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Posted: 5/14/2023 10:56:02 PM EDT
[#1]
I have a story that's way better than yours.
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Posted: 5/14/2023 10:57:28 PM EDT
[#2]
Typical STAN
"Shit, that ain't nothin...." |
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Posted: 5/14/2023 10:59:18 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I have a story that's way better than yours. I have two! |
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:00:53 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I have a story that's way better than yours. Thats nothing, I have two! |
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:01:37 PM EDT
[#5]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I have two! Well shit.... OK, you claimed two before I did....but I was holding back...I have ALL the stories! |
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:08:27 PM EDT
[#6]
I work with a guy who I believe has a legitimate mental disorder. He always has to one up everyone, always has to talk about how great he is, and walks into the office almost every day on the phone (not sure if there is anyone actually one the other end) talking super loud about himself.
He also likes to answer questions that are asked of other people…… The world revolves around him!!!!! |
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:14:52 PM EDT
[#7]
having seen ghostbusters i know that when asked if you're a god you always respond in the affirmative
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:16:29 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: having seen ghostbusters i know that when asked if you're a god you always respond in the affirmative Ha! |
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:20:10 PM EDT
[#9]
Oh, you mean Jamie I used to work with. Her last name started with a J so people would say, oh, you got jj'd. The ultimate name dropper topper. I loved talking to her just to see how big a story could get. She went on a month long cruise once. $50,000. Met all kinds of stars.
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:25:40 PM EDT
[#10]
A manager we used to have at work would always start his one upping with “I’ll never forget the time…” and head off into some tale of dubious veracity. They were all intended to convince all the guys (his subordinates) that he was really a cool guy. Mostly he just got mocked behind his back and eventually to his face for being a liar and a try-hard.
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Posted: 5/14/2023 11:51:14 PM EDT
[#11]
I teach high school boys. This thread has nothing on them
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Posted: 5/15/2023 1:27:02 AM EDT
[#12]
There was a woman who had to one- up every medical procedure... till one day she overheard a guy saying his procedure left him very, very tender. She, of course, said "Oh, I had that done! I was in AGONY... " till someone said "Glen was describing his vasectomy!"
Shut her right down! |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 8:54:45 AM EDT
[#13]
I work for early-mid career attorneys. One up me (you can't)
cool story bro time: In college, the track team had an overweight wanna be walk on that claimed to have finished in X position at a certain foot locker regional race. I said, gee, that's funny because that is the where I finished in that race. He feigned amnesia, claiming that maybe it was a spot ahead or behind, but I knew both of those guys as well. He never admitted to the truth, which was that he finished 100 spots back from where he claimed. People tell the dumbest lies. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:04:15 AM EDT
[#14]
Met a dude who was so bad that I caught him telling MY stories, to other people, about himself, while I was present. Even used the same names and places, just inserted himself in my place.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:04:30 AM EDT
[#15]
Lot of dickheads like that out there....
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:17:29 AM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Met a dude who was so bad that I caught him telling MY stories, to other people, about himself, while I was present. Even used the same names and places, just inserted himself in my place. I wonder about this on a deep level. There is a certain benign tale that my friends tell involving a group of us. I am sure I was never present for such an event. They swear i was. I think we are all being honest. One of the things that has led to question my own recollection is reviewing deposition transcripts a week or two later. Somethings are recorded exactly the way i remember them. Then there are others that i recall differently or not at all. It is odd. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:23:25 AM EDT
[#17]
I invented the Post-it Note.
And Go-GURT. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:29:04 AM EDT
[#18]
There's a few here and once you notice, you can't ever un-see it.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:30:19 AM EDT
[#19]
I don't have any great stories per se, but I knew one who could not stop himself. Knew more about everything than anyone.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:30:40 AM EDT
[#20]
Had a guy like that where I used to work. Literally any story you'd tell, he'd have done something similar but better.
It got to the point where people would just make weird shit up just to see if he'd try to one up them and usually he did. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:41:45 AM EDT
[#21]
A friend of mine went to high school with a guy, that my ex-wife eventually worked with. His secret nickname, that everyone called him behind his back, was FIGJAM.
Fuck, I'm Good. Just Ask Me. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:43:13 AM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: There's a few here and once you notice, you can't ever un-see it. That's cool but I've noticed quite a few here |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:45:12 AM EDT
[#23]
two buckets
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:50:32 AM EDT
[#24]
CMJohnson?
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:52:33 AM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Met a dude who was so bad that I caught him telling MY stories, to other people, about himself, while I was present. Even used the same names and places, just inserted himself in my place. My dad was a story adopter, he told me some of my stories and acted all confused when I called him out on it. I heard him telling others stories as well, somehow late in his life his story telling took off to another level. Several of his caretakers would say he was the most interesting man they had ever met and that his life should be documented in a book or movie, I didn't tell them that he was full of BS. They and he seemed content with the fantasy. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:55:10 AM EDT
[#26]
Talking guns at work, my old manager always one upped, no matter how BS it sounded.
One day I was discussing shotguns and mentioned something about a 10 gauge, he spouts off, I HAVE A NINE GAUGE SHOTGUN!! I looked at sideways like a curious pup, and just shook my head. He knew that I knew he was living badly. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 9:55:31 AM EDT
[#27]
I walked on the moon.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:06:38 AM EDT
[#28]
Back I’m my construction days I met a carpet layer that insisted he installed all the carpet in the Taj Mahal.
There were lots of other whoppers as well but that’s the one I remember. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:06:49 AM EDT
[#29]
Yea, I work with one also, no matter where you been and what you have seen, he has been further and seen more.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:10:59 AM EDT
[#30]
Thunder and puppies? I doubt it.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:13:49 AM EDT
[#31]
Usually military guys with their secret seal team experiences.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:20:53 AM EDT
[#32]
I worked with a guy in the Army that claimed to be a trained cook, mechanic (wheeled and tracked), medic, small arms repair man, and mortarman.
It turns out he was telling the truth. He had been in all three branches, and reclassed a few times in the guard. He enlisted for desert storm and was getting ready to retire. He was the worst one-upper I ever met, but he was probably telling the truth. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:21:57 AM EDT
[#33]
No shit, there I was….
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:25:29 AM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I worked with a guy in the Army that claimed to be a trained cook, mechanic (wheeled and tracked), medic, small arms repair man, and mortarman. It turns out he was telling the truth. He had been in all three branches, and reclassed a few times in the guard. He enlisted for desert storm and was getting ready to retire. He was the worst one-upper I ever met, but he was probably telling the truth. I thought I was doing good to have 2 of those 5 jobs in one enlistment. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:27:24 AM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Met a dude who was so bad that I caught him telling MY stories, to other people, about himself, while I was present. Even used the same names and places, just inserted himself in my place. I had a guy do this very same thing a long time ago. I just stood there like, "whaaaaat is going on right now?  "
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:35:10 AM EDT
[#36]
Serious Q in case I’m not being self aware. When someone tells a story I will often tell a related story. Always telling the truth and often not better just related.
Never gotten a negative reaction but curious if this counts |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:39:15 AM EDT
[#37]
Yeah see, the difference is, my stories are all true.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:39:45 AM EDT
[#38]
One fun game is to get two or more of them together.
Get the cycle started. They start trying to one-up each other in an ever-escalating tower of bullshit. Stand back and egg them on. Best, JBR |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:41:57 AM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I work with a guy who I believe has a legitimate mental disorder. He always has to one up everyone, always has to talk about how great he is, and walks into the office almost every day on the phone (not sure if there is anyone actually one the other end) talking super loud about himself. He also likes to answer questions that are asked of other people…… The world revolves around him!!!!! I worked with one. At first I thought he was just a d bag, then I realized he was compensating for being extremely self conscious and I kind of felt bad for him. He was still too annoying to be around though. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:43:46 AM EDT
[#40]
We did training at Hoover dam for a tactical response course and had some rappelling. A friend's husband said he had done some stuff in the military and he had done similar things. I have known him since high school and he never left town, so his story stinks. I think he forgot that.
I then showed pictures of the ropes and going over and he said we were a bunch of pussies. He had to run down the dam as part of his training to assist the dam police in a terrorist attack. ETA- I forgot an important part... he is currently in prison for fraud  His lies finally caught up with him.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:44:30 AM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: There was a woman who had to one- up every medical procedure... till one day she overheard a guy saying his procedure left him very, very tender. She, of course, said "Oh, I had that done! I was in AGONY... " till someone said "Glen was describing his vasectomy!" Shut her right down! My mom does that to me, but it's her nice way of telling me to stop being a pussy and get back to work. No matter what illness I may have, she always tells me she had it last week and walked it off. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:45:34 AM EDT
[#42]
Almost as bad as people who have to make every conversation about themselves.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 10:54:50 AM EDT
[#43]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Almost as bad as people who have to make every conversation about themselves. Some are just annoying, but conversational narcissist is something relatively new to me I had to look up to learn how to deal with a coworker. It's the most annoying habit I've ever been around. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 11:17:28 AM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Some are just annoying, but conversational narcissist is something relatively new to me I had to look up to learn how to deal with a coworker. It's the most annoying habit I've ever been around. I'm sorry, I wasn't listening to anything you said because I'm too busy preparing my response. |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 12:05:30 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I walked on the moon. oh yeah? i did donuts with that little rover car thingy |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 12:13:40 PM EDT
[#46]
Ever work a DoD contract with a retired Navy vet? Goddam, it's enough to make you sea sick. Only branch that just had to talk shop every day, all day. "Shoot, one time we were out in...." blah blah blah.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 12:15:30 PM EDT
[#47]
Oh, yeah? Well, I invented Play Doh. And the Slinky. At the same time, on the toilet, in fourth grade. With my eyes closed.
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Posted: 5/15/2023 12:18:26 PM EDT
[#48]
So no shit there I was with the Ayatollah of Iran, Burt Reynolds, and 3 albino emperor penguins that broke out of a nearby zoo....
 Attached File |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 12:23:49 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Met a dude who was so bad that I caught him telling MY stories, to other people, about himself, while I was present. Even used the same names and places, just inserted himself in my place. Steven Segal was noted for that. He would hang out with operators, listen to their stories, and incorporate them into his "persona". |
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Posted: 5/15/2023 12:25:41 PM EDT
[#50]
I knew a laborer on a plaster crew who told one of my clients he was a retired college professor. My client was fascinated by this story which was total bull.
Same plaster guy (last name Paris) showed me a picture of a teenager and told me that was his daughter Loreal and went on to say the French cosmetics company was founded by the girls mother and named after her, total bullshit he just expected everyone to believe. |
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