This made me laugh (Cloud Atlas)
PRIMITIVE TOM HANKS and FUTURE HALLE BERRY are CLIMBING A MOUNTAIN. Why are they CLIMBING A MOUNTAIN? Because they’re in LOVE.
TOM HANKS
Hey, Halle. Yousa all fancy high-techy girl. How come yousa not have helly-chop-chop?
HALLE BERRY
What?
TOM HANKS
It’s the future. Where my flying car?
HALLE BERRY
Mushroom cloud go boom-boom. Civilization go bye-bye. No more fly-high gizmo and whatnot.
TOM HANKS
So your people have a fusion-powered hovercraft, but no airplanes?
HUGO WEAVING
KILL HER!! KILL HER!!
TOM HANKS
Is okay. I'z craplousy guide nee’how. This be sheer cliff we must climb.
PRIMITIVE TOM HANKS and FUTURE HALLE BERRY make it to
the top of the mountain and enter an ABANDONED TEMPLE or possibly an
INTERSTELLAR COMMUNICATIONS STATION. Skeletons are EVERYWHERE.HALLE BERRY
Now we’uns just has to push yon big shiny button to
call an interstellar rescue fleet to carry us away from Earth to a
planet that’s not a radioactive wasteland. But first, I'll show yousa a
video-film that will tear down your entire religion and belief system.
Just for yon shits and giggles.
HUGO WEAVING
KILL HER!! KILL HER!!
TOM HANKS
Nah.
HUGO WEAVING
Congratulations, your psychotic schizophrenia is now
cured. As a reward, you now get to fly to another planet and bang
Halle Berry.
TOM HANKS
Do I get to speak English now?
HALLE BERRY
No, we’uns gonna keep this wacky-dacky talk up all rest yon movie for tru-tru.
AUDIENCE
Holy fuck, this movie has to be over now, right?!
TOM HANKS
No, we’uns still got a cannibal attack and bloodshed gory galory to go.
AUDIENCE
But if you give us too much time to think, we’ll
start to wonder why none of the dead people in the temple bothered to
push the big shiny "RESCUE US” button before they lay down on the floor
and died.
TOM HANKS
Fine. We’uns will skip to big finish.