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Posted: 3/13/2024 9:41:11 PM EDT
The walking speed of an average human is too fucking slow.  Walk with some god damn purpose.

If you choose not to, have some damn self awareness to get your land whale ass out of the way of people who actually walk more than one little shuffle every three seconds.  

A bonus fuck you to the same land whales who can’t even be bothered to lift their feet off the ground as they pace through the grocery aisles and then always have a reason to stop in the corridor of the entrance/exit blocking all traffic.  Get the fuck out of the way.  

I hope your cart hits a rock in the parking lot and dumps all your Doritos and soda on the ground because I know you can’t possibly bend over to pick it up.  

The elderly and disabled get a pass on this.  

But the rest of you land whales, get the fuck out of the way.  
I bet your fat ass camps in the left lane doing 50 in a 75 zone.  

I feel slightly better now.  
Carry on.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:42:02 PM EDT
[#1]
7/10
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:43:26 PM EDT
[#2]
Order groceries for curbside pickup.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:44:20 PM EDT
[#3]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Order groceries for curbside pickup.
View Quote


It isn’t just the grocery stores.  It’s everywhere.  

Y’all walk too damn slow.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:44:38 PM EDT
[#4]
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:46:00 PM EDT
[#5]
That a boy OP!
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:47:00 PM EDT
[#6]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Order groceries for curbside pickup.
View Quote

LOL.  Our state liquor store does this now.  Im tempted to not have to go in there.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:47:19 PM EDT
[#7]
OP doing supermarket sweep while everyone else is shopping like a person.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:48:02 PM EDT
[#8]
Agreed

Slow fat fuckers are annoying.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:48:08 PM EDT
[#9]
I’ll just be a moseying along pardner
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:49:01 PM EDT
[#10]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Order groceries for curbside pickup.
View Quote


I don't trust their scrutiny when selecting produce.  They just grab whatever is on top.  I like to make sure I'm not getting anything that's wilted or mushy or not ripe.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:49:53 PM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
OP doing supermarket sweep while everyone else is shopping like a person.
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Lol.  That sounds like a challenge to me.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:50:30 PM EDT
[#12]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
7/10
View Quote

Are you and the OP friends? Judging by your lunch thread, I'd say yes, although he deserves a slightly better rating
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:51:20 PM EDT
[#13]
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:53:09 PM EDT
[#14]
Slow moving people in airport terminals

Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:54:53 PM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Are you and the OP friends? Judging by your lunch thread, I'd say yes, although he deserves a slightly better rating
View Quote


Rate away.  
I saw the lunch thread but I couldn't care less what a grown man eats.  Did not comment.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:55:13 PM EDT
[#16]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Slow moving people in airport terminals

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This guy gets it.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:55:18 PM EDT
[#17]
Fat shoppers are the most unaware people in the world. I'm not sure if they think others don't matter or if they simply can turn their fat necks to see that other people exist.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:56:19 PM EDT
[#18]
Bravo.

Your first two sentences are how I can tell if a new hire is going to make it on not.

Walk with a purpose vs. stroll
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:57:06 PM EDT
[#19]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I don't trust their scrutiny when selecting produce.  They just grab whatever is on top.  I like to make sure I'm not getting anything that's wilted or mushy or not ripe.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Order groceries for curbside pickup.


I don't trust their scrutiny when selecting produce.  They just grab whatever is on top.  I like to make sure I'm not getting anything that's wilted or mushy or not ripe.

It's pretty bad.
I keep telling my wife I dont mind stopping on the way home from work.
Walmart usually credits us for anything bad. One time they gave us 30 days to return some vegetables. I told her go ahead and wait 30 days before taking it back.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:57:33 PM EDT
[#20]
Midcap thread
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:58:46 PM EDT
[#21]
I have bad knees and a hip that hurts sometimes. So !@#$%^% with your "walk faster" bullshit. Most days, it just ain't happening.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 9:59:59 PM EDT
[#22]
Yep. Whenever I'm out and about, I spend 5X more time trying to find my way past slow people than I spend actually doing what I set out to do.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:00:34 PM EDT
[#23]
I think the median walking speed is too slow.

If I remember my 5th grade cyphering.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:02:09 PM EDT
[#24]
I walk like I'm T2
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:02:16 PM EDT
[#25]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Slow moving people in airport terminals

View Quote

Even worse, lazy fucks that just stand still on the moving walkways. Like yeah, there’s a line down the middle and one side is for standing. But almost every lazy fuck that stands while they ride the conveyor belt never fails to block the entire width with their luggage. Move, bitch! I’m trying to use the moving walkways to walk at an even faster pace to catch my connection!
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:03:28 PM EDT
[#26]
About 3 MPH
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:04:29 PM EDT
[#27]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
I have bad knees and a hip that hurts sometimes. So !@#$%^% with your "walk faster" bullshit. Most days, it just ain't happening.
View Quote


Seeing how you acknowledge this, I would bet that you have the self  awareness of your speed and allow others to pass when the opportunity arises.  

Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:06:12 PM EDT
[#28]
Michael Jackson - The First Moonwalk (1983)
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:07:59 PM EDT
[#29]
9/10.

Correct use of 'aisles' versus 'isles'.

I would like to subscribe to OP's newsletter.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:09:50 PM EDT
[#30]
You live in TX.

You should see land whales move in NYC.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:10:43 PM EDT
[#31]
I have shot legs. I can't help if I walk slow...
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:10:56 PM EDT
[#32]
I walk at a 20 minute mile
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:11:18 PM EDT
[#33]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Seeing how you acknowledge this, I would bet that you have the self  awareness of your speed and allow others to pass when the opportunity arises.  

View Quote

Well, I usually walk on the right-hand side (in hallways, at the store, etc.), the same as I do when I drive (just some weird thing I do). But what's crazy is I'm not a slow driver. I usually get annoyed by anyone going slower than about 10 over the limit.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:13:08 PM EDT
[#34]
I agree with your observations, you even covered how no one can move to the side of the aisle.  Bonus points for their kid or car being pointed the opposite direction for maximum blockade effect.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:13:13 PM EDT
[#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
OP doing supermarket sweep while everyone else is shopping like a person.
View Quote

In other words he shops like a man.  Women do the gatherer thing, walking down every aisle and touching the produce.  Men are hunters, who have a goal seek it out, purchase and are done.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:14:02 PM EDT
[#36]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Actually - MJ did NOT do the first "Moon Walk".
That was done by Bill Bailey back in 1955.
At the end of the video...
The First Moonwalk - Bill Bailey - The Apollo Theatre - New York - 1955

Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:14:13 PM EDT
[#37]
Meh.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:14:46 PM EDT
[#38]
Range walk! Range walk!
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:15:09 PM EDT
[#39]
About 7mph sustained if I remember right for a motivated individual. About 25 miles a day for about a week with full rations and full rest periods.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:15:28 PM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:

Even worse, lazy fucks that just stand still on the moving walkways. Like yeah, there’s a line down the middle and one side is for standing. But almost every lazy fuck that stands while they ride the conveyor belt never fails to block the entire width with their luggage. Move, bitch! I’m trying to use the moving walkways to walk at an even faster pace to catch my connection!
View Quote



Down escalators to the train in ATL
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:19:39 PM EDT
[#41]
What drives me nuts is the family vacation to the grocery store. Grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, uncle Steve and 4 fucking kids completely clogging up an aisle. I am sure one of them has a high enough IQ to complete a grocery run on their own.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:35:25 PM EDT
[#42]
I have a natural, energy-minimal walking gait.
If that's too slow, too fucking bad.

Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:36:57 PM EDT
[#43]
Who you calling elderly?
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:43:05 PM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
What drives me nuts is the family vacation to the grocery store. Grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, uncle Steve and 4 fucking kids completely clogging up an aisle. I am sure one of them has a high enough IQ to complete a grocery run on their own.
View Quote

Yes, never fails in rural TN, Walmart aisles completely clogged with 2 groups of the above.

Forget trying to go down the aisle between checkout and the beginning of the merchandise, always totally oblivious slow movers and people pulling into the aisle without looking.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:49:04 PM EDT
[#45]
Get a tuba OP.

Family Guy Stewie follows fat people with tuba
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:52:18 PM EDT
[#46]
3 mph according to the Primary Arms Nova reticle.
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:56:40 PM EDT
[#47]
Quoted:
The walking speed of an average human is too fucking slow.  Walk with some god damn purpose.

If you choose not to, have some damn self awareness to get your land whale ass out of the way of people who actually walk more than one little shuffle every three seconds.  

A bonus fuck you to the same land whales who can’t even be bothered to lift their feet off the ground as they pace through the grocery aisles and then always have a reason to stop in the corridor of the entrance/exit blocking all traffic.  Get the fuck out of the way.  

I hope your cart hits a rock in the parking lot and dumps all your Doritos and soda on the ground because I know you can’t possibly bend over to pick it up.  

The elderly and disabled get a pass on this.  

But the rest of you land whales, get the fuck out of the way.  
I bet your fat ass camps in the left lane doing 50 in a 75 zone.  

I feel slightly better now.  
Carry on.
View Quote
   Thanks for the tips OP !    I will now slow down even more driving and walking just to piss off people like you . I will post these suggestions to the secret website dedicated to asking these questions how to annoy non-boomers !
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 10:57:37 PM EDT
[#48]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
OP doing supermarket sweep while everyone else is shopping like a person.
View Quote

I can get 2 weeks worth of groceries in like 20 minutes, door in to door out.
[mazdawhisper]ZoomZoom[/mazdawhisper]
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 11:01:21 PM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
About 7mph sustained if I remember right for a motivated individual. About 25 miles a day for about a week with full rations and full rest periods.
View Quote
lol....no
Link Posted: 3/13/2024 11:02:15 PM EDT
[#50]
You’re not my boss
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