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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:28:54 PM EDT
[#1]
When you start telling someone to not take a vacation for 10 years, get the cheapest pay as you go phone service. Stop eating out and no starbucks.
They will say I dont want to live like that. I have family that financed a pet through petland around the same price $3,000  . They are broke and can barely make ends meet. They drive newer cars than me and take expensive vacations. She has to be onboard with the whole deal. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:30:08 PM EDT
[#2]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I work in collections, your best bet will be to consolidate it into one loan over the long term. These “debt settlement” companies usually want a large fee and only want to help if the debt is in collections. NY has a lot of consumer protection laws about debt collections, read up on them, maybe the best move is to not pay and settle for half of what is owed. Does she own any REAL assets? Like a fancy car, a home, a boat and so on? If not and let’s say she makes 50k a year, she might be judgement proof. This ignores the ethical part, about paying what you owe and agreed to. You cannot get a pay-for-delete from a credit card collection. You can negotiate for less. But the reality is you'd be better off just using bankruptcy and getting it all over with in one whack, if you are going to walk away from what you agreed to. Your credit will recover faster. I am helping someone restore their credit, with old collections (that will finally drop off next year) but in hindsight she would have been a lot better off just filing for bankruptcy. We have been unable to get her Experian FICO score above 665 with the collections. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:30:16 PM EDT
[#3]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Probably depends on how much. So... How much? When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. 16k is not that big of a hole to dig out of. I was figuring this was a 100k problem. She just needs to get on a budget she can afford and pay it off while not spending more money. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:30:58 PM EDT
[#4]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This. When I was 18 (64 now) I had a number of things come up and had more on cards than I was comfortable with. I took out a small bank loan out, paid off the cards, cut them up and paid until I paid off the loan. Never missed a payment or was even late. IIRC it was only about $1,500, but at the time it may as well have been $1,500,000 to me. I don't like to be in debt to anyone. Consequently, no mortgage or car payments. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Consolidate the debt and cut up cards you get one payment for a long time. Very few people in this position have the will to see it through. This. When I was 18 (64 now) I had a number of things come up and had more on cards than I was comfortable with. I took out a small bank loan out, paid off the cards, cut them up and paid until I paid off the loan. Never missed a payment or was even late. IIRC it was only about $1,500, but at the time it may as well have been $1,500,000 to me. I don't like to be in debt to anyone. Consequently, no mortgage or car payments. Signature loans for $1500 are very plausible. No bank is loaning you $16,000 unsecured. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:32:15 PM EDT
[#5]
Dave Ramsay and his baby steps are very effective. But you have to be absolutely dead nuts serious about getting out of debt or it’s a waste of time.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:33:52 PM EDT
[#6]
Quote HistoryQuoted: You do not need shit on your credit score to have 800+ I have 1 card which I only use to buy shit on palmettostatearmory.com and it should be 0% utilization but it must send the report right after I buy something. 1 small car lease. That's it. Don't suck credit card or banks dick trying to improve your score. Get to a place where you don't even give a shit about it. Cut them cards up. https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/341657/credit-2928888.jpg https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/341657/credit2-2928889.jpg https://www.ar15.com/media/mediaFiles/341657/credit1-2928890.jpg Credit Karma scoring is near-meaningless. They use Vantage 3.0 scoring models, which are not used by anyone who actually loans money. Create an account with Experian, and see your FICO 8 score for free. Yours should still be very good, but it will not be Vantage 3.0 fairy tale good. Example. My friend with collections, very short credit history, but all positive for the past two years: Credit Karma Vantage 3.0 - 753 (Excellent) Experian FICO 8 - 631 (Fair) |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:35:17 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Consolidate the debt and cut up cards you get one payment for a long time. Very few people in this position have the will to see it through. FPNI As a general rule, You can't exercise enough to lose weight without changing what you eat, and you can't earn enough to get out of debt without changing your spending. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:38:42 PM EDT
[#8]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Those credit rebuilding places just charge you to do things you can do yourself. Contact the CC companies and tell them whats going on. You might be surprised. They have a few things they can do, lower interest rate temporarily, suspend payments for a period of time to allow your GF to get back on her feet, etc. Its in their interest to work with you versus the GF just stop paying and they're out the money. Try calling and talking to them and just be honest. If shes been a good customer and hasn't been flaky, they'll work with you. This, ask them what they can due and you want to pay them off, just need time. Sometimes you can get a fixed rate and they convert it to a fixed loan. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:58:37 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted: How serious of a couple are you? That's very decent of you. And the amount of interest she would avoid is substantial. So she turned down your offer for whatever reason. But to not consolidate and keep paying minimum amounts and accruing high interest charges? Something is wrong here. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. How serious of a couple are you? That's very decent of you. And the amount of interest she would avoid is substantial. So she turned down your offer for whatever reason. But to not consolidate and keep paying minimum amounts and accruing high interest charges? Something is wrong here. We have been together for 12 years. I have no idea why she won't even make a few phone calls. We had a long talk tonight. My offer to help her was a last resort. I told her to first look into consolidation, but for whatever reason she is dragging her feet. She says she will look into it next week.  Yet all she talks about is how upset she is over getting into this situation. I'm trying to help. That is why I asked on here. Don't ask me to explain women's thought processes. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 8:58:49 PM EDT
[#10]
Quote HistoryQuoted: That's getting more difficult to do, as men are wising up. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:00:40 PM EDT
[#11]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We have been together for 12 years. I have no idea why she won't even make a few phone calls. We had a long talk tonight. My offer to help her was a last resort. I told her to first look into consolidation, but for whatever reason she is dragger her feet. She says she will look into it next week. Yet all she talks about is how upset she is over getting into this situation. I'm trying to help. That is why I asked on here. Don't ask me to explain women's thought processes. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. How serious of a couple are you? That's very decent of you. And the amount of interest she would avoid is substantial. So she turned down your offer for whatever reason. But to not consolidate and keep paying minimum amounts and accruing high interest charges? Something is wrong here. We have been together for 12 years. I have no idea why she won't even make a few phone calls. We had a long talk tonight. My offer to help her was a last resort. I told her to first look into consolidation, but for whatever reason she is dragger her feet. She says she will look into it next week. Yet all she talks about is how upset she is over getting into this situation. I'm trying to help. That is why I asked on here. Don't ask me to explain women's thought processes. She doesn't know how to get out of it, and it is overwhelming her. Have her read the book. If you "loan" her the money it will destroy your relationship, and she will not learn. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:13:57 PM EDT
[#12]
This will not get resolved over time. If you get married, you will be on the hook and she can dig a bigger debt crater. I'd put any plans on hold until she demonstrates the maturity to resolve the problem she created and then does it..
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:17:25 PM EDT
[#13]
How much we talking about here?
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:21:49 PM EDT
[#14]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We have been together for 12 years. I have no idea why she won't even make a few phone calls. We had a long talk tonight. My offer to help her was a last resort. I told her to first look into consolidation, but for whatever reason she is dragging her feet. She says she will look into it next week. Yet all she talks about is how upset she is over getting into this situation. I'm trying to help. That is why I asked on here. Don't ask me to explain women's thought processes. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. How serious of a couple are you? That's very decent of you. And the amount of interest she would avoid is substantial. So she turned down your offer for whatever reason. But to not consolidate and keep paying minimum amounts and accruing high interest charges? Something is wrong here. We have been together for 12 years. I have no idea why she won't even make a few phone calls. We had a long talk tonight. My offer to help her was a last resort. I told her to first look into consolidation, but for whatever reason she is dragging her feet. She says she will look into it next week. Yet all she talks about is how upset she is over getting into this situation. I'm trying to help. That is why I asked on here. Don't ask me to explain women's thought processes. Based on that, I’ll bet you the 16k is ONE credit card. She probably has three or four. Nobody enjoys laying out all of their money problems. Maybe that’s not the case, but you should not be shocked if it comes out later that it’s a much more significant problem. I can relate, I dated a girl for a year who had told me, “I have a credit card debt problem I’m working through”. It’s not uncommon to have CC debt and it’s honestly not that big a deal within reason. Once we started talking about marriage, she disclosed that she had about 80k in credit card debt, was making minimum payments on them and had opened a couple new ones recently - she was living on CC’s and accruing additional debt. She also had about $140k in student loans and was about to take out another $80k or so for a Masters in social work, of all things (that pays about 40k per year at best). I told her I could pay off all the existing debt once if she’d abandon the useless plan for a Masters degree and either make do with her bachelors or get a Master’s in something that paid better. She refused, so I broke things off on the spot. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:24:12 PM EDT
[#15]
Shitcan your girlfriend.
She's dead weight and it's not going to change unless she owns the consequences solo. Get your financial house in order. Get money Fuck bitches |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:25:17 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Over 16 grand? That's the stupidest thing I've read all week. Maybe ever. 16k for someone making what she does will be paid off....never. Bankruptcy would put her through debt counseling, and give her a fresh start. Maybe you aren't as smart as you think you are? |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:27:17 PM EDT
[#17]
I’m being dead serious. Bankruptcy is an option. Depending on how bad, it could be a very good option.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:33:02 PM EDT
[#18]
Go to Dave Ramsey classes
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:37:16 PM EDT
[#19]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I’m being dead serious. Bankruptcy is an option. Depending on how bad, it could be a very good option. It's 16k. Cut the 4 hour "second job" and get another 30 hour job. And.....Take financial peace together. She needs Dave. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:40:41 PM EDT
[#20]
Quote HistoryQuoted: It's 16k. Cut the 4 hour "second job" and get another 30 hour job. And.....Take financial peace together. She needs Dave. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I’m being dead serious. Bankruptcy is an option. Depending on how bad, it could be a very good option. It's 16k. Cut the 4 hour "second job" and get another 30 hour job. And.....Take financial peace together. She needs Dave. 16k? I thought op said she could barely afford minimum payments. Beans and rice time and 2nd job. Knocked out in under a year. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:42:15 PM EDT
[#21]
Quote HistoryQuoted: We have been together for 12 years. I have no idea why she won't even make a few phone calls. We had a long talk tonight. My offer to help her was a last resort. I told her to first look into consolidation, but for whatever reason she is dragging her feet. She says she will look into it next week. Yet all she talks about is how upset she is over getting into this situation. I'm trying to help. That is why I asked on here. Don't ask me to explain women's thought processes. Yeah, that makes quantum physics look easy. Good luck OP. I don't see any resolution on the GF's debt anytime soon with her passive/aggressive reactions to it. You need to have a serious heart to heart about her debt and your future together. Because one is going to impact the other. JMHO YMMV |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:44:06 PM EDT
[#22]
$16k shouldn't be hard if she quits working part time mall jobs. Tell the bossman she needs some real hours or she's out. Go look for an adult job.
Maybe if she spent more than 20-30hr a week at work, she'd have less time to spend money.  And another thought, did she ring up a big chunk of this debt at the mall where she works? |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:48:32 PM EDT
[#23]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Rather than pay them off and cut them up/close accounts, it's technically better to leave open and pay them down to 20% of credit limit, then exercise them but keep around that range. It's the quickest way to rebuild her damaged credit. This is no harder than paying off & closing, but will not damage her credit like that will. But only assuming she can be that disciplined (or you can make it so). No reason to keep them at 20% utilization. Pay off the statement balance every month before the due date. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:50:12 PM EDT
[#24]
Only one thing to do.
Declare bankruptcy. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:51:19 PM EDT
[#25]
Chapter 13 awaits
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:52:15 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 16k for someone making what she does will be paid off....never. Bankruptcy would put her through debt counseling, and give her a fresh start. Maybe you aren't as smart as you think you are? I'm a CFO. I think I'm smart enough to know pissing away 14 years of your life away to go through 7 years of bankruptcy and 7 years of rebuilding credit over 16k is as stupid as it gets. So she gets a real second job. Or gets a better job. Or changes her spending habits. Or swallows her pride and takes OP up on his offer. Or calls Trinity Debt Management, or one of a dozen other options that are all exponentially better choices than filing bankruptcy on 16k. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:53:22 PM EDT
[#27]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Assuming she's not using the credit cards to feed herself ... 1. Stop living beyond her means. 2. Pay off each card starting with the highest interest rates. 3. Once paid off destroy the card keeping only the cheapest (rate wise) cards. 4. Start saving, paying yourself first. See how easy that is to do? Four quick and easy steps to financial stability. If she doesn't stop spending/living beyond her means she's going to be a wreck time-and-time again across her life. Delayed gratification is difficult for the young and some do grow out of it. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:53:35 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Based on that, I’ll bet you the 16k is ONE credit card. She probably has three or four. Nobody enjoys laying out all of their money problems. Maybe that’s not the case, but you should not be shocked if it comes out later that it’s a much more significant problem. I’m thinking this as well. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 9:57:05 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted: This, after cleared of debt, you can marry her, and use your credit to buy houses and cars and everything needed to establish your life together. Marry a woman incapable of managing her finances?  Attached File |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:07:36 PM EDT
[#30]
Quote HistoryQuoted: No reason to keep them at 20% utilization. Pay off the statement balance every month before the due date. Bingo. People don't realize that CC utilization is based off statement balance. You can show a positive credit utilization and still pay it off every month. I have no idea why that escapes people. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:23:32 PM EDT
[#31]
Quote HistoryQuoted: , did she ring up a big chunk of this debt at the mall where she works? Had this thought too |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:30:39 PM EDT
[#32]
$16k is absolutely doable, probably in around 12 months if she knuckles down. COOK AT HOME and crush the debt. She’ll be much better on the other side.
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:37:10 PM EDT
[#33]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I'm a CFO. I think I'm smart enough to know pissing away 14 years of your life away to go through 7 years of bankruptcy and 7 years of rebuilding credit over 16k is as stupid as it gets. So she gets a real second job. Or gets a better job. Or changes her spending habits. Or swallows her pride and takes OP up on his offer. Or calls Trinity Debt Management, or one of a dozen other options that are all exponentially better choices than filing bankruptcy on 16k. I don't give a fuck what you are dude. And you don't know shit about bankruptcy. Trinity will take her money, fight her creditors, then they will put the debt back on her, and she will still struggle. I know, I've been there, did the Trinity thing, all of that. Bankruptcy, credit counseling, clean slate. In 4-5yrs she will have a 750+ score and actually get the monkey off her back. 14 yrs my ass. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:38:23 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted: 16k? I thought op said she could barely afford minimum payments. Beans and rice time and 2nd job. Knocked out in under a year. She's working two jobs for a total of 34 hours per week at $18-19 per hour. GF needs a career not shitty part-time mall jobs in addition to cutting her spending. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:39:49 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't give a fuck what you are dude. And you don't know shit about bankruptcy. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I'm a CFO. I think I'm smart enough to know pissing away 14 years of your life away to go through 7 years of bankruptcy and 7 years of rebuilding credit over 16k is as stupid as it gets. So she gets a real second job. Or gets a better job. Or changes her spending habits. Or swallows her pride and takes OP up on his offer. Or calls Trinity Debt Management, or one of a dozen other options that are all exponentially better choices than filing bankruptcy on 16k. I don't give a fuck what you are dude. And you don't know shit about bankruptcy. Why you so angry?
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:41:26 PM EDT
[#36]
Quote HistoryQuoted: When I used the word "crushing" in the title I meant crushing for her. In truth the amount for me is not really that high. I have seven different accounts between CDs, Savings, Retirement, checking, and investments. Only one of the seven has less than the amount that she owes. It's $16k. Edit to add - I offered to pay off her debt in full, and have her pay me back $500 a month for 32 months. I would loss out on the 5% interest that I'm currently earning. Not a big deal. She doesn't want to do that. She is even making excuses to not consolidate. Most direct is to stop using those cards and cut back on her expenses. It's easier said than done but she's gotta understand and realize that she's gonna have to do without some of the treats and luxuries she might have. I don't know what kinda life your girlfriend or you live, but this is things like using free music streaming services instead of Spotify or Pandora or whatever, or making coffee at home instead of hitting up Starbucks. Pack a sandwich for lunch instead of going out. Buy the store brand stuff instead of name brand. She needs to sit down and on paper or with a budgeting app, figure out a budget and stick to it. Conversely depending on how her credit looks, which assuming she hasn't been missing any payments or anything crazy like that it's probably decent, like maybe mid 600s or better, she could try applying for a balance transfer credit card from someone like Discover or Citi that'll give her zero percent for 12 or 18 months or whatever to pay it back. $16K credit card debt has crushing interest rates, it'll take like 40 years or something to pay that off making minimum payments at the 30% APR or whatever most credit card companies charge. Low or no interest balance transfers will give her some room to breathe and actually start making good progress on her debt - again though, discipline. This is only good for whatever the introductory period is, after that, she's right back in the same hole she's currently in. If she's able to pull off a balance transfer she has to have the will and self discipline to dump everything she can into that while the juice isn't running from the interest. She might not be able to front the full amount owed, but any significant progress while the interest isn't running can do nothing but help. She could also try applying for a debt consolidation loan from her bank or credit union. Interest rates are gonna be probably half of what she's paying with the credit card companies if not less than half. DISCIPLINE though. Moving a debt around to a lower or no interest source is only one half of the puzzle. She has to be willing to invest the effort and money into paying those debts off ricky tick. That's the hard part, that's the shit that doesn't just change overnight. Good luck to her and to you. I've been there, I've experienced sleepless nights stressing the fuck out over stupid debts buying dumb shit I didn't need. It'll make you sick and fuck your head up. It took me a while to get myself straight but I'm doing okay these days. If she wants to, she'll get there too. Edit - And be very careful about offering to help her with her debt. Things like this can very easily ruin relationships in a hurry. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:43:02 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Why you so angry? Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: I'm a CFO. I think I'm smart enough to know pissing away 14 years of your life away to go through 7 years of bankruptcy and 7 years of rebuilding credit over 16k is as stupid as it gets. So she gets a real second job. Or gets a better job. Or changes her spending habits. Or swallows her pride and takes OP up on his offer. Or calls Trinity Debt Management, or one of a dozen other options that are all exponentially better choices than filing bankruptcy on 16k. I don't give a fuck what you are dude. And you don't know shit about bankruptcy. Why you so angry? Sorry... |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 10:56:52 PM EDT
[#38]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Bankruptcy. Seriously. For $16k??? 
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:03:59 PM EDT
[#39]
Quote HistoryQuoted: Signature loans for $1500 are very plausible. No bank is loaning you $16,000 unsecured. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:04:56 PM EDT
[#40]
Forget about the interest rates, focus on the lowest balance card first with extra money and pay the minimum on the others. Once the lowest balance card is paid off move to the next lowest balance by applying what she was paying on the paid off card plus the minimum payment and pay it off. Keep doing this until no more balances.
If loose morals are a factor there's always OF. Could pay it all off in a month and buy a new Ferrari cash. JS. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:20:18 PM EDT
[#41]
Quote HistoryQuoted: I don't give a fuck what you are dude. And you don't know shit about bankruptcy. Trinity will take her money, fight her creditors, then they will put the debt back on her, and she will still struggle. I know, I've been there, did the Trinity thing, all of that. Bankruptcy, credit counseling, clean slate. In 4-5yrs she will have a 750+ score and actually get the monkey off her back. 14 yrs my ass. lol Trinity is free, at least for most services, as it is non-profit. It's a ministry, and they only collect fees on certain services while working a program and the average is barely $30/mo while they save the average person enrolled over $500/mo in interest. And someone who went through bankruptcy telling a CFO about finance is hilarious even for Arfcom standards. With how angry you are maybe you need anger counseling too. 
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:29:22 PM EDT
[#42]
The "cut up the cards after the debt is paid off is BS". Cut them up NOW.
One doesn't need a physical card to pay off the debt. Secondly, it sounds like she doesn't really want out. You might end up in her "hole", and very deeply..  Choose wisely.Make her make a REAL commitment, before you make one that you will regret for a long while. Pussy is a hell of a drug. Tread carefully.  |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:30:32 PM EDT
[#43]
SIMPLE - STOP SPENDING MORE THAN YOUR INCOME!
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:31:37 PM EDT
[#44]
A lot of women have the following life strategy:
1) Spend wrecklessly 2) Some guy will fix it Don't be that guy. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:33:22 PM EDT
[#45]
Quoted: When people say "asking for a friend" they normally are joking. In this case I'm really asking for a friend. My girlfriend to be precise. I am hesitant to ask a question on here as the last one I asked I was dog piled on. Quick explanation. My girlfriend is not the worst with money, but she did get in over her head with credit card debt. Now she is struggling just to make minimum payments on a bunch of cards, which basically are only paying off the interest. She wants to take a third job but even then it will be rough with how high the rates are. So I seem to remember something from years back called Consumer Credit Counseling, which an ex had to do. If I remember correctly it worked back then. I see on a Google search that it's still a thing. Is that recommended? Any other options? I did actually offer to help. I thank you guys in advance for any honest help. I will be here back and forth tonight to answer any questions that would help in figuring out a solution. When I was younger, I would have taken a harder line against walking away from debt. Today, I understand that those credit counseling services are just there to keep you on the hook a little longer for the credit companies and most don;t do anything you can’t do yourself in terms of calling an negotiating with the companies. It costs money to have them manage your affairs for you too. As for being in debt up to her eyeballs, I’m conflicted. She didn’t mind adding to that debt every time she swiped her card for a dinner out or for something she wanted, but with responsible borrowing comes responsible lending. If the credit companies want to play with fire and risk defaults from people they loan so much money to that they reasonably know they will struggle to make the payments, then that’s the risk they take when gambling with their money. IMO, if you are at a point where you can’t pay it back by working a second job, it’s time to admit you have a problem that you lack the ability to self control/manage, declare bankruptcy, and resolve to never do it again. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:35:13 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted: A lot of women have the following life strategy: 1) Spend wrecklessly 2) Some guy will fix it Don't be that guy. I was trying to think of a nice way to say this. Well done, +1 |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:35:26 PM EDT
[#47]
Quote HistoryQuoted: The CC companies used to send out 0% transfer offers and checks - right about the time you had pretty much stopped using the cards but were still making unimpressive payments. Buy something or transfer everything from some other entity to them at 0%* for a year~18mo (* a couple of points get tacked on up front - and your existing balance doesn't get credited until the new charge is paid down!). -A friend- (with a manageable but stupid amount of debt at the time) had an idea and stopped tearing up these predatory offers. Soon offers arrived at the same time from both of -his- primary creditors. He used offer A to pay off card B, and once that cleared and he had a $0 balance statement from B, he used better offer B to pay off card A (now the whole enchilada). For 2-3% everything was then at 0% for 18 months. Smart. You know what else is smart? Not selling yourself into indentured servitude by using a revolving credit line. Emergencies? Ok. Anything other than that, if you can’t afford it, YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:37:51 PM EDT
[#48]
Scorched earth if you can help bank roll this…
Once she is behind 3-6 months on payments. Call each card ask to talk to a supervisor threatening bankruptcy offer 10 cents on the dollar. Some will take it some will take 25 cents per dollar. Credit will be wreaked for a couple years but not like bankruptcy. As for taxes, there is an insolvency clause so you won’t owe tax on discharged debt. Did this for my wife before we got married. Nearly 100k paid off for 20k. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:38:28 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted: lol Trinity is free, at least for most services, as it is non-profit. It's a ministry, and they only collect fees on certain services while working a program and the average is barely $30/mo while they save the average person enrolled over $500/mo in interest. And someone who went through bankruptcy telling a CFO about finance is hilarious even for Arfcom standards. With how angry you are maybe you need anger counseling too. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: I don't give a fuck what you are dude. And you don't know shit about bankruptcy. Trinity will take her money, fight her creditors, then they will put the debt back on her, and she will still struggle. I know, I've been there, did the Trinity thing, all of that. Bankruptcy, credit counseling, clean slate. In 4-5yrs she will have a 750+ score and actually get the monkey off her back. 14 yrs my ass. lol Trinity is free, at least for most services, as it is non-profit. It's a ministry, and they only collect fees on certain services while working a program and the average is barely $30/mo while they save the average person enrolled over $500/mo in interest. And someone who went through bankruptcy telling a CFO about finance is hilarious even for Arfcom standards. With how angry you are maybe you need anger counseling too. Yeah, this reminds me greatly of the guy who works night shift at the local gas station. He tells *everyone* how poorly he gets treated by his employer because they only pay him $15/hr. I asked him this week after hearing about it for the 12th time why he doesn’t apply for a better job… “Well I don’t have a car or a driver license and all the other employers that pay more have this stupid requirement that I should be able to show up for work on time, but they don’t take into account that I don’t have a car…” he then goes on to explain that he can’t reapply for a driver license test because after failing his last one, he got violent with the instructor and was trespassed forever from the local DMV. The world is out to get him and is holding him back in life at every turn, and by “the world”, I mean his own stupid actions are holding him back at every turn. |
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Posted: 8/22/2023 11:43:05 PM EDT
[#50]
 How To Pay Off A Credit Card with -0- Cash Flow! I am not a Mathematician, but the concept is REAL |
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