A lot of work.

Work from both parties..if one person fails...

Damn straight.

I can give you a caricature/stereotype example using my own life.  Pretty classic example of the traditional get married at about college graduation age.

I knew my wife was going to get older, but I want my fun, exciting, nice, enjoy going to see die hard with me at the movies, does some of my hobbies with me, wants as much sex, etc.  woman I dated, courted, married, and built a life and family with.  At 50, she  is very, very different than she was at 40, let alone 30, etc.  Physicslly as the years went by and the kids came, I still saw her as my hot little young wife,  But the behavior and personality changes that rack up over the past few years have me wanting to run like a stray dog that just took a shit of rock salt.  Seriously.  Everyone blames the mid life crisis reset on the man wanting a young, pretty woman again.  That may have some truth, but for me and lots of other guys I know, your eyes/brain do some reset and you can desire your older wife like her body was half its age.  But the whole they are acting like a totally different person is harsh.

When we met I was coming towards the end of a first enlistment in Ranger Bn, working on a 69 GTO, Driving  a fairly new Z28,  riding a beat up R80 GS, having some cool guns, liking certain types of movies, books, etc.  she found me desireable and exciting despite being all but broke and completely uneducated except a HS diploma.  She had just finshished college.  Told the only going to change about me was I was going to be a lot more educated and make a lot more money.  And I wanted big dogs again once I had my own house.  Twenty five years later I was driving a modern Z28 type car, still had old muscle cars, have a lot more cool guns, had eight years of higher education, was making a lot more money and was retiring from a different special operarions unit, taking a very high paying job, etc.

I say something like, I should get a motorcycle again- “why in God’s name do you want a motorcycle?”
I come back from a trip to town “ I can’t believe you bought another gun”
“Good god, why don’t you get a girlfriend or something, I can’t believe you want sex everyday”
“Why do you like those stupid old cars”
“Lethal Weapon 8.5?  Die Hard 9?  No, I don’t want to go to your stupid movie with you.”
“Why are you trying to get a pnother big dog? Can’t you be happy with the little dog the kids have?”

Jesus H. Monkey F-ing ball headed Christ.  Do you know how confusing that is to a guy?  I am exactly the same guy doing the same stuff as the guy she fell in love in.  Only with the added benefit of a respected, educated profession and a ton of money.  And, while I am a hot 21 year old anymore, I have not gone gray or bald and people think I am like fifteen years younger.  What was I supposed to change into?  I think she loathes me.  I would worry about her leaving me, as has been noted the typical 50 year divorced woman has no idea of their lack of SMV.  But, then again, I am pretty sure I have 100% turned her off from men so I am good to go.

I can’t wrap my head around it.  What is so godamn baffling to a woman that if a guy likes cool cars or motorcycles, he turns out continuing to do So?
How is it s surprise if s guy that likes and buys guns for decades, should, somehow, end up liking and buying another gun?  Why is that such a F ing surprise?

The whole women change/men don’t cliche is some I have heard for ages.

It’s almost like nature and biology have set us up for this plan.

Woman gets to age they can no longer have kids.  They become, typically, less sexually attractive.  If that does not do the trick, they are programmed to become diametrically opposed behaviorally to the woman you fell in love in.  They get meaner and bitchier.
The guy, probably looking younger and maybe in decent shape for his age, is still in silverback mode.  He may be at peak financial/social status and frankly well suited to snag a second fertile female for another family.

Anyways, I am right at that age, and with a circle of fairly accomplished guys I know, that are experiencing the same thing.  Sometimes it happens even a little earlier.  One couple about ten years younger, her husband a former Ranger Bn guy and operator, and bam-
One day it was get rid of the motorcycle, retire, get a safe Job pressure, etc.  I could give another dozen examples.

Still together I guess?

Yep.

She would probably ask for a divorce but I think she likes having a chance at all my money instead of just half of it.

Maybe these changes in women are just a way to knock out purgatory before you kick the bucket.

It's certainly not a given that a successful marriage has to be a lot of work.

Plenty of them click along just fine and it's the easiest thing in the world.

we know who is putting in the work in that relationship

Pookie, being married to you wouldn’t take a lot of work, just a high pain threshold.

No you don't. You just think you do because you don't know how to read between the lines.

His pain or your pain it makes a difference....you both can't swing the paddle

Poetry right there^^^

There is too much joy in the reciprocal pain I cause her just being me to consider divorce.

Why would I give her such a blessing?

Wife hasn’t killed me in my sleep yet, so that’s a win for me. As for disappointing her? I plan on doing that tomorrow morning (sneak attack, don’t tell).

His or yours?

In my estimation this is where it all falls apart. Everybody wants to be married til its time to do marriage shit.

She family so nope.  Do what you gotta do

It must be really frustrating.  Watching the expiration date on your sexual wares inexorably approaching and no buyers are in the offing.

That’s a long list for a hard 6 with baggage.

I feel you, brother.

All men live the same lives, but in different houses.

Oh, she has some buyers.

But they're just buying her vagina.

Honestly? This. The first two or three years of our marriage were "hard" (and I'll admit to winning the lotto on this one - and so would she - given what we both know now about picking a life partner at a very young age), but today? There is honestly zero "work" involved. She's awesome, and she says the same about me. Ain't no thang.

More like renting at this stage of her life.  Nobody will every buy that...but they might rent it, about like you rent an airport rental car.

It's the overall delusion of modern feminism...that you can go get your PHD, make 10 million bucks, have the career...and then, after all that, a perfect man will just show up and be totally impressed at the PHD, career, and money...and you can right then have babies and hire nannies so you can go right back to your awesome career that won't be impacted at all by your marriage and family.  If there is an impact, the hubby should take the hit too...equality and all.

That's the lie...and it is a tasty one.

They love to pretend that that fork in the road, at about age 23...isn't actualy a fork.  It is.

You know, guys, I kinda like the thrust and parry here in GD, swapping bons mots with y’all.  But you have to give me something to work with.  I can’t do much with feigned stupidity.

She just wants to fuck certain guys and mooch over other guys

A couple of guys will play her and string her along until she gets plowed and then discarded

Enjoy these final days

My wife is far superior looking to that chick, and I'm 5'8"!

It likely did not start with her willing to accept someone who only ticked half the boxes. She likely set out looking for 100% and no less.

You are a silver-tongued temptress who tells us to go to Hell in a way that makes us look forward to the trip.

Feel sorry for the kid... gonna be a rough ride.

^ If your relationship feels like running with the bulls then there's a problem. Maybe it's a power struggle or any number of things. But it's time to take it down to the foundation and figure out what needs to be corrected before it blows up on you.

I think most people drastically under estimate the importance of hormone levels. After 30 - 40 your hormone levels start to crash. People have an idea of "who" they are, but that's not accurate. You are who your hormones say you are. Turn your hormone levels upside down for long enough and I promise you that you aren't the same person you were before. That's just not how it works.

People have the money to spend on $50k  cars, $600k houses, and all manner of extravagant spending but they spend almost nothing on ongoing testing and optimizing their hormone levels as they age. Quite possibly one of the most important things you can do and most people ignore it. If I asked one hundred people in this thread for an estimation of where their hormone levels are currently on an array of ten basic hormones how many could answer accurately? Maybe 5% - 10%?

So there's a large part of the problem you are seeing. It's not the only big issue, but it's a big one.

As undesirable as this woman is, I bet she’d turn down the marjoity of Arfcommers for a date.

"Vacation Vagina".  VV for short.

Something you acquire while on vacation so you can put some miles on it going to some strange place.  Sure it costs a bit for the short time you have it, but it's a rental so you can just drop it off and forget about it afterwards.  Only since it's old, the damage policy insurance is cheap as fuck so compared to the stuff you have to take care of at home, it's worth every penny.

VaykayVag.

Reflexive denial is very useful in protecting one’s preconceived notions.

Sounds like my EX with her two previous boyfriends.

They got what they wanted, and left within a month or two.

Awkward when you are renting and she thinks its a lease with an option to buy.

If you own anything of value and lock up a woman you only have yourself to blame when her vagina dries up and she begins the incessant whining. Do not be surprised when she decides it’s over

In a way.. its sad, in a way.. its not.

I don’t Think there  is a problem with my hormones.

I still want sex everyday.

Sure, maybe I just want to go to sleep after instead of doing it repeatedly for hours, but I don’t feel like running ten or twelve miles at a time anymore either.

HRT has its limits.  The big prostate contraindicates the test, the HGH is expensive, not covered, etc.  the desire to crush the weights is there, but even with hormones the rotator cuff says no, of the DJD, DDD says he’ll now, etc.

How dare you... my stupidity is not feigned.

As someone who's parents both achieved excellence in their field, equally. The wamon not getting what they want career wise because their wamon is foreign to me.

Like, they know they can just do what they want right? Nothing stopping them.

Also they can do this without being cunts to their children or spouses.

The majority of arfcommers are undateable. Just because a woman or man sucks doesn’t mean she or he should date other sucky people. The smart thing would be to not date.

That’s not “awkward” that’s dishonest.

The majority of Arfcommers do not meet her criteria. thats what the thread is about.

Holy shit dood.

If it's as bad as you say, GTFO, now.  Live a GREAT life without her.

CMOS

Ok how about hers?

You ignore my reply to you in the Benevolent Sexist thread, and then horn in uninvited on my conversation with others here.

Some of you fuckers are seriously deficient in the social graces.