While living in my fraternity house on campus:

1 hitting golf balls at the football stadium
2 doing donuts in a 1ton ford on campus
3 setting couch on fire on roof of said house
4 shooting fireworks off of said house
5 so many fights with other fraternities I cant even count

There are others but I am tired of typing. Cops knew us pretty well

Training our retrievers in City of Tulsa Flood Control Ponds which are marked for public use. I have a friend who is a TPD Officer and he says that every time we or someone else trains retrievers at the ponds, they get calls about us which they ignore.

god only knows that 1-3 highly trained field trialing and hunt testing retrievers are a menace to society.

First time-Set a hay field on fire with a bottle rocket, I think I was 10 or 11.

Next time didn't even need to call the cops-Me and a buddy were walking over a freeway overpass when I spit over the side without even thinking about it.

You guessed it, hit the windshield of a cop on his way home. 13 years and in cuffs...my stepfather thought it was funny. My buddies mother went nuclear.

At 15, was taking a double barrel shotgun to the gunsmith. It was broken down, forearm in my pocket, barrels in one hand, stock in the other.

I was walking because it wasn't far and because carrying it on my bike would have been a pain...apparently, someone flipped out and called the police. They just rolled their eyes and went on their way after they saw me.

Once I hit 17, it was more likely to be drunk and disorderly.

My junior year I got the game warden called on me because I was dove hunting off the roof of my grandparents' business I've also have an old, senile, neighbor/landlord lady who has called the sheriff on me for doing the work she asked me to do....multiple times

A psychotic customer called the cops on us for ripping him off. Our store never even did the original repair on his car, he was at our store having a leak checked which may or may not have been related. (The work was done by another one of our locations.)

Long story short, the police eventually asked him to leave our premises and escorted him away.

On a follow-up visit by the officer, she said that he had later stated that she pulled her gun on him.

Posting this on Facebook...

"Does anybody know how to get a cat to stop licking power outlets?

My cat Jack Bauer loves to lick power outlets but every time he does his face gets stuck like this for 3-4 hours.  It goes somewhat back to normal but this has happened a couple dozen times and I'm starting to get worried he could trip a circuit breaker or start a fire or something.

Any help would be great..
The struggle continues"

In 1974 my unit was under orders to return to Okinawa from the Cubie Point. We were to travel on an Air Force C-130.  The USAF security forces were to search us for weapons. They took my US issued pocket knife, tagged it, and instructed me that that the pilot would return it to me upon arriving at our destination. I then boarded the aircraft with my M-16,bayonet. K-Bar, and all of my 782 gear. My weapons were unloaded; but the ammunition was packed away in our gear.  By that time in my military career, I knew better than to ask questions.

Crazy ass  sick retired marine who lived in a cave on the mountain above me always thought I was shooting at him.  Psycho started to shout at me from his perch  about  1/2 mile above my place and unknown to his stupid ass, about 50 yards from my property line.  Told him to shut up and stop fucking with me so he called the sheriffs and I was swatted. Heard he died, Fuck him.. Now fucking rainbows live there.

Shooting my ar at my parents, in a rural neighborhood. Backyard is against the woods, and it's legal to shoot out there. Sheriff showed up because the neighbor lady called in. Sheriff was polite, asked me to not do anymore mag dumps

Well that's scary. I never thought of that. Good to know.

Anyway,
My dumbest police encounter was probably 2000, 2001?  I forget. I was in HS and worked at a pizza shop so I usually got home late on Fridays and weekends. One of those nights I wasn't tired and couldn't sleep so I went for a walk at around 2-3am. Had 2 cruisers roll up on me wanting to know what I as doing and why. I told them why and showed them my ID. They didn't really like my answers but they let me go.

This is one of the times I could kick my younger self's ass. Stopped for going for a walk?  GFY. ID?  Not a chance.

So I always remembered that and told myself that if I was ever in that position it would be "am I being detained?". I would be that guy.

Fast forward quite a few years to last fall. GF has gall bladder removed. She tried to go back to work too soon and ended coming home at lunch the first day back and stayed home the next day. I work nights so that next day we're in bed sleeping and the dogs go off. I ignored it thinking it was the mailman or UPS guy but the knocking and barking continued so I went down and found a cop on the porch asking if the gf is there because her work had called concerned that she didn't go in that day. My dumb ass says "yeah she's upstairs sleeping", stepped onto the porch and explained what was going on, that was that and he left.

It wasn't till a good bit later I had a "wtf" moment. Dude just shows up at my house and I just spill everything?  I spent the last whatever years thinking I'd be the "am I being detained", "come back with a warrant" guy and in my half awake stupor just played right along.

I was 17 and working on my Eagle Scout project which was testing fire hydrant pressure and painting the tops of them according to their pressure. I was doing the project through a local volunteer FD who had given me a map of all the hydrants they wanted me to test, a fire hose, a hydrant wrench, a pressure guage, and assorted cans of spray paint.

So I'm out with 4 younger troop members who were helping me when 2 cop cars roll up to us when we were testing a hydrant. They asked what we were doing so I explained it all, showed them the equipment we were given and gave them my VFD contact. I could hear them calling their supervisor asking what they should do while telling him we looked legit since we had the proper equipment. They eventually told me everything was fine and to keep up the good work and left.

It was obviously the old man whose house we were in front of that called because he had been on his front porch watching the entire time. After the cops left he comes over and asks what we are doing and I just gave a short answer, packed up and left.

It's really better when the coeds are sunbathing in the quad and some loosen or untie their bikini tops and an ice cold water balloon lands in their midst.



Not that I'd know anything about anything like that...



 

I made a 14 y/o boy cry.

We were all at his uncles place next door enjoying a fun summer evening and his rambunctious teenage nephew thought he'd have some fun with me and started taking my hat. I'd take it away from him and then a few mins later he'd grab it back again. I told him (after a few rounds of that) that if he didn't quit, I'd take him down.  He said "oh yeah tough guy" and then grabbed it again.  I pinned him to the ground about 2 seconds later and he couldn't move. I asked if he was done now and he said yes and so I let him up and he immediately grabbed the hat again.   And I immediately took him down again only this time with a little more force.  I held him down again and said if you say uncle that means this is over and I'll let you up. his dad and uncle were both witnesses and told him that was the rule and he was hell bent on not saying "uncle"  and so I just held him there until he finally started to cry and said "uncle" so I let him up and he tried to grab it again but missed and then disappeared.  He went right to the house and called 911 the little shit.

County deputy shows up and asked me if I beat up the neighbor kid.  Fortunately I was sitting right next to the kids uncle and his uncle said "no, no no it didn't happen like what he told you." We were at my house by then.  The deputy was very cool about it and said "well GMG,  I understand and it doesn't seem like you hurt anything more than his feelings but try not engage in confrontations like that with teenage boys anymore please". I said will do and that was that.

That kid is still a little shit I suspect. Haven't seen him since and that is fine by me.

I think that's just being irritated, but not becoming an asshole. Normal, in other words.

I once had a guy  call 911 on me for kidnapping and theft.

I arrested his girlfriend for shoplifting.  He even gave dispatch the license plate of my patrol car.

1994, maybe, summer months, pulled over in MD for abduction.




I was in a convoy of four vehicles, about 16 people total, beat up old Nova, cop said he chased us/tried to catch up for miles before he pulled us over, me and my buddy in the front seat, another buddies girlfriend in the backseat, that guy was driving another vehicle. Said we abducted a female. We immediately started laughing, until we realized they were serious and had hands on guns. They took her out of the car, and asked her over and over if we'd abducted her, as they'd got a call to that effect in Towson, MD. got pulled over just outside the Baltimore line. They make us pull our duffel bags out of the trunk, and empty them at least halfway, we were coming back to NJ from vacation in Virginia. She had to swear over and over again, once they realized she was the only female in the car, and therefore the only one who could have been abducted, that she was with us willingly. Probably about 4 pistols in that trunk, but they were looking for bodies. Maryland was still free america then.






 

Saw her in 2013 when I went up to Jersey as dad was dying, she came over, she's still pretty abductible, but still.

Coworker called the cops because my car was "on fire". I was in it vaping.

Drifting in a brand new asphalt parking lot in my 3rd gen Supra (with a friend in the passenger seat). It had just rained and it was oily so it took NOTHING to break the wheels loose, so I was having a blast going around in big circles.





Cops come screaming up and pull me over. Said a business owner was worried that I was going to throw gravel into his windows.





A business owner... across the street. With a paved parking lot. While I was in a paved parking lot 500 feet away





Then they asked my buddy for his ID and arrested him for something he didn't even do (his brother was driving without a license in Galveston and used my friend's name when the police asked who he was). I was carrying a switchblade and they didn't even search me... I hid it while they were distracted anyway





I ended up becoming good friends with the arresting officer.

 

Fifty something year old neighbor who I am in multi year feud over called the police on me because I gave him the finger.
Responding officer had given me three tickets just days before when the same neighbor turned me in for riding my unregistered quad on our town road.
I got three tickets for driving a quad, but the officer would not write the same neighbor for driving his 3 ton Ford front end loader up and down
the same road which was not allowed on the road under any circumstances.

Officer wanted to ticket me for giving the finger, but the ADA gave the little dip shit officer a lesson on a thing called the constitution and how the finger is
protected speech as ruled by the US Supreme Court.

My garbage cans were at the top of my driveway, not behind my fence.

Even the guy from the city that came out agreed that it was completely BS, and told me not to worry about it.

Early 90's I was driving a HUGE Winnebago RV, I'm talking a couch for a driver's seat, for a guy I knew through town and  a smart ass buddy of mine was riding shot gun. He was going to give me a ride back once I drop off the RV. Anyway, said budding yells out the window to some little kid walking along the street by an elementary school.... HEY LITTLE BOY, WANT A RIDE.. It will make the news feeder for the 2200 news. Followed by nocks on the door in the AM...

About 15 years ago at work I wasn't feeling well and it was slow, so I asked the supervisor if I could cut out early. He's was good with it and I left around 2200 (my shift normally ended at 2300). When I got home about 20 minutes later my phone was ringing and it was him. He was going on about something happening and asking what I did. It turns out that a few minutes after I left the police showed up looking for me, saying that a woman that worked for a different company on the same property had claimed I tased her with a pager sized device like the kind NASA people would have. She claimed it still burned and there was a red mark on her ass from it. My boss and the cops weren't buying it but the police officer said she had to come out for the call. A few days later my bosses boss called me into his office and said this lady filed a complaint that my coworker and I were grabbing our crotches and blowing her kisses.

I had the downstairs neighbor lady call the cops on my roommates and I because someone was playing my drum set after 9pm.

Turns out the person playing that drum set was the husband of said neighbor lady we had invited up earlier to have a few beers with us.

Was 17 or 18.

Hanging out with friends one random night, driving around, etc...

We decided to pull into the local 24 hour laundromat around 11 or so, hung out in the parking for a bit.  One of my friends, (full beard, bigger muscular guy) decided that he wanted to see if he could go for a ride in a commercial dryer.  So we go in, pay the 50 cents, and my friend stuffs himself in the dryer, goes around for a spin or two, and gets out 10 seconds later.    

Fast forward 30 minutes, we left, drove around a bit more, come to a stop light at a small highway nearby and a cop comes rolling up to the green light on the highway, stops and stares at us.  Within 10-15 seconds, a cop pulls up to the light across the street.  We then look the other direction, on the highway and here comes a cop from a different department from that direction.  Light turns green for us, and like Christmas, all 3 cops light us up, and we pull into the gas station that is across the highway.  Cops were very high tension, full on felony stop mode, and as we pulled into a spot, they had boxed us in to the spot.  They come yelling and screaming at our car(Jeep Wrangler), guns drawn and all, and we were just thinking "WTF is going on?"  By the time they arrived at the jeep, 3 more cop cars had pulled in, for a total of 6 cars from 3 different townships, and 8 or 9 officers.  Fortunately, one of the last ones to pull was the Seargent in my town, who knew us, knew the vehicle, knew that we were the type to be hanging around late at night, and knew us well enough to know that while we may have been young and dumb, we weren't the the type to cause any real trouble, so he yelled to all of the other cops to calm down, and back off, and that he'd deal with it.  

Turns out, the busybody woman who was leaving the laundromat while we were hanging out there decided that we were up to no good, and called 911 to tell them that she witnessed a group of adults beat and then stuff a screaming little kid into a dryer and hold the door shut to torture him.  That apparently set off a county-wide search for our vehicle, hence the extreme response.  Cop kind of laughed, knowing that we obviously didn't do it, and also said that due to the nature of the call and the high profile response, he had to cite someone with something.   So my friend got a citation for "joyriding in a laundry machine" which he still has framed somewhere as a souvenir.  Cop also told us that he would have a talk with the busybody that called it in regarding the veracity of her complaint to 911.

"I was drunk in a bar, you threw me into PUBLIC" - Ron White

We got the sheriff's office called on us opening day of dove season by a neighbor who didn't like us shooting. He is a maybe around 60 years old. My friend's dad owned the land. We couldn't have even peppered his roof if we tried. He lived probably 1/2 a mile from the field. We could hear him fussing and hollering.

The officer than showed up was pretty mad . . . . mad because his brother was hunting with us and he had to work. lol

We had people that lived within 100 feet of the field that were as nice as they could be. If anyone would have been bothered by us shooting at daybreak it would have been them.

Fireworks in the suburbs, late on a Saturday night.  16th birthday.

I had a FedEx GROUND driver fail to deliver a broken open case of ammunition, he then called the Police to report the fact that I was "receiving like 1,000 bullets, man ".


Apparently the Police advised him to just do his job which he took to mean that he was now part of a sting operation and should just drive around with it on his truck for a week waiting for further instructions


I got the whole story from the Driver's Supervisor who called to tell me what happened to my package.


This was before online tracking. The order was from AIM and Bryan was most helpful in helping to sort it all out

Sorry its long.  

When I got out of the army I moved into an apartment in Savannah GA.  I had no furniture at all.  Just a TV and a 6" thick foam pad I slept on.  One day my girlfriend shows up with a rottweiler puppy.  I said "I can't have a dog, they charge $100 a month extra."  She says it was at her college running around for about a week and a group of guys were throwing rocks at it, so she saved it.  I had her put posters up but after about a week nobody called for this dog.  So that Saturday I decided I would take the dog to the beach and then drop it off at the Humane League.  

While at the beach some little kid came running up and started petting and hugging the dog.  He told me they had a Rott and had just put it down and he missed it terribly.  I said "Well today's your lucky day kid.  Here's your new dog."  
I never saw such a happy kid!  He asked if I was for real and I asked if his parents were around.  His mom was and she came to talk to me.  Anyway I ended up giving them the dog.  Then I went home.

Here comes the authority part.  I get home and I'm laying on my pad watching Comedy Central when there's a knock on the door.   I open the door and there's two police standing there asking if they can come in to talk to me.  I invite them in and they look around.  the look on their faces was !  HAHA.  They asked if I owned a dog and I said "No."  They seemed kind of surprised and asked "OK, where's your dog at?  And I say "I don't have a dog, look around, I don't have anything."   They then proceed to tell me that a dog had been stolen from someones house back at Ft Stewart and an anonymous tip told them I had a dog matching the appearance of the missing dog

I tell them that I did indeed have a dog but gave it to some kid at the beach just a few hours prior.  They asked for the kids name "Dunno"  They asked where he lived "Dunno"  They asked if I knew a phone #.  "Dunno"  This all seemed very suspicious to them.  So I explained "My girlfriend showed up with a dog, which I cannot own here and I did not want, so I took him to the beach for a few hours of freedom before taking him to the humane league.  In the short time I was there I gave the dog to some kid who wanted him.  Then I came home.

The cops looked at each other, shrugged and thanked me for being honest.

Trash cans left out on the tree lawn too long. Luckily, the PD here is pretty cool.  They called and warned that someone had complained and asked me to put them up as opposed to just ticketing me.  That's pretty typical of the our police.

If by 'authorities' you would include HR people then the stupidest thing I ever had to answer to was when a co-employee
(I wont call him a co-WORKER because the little minority cocksucker did precious little of that) reported me for "dropping something in the hall and it scared him".
 Yes,I had to appear before HR for THAT.

Deputy Sheriff coming to my house to tell me the neighbors were complaining about me shooting my guns in the back yard. I live 5 miles from town on 5 acres and I was here first. Deputy says he knows there is nothing he can do as I am legally shooting on my property. No shit Sherlock.

I told him to tell the neighbors to go f*ck themselves. Not the first ass wipes from the city that moved out here and tried to dictate the rules.

The neighbor across the street from a house I had just moved into called the cops on me for putting my guns in a safe.

One of those 50's ranch-home neighborhoods where every frickin house had a large picture window in the living room, and then a central hallway parallel to the street.  Moving in, stuff just got thrown in the basement if it was a box, and furniture was sparse and there were no curtains still because the GF and I had both moved from small apartments.


The old lady used to sit and watch everything and everybody, and there were two more one on either side of her (who were nice).  The one in the middle was a busybody, liberal assed bitch that thought she owned the whole block. (Called the landlord because the grass was brown... and that I was watering it months later. WTF?)


Anyway, I bought a safe to put the guns in and had it in the "office" bedroom. So I took all my guns from the basement and walked down the hallway (past the window via the doorway to the living room) and put them away.  Some were cased, some were not.


The bitty across the street sees this and called the cops. They were nice enough to just stand there and let her bitch while they pretended to take notes. The old bag pointed and gestured a bunch of times. After like 30 minutes they left. The stupid part, is one of the cops lived two doors down and had seen me around moving.  "That guy has guns"  "So?"


That was the stupidest thing...


Other times, as a young person I was actually doing obnoxious stuff. Never managed to get a ticket or a warning just "stop it."  We chalked every other block of concrete on the street (checkerboard pattern) with a couple of slabs of left over drywall once. That was the most creative thing.

Maybe 20 years ago, a guy killed/kidnapped a girl in northern VA, came down to Bristol TN snatched another girl repeat through the state, I was coming home from a party in my Black Monte Carlo when I was surrounded by 20 cop cars coming from all directions, gun shoved in my face and then jerked out through the window and thrown onto street...apparently the BOLO matched me and my car

Luckily one of the LEO was also in the same Guard unit as me...he was my wing man he got us out of a lot of trouble

They got him in west TN (I dont remember the details but he was a nasty person)

When I was a kid an old man called the cops on me for stealing his newspapers. I was the one delivering his newspapers

A former neighbor called the cops on my son and his friends for playing street
hockey in the cul-de-sac on a Saturday. They were 7 years old.

Cop started laughing when he pulled up and said he wished his kids had a cul-de-sac to play in.

The kids got to turn on the lights and sirens; got junior officer badge stickers.

They thought it was fantastic.


Another day many of us cooked out in the cul-de-sac.

Same neighbor called the fire department.

The firemen ate ribs, burgers, and chicken with us.

The kids played on the fire truck.

The firemen and the kids thought it was fantastic.

A buddy on drums, and I with a guitar through a 60w solid state combo, were "practicing" in an industrial area. We decided to open the garage door and move out onto the apron around 4pm on a weekday afternoon.

LEO: "Just you two making all that noise?"
Me: "YUP!"

My neighbors wife used to be the scourge of our neighborhood....crazy as a shithouse rat.....you'd sometimes see her at 8-9am walking down our road wearing her leopard print nightgown with a big ol' red Solo cup that was probably filled with vodka.....

Apparently, her husband was surfing porn sites and got hit with one of those FBI "moneypack" viruses......

fast forward to the next morning......she is pounding on the door.....

She was "informed" by the CIA and FBI that I had hacked into their computer, downloaded pornography onto it, and had stolen her husbands identity.....screaming at me for about 7-10 minutes....

My wife videoed the entire exchange.....and after I told her to shut up and go home, she made the mistake of getting a little too mouthy with "Mrs. Villafuego"......who promptly shoved her down the steps....

about 45 minutes later, 2 Pasco County Sheriffs cruisers pull up in her driveway.....I waved and motioned for them to come over...after a few minutes with her they came to my place.....where I showed the video of her entire batshit-crazed rant. One of the cops was laughing out loud.....the Sgt. just said "I'm pretty sure we're done here"......and that was that.......

Her husband finally gathered up the balls to talk to me.....rather than admitting to his wife he had been downloading tons of gay porn, he decided to tell her the only possible explanation was that I was a master hacker.....and had not only downloaded/placed the pics/vids on their computer, but I must have stolen his identity to purchase subscriptions to pay sites that showed up on their credit card statements.

they moved about 1 month later.....It was the only time in my life the Police have been to my home....

Someone called the cops on me while I was airplane spotting in London. This was in 2005.

During one of my camping trips at my father's place in April or May of last year, one of his neighbors about a mile down the road called the cops on us because we were shooting at her horses. We were pretty far back in the woods and the direction we were shooting was a full 90 degrees to the left of her property and about 1/2 mile of thick woods to her place. I pulled up Google maps and showed him where her property was in relation to her. They apologized for the intrusion.

We had cooked a few burgers already so we fed them, l let them shoot a few of our guns and even sent them on their way with a six pack of beer for "after their shift" wink, wink.

A few hours later another Sheriff's deputy came out and told us that she called again and wanted to make sure we were staying safe. I fed him too and let him shoot off a few rounds. I guess word must have got out, because we had a few deputies stop by the next day, after their shifts for burgers and beers and shooting.

The next camping trip, I made it a point to call the Sheriff's office and let them know I would be at my father's and we would be shooting and setting off tannerite all weekend. I invited all of them out for some BBQ and shooting. We had a blast, not a peep from the neighbor either.

Wat.jpg

You have trash can police? And its someone with a gun and handcuffs and not a 83 year old hoa widow?

"Kidnapping" my girlfriend's daughter from daycare, even though I was on the approved list and had to provide ID to get buzzed into the building.  

Kid's dad is a royal prick.  I regret not dumping him in a river.

Warming my car up in the driveway before I went to work.  Got ticketed.  It's in the pa vehicle code.  Was making coffee in my kitchen cop car rolls up.  He tickets me and says no unattended idling vehicles.  Now I know

I had the same problem when I lived there too
It didn't help I was working 12 hour days and didn't get home till late
Cops were cool and went to the neighbors door and told them to stop wasting their time with stupid shit

Our range used to get rented out to various municipal police departments.  This particular time I think it may have been a large city PD in B****** county, I think it was their SWAT team.  Anyway, they rented our fifty-yard outdoor range for the afternoon.  I unlocked the gate, turned on the hot/cold line red/green lights and PA system in the tower for them, and went over the range rules.  One rule that we make them sign off on was 'everything brought into range (targets, etc) must be taken away at the end of the night'.  Well, there were forty or fifty of them.  Shot all day, ten am to five pm.  At lunch they brought in catered BBQ.  My boss had walked down to the tower to get some paperwork, saw a dozen big foil trays, paper plates, etc.  He mentioned to the Lieutenant that they needed to make sure they took everything with them and their guy said no problem.

Five o'clock comes and I go over to lock up.  Everything is gone from the range line.  I lock up and go down the road to our office, and lock up there.  Turn out of the parking lot and drive about ten yards past our gate, there's a picnic table there and the SWAT team had dumped all the BBQ catering stuff, all the garbage, plus about 200 cardboard target backers, a couple hundred FBI targets full of holes, and a ton of empty cartridge boxes and plastic trays.  A bunch of empty taser cartridge platic clamshell boxes, and even some porno mags. All just piled all over the table and on the ground.  I call my boss and he comes back, pissed as hell.  He takes pictures of it all and has me bag it all up.  We throw it all in the back of my truck and drive five miles to the PD.  It's quiet, and we carry six contractor bags into the lobby and walk over to the door to the Lieutenant's office.  The desk Sergeant sees our county uniforms and asks if he can help us.  My boss says, "No, Lt So and So left some stuff out at the range and we're dropping it off." We take the stuff into his office, place the bags in front of the Lt's desk, and he snaps some more pics of it with his digital camera.  We leave.

Next day I'm unloading cases of clay targets for the trap house and three cruisers come SCREAMING into the parking lot.  A half dozen officers tumble out and run into the rangemaster's office.  A few minutes later they come out with my boss in cuffs.  They come up to me and prone me out, cuff me, and read me my rights.  I'm looking at my boss like "WTF?" and he's just giving me a goggle-eyed stare, shaking his head.  The other rangemaster was on the phone as they start driving out of the park.  We get to the front gate and there's three cars from county parked across the road.  Major Gillette is one of the deputies, he asks the city cops what the fuck they're doing (range wasn't in their city, it was B****** County).  SWAT cop says we vandalized his office. Sheriff tells him to cut us loose.  City comissioners come in and the SWAT guys demand that we be fired, claim we took a bunch of garbage that wasn't theirs, took it to their PD, and dumped it all over their floor, desks, walls, etc.  My boss gets his camera, shows the pile of crap they left--BBQ, targets, and (LOL) even a couple of porno mags with the SWAT officer's  name on the subsciption label. Then he shows pics of the neatly bagged stuff sitting in the SWAT office .  "Nice porno mags, Bob." I say to the SWAT Lt.  He's red faced, really pissed.  

County commissioner says we could've 'handled it nicer'.  My boss told him we specifically told them they couldn't leave their stuff at the range, and they took it ten yards down the road and fucking DUMPED it.  He wanted them arrested for littering.  Park manager agreed.  County deputy was cracking up, even started twirling a set of cuffs around on his index finger.  Finally the ranking Deputy told the city guys to clean up after themselves next time.  He gave us a wink and escorted us back to our office.  My boss got a tersely-worded letter from P & R saying we ought to 'try to get along' with the municipal PD's better.

Some of my family use to keep Emu and Ostrich. Now this is in the "across the tracks" part of town. One day one of the female Emus escaped and while on her walk through the neighborhood one woman called the city PD to report a dinosaur in her yard. The responding officer was a family friend and soon as he saw the Emu he went to get my uncle to retrieve the bird. Given the location I can only assume the woman who called 911 was high as a kite and it's no telling what kind of "dinosaur" that poor emu emulated

Wow, what a dick.

Independence day, shooting off fireworks in my back yard. I asked if he was a communist and asked him to get the fuck off my property so he left.

Yeah, can't see anyone having an issue with you picking up someone else's kid