Stupid Dad joke. - Page 1

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[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Stupid Dad joke. (Page 1 of 2)

Posted: 6/8/2023 6:54:32 PM EDT

Hear about the new hotel in town? Its staffed with nothing but topless cowgirls.
They call it the Breast Western.

Posted: 6/8/2023 7:00:16 PM EDT

[#1]

What do you call a guy who just finished digging a hole?

...Doug.

Posted: 6/8/2023 7:18:28 PM EDT

[#2]

How do you catch a bra?

With a Boobie trap!!

Posted: 6/8/2023 7:28:06 PM EDT

[#3]

What's the only thing worse than a dad joke?

A bad joke.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:16:41 PM EDT

[#4]

No such thing as a "stupid dad joke."

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:22:52 PM EDT

[#5]

See those cows? They're famous cows.

Why are they famous?

They're outstanding in their field.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:26:05 PM EDT

[#6]

You know those round bales of hay you see out in the farmers fields?

Turns out they are being outlawed.

The reason?

The cows weren’t getting a square meal.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:26:19 PM EDT

[#7]

What did the Ewoks say after they ate Chewbacca's son?

He tasted a "little Chewy".

That one I made up myself for my son.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:29:44 PM EDT

[#8]

Quote History

Quoted:
You know those round bales of hay you see out in the farmers fields?

Turns out they are being outlawed.

The reason?

The cows weren’t getting a square meal.

View Quote

I'm stealing this one!

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:31:22 PM EDT

[#9]

You hear about that new movie called constipation?
No?
It hasn’t came out yet.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:34:53 PM EDT

[#10]

Baby seal walks into a club.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:40:04 PM EDT

[#11]

Quoted:
Hear about the new hotel in town? Its staffed with nothing but topless cowgirls.
They call it the Breast Western.

View Quote

That sounds like one hell of a business opportunity.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:41:58 PM EDT

[#12]

What’d the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here, I’m going on ahead.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:51:14 PM EDT

[#13]

- Monday starts diarrhea awareness week. Runs through Friday.

- I was once kidnapped by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

- I sent my hearing aids off for repair last week. I haven’t heard anything since.

- Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor? Everyone.

- You gotta hand it to short people. Because they can't reach it on their own.

- I told my wife that her underwear was too tight and revealing. She told me that I should wear my own.

- I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

- Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

- My asked me if I was listening to her. I thought that’s a strange way to start a conversation.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:55:45 PM EDT

[#14]

What happened When Captain Kirk tried to Fart?

He Left a Captain's Log.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:58:28 PM EDT

[#15]

My wife just confessed that she broke my favorite lamp.

I don't think I'll be able to look at her in the same light ever again.

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:59:46 PM EDT

[#16]

My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction."

I replied, "Where did that come from?"

Posted: 6/8/2023 8:59:50 PM EDT

[#17]

What do you call a quadriplegic in a whirlpool?

Stu.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:01:51 PM EDT

[#18]

What’s brown and rhymes with “Snoop”?

Dr. Dre.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:04:27 PM EDT

[#19]

There is a new product that combines alphabet soup and a laxative. It’s called “letter rip”.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:10:06 PM EDT

[#20]

Quote History

Quoted:
What’s brown and rhymes with “Snoop”?

Dr. Dre.

View Quote

Why'd the scarecrow get an award?

he was out standing in his field

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:10:33 PM EDT

[#21]

No, son. Let’s walk down that hill and fuck em all.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:12:11 PM EDT

[#22]

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:13:56 PM EDT

[#23]

Take my wife…please.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:16:56 PM EDT

[#24]

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own?

Because it was two tired.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:18:54 PM EDT

[#25]

Where, exactly, is this hotel located? Asking for a friend.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:19:13 PM EDT

[#26]

My dad would always talk like he's the smartest one in the room...

Well, I grew up to be just like him - I'm an arrogant SOB...

BUT,

At least I got the brains to back it up....

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:20:24 PM EDT

[#27]

Why did the golfer carry a change of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:21:34 PM EDT

[#28]

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:22:59 PM EDT

[#29]

Quote History

Quoted:
No, son. Let’s walk down that hill and fuck em all.

View Quote

Understood that reference meme inserted

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:23:21 PM EDT

[#30]

I used to use beef on the grill but now I use asteroids. They’re so much more meteor.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:24:50 PM EDT

[#31]

There's some fucking professionals in here.

Subscribing.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:29:03 PM EDT

[#32]

Did you hear about the kidnapping at “insert your local school here”???

It’s ok - he woke up

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:29:26 PM EDT

[#33]

My wife said that if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it.

So I bought her a candle.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:30:40 PM EDT

[#34]

How do you get beer from the teats of a cow?
Its udderly impossible.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:33:58 PM EDT

[#35]

I had a broken pencil joke, but it was pointless.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:36:57 PM EDT

[#36]

Did you know the biggest export for Australia is boomerangs?

It’s also it’s largest import.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:37:27 PM EDT

[#37]

Quote History

Quoted:

That sounds like one hell of a business opportunity.

View Quote View All Quotes

View All Quotes

Quote History

Quoted:

Quoted:
Hear about the new hotel in town? Its staffed with nothing but topless cowgirls.
They call it the Breast Western.

That sounds like one hell of a business opportunity.

"Topless" anything is a goldmine of a business opportunity...
Carwash
Food truck
Ice cream stand
Tiki bar
Barber shop
Maid service
etc.

Or even simply a "Bikini" version of the above, assuming the bikinis are worn by attractive fit women.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:41:00 PM EDT

[#38]

So this guy walks into a bar…

He said “Ow, that hurt!”

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:41:54 PM EDT

[#39]

Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

They taste “funny”!

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:43:20 PM EDT

[#40]

How do you get a tissue to dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:43:29 PM EDT

[#41]

I got one of those GPS watches and started tracking everything I do.

I found out it takes me 20 minutes to walk to the local bar but 90 minutes to get home. The difference is staggering!

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:43:31 PM EDT

[#42]

The giraffe broke up with the turtle. Seems they couldn't see eye to eye on anything.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:44:30 PM EDT

[#43]

Why don’t witches wear underwear?

To get a better grip on the broom!

(Yeah, my wife didn’t think that was appropriate either.)

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:44:41 PM EDT

[#44]

Didn't even laugh. Close to drunk too

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:44:56 PM EDT

[#45]

Quote History

Quoted:
No, son. Let’s walk down that hill and fuck em all.

View Quote

Attached File

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:45:39 PM EDT

[#46]

I couldn't understand why the baseball was getting larger - then it hit me.

Posted: 6/8/2023 9:49:52 PM EDT

[#47]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying at your front door?

Mat.

What do you call the same guy hanging on the wall?

Art.

And if he’s laying in a pile of leaves?

Russell