I was supervising graveyard shift and was there for 10 hours.  I'm tired and ready to go home.  Then the oncoming supervisor calls me and says she can't come in because her Mom's bird died and she was going to be real upset about that.  I asked her, "So you're calling in 'dead bird'?"  I had to wait another couple of hours before another supervisor was sent over to relieve me.

That’s a pretty good story

Seen it over and over and over.  Nothing you can do.  

Call a guys office to discuss his job performance
When I told the secretary I needed to speak to “supervisor “
about “idiot employee”
She starts laughing and says what did he do now?
It went down hill from there

Thankfully “idiot” did it, in front of a security camera with sound

After the firing that afternoon, the “supervisor” bought
dinner at the steakhouse for the wife and I.

Hospital administrators are scum of the earth.

You beloved that? Ha. Joke was on you.

Not a subordinate, but I was in Talil Iraq in 2008, us USAF types were walking to the chow hall, as we were about to enter I watched a female E-9 ND her M9 into the clearing barrel, with the magazine still inserted she racked the slide, ejecting a live round into the dirt and ND’d that bitch again, she went to rack the slide AGAIN, when some Senior Airman grabbed her arm and took her M9 from her.

I was and still am dumbfounded, like to this day I can’t believe it happened.

It's because they see you as an employee.

My wife was in a meeting with 4-5 C suite hospital administrators and most didn’t know how to use excel.  They were shooting down some sort of project because they could understand  the information in front of them.

I'll be honest I don't blame him. He was probably all about being a fire fighter and thought he was only going to be doing that. I wouldn't do well with seeing someone's exploded head either.

I'm confused...does your PD not issue ammo?

A national survey in 2020 showed 66% of men and women can drive a manual. That falacy that it's an anti theft device is not set in stone yet.  Probably in another generation or so.

At least he was smart enough to quit and not bullshit his way on calls.

Around 2003, the company I worked for merged the cell phone tech group with the land line group. I worked land line. I was back up for a cell tech who was from down south somewhere.

My boss called me to go help a cell tech who got stuck in the snow. No big deal, it's February in northern Michigan & there is about 3 feet of new lake effect snow. It happens.

I get to the place he is supposed to be...no one around & no truck in sight. I can see I'm about a mile from the cell tower. It's up a steep hill on a two track that has a "road closed in winter" barricade. I've been there before in winter. It's walk in with snow shoes carrying your test gear. Not impossible but no fun either. Hell, that two track ain't even that good in the summer

I call cell tech. No answer.
Call boss, boss says "He said he was going home after walking out"
Me: Walk out of where?
Boss: He said he was stuck on the road
Me: Uh...I think he tried to drive up to the tower.
Boss: He what?!
Me: Looks like there are truck tracks going around the barricade & foot prints walking out.
Boss: What the hell?
Me: Yup, he tried to drive in there.

I strap on the snow shoes, trudge in. He managed to drive about 1/2 way in. I could see where he had gotten stuck a couple times but kept heading farther in.  Man he sure did stick it. Buried with snow over the hood, left the driver's door open AND ran out of gas.It took some real world skill to do that.

Oh well, fuck it, I'm here & the tower is still out of service. Walk back to my truck, grab test gear & head back in to fix the problem after calling boss & tell him it's going to take a recovery wrecker. $1500 bill for that bit of fuckery.

Next day. He did exactly the same thing again with different truck. This time he managed to bounce it off a couple trees doing a lot of body damage. Another $1500 recovery bill plus a body shop bill. To his credit, he did manage to drive 30 feet farther to the tower.

Boss was told he was not allowed to fire him and that the guy was being transferred to southern Michigan.

That number would be a lot lower if there were a test of skill involved instead of just self reporting.  My wife says she can drive a manual but you better have a new clutch in there and you'd better get used to that burned plate smell.

I told a process engineer that the only way to make something idiot proof was to get rid of the idiots.

Only at the range for training or the academy. We were responsible for our own guns and duty ammo. Good part was this gave us a lot of choices. Only limited to anything between .38/9mm and .44 mag/.45 ACP. Ammo had to be SP/HP or FMJ.

Huh...learned something new today...I assume that it is tax deductible?