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Posted: 12/17/2022 10:01:08 AM EDT
I've yet to hear a rousing course of Garry Owen during a good bar fight.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:04:58 AM EDT
[#1]
Ninjas have been a very small part of my life, I was led to believe they would kill my family.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:06:17 AM EDT
[#2]
As a kid I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it's turned out to be.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:08:48 AM EDT
[#3]
Grenades would make a huge fireball and shooting from the hip was accurate
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:11:12 AM EDT
[#4]
Revolvers hold 87 rounds without reloading.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:15:07 AM EDT
[#5]
Not everyone is gay.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:17:59 AM EDT
[#6]
100 lb. women should dominate mma, wrestling and boxing but they don’t
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:18:31 AM EDT
[#7]
Half the population is LGBTXYZ

Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:19:30 AM EDT
[#8]
That 5' 6" 100 pound women can beat the ever-loving shit out of 6' 2" 210 pound men easily...
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:19:40 AM EDT
[#9]
My guns all run out of ammo after a few shots. I was led to believe this was not the case.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:21:10 AM EDT
[#10]
If you grit your teeth and pull hard on the steering wheel you can make a car jump a gap in the road.  

Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:23:24 AM EDT
[#11]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
As a kid I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it's turned out to be.
View Quote



And army ants.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:24:01 AM EDT
[#12]
A Christmas bonus can fund a swimming pool.

ETA - with enough left over to fly you all down here to dedicate it.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:24:46 AM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Ninjas have been a very small part of my life, I was led to believe they would kill my family.
View Quote


Maybe not so far fetched.


http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:25:07 AM EDT
[#14]
I would never ever ever have to reload.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:26:00 AM EDT
[#15]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Not everyone is gay.
View Quote


What?  Are we talking just GD?
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:28:09 AM EDT
[#16]
Haven't needed an Uzi yet, which even a small sample of 80s movies would tell you is completely wrong.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:28:23 AM EDT
[#17]
Suppressors make all guns as quiet as mouse farts.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:28:41 AM EDT
[#18]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Ninjas have been a very small part of my life, I was led to believe they would kill my family.
View Quote

This…. And the lack of quicksand
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:29:10 AM EDT
[#19]
I got turned into a newt.

And I never got better.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:30:48 AM EDT
[#20]
Glock 7 ceramic handgun
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:31:31 AM EDT
[#21]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
As a kid I thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem than it's turned out to be.
View Quote
For me, it was killer bees.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:33:15 AM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Glock 7 ceramic handgun
View Quote


Costs more than I make in a month
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:33:35 AM EDT
[#23]
Most everyone that hears my suppressor on an AR for the first time think something is wrong with it.  "Why's it so loud?  Is it supposed to sound that loud?  Why isn't it quiet like in the movies?"

For me personally, my middle school and early high school days was learning that the good guy doesn't get the girl in the end.  Pretty sure I was friend zone, embodied
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:34:48 AM EDT
[#24]
Glocks pass through any metal detector.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:36:19 AM EDT
[#25]
That piranhas would eat me alive in the rivers of Midwest
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:38:20 AM EDT
[#26]
Fissile material is much more difficult to obtain than I was led to believe.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:39:07 AM EDT
[#27]
On the other hand, something I've learned...if you ever have an extremely violent criminal at gun point...someone who wants you dead and is intent on doing you harm....DONT SHOOT....rather, you should engage in witty small talk and make sure you are standing within arms reach of your captive at all times. Definitely do not keep distance between yourself on the target, and definitely do not take the first opportunity to shoot and eliminate the threat. You are going to want to try to intimidate them with anecdotes for as long as you can.

Dont worry, there wont be any distractions that give your captive any opportunity to take the upper hand. And definitely do not have any concerns that once you walk away and leave the captive with your trusted associates to 'finish the job' that the captive will use the element of surprise to turn the tables and escape. This never happens. Ever.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:39:40 AM EDT
[#28]
Bad guys stand absolutely still right in front of the hero and let themselves be punched.

Bullet wounds only hurt right after you get shot and you can continue on for hours after getting shot, even in the chest.

You can get hit over the head with a heavy wooden chair or other substantial object with no I’ll effect.

Plainclothes LEOs never conceal their gear and No on notices.  Female LEOs wear skinny jeans on duty.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:42:04 AM EDT
[#29]
You can pull the pin on a grenade with your teeth.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:43:20 AM EDT
[#30]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You can get hit over the head with a heavy wooden chair or other substantial object with no I’ll effect.
View Quote


Only if you are the hero, if you are NOT the hero any blow to the head or neck (particularly from behind) will render you instantly unconscious.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:44:05 AM EDT
[#31]
That American presidents were wise, heroic and loved this country and its constitution.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:45:19 AM EDT
[#32]
No matter what massive city you’re in, you’d have a parking spot right in front of whatever building you’re pulling up to go into.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:46:11 AM EDT
[#33]
A serial killer armed only with a sharp object can lay waste to large groups of people in a small rural community and some random redneck doesn’t just shoot them in the face with a 30-30.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:46:14 AM EDT
[#34]
The juice is worth the squeeze
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:47:02 AM EDT
[#35]
1. Remove steering column cover.
2. Touch two wires together.
3. Enjoy your free new car.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:47:03 AM EDT
[#36]
I've yet to have Phoebe Cates slowly exit my pool and unleash her perfect breasteses.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:47:23 AM EDT
[#37]
A pistol with a locked slide still goes click as if the firing pin is dropping
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:48:51 AM EDT
[#38]
Military surplus stores actually have an arms bazaar in the back room.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:49:29 AM EDT
[#39]
A gang of ten violent men will wait their turn to fight you.  

There is an open parking space in front of every building in New York.

Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:51:53 AM EDT
[#40]
A) By only carefully filming her from the waist up for years, I had been led to believe Ashley Judd was attractive.

B) Public prosecutors are dedicated public servants who really want to put felons in jail.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:52:34 AM EDT
[#41]
Flying cars should be in everyone's driveway by now.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 10:59:01 AM EDT
[#42]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
You can pull the pin on a grenade with your teeth.
View Quote

^^^
This & you can safely handle & accurately shoot an M60 with one hand from the hip.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:00:04 AM EDT
[#43]
That a roadrunner is faster than a coyote.....my whole childhood was a lie
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:01:37 AM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
A Christmas bonus can fund a swimming pool.

ETA - with enough left over to fly you all down here to dedicate it.
View Quote


I can't swim Clark.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:03:43 AM EDT
[#45]
There is always an open parking spot in front of every downtown building.

EDIT: Beat. lol
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:10:46 AM EDT
[#46]
That every gun store has a bank of full autos ready for sale and you can buy them as easily as a candy bar.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:13:50 AM EDT
[#47]
You thumb the hammer back on your pistol only after you've made witty chit chat with the bad guy. That way he knows you are serious now.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:21:36 AM EDT
[#48]
Nevermind. I suck at posting gifs.
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:28:27 AM EDT
[#49]
Saloon tables are bullet proof
Link Posted: 12/17/2022 11:29:19 AM EDT
[#50]
Quick sand
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