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I appreciate all the input so far, aside from getting called a simp. I didn’t go into this thinking it would lead me to where we are now, it all just kind of happened. I’m mid 30’s never married and no kids. She’s divorced from the baby daddy but he is still around a lot. I kinda figured I’d just roll with it and see what happens. No plans to move in together or get married but curious to see where it goes. Mostly looking for stories or similar situations and how it worked out. |
Wait for it Thank you for smoking - Fallacy/3 |
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Dating a mom is tough. You're stuck with the kid, good or bad. Do not deal with child's father, even if she asks you to. The child is between her and the father and can quickly come between her and you. He's not yours, but she'll expect you to treat him as such. Be nice and in time, you'll have a relationship but don't try to force it. |
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Quoted: Let’s say you get really serious and end up marrying her. One day, that kid is going to say, “Fuck you, you’re not my dad.” Are you prepared to hear that and can you refrain from bashing some little shit’s face in? Huh...I heard that yesterday. I was like good your Dads an asshole  |
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Quoted: The one advantage to single moms is that they are like a scratch and dent sale. A guy who could normally only pull a 4 or a 5 could now pull a 6 or a 7 if she comes with a kid. What happens 10 years from now when she's working with the new guy who's a 7, yet she has a 4 at home? Unless you have some really outstanding other qualities, best to stay in your lane. |
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Quoted: She’s divorced from the baby daddy but he is still around a lot. Quoted: She’s divorced from the baby daddy but he is still around a lot. Quoted: they are only recently separated. He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. what |
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Quoted: what Quoted: Quoted: She’s divorced from the baby daddy but he is still around a lot. Quoted: they are only recently separated. He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. what yeah, glad i wasnt the only one who caught that... |
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Are you making a mistake? Not necessarily, but you do have to be careful. Is she a baby mama with a methhead ex, or is she a divorced/widowed woman with common sense and self-respect. I dated a number of single moms and most were good people. If you expect to be the center of her world, then you'll most likely be disappointed. I really would be concerned about a mother who relegated her child to second class. I like kids and I always made time for the children of women I dated. Luckily, none had moody teenagers. |
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Quoted: yeah, glad i wasnt the only one who caught that... Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: She’s divorced from the baby daddy but he is still around a lot. Quoted: they are only recently separated. He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. what yeah, glad i wasnt the only one who caught that... So is this just a lame troll thread? Seems an awfully weird thing to lie about. |
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Quoted: She’s pretty awesome. Sexy, funny, educated, good job, independent. The kid is sweet, 3 year old boy. I’ve spent time with both of them but she’s been lying to the baby daddy about me as they are only recently separated. He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. Baby daddy is also an immature, controlling asshole but makes enough to provide for his bastard child. Missed this the first time around. Eject. In fact, spit in her face and call her a bitch, then eject. |
| Age of the kids is important. If very young, and the old dad isn’t around, you can raise them as your own. Teenagers, most if the time they would like to take a chainsaw to you. If their biodad is cool, responsible, and the kids are well adjusted, it can work at any age. You just become like an uncle in many ways. |
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Quoted: I appreciate all the input so far, aside from getting called a simp. I didn’t go into this thinking it would lead me to where we are now, it all just kind of happened. I’m mid 30’s never married and no kids. You should be at the top of your game. Established and no baggage. |
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Quoted: yeah, glad i wasnt the only one who caught that... I did and went WTF. Dude, you know that for whatever reason she's not responsible with birth control if she's referring to the kid as an accident. So, make sure you wrap it before you tap it, don't believe her when she says she's on the pill, etc. Unless, of course, you'd like a child support order and a few days a month of visitation. |
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I dated a really nice Infectious Disease nurse who was divorced with two great kids. I was a second year fellow and getting ready to get my first real job which was not going to be local. That was a big issue as her divorce decree had shared custody and there was a clause about moving the kids out of state, which would have meant major renegotiations for her and her ex ( he was involved with them so he probably would not have agreed to them moving where I was going). For me, this meant our relationship always stayed friends only, never intimate as I didnt want to risk the drama of getting her kids involved (I liked them, they were great) in something that couldn't work out. |
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Quoted: Missed this the first time around. Eject. In fact, spit in her face and call her a bitch, then eject. Quoted: Quoted: She’s pretty awesome. Sexy, funny, educated, good job, independent. The kid is sweet, 3 year old boy. I’ve spent time with both of them but she’s been lying to the baby daddy about me as they are only recently separated. He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. Baby daddy is also an immature, controlling asshole but makes enough to provide for his bastard child. Missed this the first time around. Eject. In fact, spit in her face and call her a bitch, then eject. Yeah, even though I guess this whole thing is a troll job, this is a huge red flag. She's a liar. She lies to the father of her child. She will lie to OP too. Fuck this chick. |
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Quoted: She’s pretty awesome. Sexy, funny, educated, good job, independent. The kid is sweet, 3 year old boy. I’ve spent time with both of them but she’s been lying to the baby daddy about me as they are only recently separated. He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. Baby daddy is also an immature, controlling asshole but makes enough to provide for his bastard child. Age of the kid works in your favor. Moms have a lot of control. You may have to plumb up the dad at some point, likely soon. Once you piss on dad to establish dominance, he will back off. It will be fine. I took on 3 step kids, 6, 7 & 13. Their Dad was a deadbeat. Plus, I have a daughter of my own. I will say, it’s been non stop drama, but not because of the dad, the kids all have issues. It’s been a challenge, but I’ve raised them as my own, and I take responsibility for them seriously. |
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Man alive.. some of the replies in this thread.. As a single father, it blows my mind to see people group single parents into this one group of unlovable and undeserving people. Shit happens (in my case, my ex went full retard and had an affair), but it doesn't mean that person isn't worth a try. I get it, ARF is full of super models and 10/10 rich people, but in the real world.. well.. Thankfully I met a woman who isn't as closed minded as most people here, and we have been hitting it off well. Has I listened to most people here, I would have never tried dating... 
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I dated three girls with a kid when I was in my early 20s, so not too long ago. One wanted me to meet the kid right away which is a no-no, IMO. You should only start being around the kid once you have an established relationship. The dad was no longer in the kid's life and the chick was trying to get me to hang out with them on the 2nd date. I saw this as a red flag and stopped talking to her. The second one was really cool. She was an awesome girl and a few years older than me. We were together for about 6 months or so. I never met her kid as when I'd go to her place to do the nasty she'd drop the kid off with her mom for the night. Great sex and a really cool girl, but things ended up not working out. Nothing related to the kid, we just weren't super compatible. But we stayed good friends for a while afterwards. I met her kid after we had decided to be friends and I think it was for the best. The third was really hot, but she was kind of a dolt and was only good for sex so it never went much beyond the occasional hookup. She was literally the typical pregnant at 18 type of chick who can't even hold a job as a waitress at the local dive bar. It's really like anything else, it just depends on how you feel about kids. If the girl is trying to get you to be in the kid's life right away then that is a red flag, IMO. Once you establish a serious relationship then meeting the kid is likely a fine idea. Don't be offended if she doesn't want you to meet the kid right away, either. If everyone agrees on taking their time to progress the relationship then I think it's smooth sailing. A lot of people are having kids at younger ages these days, so it shouldn't really be looked at as an issue. |
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Quoted: Yeah, even though I guess this whole thing is a troll job, this is a huge red flag. She's a liar. She lies to the father of her child. She will lie to OP too. Fuck this chick. Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: She’s pretty awesome. Sexy, funny, educated, good job, independent. The kid is sweet, 3 year old boy. I’ve spent time with both of them but she’s been lying to the baby daddy about me as they are only recently separated. He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. Baby daddy is also an immature, controlling asshole but makes enough to provide for his bastard child. Missed this the first time around. Eject. In fact, spit in her face and call her a bitch, then eject. Yeah, even though I guess this whole thing is a troll job, this is a huge red flag. She's a liar. She lies to the father of her child. She will lie to OP too. Fuck this chick. Even if this wasn’t trolling...lying to him = lying to you |
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Quoted: Age of the kid works in your favor. Moms have a lot of control. You may have to plumb up the dad at some point, likely soon. Once you piss on dad to establish dominance, he will back off. It will be fine. I took on 3 step kids, 6, 7 & 13. Their Dad was a deadbeat. Plus, I have a daughter of my own. I will say, it's been non stop drama, but not because of the dad, the kids all have issues. It's been a challenge, but I've raised them as my own, and I take responsibility for them seriously. I find it amusing that every woman is a whore in GD divorce threads, and in single mom threads the kid's father is referred to "baby daddy", an asshole for being involved in his children's life (which usually means holding the ex-wife accountable to the divorce decree). Now we should "plumb up" the kid's real father. I love you GD. 
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Quoted: I appreciate all the input so far, aside from getting called a simp. I didn’t go into this thinking it would lead me to where we are now, it all just kind of happened. I’m mid 30’s never married and no kids. She’s divorced from the baby daddy but he is still around a lot. I kinda figured I’d just roll with it and see what happens. No plans to move in together or get married but curious to see where it goes. Mostly looking for stories or similar situations and how it worked out. A page back you said.... .....He never put a ring on it, they just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend after the accidental pregnancy. Baby daddy is also an immature, controlling asshole but makes enough to provide for his bastard child. |
| Mine worked out. Have a daughter that I adopted and she loves me like she was my own blood. The biological father appeared once and asked to see her when she was 5 years old. Haven't seen nor heard from him after that brief meeting he and her had with her mother present. Don't worry about what other people/idiots say. They don't know you or your girlfriend and are totally clueless because the only head that they use in general is the little one that has no brain. The only thing to remember, their child is their blood and you are not. So, don't expect to be #1 in the relationship, which is as it should be. If the roles were reversed would you put your girlfriend over your blood child that lives with you depends on you? |
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You need some basic instruction. Happy to help. No problem. Dating a single mom puts you on the road to Cuckdom. No thank you. Do not go there. You are looking for a quality woman? Don't look there. A never ending series of bad life choices is all you will find. Run.. Don't walk. 1st Lesson HERE: https://www.premiumtom.com/library/tom-talks/2019-11-24 Single Mothers Submitted by [email protected] on Sun, 11/24/2019 - 20:18 Leykis 101 - Don't date single mothers!!! Thank you professor. 32 and no kids, never married, no divorce attorney, no child support. Good Life, No Wife, No Kidz!!! I am proud to say I have never dated a single mom. HERE:https://www.premiumtom.com/library/tom-talks/2019-11-24 GENTS, Once upon a time a man asked a beautiful woman, Will you marry me? The woman said NO. And the Man lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER. AND rode motorcycles, AND raced cars AND traveled the world AND went to bars AND progressed his job AND dated women half his age AND drank malt whiskey AND craft beer, AND never heard moaning or complaints in his own castle AND went to rock concerts AND kept his house AND his friends AND his favorite jeans and NEVER got cheated on while working AND had TONS of $$$ cash & zero DEBT AND left the toilet seat up. THE END Oh, and one more thing. Woman get College degrees more than men. Both undergrad and grad. Woman in the professional world make as much if not more than men in my experience and I did well. There is a shortage of men, not woman. Let me qualify that. Eligible, employed, no illegal drugs, no felony record respectable men. WE are the shortage, NOT THEM. NEVER pay for a first date. She is not a virgin. Her father is not giving you a dowry. Those days are long over. The reality is their BEHAVIOR and life choices are WORSE than men have ever been. HERE: https://www.premiumtom.com/library/leykis-101/2019-11-14 WHY MEN SHOULDN'T EVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE .. |
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My ex was a widow, probably made it a lot easier for me. Raised her two kids for 7 years, and am definitely treated as "dad" by one of them even a decade later. I wouldn't say run, but I would say raising kids was far more work than I ever imagined and I've never repeat it. Others might be better at it that I. I'd also say that the woman better be bringing a LOT to the table since you're permanently going to be a #2 priority. |
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Quoted: I find it amusing that every woman is a whore in GD divorce threads, and in single mom threads the kid's father is referred to "baby daddy", an asshole for being involved in his children's life (which usually means holding the ex-wife accountable to the divorce decree). Now we should "plumb up" the kid's real father. I love you GD. Quoted: Quoted: Age of the kid works in your favor. Moms have a lot of control. You may have to plumb up the dad at some point, likely soon. Once you piss on dad to establish dominance, he will back off. It will be fine. I took on 3 step kids, 6, 7 & 13. Their Dad was a deadbeat. Plus, I have a daughter of my own. I will say, it's been non stop drama, but not because of the dad, the kids all have issues. It's been a challenge, but I've raised them as my own, and I take responsibility for them seriously. I find it amusing that every woman is a whore in GD divorce threads, and in single mom threads the kid's father is referred to "baby daddy", an asshole for being involved in his children's life (which usually means holding the ex-wife accountable to the divorce decree). Now we should "plumb up" the kid's real father. I love you GD. I’m just going by what the OP said. I had to plumb up my wife’s ex, he was, and is, a true piece of shit. But.. OP doesn’t know if his girlfriend was married or not. So who knows, he could be Bill Cosby. |
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Quoted: Man alive.. some of the replies in this thread.. As a single father, it blows my mind to see people group single parents into this one group of unlovable and undeserving people. Shit happens (in my case, my ex went full retard and had an affair), but it doesn't mean that person isn't worth a try. I get it, ARF is full of super models and 10/10 rich people, but in the real world.. well.. Thankfully I met a woman who isn't as closed minded as most people here, and we have been hitting it off well. Has I listened to most people here, I would have never tried dating... Once you stop expecting common human decency or even so much as a drop of empathy from the mob here, this place really isn't all that bad. |
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I married a woman with two kids. They were three and four at the time. The dad is a non factor and they think of me as dad. I’m sitting here looking at my (step) son right now a day before he leaves for the Navy. I could not be happier. My only advice is you kinda have to ease into a parental roll. I learned that the hard way but it has worked out just fine for me. |
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Quoted: The one advantage to single moms is that they are like a scratch and dent sale. A guy who could normally only pull a 4 or a 5 could now pull a 6 or a 7 if she comes with a kid. A 6 or a 7 with a kid is actually a 3 or a 4 when you do the math. |
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Quoted: Other than “don’t” is there any advice that you would offer? How do you deal with the baby daddy? Am I making a mistake? My advice: (other than don't) 1. Just have sex with her 2. Date other women at the same time. 3. Do not live with her 4. Do not have a serious relationship with her 5. Do not spend any time at all at her place. That way you will avoid the baby daddy and his spawn. 6. Only keep her in your rotation for three months or so, then drop her. |
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Quoted: My advice: (other than don't) 1. Just have sex with her 2. Date other women at the same time. 3. Do not live with her 4. Do not have a serious relationship with her 5. Do not spend any time at all at her place. That way you will avoid the baby daddy and his spawn. 6. Only keep her in your rotation for three months or so, then drop her. Ya know you’re one of my favorite people on arf but I gotta disagree with you on this one. My wife came with two kids when I met her. It hasn’t always been easy but taking that chance was the best thing that has ever happened to me. |
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Quoted: Dude- from experience, THINK LONG AND HARD before you move forward. Don’t shrug off the warnings and opinions of those who’ve done it. Including me. We met when her son was 3 also. We’ve been married 22 years and have two together, BUT: Her first kid WILL ALWAYS BE # ONE in her life. You will never be allowed to be that kid’s dad but you will he expected to act like it. Her baby daddy WILL ALWAYS be in your daily life. Forever. No matter how big an A-hole baby daddy is, you are always going to just be step-dad. You will have to deal with all of the drama that comes with ex and child in common. Forever. I love my wife, but I would not choose this life again. Bingo! Sounds familiar to me. |
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