I don't know what the fuck happened, but we were doing really good with not exchanging gifts among the adults for several years......this year it went all to hell, everyone is exchanging gifts again.

Dammit, the kids are all pushing 40, we don't need stuff. If anything I need you to take stuff away. Just buy some stuff for the grandkids and be happy.

I'm overflowing with clothes, too.  "Don't need any clothes" has been a successful campaign for me the last few years.

"It's just nice to have something to open on Christmas morning"  to my sister seems to work to get me something utilitarian I can use. Mom always sent some money.

Dad always sent a couple 2# jars of Kirkland cashews and/or mixed nuts. I asked him every year not to send them, because it was an easy 5# I'd gain as a  result.  I went to visit his brother at Thanksgiving, and when I was leaving they gave me a 2# jar of Kirkland mixed nuts. I said, "This looks like something Dad might have sent." Uncle says, "Huh, yeah, that's probably where it came from." lol  Looked at the date on it when I got home, and it expired a over 2 years ago...yeah, that would be about right to be from Dad.

While everyone is there, take the entire package out into the yard and set it on fire. If they ask, tell them, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO BUY ME ANY FUCKING SOCKS FOR CHRISTMAS! BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN! DID YOU, MOTHERFUCKERS?! MAYBE THIS WILL GET BURNED INTO YOUR NEANDERTHAL-LIKE BRAIN FOR THE FUTURE TO NOT BUY ME SOCKS FOR CHRISTMAS! AND IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY OTHER GRAND IDEAS ABOUT BUYING ME STUPID SHIT FOR CHRISTMAS THAT I DON'T WANT OR DIDN'T ASK FOR, LET THIS BURN INTO YOUR BRAIN AS A REMINDER OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THOSE TYPES OF GIFTS!"

Or you could graciously accept them, then take all those packages of never-opened socks and donate them to the thrift store or to your local homeless shelter.

We all get gifts that we really don't want. But gifts are supposed to be a surprise, not the stuff you want but didn't buy for yourself. So just be happy that there are still people willing to talk to you and hang out with you on our Lord's birthday. Then take those gifts and give them to someone who isn't as fortunate as you to have a family to put up with their bullshit.

Just had this discussion with my wife:

“Bro-zilian.”  My wife works with two girls/women who are 20-somethings; they go to a waxing joint for their bikini line for warm weather vacation.  Cute kids who frankly, look like they are just barely entering puberty—I don’t think I ever looked that young…..

The DON’T BUY ME: a male Brazilian (aka Bro-zilian) which “include shaft, pubic mound & sack” per the menu board.

My wife gets giggly because I’ve told her I don’t get “manscaping” which I see multiple times/day in my office.

Pubescent boys would wait for their “short curlies” to grow as a sign of becoming a man in my generation—and shaving pubes to look prepubescent is…well, abby-something, IMO.

I’m just thankful that il have somewhere to enjoy a Christmas dinner. Mind you I have to drive 4 hours away one way for it but I’m going to take my lifelong friends offer for it

Don't know what I'll get. When people asked what I wanted I said nothing and changed the subject.

A puppy.

I would rather take a beating to within an inch of my life than have to figure out what to do with a damn dog.

I tried that when I was 8.  It didn’t work.

You don't trim up your ball jungle for your woman?

I rarely get Christmas gifts anymore which is fine with me. People used to buy me things because they knew I was into something. But they would get the most useless stuff than was only marginally involved with that activity and some of it wasn't cheap. Rather just them keep their money and move on. It's the thought that counts and most showed no thought at all.

Probably one of the best posts I’ve read here in a while.