User Panel
Posted: 2/9/2016 1:25:54 PM EDT
If intelligence reports are to be believed, ISIS is in a state of alarm after some of its top commanders have been mysteriously killed with sniper shots to their heads. This has planted terror in the minds of ISIS members who are convinced the ghost of Chris Kyle is carrying out these attacks.
A leading intelligence officer provided the following possible explanation for this belief: “Following the beheading of an individual for possessing a bootleg version of the ‘westerner movie,’ American Sniper, several ISIS commanders watched the confiscated film. About a month later, a couple of commanders were shot in the head while they made love to a donkey. Initially, ISIS members believed another animal had committed the executions in a jealous rage. ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks. After holding an emergency meeting to determine who was capable of such terrifyingly accurate, long-range shooting, ISIS members came to the conclusion that it must be the ghost of Chris Kyle. This theory generated more momentum after another top ISIS commander was found dead with a gunshot to the head made from a distance of about 1800 meters. As very few individuals, including Chris Kyle and a handful of Navy Seal snipers, are capable of such heroic and legendary feats, everyone began believing in the ghost. If a person can carry out such patriotism and destruction while alive, consider how much more deadly his ghost would be.” ISIS is reportedly considering surrendering rather than face the wrath of the ghosts of Kyle and other fallen American heroes. http://squibnews.com/2016/02/07/isis-worried-american-sniper-chris-kyles-ghost-is-killing-their-top-commanders/ |
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Kyle is a Jinni.
Good. Spread the rumor throughout the Middle East. |
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We should fuel their fears by placing a "Chris Kyle" headstone on top of an empty grave...
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About a month later, a couple of commanders were shot in the head while they made love to a donkey. Initially, ISIS members believed another animal had committed the executions in a jealous rage. ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks.
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I know that it is the norm to squash rumors and to educate when possible;
honestly though... y'all need to encourage that rumor, hard. 'Your behavior is most haram, therefore I summon the great CHRIS KYLE (may peace be upon him, even as he visits death upon you)' ... or, something to that effect... |
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It was the donkey shaman that summoned him. They've finally had enough of the ass raping.
If they don't knock that shit off, he's bringing in the ghost of Carlos Hathcock to join in. |
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The greatest trick the Devil of Ramadi ever pulled was convincing Isis he was a ghost View Quote |
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What our snipers are doing is sighting in on target....taking a deep breath....holding....
and saying Chris Kyle as they slowly pull the trigger...this is working very well with head shots. Chris's name lives on. |
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Quoted:
About a month later, a couple of commanders were shot in the head while they made love to a donkey. Initially, ISIS members believed another animal had committed the executions in a jealous rage. ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks. View Quote Made love to the donkey, or raped the poor thing? |
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Quoted:
What our snipers are doing is sighting in on target....taking a deep breath....holding.... and saying Chris Kyle as they slowly pull the trigger...this is working very well with head shots. Chris's name lives on. View Quote If that true, that is fucking cool. Good way for his name to live on doing what he loved and good way for the guys to keep him in their memories. I hope the goat fucks run scared form that mans name forever. |
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Why not? He's already got a bunch of other made-up kills. Might as well keep going.
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Nothin' good ever comes from fucking donkeys. Don't know how many times I have to say it.
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Yep. We could drop leaflets that say, "Don't fuck with us or the ghost of Chris Kyle will shoot you in the head with his magic rifle while you fuck your donkey. And he won't even let you finish." View Quote View All Quotes View All Quotes Quoted:
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Opportunity for increased Psyops? Yep. We could drop leaflets that say, "Don't fuck with us or the ghost of Chris Kyle will shoot you in the head with his magic rifle while you fuck your donkey. And he won't even let you finish." Along with thousands of Punisher skull stickers |
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Even though I'm sure he wishes that he were actually able to follow through on that from beyond the grave, I imagine that just the thought that his name would inspire terror in ISIS leadership would give him a grin.
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"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine"
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Good. Airdrop a bunch of Punisher comic books and pics of Kyle with his Punisher logo gear onto them and REALLY freak them the fuck out.
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ISIS’s chief scientist eventually deduced, after intense calculations, that it was likely a human, not an animal, who was responsible for the attacks.
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This perception should never be squelched. Long Live ALL the ghosts of our fallen, to take revenge upon our enemies.
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Quoted: What our snipers are doing is sighting in on target....taking a deep breath....holding.... and saying Chris Kyle as they slowly pull the trigger...this is working very well with head shots. Chris's name lives on. View Quote So you're talking while you are shooting, with your mouth on the cheek rest and inducing movement during a precise shot. |
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does a person really "make love" to a donkey, or just bang one out?
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