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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:43:44 PM EDT
[#1]
If she's loaded, I could live with it. But Im hiring hookers.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:45:21 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Agreed - but that is the minority. Majority of those overweight to obese consume massive amounts of shit food and drink and live a lazy, sedimentary lifestyle. You can't cry about hormones and thyroids etc when you inhale two big macs, XL fries, three XL sodas, and wash it down with a bag of potato chips. Your body (save for extreme circumstances) cannot make something out of nothing. Put in shit + shit activity level = look like shit. Fix the diet alone and most of the weight falls off. Add just moderate exercise and there ya go. It's the motivation and self control most people lack, not a medical condition. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: Calorie restriction in the presence of hormonal dysregulation backfires. It's relatively easy to lose weight when your hormones are functioning properly but it's nearly impossible to do so when they aren't. It's the motivation and self control most people lack, not a medical condition. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:46:49 PM EDT
[#3]
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Nutrition. Yes Starbucks "coffees"-no Fast food- no Sugar snacks- no. Our country is turning into a fat slob and people are making excuses and justifications for it. It's disgusting. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
First we are talking about a person you have committed your life to be with and most likely the mother of your children. Yes eating less is what is needed but in order to thrive a woman needs more than nutrition. We need acceptance, security, identity and purpose and often outside of eating have little ability to meet their needs. The fact is staying committed to a healthy diet takes a lot of willpower and persistence then needs nurturing and support. It's important to look at your marriage as a team. A good team doesn't look at what the other members lack but for ways they can assist. As long as you are committed to placing blame and feeling injured by your wife's obesity you will perpetuate the problem. Starbucks "coffees"-no Fast food- no Sugar snacks- no. Our country is turning into a fat slob and people are making excuses and justifications for it. It's disgusting. Ideally my husband would take an active part in my weight loss. He would encourage me and reward me for my success. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:50:46 PM EDT
[#4]
I am a big triathlon guy.
When we first started dated my ex-gf started working out with me and working out more as she wanted to be in shape and spend time with me By the end I was making her feel guilty for not being in shape just by me working out and started the whole positive body image fat shaming mess. I never once mentioned anything negative to her. She slipped into lib/divorced friend madness. Now she lives with her recently divorced friend and last I saw her on facebook she looked like she was going to explode out of a bridesmaid dress. Shes probably 5'7'' and I would bet 150-160 pounds now. to me like many other posts - its about maintaining a heathly lifestyle and respecting your partner. has to be mutual I tried to save that relationship too long and even stopped working out due to frustration. Back at is and back to where I pretty much want to be. Ironman '18! |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:51:02 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Reading Naamah's post about her husband, who went through ups and downs and gaining lots of weight, drinking too much (etc) and what I read in her post is such love for her husband. She loves HIM as a person. I'm not getting that same vibe from some of the guys here. They talk about the wife (probably a wife they don't yet have) as an employee or a 'product' that is defective and not living up to the hype and they just want a refund because the bitch got fat. I'm not saying that it would be okay to sit by passively and watch someone destroy their health and say nothing about it. But the support and love that Naamah and you talk about, it just ain't there. (Not with all the posts here, some guys talk about a plan and seem to have compassion, but others just ooze resentment. Oh yeah, I'm sure most women would just blossom under that environment!  )Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
A good team doesn't look at what the other members lack but for ways they can assist. As long as you are committed to placing blame and feeling injured by your wife's obesity you will perpetuate the problem. I'm not getting that same vibe from some of the guys here. They talk about the wife (probably a wife they don't yet have) as an employee or a 'product' that is defective and not living up to the hype and they just want a refund because the bitch got fat. I'm not saying that it would be okay to sit by passively and watch someone destroy their health and say nothing about it. But the support and love that Naamah and you talk about, it just ain't there. (Not with all the posts here, some guys talk about a plan and seem to have compassion, but others just ooze resentment. Oh yeah, I'm sure most women would just blossom under that environment! ) |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 3:57:32 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes what you have listed above is the addiction of food. But food is more than calories in-calories out. Food is social and it's addictive. If your wife is suffering from this addiction she needs help and your compassion. I personally put on 40 pounds over the course of a two year illness. It's hard as hell to lose this weight. I have multiple issues (like most women 25# and more do). I am proactive (most women are not) and I asked my husband for his support. My husband is a junk food junky. He eats chips and candies all the time (but blessed with a great metabolism) I have to resolve not to join him and he has had to learn not to offer them to me. (He still does). I asked him to ask me daily how I am doing and praise my milestones-once in the 6 weeks I've been dieting he's asked me how I'm doing and he has never praised my success. I got a pedicure when I lost 20# and I had to defend my purchase. I only bring this up to show how men can contribute to a woman's demise. Ideally my husband would take an active part in my weight loss. He would encourage me and reward me for my success. It took me a lot longer than necessary to get her to see the big picture and that I wasn’t just being an ass. I was scared she’d be dead by 45. She fought for herself and for us, she worked her ass off for 2 straight years to lose the weight, but most of all become healthy. Diet, mental, emotionally. She’d set goals, and we’d celebrate them together. I coached her along the entire way. Side by side. Eat what she ate, exercised, etc. Wish you all the success, and hope you can press through the hard days. ETA: since my wife got so healthy. She’s had 2 very different reactions 1) I’m starving her and forcing her to workout(her fat ass sister being one of them). I don’t really give 2 shits, I want my wife alive as long as possible. 2) my now ex sil stopped talking to my wife and called her “a skinny bitch”. Just so happened to be the timeframe she divorced my brother then settled down with a new dude. Then blew up in weight. More weight than she ever was even pregnant. My wife now helps her friends get in a better track, she’s been supporting and encouraging a close friend of hers who now runs half marathons and spartan races with my wife. She’s lost 20-30# herself and is much happier. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:00:33 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I'm close to 100% sure Beyonce and Jessica Alba are both over 160lbs. I understand some people put on weight differently. My wife is about 5'4" and 155lbs. Played soccer her whole life. Scores over a 300 on the Army's PT test, can out work damn near all you, and crush a watermelon with her legs. She probably was 135lbs when we met. When we met in HS I was 150lbs lean, got married I was an Army 180lbs, after retirement and disability I'm 215lbs and 30" wide shoulder to shoulder. I can't keep her off of me
You gotta give a women a reason to physically be on top of her shit. Shes not there to shit out your kids, clean your dirty underwear, take care of your 5 little assholes and have dinner on the table when you get home. And then look like a million dollars for your below ave ass. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:08:24 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife fights with lupus, thyroid, arthritis and bad parental lessons. It took me a lot longer than necessary to get her to see the big picture and that I wasn't just being an ass. I was scared she'd be dead by 45. She fought for herself and for us, she worked her ass off for 2 straight years to lose the weight, but most of all become healthy. Diet, mental, emotionally. She'd set goals, and we'd celebrate them together. I coached her along the entire way. Side by side. Eat what she ate, exercised, etc. Wish you all the success, and hope you can press through the hard days.  and that's what women need. It's hard. I've been thin my whole life and I've been an athlete my entire life but menopause, arthritis and thyroid coupled with a husband who loves junk food I found myself needing to lose 40 pounds. Most women do not have my background of exercise and resolve. They need love, support and compassion.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:09:40 PM EDT
[#9]
You can call me a soyboy if you want OP, but my femininity, or lack thereof has nothing to do with the vows I made.
So, since I didn't read the thread, can anyone summarize? Would reading it destroy my faith in humanity, or bolster it? |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:14:03 PM EDT
[#10]
I voted option 3 and I lift more than OP.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:15:02 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: My wife fights with lupus, thyroid, arthritis and bad parental lessons. snip eta: I'm thinking of giving it a shot at beating it just by diet. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:16:28 PM EDT
[#12]
This is a really stupid, immature topic. The poll has stupid choices as well. Here's my Poll.
Why would you divorce your spouse just because of weight gain? Because you're: 1. Stupid 2. A moron 3. Extremely Immature 4. A Democrat 5. An Adolescent who isn't even old enough to get married anyway; Synonymous with #3. 6. Psychopathic or Sociopathic 7. Extremely Narcissistic |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:17:11 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You can call me a soyboy if you want OP, but my femininity, or lack thereof has nothing to do with the vows I made. So, since I didn't read the thread, can anyone summarize? Would reading it destroy my faith in humanity, or bolster it? If that causes you to question my manhood, that's your issue. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:19:40 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I was diagnosed recently with lupus. Sucks. I just took myself off my meds because I feel like they're killing me. Arthritis in your hands and feet makes it tough to do the simplest tasks. eta: I'm thinking of giving it a shot at beating it just by diet. Her arthritis has been a lot better recently too. Run any changes by your doc, and hopefully you find the right combo to minimize any lifestyle effects
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:22:51 PM EDT
[#15]
The white knighting induced vitriol in response to this topic is hilarious.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:25:20 PM EDT
[#16]
My wife started to Blimp out. I didn't say anything!!!
I just had her take a picture of herself in a bikini and she did the rest!! Things are now back to normal. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:27:25 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I was diagnosed recently with lupus. Sucks. I just took myself off my meds because I feel like they're killing me. Arthritis in your hands and feet makes it tough to do the simplest tasks. eta: I'm thinking of giving it a shot at beating it just by diet. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: My wife fights with lupus, thyroid, arthritis and bad parental lessons. snip eta: I'm thinking of giving it a shot at beating it just by diet. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:32:46 PM EDT
[#18]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You can call me a soyboy if you want OP, but my femininity, or lack thereof has nothing to do with the vows I made. So, since I didn't read the thread, can anyone summarize? Would reading it destroy my faith in humanity, or bolster it? |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:35:06 PM EDT
[#19]
My wife is in better shape now than when we married 15 years ago even after a pregnancy. She is at the same weight as when we married but has more muscle in her thighs and rear end. She eats very well and hikes/ walks often. Makes for a hot little mama. She works to look good for me.
I've gained weight, but I don't think she expected me to stay at 145 lbs forever. I was a twig back then when we met. I gained up to 205-210 and was fat. I dieted down to 165 a few years back, then started working out. I'm 179 now, and look thin and fit. Kinda ashamed about it. My health is much better now then when I was way overweight. But I'm just vain enough to wish that I was stronger looking. Getting there slowly again working towards Tan and Jacked to look good for my wife. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:44:53 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Calorie restriction in the presence of hormonal dysregulation backfires. It's relatively easy to lose weight when your hormones are functioning properly but it's nearly impossible to do so when they aren't. Hormone imbalances, conditions, bad knees, lack of time to exercise, none of these excuses cause you to absorb excess kcals from the air. They all enter your body the same way. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:46:25 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
First we are talking about a person you have committed your life to be with and most likely the mother of your children. Yes eating less is what is needed but in order to thrive a woman needs more than nutrition. We need acceptance, security, identity and purpose and often outside of eating have little ability to meet their needs. The fact is staying committed to a healthy diet takes a lot of willpower and persistence then needs nurturing and support. It's important to look at your marriage as a team. A good team doesn't look at what the other members lack but for ways they can assist. As long as you are committed to placing blame and feeling injured by your wife's obesity you will perpetuate the problem. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I would recommend compassion but make a plan. I have some experience with this because I counsel over weight women regularly. Women who are more than 25# over weight suffer from multiple issues. Most often depression, over active adrenals, under active thyroid as well as insulin resistance and estrogen resistance. It is very difficult for obese women to lose weight particularly if she is big busted, works and has small children. She needs your support and compassion and she professional help from several care providers. My wife also has incredible self control and understands calories out vs calories in. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:49:41 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Yes what you have listed above is the addiction of food. But food is more than calories in-calories out. Food is social and it's addictive.. Eat less. Drink less. Smoke less. addiction recovery and treatment is 99.999% will power. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:51:25 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Food is addictive. I am a food addict. I am also height/weight proportional and a healthy weight bmi. Eat less. Drink less. Smoke less. addiction recovery and treatment is 99.999% will power. #stopbeingweak |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:52:31 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think when someone refuses to get treatment, when they refuse to set goals or timelines, when they refuse to consider your feelings on the matter; it's pretty much over. They DGAF about you anymore. You can stay like a cuck or head out on your own. If you want to go the extra mile you could set a time limit say a year or two, to give them a chance to come around. But odds are it will just turn out to be wasted time at the end of it. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:53:31 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
maybe you could be as successful as this woman Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: My wife fights with lupus, thyroid, arthritis and bad parental lessons. snip eta: I'm thinking of giving it a shot at beating it just by diet. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:57:25 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Food is addictive. I am a food addict. I am also height/weight proportional and a healthy weight bmi. Eat less. Drink less. Smoke less. addiction recovery and treatment is 99.999% will power. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 4:58:00 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
That is some real fucked up fuckery there.  Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: IMHO it's part of the "love, respect, be faithful" to the other person part of the gig. If you get overweight to the point of being unhealthy, it is disrespectful to the other person. If you let yourself get to the point of looking like shit, it is terribly disrespectful. To me, being sloppy/lazy/overweight is another form of being unfaithful and I was very clear about it to anyone I dated seriously. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:05:47 PM EDT
[#28]
People these days have no morals. Whatever happened to taking care of your fat wife while banging hookers on the side like the good old days?
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:07:28 PM EDT
[#29]
As long as it will take to grow your hair back!!!!
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:09:40 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
People these days have no morals. Whatever happened to taking care of your fat wife while banging hookers on the side like the good old days? 
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:11:27 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I don't think it's the minority, necessarily. Diet is HUGE for preventing and fixing hormonal dysregulation but the standard diet advice (low calorie/low fat/heavy on the whole grains) is exactly what causes the dysregulation in the first place. So it isn't just that a minority of people got crap luck with their hormones----their way of eating is causing the problem in the first place which makes it pretty prevalent. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted: Calorie restriction in the presence of hormonal dysregulation backfires. It's relatively easy to lose weight when your hormones are functioning properly but it's nearly impossible to do so when they aren't. It's the motivation and self control most people lack, not a medical condition. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:20:25 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:Women's bodies are designed to get fat. Our world is full of foods that accelerate this process and is enjoyable along the way.. Women's bodies are designed to gain a small amount of weight during pregnancy (10-15% intake increase - they are eating for 1.1, not 2) to support the fetus, and then burn it off when breastfeeding. If they were designed to be fat, why did we not have an obesity problem in the 40s, 50s, or anytime before, anywhere in the world? Everyone started getting fat when things got easier, activity levels dropped, and fast food and processed food took over. Conscious lifestyle CHOICES. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:28:50 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I just thought it was funny that she acted the way I'd expect any loyal, faithful wife would, and any man here would admire her for it. But if we switch the genders of her post, I predict the attitude would be very different for some of you. I'm also not against a husband or wife choosing a spouse whom they know is on the same page as them and encouraging them to keep those standards. (As long as it's a two-day street.) But still, I return to what Naamah wrote, and how some of you wouldn't be willing to say the same as she, were the genders reversed... My post was not about her or you or anyone in particular. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:40:14 PM EDT
[#34]
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:50:59 PM EDT
[#35]
I took vows. I will keep them. My wife is active and healthy.
Would I encourage her to be more nutrition conscious, exercise more, and be more health conscious? Yes. Would I be hurt and feel like I've been taken for granted if my wife let herself go? Yes. Would I be less proud of my wife, less attracted to my wife, and less interested in sex with her if she let herself go? Yes. This is human nature. Completely neglecting one's health and appearance has serious negative consequences for a marriage. No amount of "body positivity" bullshit is going to make me become physically attracted to a fat woman, even if I married her. That's not how the vast majority of humans are wired. Lots of people blame lots of things for failed relationships, but a lot of it starts with personal health neglect. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 5:52:54 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
The guy whose kids would call his big fat wife "Barney" whenever she put on a purple shirt was pretty funny. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
You can call me a soyboy if you want OP, but my femininity, or lack thereof has nothing to do with the vows I made. So, since I didn't read the thread, can anyone summarize? Would reading it destroy my faith in humanity, or bolster it? If you think that was funny, you should have been there when she said she was glad we had a pool that day because she was , "one (pause) hot (pause) dog" and my step son squirted ketchup all over her. Round two was ON! |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 6:14:13 PM EDT
[#37]
Sorry my vows mean something if not to her, to me. For better OR WORSE, richer or POORER.
I swear most people now days might as well just say "for better and richer cause otherwise fuck this I'm out". |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 6:17:35 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
My wife has too much respect for herself and for me to blimp out, even after having kids. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 6:51:04 PM EDT
[#39]
We all need to be completely, 100% supportive when our spouse becomes a landwhale because of apathy, and accept that the rest of our lives will be spent together checking BGL, going to numerous cardiology appointments and falling asleep to the romantic sounds of a CPAP machine, amirite?
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Posted: 1/30/2018 6:58:29 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We all need to be completely, 100% supportive when our spouse becomes a landwhale because of apathy, and accept that the rest of our lives will be spent together checking BGL, going to numerous cardiology appointments and falling asleep to the romantic sounds of a CPAP machine, amirite? 
I don’t understand how people just sit back and do nothing and call it love. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 6:58:38 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Sex is a very important part of a healthy marriage. In order to have regular sex you probably need a fair amount of sexual attraction towards your wife. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Which vow mentioned “until you blimp out do us part?” |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:01:09 PM EDT
[#42]
lol fat people
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:01:24 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
wrist rule OP if you can put you arms around her and reach your wrist ... She isn't fat Fuc dat! |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:15:47 PM EDT
[#44]
For all the "death do us part" guys...
Back in the day if you lived long enough and your first wife got old and fat you'd just add another to the haram... as long as you could afford it. Adultery? Go be poor somewhere else. Also, "honor thy husband" anyone? |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:21:50 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
We all need to be completely, 100% supportive when our spouse becomes a landwhale because of apathy, and accept that the rest of our lives will be spent together checking BGL, going to numerous cardiology appointments and falling asleep to the romantic sounds of a CPAP machine, amirite? The only thing being argued in this thread by the side you are parodying is that a man's honor is determined in large part by his capacity to keep one of the most sacred vows a human can make. If that's offensive to you, then perhaps you need to either reorient your moral compass or just toss it out. But you can't have it both ways. You either keep your word--and your honor--or you stop giving a shit about honor altogether and "just do you." I couldn't give two shits whether or not someone is concerned about what is becoming such an outmoded notion, but at the very least we should be honest with ourselves. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:23:38 PM EDT
[#46]
Ah, to be lectured on my honor and morals by someone I don't know on the internet. Classic.
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:24:54 PM EDT
[#47]
And people said Gay marriage was an affront to traditional marriage....
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:28:20 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Ah, to be lectured on my honor and morals by someone I don't know on the internet. Classic. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:34:27 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
and that's what women need. It's hard. I've been thin my whole life and I've been an athlete my entire life but menopause, arthritis and thyroid coupled with a husband who loves junk food I found myself needing to lose 40 pounds. Most women do not have my background of exercise and resolve. They need love, support and compassion.Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted: My wife fights with lupus, thyroid, arthritis and bad parental lessons. It took me a lot longer than necessary to get her to see the big picture and that I wasn't just being an ass. I was scared she'd be dead by 45. She fought for herself and for us, she worked her ass off for 2 straight years to lose the weight, but most of all become healthy. Diet, mental, emotionally. She'd set goals, and we'd celebrate them together. I coached her along the entire way. Side by side. Eat what she ate, exercised, etc. Wish you all the success, and hope you can press through the hard days. and that's what women need. It's hard. I've been thin my whole life and I've been an athlete my entire life but menopause, arthritis and thyroid coupled with a husband who loves junk food I found myself needing to lose 40 pounds. Most women do not have my background of exercise and resolve. They need love, support and compassion.There's three ways to deal with such a situation. Do nothing and let everyone be unhappy. (No good, not for anyone.) Be a petulant manbaby and pout because she got fat but be a douche, impatient, unsupportive while pressuring weight loss (or worse, say nothing but silently seethe), and act like it's all about you and she "did" this to you. (No good result will come from this.) Be part of a team and back her up. If she doesn't like being fat (almost no person likes being fat) then with support, love, compassion she can start working towards a healthy goal. (Has the highest chance of success.) Do you have the patience and love to do it? Some here clearly don't. |
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Posted: 1/30/2018 7:57:25 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
This is a really stupid, immature topic. The poll has stupid choices as well. Here's my Poll. Why would you divorce your spouse just because of weight gain? Because you're: 1. Stupid 2. A moron 3. Extremely Immature 4. A Democrat 5. An Adolescent who isn't even old enough to get married anyway; Synonymous with #3. 6. Psychopathic or Sociopathic 7. Extremely Narcissistic |
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