

One is too many and ten is not enough. Lots of folks have been there.

Your not the first or the last - best of luck

There is also a faith based program that is called Celebrate Recovery. If your religious, it may be another option.

Hang in there.

here's the online version of the Big Book. I've also got it on my Kindle App on my phone so it's everywhere I go along with some other AA books.
Really opened my eyes up when I read a book written in the 1930's that described me. I knew I wasn't different than a lot of people and those people had the solution I sought.
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous

PM sent with my contact info.

ETA: In case someone else is reading that needs help.

1) Go to a meeting and bring 10 bucks to purchase a "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous.

2) Read the first 164 pages.

3) Keep going to meetings.

4) Find another man you respect, trust and want the sobriety he has. Ask that man to be you Sponsor.

Anybody with questions can at anytime PM me. I will provide my contact information for easier comms.

If you do 90 meetings in 90 days and don’t drink I can guarantee your life will be better.

It works if you work it. It’s that simple.

It. Only. Works. If. YOU. Work. IT!

This. Op you’re highly likely physically addicted and only an inpatient detox can get you off the stuff. My name is spidey and I’m an alchoholic. Thankfully after detox and rehab I’m just an alchoholic that doesn’t drink. It will kill you quick if you don’t get help.

How does AA help?  To date it is the most effective program to get sober and stay sober. It works for the alchoholic mind. Fellowship and being with others who suffer with it and being honest with them and yourself works.

Admitting that you are powerless over alchohol is the first step.

Funny how this pops up when I have two of my best friends dealing with alcoholism at a tipping point right now. One friend has gone on the wagon and off the wagon a number of times and right now he has found AA and has found some solid people to help him. He realizes he has a problem that is much bigger than he can comprehend. It's like wrestling a snake , just when you think you have it under control , it wraps itself back around around you and chokes your life.

On the other side , my other buddy realizes he has a issue with booze and even after a heart attack and multiple health issues related to booze, is unable to change the direction of his life and his addiction. It's honestly too bad as I have tried to reason with him to no avail. If he makes it to 55 I will be surprised.  Each day I expect a call from his mom saying he has passed away because he was unable to understand and deal with his addiction.

Its messed up.............

Why don’t you flush them?

Very true.

Regards to Bill. Happy Thanksgiving!!

My Uncle Leo was a self-made millionaire by the mid 1970's who started out as a traveling salesman. His father (my grandfather) died of alcoholism before I was born and he had just watched his younger brother die from the same. Leo was a heavy drinker as well and his brother's death hit him hard and put him into a state of unbearable depression.

One day in 1975 (?) he grabbed a revolver and went to his backyard and placed the gun to his head. As he was about to pull the trigger he noticed a large pile of dog poop in the yard. According to him he reached into the pile and began to smear it all over his(nice) clothes. Why ? "To get my mind off shooting myself and on to thinking about getting this shit off of my clothing...."

Well, it worked. He joined AA the next day and never missed a meeting rest of his life. He died just after getting his 25 year medallion or whatever and never took another drink during those years. -Even kept booze in his house and served others without it bothering him. He made it a point to go to meetings in the worst parts of town as he felt more solidarity with these folks than with his wealthy cronies. In fact, he lost many friends in those circles due to giving up the booze. Leo was an absolute hoot to know and the life of any party. He was the perfect cross between John Wayne and Don Rickles if you can imagine that, and this was after giving up the booze.

Best of luck with your situation OP, and 'Happy Birthday' !

I can’t relate like many here can but my wife and I are both praying for you man. It takes a bigger man than many to face this kind of shit head on like you’re doing. Don’t EVER give up.

I had no idea that there were so many sober people here. I should have known. This thread has helped me. Thanks OP

Wow, 2 nights in a row of "I am an alky thread."
Here is what I know/understand. Stop with the "if you die" shit. WE WILL ALL DIE regardless of our choices. Frak
Make your own choices/decisions based on you, not what others think of you.
YOU will decide what you should do and what route you should take. AA, meds, combo, solo journey....... YOU know YOU.

I know that I really should stop or at the very least cut down on my own drinking. As it does not significantly impact my personal/social/work life I choose to accept it. While it costs waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much $$ for me, I feel it balances out. If I reach a point of where it is detrimental, I will make the decision to change.

I guess what I am saying is, as one who wrestled with the nicotine addiction and has quit ( twice now(not going there)), YOU need to make the decision to stop, not anyone else. Anything else will not make a difference. If you feel the need/desire to change than you have arrived at your own personal life change decision.

My $0.02 worth

Fuck Yeah!

Great to hear OP.  You may find that you are not as alone as you thought.  And that every problem that was exclusively yours really isn't.  You were not picked on by God and handed a crappy deal.  It's life.  Many times I left feeling very grateful that I only had the problems I had.

I wiould love to see a venue ask us to stand like they do for Vets, moms, first responders...  If they were honest the roll call would be very surprising.

Some people need the spectre of a higher power looming over them to keep themselves in check. That's why organized religion exists in the first place.

If it works, it works.

Go, you are not alone.

Share your problems or just listen to others. Help is out there if you want it.

Meeting #2 under my belt. Got my white chip (the surrender chip). I feel very empowered. Got the book on a kindle download. Looking forward to some alone time this weekend to start it.

Stopped at Kroger to pick up some last second things. First time in a long long time I didn't also buy beer.

Day 2 is a success so far. Many thanks to those who have posted here and reached out through private messages.

A very good friend of mine went from rock bottom to doing well, with the aid of AA. She is VERY active in it though.

Thought about you today and was hoping to see an update.

Proud of you, Sir. Keep up the hard work and work it. Keep us updated please

good luck OP. It will be a long road. The program helped saved the life of one of my closest friends.

Stopping pouring booze down your throat is just the first step in dealing with your problem. You need to get a full understanding of what you’re looking at. You have to retrain yourself in a lot of areas. Drinking is a symptom not the actual problem. Go to AA

Still doing well. No meeting yesterday or today. Going tomorrow morning to one. Bit of an urge here and there, but nothing extreme meaning no panic, nothing intense. More out of behavior/habit than anything. Like watching football, where’s my beer?

Been surrounded by alcohol last two days around family. Feeling a little envious, but deep down I’m playing the long game if that makes sense and know where I want to be, and know where I will be if I participate. Maybe my thinking is off right now, but it’s working for me.

Should have some free time tomorrow to start the book.

Day 4 about in the books.

Very happy for you.  You have a lot of support here.  Don't forget it.

Right now, you are riding a wave of optimism.  Do not be afraid to reach out when that wave subsides a little and you hit the hard moments.  Those are the danger.  And the best reason to keep going to your AA meetings.

Im not going to lie the meetings made me want to drink.  Havent had a drink in over a year now.

If the meeting and the Book work for you great,  just stick with it.  My uncle has been with the program for 23+ years.

Enjoy not feeling like shit everyday day op!  There are really good meetings and some real downers. If you come across a pity party meeting just avoid that place.

If you’re not shaking you hadn’t got to the physical addiction...yet. Meaning if you kept drinking you would have. Alcoholism only gets progressively worse, never better. Unless of course you stop drinking.

I never understand AA.

Culturally acceptable to be smash drunk so long as anyone does not cause problems.

If you're tired, broken and out of options then you have absolutely nothing to lose by trying AA. Please go.

I had a good friend who drank himself to death. He didn't need any support because he "could stop at any time."

AA is far and away the best treatment program for alchoholics. Nothing comes close to its success rate. If you go to your doctor and say you’re an alchoholic he will tell you to go to aa. Nothings works as well. When I was in rehab I had to show proof of attending 4 meetings a week, otherwise insurance wouldn’t pay. AA was a big part of my prescribed treatment plan. Still haven’t had a drop in almost a year.

Feel better already. Sleeping better as I’m not waking up to piss 1-2 times a night, plus once the buzz wore off it would wake me up.

As far as the shakes, I used to get them in the morning before I drank. My hands would shake writing, or doing detail tasks with my hands. One beer later, gone. This was when I was drinking every day. Don’t have any shakes now, never really noticed them past few days, if I even had them they must have passed quickly. Bit of a headache yesterday and a lesser one today. Been drinking a lot of water and Coke Zero. Need to find a substitute for the Coke Zero soon as I’m not a fan of artificial sweeteners.

I am worried about the long term damage I’ve done to my body. Been drinking extremely heavy past 2 years or so, about 15-20 beers a day.  Before that it was about 10-12 a day for 4-5 years, and before that 5-10 beers a day for about 5-6 years. Weekends were almost always more. As crazy as it sounds my health was always a concern, and I always said “I’ll quit next fill-in-the-blank” or something like that knowing I was slowly killing myself. I have always been an athlete. Hockey, tennis, cycling, iron mans.  All things that are cardio intense. Just this summer I did several century rides after cutting back to only a twelve pack the day before. I’m excited to see how much my performance improves with this change. Probably sounds weird to most people.

This time I quit out of the blue, no plan, no special date or after such and-such happens. Just said “fuck this shit” and did it. Decided at lunch one day.

And I’m about $50 richer today as that’s what I would have spent on beer from Wednesday through today, at least.

The sleeping will get better, you may have trouble getting good sleep as your body and mind get used to not having it.  Soon you’ll sleep better than you have in years.  Regarding health the liver is amazing in how much it can heal if not being poisoned every day. A good friend of mine died from alchoholic liver failure. He was 47.

Glad you took action and quit. It keeps getting better i promise you.

If they could do it and many are worse off than you you can do it also... listen to the testimony

After I gave it up, I was scratching my head wondering how I afforded it before!

Good job, keep it up!

Amazing how much money it costs to drink

I hit 100 hours of sobriety this evening.  Went to a meeting this morning.  Still staying quiet during the meetings, just soaking it all in.  Don't know when I'll be ready to share in that setting.  Found a Coke Zero replacement - Zevia soda.  Zero calories.  No artificial sweeteners or flavors.  But it's pricey ($5 a six pack, same as the Busch Light I would get at the gas station sometimes).  Then again, I don't plan on having 20 a day.  Also found a nice flavoring for water.  True Lime - no artificial flavors or sweeteners.  Much cheaper than the Zevia, but without the carbonation.  Thinking about finding some carbonated water and adding True Lime to it.  For whatever reason I need a drink substitute for the beer I was drinking, as I always had a beverage in front of me.

For anyone reading this who thinks "I need to stop drinking" or "I want to stop drinking" I was the poster child for the fully functional alcoholic and "wanted" and "needed" to quit for a long time.  When you are at the level of drinking I was at you can't schedule it, you can't coordinate it.  It has to be a decision right then and there with immediate follow through and support available.  At least that's how it was for me.  I planned and scheduled it for years.  "As soon as this project at work is done," or "as soon as we get back from vacation," or some other artificial deadline. Ultimately it happened at the most unexpected time - the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I don't know why, I don't know how, all I know is I made a phone call, found a meeting and went.

I never in my life thought I would give a shit about a made in China (probably) plastic chip that cost a few pennies, but I'll be damned if that little white chip didn't provide me with more power, more strength, more self worth than any drink has in my life.  Probably sounds pathetic.  But it is what it is.  All weekend long we had a fridge filled with beer in the garage as we had family over for Thanksgiving.  Would have been easy for me to walk out there unnoticed and slam a few without anyone knowing.  But I would have known, and I know the cycle would start again.  That chip in my pocket, I would stick my hand in my pocket and squeeze it tight and reach in the fridge and pull out a bottle of water, or the jar of pickles, or whatever else, but not a beer.

Thanks for all the support and messages.  Day 5 in the books.

I don't want to say how much Coke Zero I drink daily.

MInor setback, or maybe that's the wrong word. Have a bitch of a kidney stone that hit like a knife to the lower left back area around 3am. Couldn't sleep much after that. Passed a few stones over the last 2 months no problem but I was lit most of the time.

Now I'm 100% sober. Taking ibuprofen. Pain is pretty bad today. Do NOT want pain killers as I just got sober and I'm afraid a narcotic will be an easy fix and send me down a black hole. And I'm salivating at the thought of some bud light tonight to dull the pain and help me sleep. But I must persevere. Guess I'll just have to suck it up and deal with a few days of pain.  Fuck this thing hurts. It's 30-90 seconds of pain, nothing for a minute or two, then knife for 30 seconds then nothing for 30 seconds. It's not constant but wavy.

Any home non drug remedies?

Bump. Anybody, please...

Toradol is non-narcotic and helps stone pain immensely. But it is not OTC

If you are in pain go to the doctor. Fully explain your situation. Nobody in AA should tell you to neglect any decision you make with your doctor as long as you are 100% honest about everything.

Being new, it is perfectly fine to "pass" at meetings. Old timers will even respect you for it. Listening is the key.

Keep that chip with you. There is one way it is OK to drink. If you stick that chip under your tongue and it dissolves...... you are GTG.

I sent you my cell/email already. Feel free to contact me with any problems you have. Although, if you have been to a few AA meetings you should be getting guy's phone numbers. That is of importance.

- Dave

ETA: Maybe someday, you can get the ARFCOM Gods to change your username. LOL.

AA works for many as it almost forces a belief in "god".  They will try to cover it with the words "higher power", but it's BS.  ALL of the literature is god this, god that , god blah, blah, blah....

When you anchor your new sobriety in the religion of AA the typical fear mongering of a sky wizard scares you to stay sober.  People in sobriety are almost as annoying as born again christians.

BTW, I've got a bit of time too...

Congrats OP! Stick with it.

I just hit 6 months on Thanksgiving day. Unfortunately, this holiday season is probably the roughest time of the year, coupled with seasonal affective disorder.

I was going to recommend a replacement beverage, but it looks like you already have that.

Gatorade really helps me (through weddings, holidays, golfing, watching hockey games, working on projects, camping, fishing, etc). I mix the powder at 2/3 of the suggested amount. I think a little bit of sugar really helps, and Walmart has a big can (says it makes 6 gallons) for like $8.

Hang in there, you are not alone!

Congrats on the edit o.p.   stay strong

I am absolutely, positively not trying to downplay the OP's situation, but if someone can just wake up and say "Eh, I'm doing this too much" and then not touch it for a week, were they really an alcoholic?

ETA: Again I am not downplaying the severity, and I admit I'm completely ignorant on the topic.

Congrats on the six months and excellent suggestion on having sugary items on hand.

It is completely understandable to think these things. I think the OP has qualified himself in regard to the lack of ability to drink like normal people. But, only you can decide for yourself if you are an alcoholic.