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Crazy

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Attention, group members: Testicles. That is all.

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Ich is an investment expert, too?

https://i.imgur.com/sh4OLnZ.png

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I don't wanna be at work today.

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Could y’all just tell me a stock or 2 to buy that would make me rich quick.  Is it really that difficult?  Please and thank you

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You guys sure can get from state to state rather quickly back east

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You guys sure can get from state to state rather quickly back east

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If you guys haven’t been following the GameStop Stock Shit-Show, you really need to look into it.  This is fucking hilarious.

Allow me to catch you up.

So this hedge fund called Melvin Capital wrote out some douchey article about how the smart investment move would be to short-sell GameStop stock. To put it simply, short-selling is essentially gambling that a stock’s price will drop.  If it does, you make money.  If it doesn’t, you end up paying out money for however much it goes up.

Well, this little article that Melvin wrote pissed off a dark, dank corner of the internet called Wall Street Bets.  WSB is a hive of Ritalin-addled lunatics who treat the stock market like a fucking casino.  These dudes will regularly gamble their life-savings on a single trade.  It’s a glorious thing to watch.

The WSB crew has a weird fascination with certain stocks.  They call them “meme stocks.”  Tesla is one, AMD is another, and GameStop, arguably, is the most weirdly beloved meme stock.  So for reasons that make sense only to the degenerates on WSB, Melvin trying to short-sell their meme was a declaration of war.

Yes, this is dumb.  But it gets so fucking hilarious.

WSB decided to do a “short squeeze.”  This is when you see people trying to short a stock, so you buy up that stock, and you get a bunch of other people to buy up that stock.  With each purchase the price actually goes up.  Since Melvin was trying to short the stock at a price of $20 per share, WSB wanted to get it as high above that price as humanly possible.

They got it up to $200 per share.

This means Melvin has to cover over $180 per share they bought.  This came out to billions.  Fucking.  Billions.

Melvin Capital, over night, was suddenly facing bankruptcy.  Think about that.  A bunch of self-identified degenerates on a fucking website were able to tank a fucking hedge fund.  That’s hilarious.

Well, the rich and powerful don’t like seeing us plebeians fucking with one of their own.  So Point72, another hedge fund, teamed up with a few other little funds, and they injected around THREE BILLION into Melvin Capital to keep them from spiraling.  Essentially this meant the billionaire hedge fund crew were banding together to fight back against Wall Street Bets.  And WSB just said “okay, no problem.”

Today the stock for GameStop is at $320 per share.

Melvin Capital lost all of that three billion they were given.  It’s gone.  They’re still fucked.  Point72 gave a little over a billion of that injection, and that means that fund dropped from 17 billion to 16 billion.  That means in less than 24 hours WSB managed to all but ensure one hedge fund will die and drop the value of another by 6% so far.

And remember, WSB are just a bunch of jackasses on the internet.  They aren’t hedge fund guys, they aren’t millionaires or billionaires.  This is literally being done by morons with a phone app coordinating to ruin billionaires’ lives because they can.

What we’re watching here with GameStop stocks is a bunch of rich people who are getting fucking wrecked, purely for entertainment, by the kind of middle-class and poor people they regularly lobby against and treat like this.  This “eat the rich” via phone app.  It’s “damn the man” with a meme-stock.  

It’s fucking beautiful.

And because whoever is writing our reality lost all sense of subtlety after 2020, the icing on the cake is that the app the WSB crew are using to pull this off is a stock-trading app called Robin Hood.  Yeah, as in steal from the rich and all that jazz.

Goddammit, I truly love living in the future.

-I copy and pasted this btw. -

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You're not Arab.

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Spicy
https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/259822/1_JPG-1800564.JPG

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You guys sure can get from state to state rather quickly back east

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He's 56, divorced, and is about as up on tech as the amish.

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My last jerb before escaping was pumping gas on the turnpike.

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If you guys haven’t been following the GameStop Stock Shit-Show, you really need to look into it.  This is fucking hilarious.

Allow me to catch you up.

So this hedge fund called Melvin Capital wrote out some douchey article about how the smart investment move would be to short-sell GameStop stock. To put it simply, short-selling is essentially gambling that a stock’s price will drop.  If it does, you make money.  If it doesn’t, you end up paying out money for however much it goes up.

Well, this little article that Melvin wrote pissed off a dark, dank corner of the internet called Wall Street Bets.  WSB is a hive of Ritalin-addled lunatics who treat the stock market like a fucking casino.  These dudes will regularly gamble their life-savings on a single trade.  It’s a glorious thing to watch.

The WSB crew has a weird fascination with certain stocks.  They call them “meme stocks.”  Tesla is one, AMD is another, and GameStop, arguably, is the most weirdly beloved meme stock.  So for reasons that make sense only to the degenerates on WSB, Melvin trying to short-sell their meme was a declaration of war.

Yes, this is dumb.  But it gets so fucking hilarious.

WSB decided to do a “short squeeze.”  This is when you see people trying to short a stock, so you buy up that stock, and you get a bunch of other people to buy up that stock.  With each purchase the price actually goes up.  Since Melvin was trying to short the stock at a price of $20 per share, WSB wanted to get it as high above that price as humanly possible.

They got it up to $200 per share.

This means Melvin has to cover over $180 per share they bought.  This came out to billions.  Fucking.  Billions.

Melvin Capital, over night, was suddenly facing bankruptcy.  Think about that.  A bunch of self-identified degenerates on a fucking website were able to tank a fucking hedge fund.  That’s hilarious.

Well, the rich and powerful don’t like seeing us plebeians fucking with one of their own.  So Point72, another hedge fund, teamed up with a few other little funds, and they injected around THREE BILLION into Melvin Capital to keep them from spiraling.  Essentially this meant the billionaire hedge fund crew were banding together to fight back against Wall Street Bets.  And WSB just said “okay, no problem.”

Today the stock for GameStop is at $320 per share.

Melvin Capital lost all of that three billion they were given.  It’s gone.  They’re still fucked.  Point72 gave a little over a billion of that injection, and that means that fund dropped from 17 billion to 16 billion.  That means in less than 24 hours WSB managed to all but ensure one hedge fund will die and drop the value of another by 6% so far.

And remember, WSB are just a bunch of jackasses on the internet.  They aren’t hedge fund guys, they aren’t millionaires or billionaires.  This is literally being done by morons with a phone app coordinating to ruin billionaires’ lives because they can.

What we’re watching here with GameStop stocks is a bunch of rich people who are getting fucking wrecked, purely for entertainment, by the kind of middle-class and poor people they regularly lobby against and treat like this.  This “eat the rich” via phone app.  It’s “damn the man” with a meme-stock.  

It’s fucking beautiful.

And because whoever is writing our reality lost all sense of subtlety after 2020, the icing on the cake is that the app the WSB crew are using to pull this off is a stock-trading app called Robin Hood.  Yeah, as in steal from the rich and all that jazz.

Goddammit, I truly love living in the future.

-I copy and pasted this btw. -

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Bye!

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Morning all.

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Cops, Social worker, and school are all fully involved now.