I guess my parents had a midlife crisis and bought a Fiero when they first came out.  A girl I was going to school with found out about it and and asked to be driven around with it.  One thing led to another, and, amazingly, if you're creative, you can have amazing sex in a two seater.  Explaining the footprints on the windshield of your mother's  car the next morning can be interesting.  Sometimes, Dammit, mom, I have no explanation of this can be the right answer.

Replace curve with cliff and you got the idea....

Fuckum,... you got over it, so can they.

Awesome update
I would have a 30' dumpster in front of the house Tuesday and every last piece of he shit would go in it. I'd video part of it saying "fuck you gramma" repetitively each time something is tossed in.  Post to youtube and make sure grannie sees it.

Story is bullshit

Everyone knows that you'd just poop out the little grey things if it was up your ass.

She blames it on living through the depression.  I've asked her how saving a computer from 1995 is going to help her if we hit another great depression.  This is the lady that decided she had to downsize because she couldn't afford her house.  He monthly mortgage was around 450 with taxes and insurance going into escrow.  She sold us the house for a great deal, 40k in equity right off the bat, and was planning on moving into a nice single bedroom apartment in a good area for 400/mo.  Unbelievable deal.  A month before the move she changes her mind and moves into a big two bedroom for 750/mo so she has room for her stuff(that she doesn't need and will never touch).

Now I fear she'll never come over to get the rest of her shit out.  Not that I expected it in the first place.  We already told her she's past due in that regard and we will be disposing of everything possible as quickly as possible as the means present themselves to do so.  Honestly I think she just can't stomach the thought of it getting thrown away but knows she doesn't have room for any more crap so she's trying to prolong its disposal as long as possible.

As I said before and others have reiterated, the plus side is this might be what finally pushes her to an understanding that this is no longer her house.  She used to have a 'spare key' that she didn't turn over to us.  Said as long as her stuff was still in our house she was entitled to have a way in.  We told her she had a way in, call us and set up a time to come get your stuff and we will help you load it up.  Also made sure she understood that everything left in the house after closing was legally ours to do with as we please so she has no legal right to enter our property.  Well that wasn't good enough so she kept the key.  Then one day she calls up bitching at my wife because her key doesn't work.  Ah, so you were going to come into our house unannounced when we weren't home and you're the one that's pissed that you can't get in?

I'm sure things will be back to normal shortly as I doubt she has an issue with a newlywed couple engaging in coitus, I can understand the shock of seeing her granddaughter bent over...

You never go straight to your ass with a toy first.  Ass is the finisher.  You accomplish all other tasks intended for said toy first before that.  Everyone knows that...



Nah, I'm trying to keep things on good terms with her side of the family.  So far despite the way it sounds things have been moving along decently.  That bumper sticker "born to bitch" was made for my wife's grandmother.  She has something to say about everything.  Just nod your head and carry on with your business and she forgets about it the next day.  We've been tossing her shit for the better part of two months now and she is aware.  She'll make a comment here or there about how some bullshit pile of trash was an antique and we should have "sold it and split the money with her" but we didn't because we "don't know what (we are) doing."

You're right, I don't have a clue what I'm doing *carries on throwing shit out*

You're awesome

It may not reach 20+ pages but this is definitely EPIC.  

Can't you get G'ma hooked up with some old dude? Find a Mr. Furley to help her break her hip. Maybe that will give you guys some quiet time.

Cool story bro?

Most inappropriate use of CSB in annuls of GD.

Your post is bad and you should feel bad

I'm nooicing your noice.

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile

Damn, what an update

Outstanding!

Boundaries, Grandma doesn't have them...

I should put a sign up as a warning on the fence gate "Beware of doggy."

Everyone else will think it's just your typical "beware of dog" sign on it with a cute twist but grandma will know better...

But he's right.  I'm bro as fuck and I just told a cool story.

Yes, do this. Do this thing with my blessing.

At least you didnt hastily grab a tube of grandma's bengay while trying to find the lube for the cucumber...

Mine was a bathtub curve.



I never actually got to the other side to even see if there was an 'other side'.



 

Awesome!

Not true. My wife still puts out. She's a nympho though. Married August, 1992.

If Grandma is old enough to remember the Great Depression then she earned the right to be a little eccentric.  Just play along for now so that when she passes on in a few it will be on a good note that you can later smile about when you reminisce. Yes, that generation hoards to the 10th degree because that closet full of empty egg cartons and National Geographic magazines is what every 90 yr old on a daily regimen of medication and doctor appointments will need for survival when TSHTF.

On a shock collar. Then play them like you'd play the bells.

 

This epic thread must go into arfcom 101, to be remembered now and forever.

Cucumber jokes will be a staple of arfcom for years.

You asked them not to come over. You then made plans for them to come over at a different time. Its not your fault they decided to ignore you guys, trespass and look in your fucking windows

I used to laugh at guys that said shit like that.  Then menopause hit.  

...and the ONE thing that is STILL missing from this GEM of a story is...

If the OP doesn't post the wife pics within 24 hours I vote perma ban.

You have been here long enough to assist in making the rules. No pics of "wife," so didn't happen.

 

 
That's almost as good as the OP.

Cucumber salad with every meal from now on .

Fucking is fun and you two sound like a couple of exhibitionist. Have fun OP and fuck till you can't fuck no more.

Yup.

Gotta have some cukes, every time granny comes over for dinner now.

And if there was ever an appropriate thread for THIS picture (which I have been waiting to find for a LONG time), THIS IS IT!



(Okay I guess maybe that's a kielbasa, whatever).

LMAO !

Well done OP.
On all counts.

I guess grandmama does realize where her children cam from, or her grandchildren, or her great grandchildren.

In the words of my mother "Understand... FUCKING MAKES BABIES!!"

 
I'm dying here.  

Dear Penthouse and Hustler.........

It's been a lot of years, so maybe I don't remember too well, but for some reason I don't think most of those letters were of the "my grandmother was watching" variety.

Well??  Did she join in??  Don't keep us hanging man, not cool!

How we've gotten this far with such an utter and blatant disregard for the rules, is beyond me.....

DGASAA14O

(Don't give a shit about a 14er's opinion.)

OP, might I suggest you have your wife talk to grandma about her stuff.  Suggest that grandma rent a storage garage and as a good will gesture you, your wife, BIL and whoever else can help move all of her priceless stuff into said storage space.

Then she can take comfort in knowing all of her stuff is safe.  Maybe the thought of paying a monthly fee to store her stuff will help her see the light and start the purge.

Then when she passes you can rent a dumpster or let the storage company keep it.

Your grandmother and BIL are peeping toms.  

Yes, I would serve a cucumber salad the next time they come over to dinner.  And if she remarks about the incident in a distasteful manor, I tell her to stop being a peeping tom.