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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:35:43 PM EDT
[#1]
Consolidate the debt and cut up cards you get one payment for a long time. Very few people in this position have the will to see it through.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:37:38 PM EDT
[#2]
As a first step, can you get her to stop using the cards?
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:38:34 PM EDT
[#3]
A long time ago, my late wife was in the same boat. We consolidated them into a zero-percent transfer card and quit using the old cards. Sometimes you can get up to 18 months with no interest.
You have to do the math on the transfer fee to see if it makes sense nowadays, though. I seem to remember that you used to be able to transfer balances without a transfer fee. Alternatively, does she have equity in a home? If you can keep her disciplined, and follow through, a HELOC will give you a way lower rate than credit cards. Same with a personal loan... lower than CCs for sure. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:38:53 PM EDT
[#4]
Unsecured debt? File bankruptcy and wait 7 years for it to roll off your credit report. If you can't beat them, join them.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:41:14 PM EDT
[#5]
Debt consolidation loan. Pick up extra shift or get a weekend job to get out of it.
Call one of those debt negotiation firms. Sometimes with credit card debt, a company will purchase the debt for pennies om the dollar. They make money by getting the full amount plus interest but sometimes you can call and make an offer for less. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:42:28 PM EDT
[#6]
Get a higher paying job or get an additional job. Work off the debt and then move forward more responsibly.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:42:36 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Unsecured debt? File bankruptcy and wait 7 years for it to roll off your credit report. If you can't beat them, join them. This, after cleared of debt, you can marry her, and use your credit to buy houses and cars and everything needed to establish your life together. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:42:59 PM EDT
[#8]
Those credit rebuilding places just charge you to do things you can do yourself. Contact the CC companies and tell them whats going on. You might be surprised. They have a few things they can do, lower interest rate temporarily, suspend payments for a period of time to allow your GF to get back on her feet, etc. Its in their interest to work with you versus the GF just stop paying and they're out the money. Try calling and talking to them and just be honest. If shes been a good customer and hasn't been flaky, they'll work with you.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:44:14 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Unsecured debt? File bankruptcy and wait 7 years for it to roll off your credit report. If you can't beat them, join them. Depending on how much the debt is, this might be the best answer. My ex is horrible with money. When we were married, I never had two nickels to rub together. She ran up credit card debt to where we simply couldn't make the payments. We went to one of those "Credit Counseling" services, and all they did was charge a fee to take a monthly payment and divvy it up amongst our creditors. After maybe six months of that, and still getting statements in the mail where the balances were barely going down, we said, "Fuck it" and declared bankruptcy. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:45:18 PM EDT
[#10]
Budget.
Figure out where every penny is coming from and where every penny is going to. That's the first step. Don't know how you're gonna get somewhere if you don't know where you're starting. Next, cut expenses to the bone. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:46:31 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This, after cleared of debt, you can marry her, and use your credit to buy houses and cars and everything needed to establish your life together. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:46:38 PM EDT
[#12]
There's always hookin and strippin'
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:46:49 PM EDT
[#13]
Assuming she's not using the credit cards to feed herself ...
1. Stop living beyond her means. 2. Pay off each card starting with the highest interest rates. 3. Once paid off destroy the card keeping only the cheapest (rate wise) cards. 4. Start saving, paying yourself first. See how easy that is to do? Four quick and easy steps to financial stability. If she doesn't stop spending/living beyond her means she's going to be a wreck time-and-time again across her life. Delayed gratification is difficult for the young and some do grow out of it. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:47:49 PM EDT
[#14]
How much of it is Starbucks?
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:49:26 PM EDT
[#15]
There are solutions for the repayment part of the equation.
But it is not what will solve the problem. I’ve seen many people consolidate to get some breathing room just to strangle themselves. The first thing to work on is “why” this is happening. Then worry about what to do. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:50:00 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: As a first step, can you get her to stop using the cards? She has. If she doesn't I would never offer to help. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:50:02 PM EDT
[#17]
If she is a hot female it's generally easy to get married to a financially successful male and have him pay the debt off...
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:51:21 PM EDT
[#18]
How much debt, secured vs unsecured? What’s her income and take home?
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:51:37 PM EDT
[#19]
Transfer balances to a new card that doesn't charge interest for 6 months to a year (if she can qualify?)
Pay down as much as you can over that time period Roll remainder to another similar card with that deal, keep doing it until it's paid off |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:53:20 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: There are solutions for the repayment part of the equation. But it is not what will solve the problem. I’ve seen many people consolidate to get some breathing room just to strangle themselves. The first thing to work on is “why” this is happening. Then worry about what to do. This. Her spending habits need to change. If she can't/won't do that, don't make her financial problems your responsibility. All the other advice for dealing with this situation has already been provided. Buy her a Dave Ramsey book and tell her to read it. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:53:38 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How much debt, secured vs unsecured? What's her income and take home? What are her opportunities for overtime or swapping jobs and obtaining higher pay? She probably needs to cut expenses and increase income to be successful. Are these financial woes somewhat event driven or are they completely self induced? |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:55:04 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Transfer balances to a new card that doesn't charge interest for 6 months to a year (if she can qualify?) Pay down as much as you can over that time period Roll remainder to another similar card with that deal, keep doing it until it's paid off If she can access them, they can be useful, but many people who already got behind will just dig their hole deeper when given an increase in credit availability. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:55:29 PM EDT
[#23]
I'm going to second the consolidation suggestion. I'm actually going through this myself.
I'm about a year and a half into a 3yr commitment and its much easier making one smaller payment than managing 10 different cards that added up to double what I'm paying the law firm. I realize they're charging me a fee for the service and I'm fine with that. Let them contact all the debtors and do the negotiating. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:56:29 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Unsecured debt? File bankruptcy and wait 7 years for it to roll off your credit report. If you can't beat them, join them. It's the American way. Consumers, government, banks, morals. Errrbody be goin bankrupt up in herr. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:56:42 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Consolidate the debt and cut up cards you get one payment for a long time. Very few people in this position have the will to see it through. This. If she’s not willing to cut up her cards, she’s not serious. She will make a mess of your cards…..if you give her the chance. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:57:39 PM EDT
[#26]
i don't really know shit about consumer credit counseling but it sounds like another money suck.
I'd consolidate the debt. Either find as low a rate of a personal loan as possible or just get new cards with 0% interest balance transfers (this will still cost a % for the initial transfer) but that should be cheaper than 20%+ interest most credit cards charge. Then beans and rice and sell the dog to pay that shit off and cut up the actual cards so she doesn't spend more on them. I would pay my mortgage on my credit card if I could and have a giant pile of cards because I like the intro bonuses and 0% intro aprs when I need to make a large purchase. I haven't paid interest on a credit card since I was 18 though. The third job doesn't really fix the spending issues. is she doordashing 7x a week? Trying to pay her share to keep up with your arf billionaire lifestyle? As much as Dave Ramsey can miss the mark in optimizing finances she needs to go listen to him, work her way through his baby steps debt snowball and dig herself out of the shit. His basic method for someone like her is to sell anything that isn't an absolute necessity, do a detailed budget and cut whatever you can, then pay the card/debt with the lowest balance off. Take the payments that were going to that and start working on the next lowest balance. This isn't the optimal mathematical strategy, this is the optimal stupid emotional human strategy. If you are going to offer to "help" it should not be paying her cards off. Offer her to live with you and you will "pay" her to do clean the house etc and not charge her rent. (this is probably a terrible idea, you should just dump her and go find someone who is less retarded). |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:57:45 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Consolidate the debt and cut up cards you get one payment for a long time. Very few people in this position have the will to see it through. FPNI. I know quite a few people who have done this and very few who have succeeded. After she does this, if she wants to get a credit card tell her to get one that she has to pay off each month, like Amex. She needs to get used to the idea of paying it off each month, and sticking to a budget to be able to do that. She has to learn to not live beyond her means though. That's tough for people who live on credit. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:58:50 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A long time ago, my late wife was in the same boat. We consolidated them into a zero-percent transfer card and quit using the old cards. Sometimes you can get up to 18 months with no interest. You have to do the math on the transfer fee to see if it makes sense nowadays, though. I seem to remember that you used to be able to transfer balances without a transfer fee. Alternatively, does she have equity in a home? If you can keep her disciplined, and follow through, a HELOC will give you a way lower rate than credit cards. Same with a personal loan... lower than CCs for sure. Promotional transfers are the best bet, especially if she can piggy back two or three just as the last one is about to start interest again. Most have a transfer fee, but 3% or whatever up front is a hell of a lot better than almost 20%. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 5:59:49 PM EDT
[#29]
Easy, get her pregnant then it’s your problem to fix.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:01:28 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Assuming she's not using the credit cards to feed herself ... 1. Stop living beyond her means. 2. Pay off each card starting with the highest interest rates. 3. Once paid off destroy the card keeping only the cheapest (rate wise) cards. 4. Start saving, paying yourself first. See how easy that is to do? Four quick and easy steps to financial stability. If she doesn't stop spending/living beyond her means she's going to be a wreck time-and-time again across her life. Delayed gratification is difficult for the young and some do grow out of it. most likely the cards vary little in interest rate. While that is the mathematically sound way of doing things we aren't dealing with someone who is disciplined and good at math. She needs to do the Ramsey snowball lowest balance paid off first, get the emotional win and keep charging through them. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:01:54 PM EDT
[#31]
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:02:20 PM EDT
[#32]
Is she A Liberal communist? Don’t do anything and wait for A Guvment Bailout. After bitching and moaning about it.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:03:23 PM EDT
[#33]
If she has a house, she could maybe refinance it and use the equity to pay the cards.
End up with a higher mortgage maybe (esp with today's rates) |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:04:49 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How much debt, secured vs unsecured? What’s her income and take home? Unsecured. She is not exactly a high earner, though I am not either. I am just ultra frugal. She works 30 hours at a mall job and 4 hours a week at a hardware store. She would drop the 4 hours and instead pick up around 20 hours at another job and do 50 hours a week or close to it. The jobs are paying around 18 - 19 dollars an hour. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:05:33 PM EDT
[#35]
When you've dug yourself into a hole, you need to put down the fucking shovel and stop digging before you'll be able to climb out.
Every. Single. Time. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:07:25 PM EDT
[#36]
There are services that can help her consolidate debt into one lower interest loan with manageable payments. DO NOT PAY ANYBODY FOR THIS COUNSELING. The legitimate services are FREE to the consumer and actually funded by the banks (because they loathe bad debt in their portfolio and not interested in repossessing a used Kurig or designer bicycle). They may even be able to negotiate a reduction in principal. Much of this will be based on her income.
Ultimately, it comes down to consolidating all the debt into one loan at a lower interest rate with a monthly payment she can afford. Beyond that, she needs to change her spending habits and learn to live within her means. My $0.02 - If she is a good girlfriend then keep her as a girlfriend but don’t even think about marriage until she has her finances in order and learns how to live within a budget. At its core, a marriage is a business relationship. Treat it as such. Don’t enter into a marriage with someone you wouldn’t start a business with. ETA- She can reach out to one of the banks that issued her a credit card. They should be more than happy to provide contact information for one of the free and reputable services. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:07:34 PM EDT
[#37]
Eject.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:07:45 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Unsecured. She is not exactly a high earner, though I am not either. I am just ultra frugal. She works 30 hours at a mall job and 4 hours a week at a hardware store. She would drop the 4 hours and instead pick up around 20 hours at another job and do 50 hours a week or close to it. The jobs are paying around 18 - 19 dollars an hour. yeah she should do that. $2500 vs $3600 |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:08:25 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Then beans and rice and sell the dog to pay that shit off +1 Maybe not on selling the dog. But sell some shit. Did she buy a bunch of shoes and purses? Any items she bought on the cards that still holds value or that can be returned, unload it. Even if you sell something and take a loss on it, thats still better than keeping the item and paying 500% interest on it by the time the cards are finally paid off. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:08:52 PM EDT
[#40]
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:09:37 PM EDT
[#41]
What kind of assets does she have that are worth selling? Also take a look at the recurring monthly expenses like tv, internet, phone, and streaming services. These monthly plans add up quickly and you don’t realize it.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:10:16 PM EDT
[#42]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Eject. Took long enough |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:10:37 PM EDT
[#43]
Quote Historyyou can watch a ton of his stuff on youtube and get the idea and use his every dollar app or any other budgeting app and save the $70. I also pretty much outlined his whole strategy in a sentence above. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:11:47 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted: +1 Maybe not on selling the dog. But sell some shit. Did she buy a bunch of shoes and purses? Any items she bought on the cards that still holds value or that can be returned, unload it. Even if you sell something and take a loss on it, thats still better than keeping the item and paying 500% interest on it by the time the cards are finally paid off. If she has a $3000 puppy... |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:13:52 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted: She has. If she doesn't I would never offer to help. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: As a first step, can you get her to stop using the cards? |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:14:28 PM EDT
[#46]
Go live in the Washington State wilderness as a hermit.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:15:06 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Then 'DO NOT' cut up the cards as everyone suggests. Closing those accounts will hurt her credit score for the future when everything is paid off. you don't have to close the accounts when you cut up the cards. her credit score is kind of meaningless at this point |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:16:03 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Unsecured. She is not exactly a high earner, though I am not either. I am just ultra frugal. She works 30 hours at a mall job and 4 hours a week at a hardware store. She would drop the 4 hours and instead pick up around 20 hours at another job and do 50 hours a week or close to it. The jobs are paying around 18 - 19 dollars an hour. She should start hitting up the job placement companies and find a full time job. If she likes pets, maybe get on Rover or something like that and feed and walk people’s animals for extra money. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:19:19 PM EDT
[#49]
Dude, if you are serious about this woman, both of you get a second job and blow away the Credit Card debt.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 6:20:35 PM EDT
[#50]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A long time ago, my late wife was in the same boat. We consolidated them into a zero-percent transfer card and quit using the old cards. Sometimes you can get up to 18 months with no interest. You have to do the math on the transfer fee to see if it makes sense nowadays, though. I seem to remember that you used to be able to transfer balances without a transfer fee. Alternatively, does she have equity in a home? If you can keep her disciplined, and follow through, a HELOC will give you a way lower rate than credit cards. Same with a personal loan... lower than CCs for sure. The CC companies used to send out 0% transfer offers and checks - right about the time you had pretty much stopped using the cards but were still making unimpressive payments. Buy something or transfer everything from some other entity to them at 0%* for a year~18mo (* a couple of points get tacked on up front - and your existing balance doesn't get credited until the new charge is paid down!). -A friend- (with a manageable but stupid amount of debt at the time) had an idea and stopped tearing up these predatory offers. Soon offers arrived at the same time from both of -his- primary creditors. He used offer A to pay off card B, and once that cleared and he had a $0 balance statement from B, he used better offer B to pay off card A (now the whole enchilada). For 2-3% everything was then at 0% for 18 months. |
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